mojita
@iDeserveABells
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I'm here to lie and laugh.
Johannesburg, South Africa
Joined March 2012
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Watching Hollywood make a movie about this in a few years where America is the good guy is going to be wild
A must share video! Perhaps the most important part of the South Africa case against Israel at the ICJ today presented.
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Drake: I write raps for your boss Terrance
Pusha T: your mom let a nigga who wears Steve Harvey suits beat and she never got a ring
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They’ve been sharing anti-vaccine propaganda in the family group and my dad has had enough 😭😭😭😂😂😂
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I remember my first encounter with an actual Xhosa person was first year outside of high school. She told me Xhosa people are very clever because even on Emzini Wezinsizwa the only one who knew English was Tshawe 😭😭😭
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With South African men I've noticed that we only have a problem when foreign men harm our women. It's almost as if we want the exclusive rights to harm them
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CAs will never miss an opportunity to tell us how much they earn 😂 di breadwinner tsa South Africa
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Matriculants who have no clue what to this year. Don't ignore trades. There's money to be made there, with a wide variety of trades. These are just some of trades and their pay scale with +/- 2yrs experience
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"Only reason Pulisic didn't shoot is because he's not at a school"
football twitter is definitely one of the most problematic parts of twitter💀💀💀💀-
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You could be colleagues with someone who once won Jika Majika and you wouldn't even know it. Such is the unpredictability of life
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My final straw with Nigerian movies was when i saw lady pour poison into food and taste it to see if it was enough
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ANC heard we’re planning to leave and they’re trying to get us pregnant. Don’t fall for it, they’re going to be a shitty baby daddy
This is the Nancefield station in Soweto, which was recently re-opened. With just R7.50, commuters can once again travel to Johannesburg CBD using the metro rail.
PRASA has rehabilitated 31 of its 40 corridors across the country.
@Alpha_Mero25
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There’s an African country that’s hosted it before and could host again if given 2yrs to prepare 👀
Copa America championship game delayed 30 min because of fans entering without a ticket.
Keep in mind we host the biggest tournament in the world in two years. This is a great look for the host nation 😂
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These Jay Z and Beyonce pictures are so weird man, it's like accidentally walking in on a relative that's bathing
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Our railway systems if Sovo's dad never looted
How come Japan gets cool shit like suspension monorail trains, and we don't? 😠😖
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My baby mama didn't take me back after I cheated, because I forgot to mention I was bewitched 😭💔
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Will never forget how bad Khetiwe's drinking problem got, Mfundi even had to get Samuel L Jackson to come tell her "stop drinking motherfucker"
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That niggas biggest hit was you 😭😭😭😭
I guarantee you the ones with the most to say about Priddy Ugly have heard the least. He’s wack? On the basis of what? A lot of you ride that wave cause it’s cooler or safer to do. Herd mentality gripped you by the balls. So how can we take anything you say seriously?
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When my cheeks are clapping just a little too loud during missionary
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Tswana niggas think "re ska tlwaelana" is a threat, nigga fuck you and Kulenyane
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The "Oledi chelete ya borotho" 7s
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Having to face abelungu and their aircons on Thursday. It will probably be colder than the Thursday Bonang was born
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White people hunt animals as a sport then when they're nearly extinct start charity organisations to help save the species they wiped out 😷
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Kana the reason SOE’s have collapsed, zero service delivery, potholes everywhere is so niggas can do this
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Turns out the whole world o rata mmino wa makompo 😭
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First time i had Xhosa pussy i went home and yelled 'hayi hayi kwedini' when my dad asked me for the remote
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I can’t make noise after 8pm because your kids are asleep but they can play outside my bedroom window at 7am on a Sunday? I absolutely get this.
People that live with their kids in a complex are annoying in that they want those without kids to adjust to their needs and honestly, fuck you and your damn kids.
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So when South African men bring up the fact that foreign men allegedly traffic our women. It's not out of concern for our women. It has to do with the fact that they can't fathom anyone but them harming South African women
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Red soft dread? I can tell you now that pussy is mostly likely impeccable
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You know how you say "short left" and the driver passes and all the passengers come together screaming "SHORT LEFT!"? Well thats ubuntu
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Remember in high school when other kids were opening up their skaftins during break, and we pulled up with a whole braai stand 😭😭😭
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Can't believe we ended up with the word "machingilane" cause a group of Zulu niggas couldn't repeat "march in a line" while doing their training in 1974
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Me on payday after I had to endure a tight budget the week before leading up to it
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Second human trafficking syndicate busted in Springs in the space of a week, well done Ekhuruleni Metro Police department 🙌
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Someone keeps threating the ZCC Facebook page that he'll upload photos of pigs if they don't buy him airtime 😂😭
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“Nestum? I can’t promise anything but one of us will get pampered” would’ve been a fire comeback but instead ukhalela thina on the TL
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Start an account where we can raise funds to make sure you Uber everywhere the whole month 😭😭😭 I’m highly invested in this
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Church: we are made in his image
Also church: *sings* a hona ya tswanang le Jeso!
