Shlomo Goldstein
@iamferschnicket
Followers
261
Following
165
Media
75
Statuses
414
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@incognitoStunna
JBL mini the cup holder to amplify the sound to now having a soundbar on my living room TV. We made it out the trenches
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Me surprising pookie (the fellas) with flowers (a bag) after a long week
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Looking for a good locker room presence and somebody with good cardio
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In the gender neutral bathroom shitting next to a girl rn and she just audibly gagged. Sorry chief, you wanted this
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SELLING: Dune Popcorn Cover (gently used) 9/10 condition. $50 obo. No lowballers
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Called the bartender a retard last night and got all of us kicked out of the bar
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Watching this Drake video made me realize how much we have in common (I love cranking my hog)
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Thanks to the burner community for my first 10 followers. Gonna go spank my monkey in a crowded public area
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Sunday night. 48 hours of gambling drinking and sniffing later
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One my clients called me sweetie today and I cummed myself
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My uber hit a squirrel and I said 10 points and he asked me to get out
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How I look leaving Afters at 7am seeing the sun for the first time in 12 hours
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I’m asking every uber to let me drive until one of them lets me. Thread starting today
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I left the burnerverse for a minute but now I’m back
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I hope to see all my burner friends at ARC this year. Last year
@SamuelMalcolms1
@RadfordMaddison
and I met Matt Araizas agent and did permanent damage to our nostrils
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I’m gonna have the best day ever. Also yeah I can cook
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Decided to mix protein powder with coffee this morning and I think I could shit a 90 mph fastball rn
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Would maybe go through 3 sleeves a week
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My plastic army men after fighting in world war three when I was 7.
I was exhausted after training all day! More training this week!
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Woke up to see Lisa Ann got arrested. I’m about to make January 6th look like a playground
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BREAKING
@SamuelMalcolms1
mentioned in Epstein documents after forcing underage children to listen to a 12 hour Deep German Techno performance
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Feel bad for the poor immigrant who gets to deliver my tacos today
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First zyn after a night of drinking no water no food
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Recorded Ibiza sets on SoundCloud
Zyns
Tequila
Meat
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Thinking about switching things up and fucking a cup of pudding for Valentine’s Day
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I would get on all fours and bark if I ever meet this woman
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@WNBA_Youngboy38
There’s a dude at my gym who wears a mask in the sauna. Like brother you are about to give yourself something worth than covid
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Just overheard my coworkers talking about Burner Twitter at lunch. I walked by and whispered Tap In to them. Now they won’t stop following me
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Jizzed in my roommates air humidifier because he drank my tequila
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@reggiecartahh
These words have filled my heart with warmth. Let’s have a day.
Sincerely,
Your friend Shlomo
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My butthole after convincing myself I can eat an entire taco 12 pack from Taco Bell in 1 sitting at 2am
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