Oh no I just realized I have no friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh no I just realized I’m a slut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anytime I hear a noise in my house late at night I fall off the bed stealthily and slither on the ground in the shadows with my phone and butcher knife that I keep under my pillow whilst whispering in parseltongue and if that doesn’t scare the intruder away I marry them
I WANT TO PLAY IN EVERY CITY AND MEET ALL OF YOU and WILL in the near future but until then I have to keep hustling as an underground pop star stripper until people start paying attention
On Mondays I'm normal, Tuesdays I'm a slut, on Wednesdays I like to think of myself as a cook, on Thursdays I'm a serial killer, Fri-Saturday I'm a pop star and on Sundays I go to church
I’d rather jump off a cliff than start dating again I don’t recommend it, requires you to be nice and think of someone else constantly it’s exhausting!!!
Shout out to all my catfishes on tinder for photoshopping my face on another body. I love you James, Cooper, Hunter and Marcus I’ll check out your band
I WANT TO BE IN EUROPE RIGHT NOW AND SPANKED ON TOP OF THE EIFFEL TOWER AND politely spanked in front of Big Ben and I want to twerk on the leaning tower of Pisa and slut drop in a German haunted castle