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Jacob Zuma gets a lot of negative press, but can we acknowledge how much South African hip hop has improved under his regime?
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I’d have to take a weeks leave to go cry 😭
they had to draw their families and she said since her parents went to heaven her brother and I are now her family 🥺. Teaching children🥺🤍
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I’m dying at how he had to take a break from being mad and put the IQ in brackets so his message is clear 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Sterland has to be the worst place to watch a movie. Went there once to watch a movie and with every scene that had a kiss, nigga would shout "mo nyobe!" 😩
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Please don't ask me about my hoes. We have bigger things to worry about baby ghel. Like how Jesus spoke to 5000 people without a microphone.
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If I’m stranded on an island with a pizza and a Priddy ugly CD. You know what I’m doing? I’m eating the CD, then listening to the pizza 😭😭😭
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How'd the first nigga who invented a clock know what time it was
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Drake really dropped 20+ tracks explaining himself. Pusha really damaged the boy. First track and he's already explaining his dad's suits
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Ae guys in terms of pure piano Vigro Deep is untouchable man wtf. Also I need to google that Kaizer Chiefs song cause wow 😭🔥
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How I turn down pussy offers cause I love my girl, and cheating is a foreign concept to black men
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When they'd steal your handles and you'd have to carry your case home like it's a newborn baby
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The announcer is so biased 😭😭😭 all thats left is for him to say “ebile marete agagwe” 😭😭😭
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😭 we’re going to catch hands. But atleast igwijo liphumile
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Maybe I was wrong because 😍
My girl is really relaxing her fro 💔 when women hurt you they make sure
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Engineering twitter has to be the most chilled section of twitter. CA(SA), Doctor, and LLB twitter has to be the most annoying factions on here
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The hottest single Priddy Ugly could give us is if he were to leave his girl 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Lesotho rappers be in the studio on some "Ke sebedisa Huwaei, Ke Tauwe, Hauwe!"
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Bro your country’s last census was in 2006 😭😭😭
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So he never said “Naidoo” ☹️💔
Riky Rick and Bianca Naidoo were reportedly never legally married.
Riky Rick estate is now being contested.
Ntho tse ledi yetsang 😭
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If you grew up ema suburb you might never have known this, but from 2007 to 2009 every buff guy ekasi was called Batista.
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White people trying to sell us things like anti-aging products, like the best anti-aging product isn't being black
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If we’re talking careers Gee65 (may her soul RIP) had a better career than Priddy Ugly
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Stopped dating girls from Soshanguve after i took Matshidiso out for lunch and she cracked her fingers when the food arrived
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@Tokyo_Trev
She said her friends from out of town are coming to visit and being the good bf I paid for the lodge, kanti o tla bhari ya gage
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On paper having one of the worlds highest tax rates but still having to pay for private education, health, security is actually shite on paper isnt it?
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Doubt there's anything I hate more than capitalism. Because of it Mihlali hears this during sex 😩
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Biggest fear is having a son who says things "hlakantsa difebe daar" 💔
My biggest fear is having a daughter who only gets invited to parties bc some dude said "hlakantsha difebe daar" 💔😭
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They burnt down a factory that belongs to on of our clients who just bought a brand new machine worth R50 million last year. That’s about 300 jobs gone in a night
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The funny thing about having a deadbeat parent. Is that when they grow older they try reach out to forge some kind of relationship. I’m almost 30 rest mfethu rest
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You start dating a Xhosa girl and she call's back home saying she's found a job
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Reason gave us No Sleep Remix and he still catches smoke on here. All that nigga Priddy Ugly gave us was relationship goals 😭😭😭😭😭
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😭😭😭 Antony is gonna do a Scara Ngobese-esqu 360 and the British media is gonna lose their minds. Joga Bonito is back ya’ll
If the British Media is fumming about Richarilson, wait till they see Antony and Lucas Paquetá 😭
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“I’ve done two tours in i-rack” like some kind of pop star. You went to war against a third world country and you caught hands
It kills me that US soldiers refer to their time spent in warzones as "tours". "I did two tours in I-rack." Brother, onale PTSD, you lost an arm and your best friend was decapitated by goat herders. Stop making it sound like you went to Tomorrowland.
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You ever just lose feelings for someone like a Blackberry losing network? "3G... 3g... EDGE... edge... GPRS... gprs... GPS... gps... SOS"
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My dad walked back into my life on the father's day of 2008 and said 'unga'kwati usatane uzo jabula'
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Sotho people only started wearing blankets cause they were tired of losing their sweaters to thier girlfriends
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"it's these hooligans who come in their loud taxis from the township, who brought this virus to our schools" 😭😭😭😭😭
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Eskom employees: The grid is finally stable we can stop the power cuts
Politicians:
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@patyvillaescusa
@GooseTheVillain
@elise_flowers
@Independent
Also you didn't see what he saw cause you're white. You've never been the subject of racism so that's a pretty back hand thing to say
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