Am I petty?
In 2019 someone commented “not funny” under my tweet
I’ve catfished him for 5 years. Made him fall in love with me
He’s meeting me at a restaurant for the first time tonight (I won’t be there)
The waiter will give him a note that’s just my tweet he commented on
In grade 3 my sister intentionally killed my tamagotchi.
Two weeks ago, she asked me to water her plants while she was away on vacation
Tonight when she comes home, the plants will be dead and my tamagotchi will be on the kitchen table.
I remember when I was 6 my grandpa took the batteries out of my gameboy because I was “reliant on technology”
Well well well, guess who’s on life support while I need to charge my phone?
Wife: did you kill that spider from yesterday?
*Flashback to me giving him $100 to leave my family alone*
Me: of course! I’m the man of the house after all
Am I petty?
In 2019 someone commented “not funny” under my tweet
I’ve catfished him for 3 years. Made him fall in love with me
He’s meeting me at a restaurant for the first time tonight (I won’t be there)
The waiter will give him a note that’s just my tweet he commented on