HOZAMBEE Profile Banner
HOZAMBEE Profile
HOZAMBEE

@hozambeeKE

Followers
7,703
Following
1,487
Media
536
Statuses
46,225
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Pinned Tweet
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
11 days
When I was in Form 2, I got suspended for fighting with a certain boy at school. My dad was really strict, and I had no idea what he would do if he found out I’d been suspended. I went to my uncle’s place and lied that I was sick.
109
151
306
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Siku hizi ukiamka tu kukojoa kwisha wewe ,ukirudi ni msongo wa mawazo mpaka che! 😂
205
2K
8K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Two Rules of a business.. - Usikule Customer - Usikule Stock 😂😂
194
2K
6K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
27 days
Tuelewane one thing, ukitembelea mtu Kwa bedsitter kwanza kunia kwako. By management😂
171
984
6K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
19 days
Ile mkate wazazi wetu walikuwa wanakuja nayo jioni wakitoka Kazi nimeiheshimu zaidi😭
81
921
5K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Unadhani unanipea sleepless nights kumbe mi hulala mchana😂
131
920
4K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Cousin yangu ashawai Toka rehab kama ametushikia mzinga 😂
100
527
3K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Mimi saa hizi labda niumwe umwe kama zile battery za remote ndio nipate energy ya kuanzisha relationship ingine😂😂
122
739
3K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Kuishi pekee yako hufanya msee anakuwa so lazy ....Mimi Huwa napika nikianza kutetemeka 😂
117
597
3K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Hii Nairobi Kama hujawai itiwa Job ukajikuta unahudhuria mkutano ya GNLD , AIM Global na network marketing , Bado Hujafikiwa ...Siku yako inakuja 😂😂
180
432
2K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Nikama tulikuwa tunaandika our future kwa Insha "Alitafta Kazi kwa Udi na Uvumba Lakini aliambulia patupu ." 😂😂
101
465
2K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Unajua tu vizuri kwenu wewe ndio tegemeo na hutaki kuvaa Condom ..
47
308
1K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
As a Kenyan for now 1. Try not to fall sick. 2. Don't let anything happen to your phone. 3. Drink plenty water and eat healthy. 4. Don't make a woman pregnant 5. Avoid trouble will land you in police station. 6. Read number 4 again. 7. Try to read number 4 again
86
382
1K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Nani ako na mahindi gorogoro mbili nimpee woofer,,,, I will not eat music🙄💔
124
278
1K
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 years
Who is your GOAT 🐐?
Tweet media one
305
185
999
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
I wonder who told African taxi driver na wasee wa nduthi that the perfect time to buy fuel ni after umeload customer 😂
103
243
970
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Leo nimekula samaki na mkate nikajua mbona watu wa Bibilia walibakisha 😂
88
243
921
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
26 days
Watu wa duka mnasurvive aje, mkate unakula 2bob!!!? Na kiberiti nayo wooi!!! Na Bado mtu anakopa na anatoroka😂😂
94
104
856
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
30 days
Unaenda kugotea morio wako unapata manzi yako akipika pilau ....Sheree inaanza 😂
95
143
818
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Dem anakulalia vizuri kwa kifua alafu tumbo inaamua kukua Studio ...Wah 😂
84
190
801
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Tuko kwa chief tunaskiza kesi ya kevoh...Dame wake amejifungua twins na Kevoh anasema moja sio wake
96
125
805
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Ile siku utapatwa ukinyonga ndio utajua mnyonge Hana haki 😂😂
117
245
777
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Morio akisha Smash dem , Relationship hubaki imeshikilia na dem
99
206
753
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
28 days
Ushago Unaamka asubui unapata shosh amefungia kuku na earphones zako 😂😂
99
207
750
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
I think part of growing up is not upgrading your phone unless you need to 😂
96
214
699
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 years
IEBC chair @WChebukati has spilled the beans. Wueh!!
37
60
665
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
I still don't know why people keep quiet in the exam room when the question clearly says discuss. 😂😂
106
230
686
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Ushawahi jiuliza mbona lodgings hukuwa na bibilia kwa meza
136
94
684
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Ka inahusu kusikia poa usiogope kutoa pesa juu ingekuwa ni ugonjwa ungetoa kusema ukweli .Usijikazie ....
109
245
678
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 years
Pussy inapaswa kuwa na shape ipi?, juu hapa naona zigzag.
75
148
612
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
22 days
21
20
610
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
13 days
My mom visited my hostel where I shared a 2 bedroom house with a female student. Mom invited my roommate for lunch with us which she obliged.
78
162
618
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
17 days
Nairobi CBD bei ya kila kitu ni mia, inadepend umeskia mia mara ngapi 😂😂.
95
172
593
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
3 months
Before you go to Xvideos try to visit girls in Team Kenya .Will you Smash or pass these ones ? Check Thread for Kisii babe🔥
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
Tweet media four
94
140
539
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Mpaka wa Leo sijai elewa mbona fundi wa simu huwa anajificha akitengeneza simu🤔😂
106
171
539
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Better days zinaniona zinaweka gear 5 kumamaye 😂😂
109
116
535
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 years
Drop that dark humour in your gallery THREAD
Tweet media one
37
119
459
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
3 months
@humuorn_ Ona hii ya Njoki
2
13
483
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Hii Tabia ya mnapigana ukipigwa Unasema umeendea panga unakosa kurudi,Tuwache😂😭🤌🏿
89
93
497
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 years
Will the apex court rule in favour of William Ruto and the entire Kenya Kwanza team?
45
22
487
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Men are good people ni wewe unachagua wale wa brown 😂
115
180
468
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Nimeona hii shirt nikajua tu ni wewe 😂Hii ni madharau imeenda group of schools. Ni gani ingine unajua
109
174
466
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Living alone is crazy,you can go 7hrs without saying a single word🙂
87
154
461
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Hakuna pain kama Ile you getting older but not getting taller 😂😂
84
149
458
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Unakosa kuongelesha dem wako mwaka moja na nusu anadhani mmewachana, ati alishamove on …. Mnakuwaga petty sana 😂
88
165
447
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Pesa nayo tutatafta mshangae , anyway Kuna mtu anaeza niokolea 70 😂
96
169
448
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Imagine 7 billion people on earth and God sees every move you make ,But it was only 2 in the garden of Eden God asked Adam "where are you"
110
166
453
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Unaomba hustle zijipe alafu unarudi unajikunjia kwa duvet ukiwatch series the whole day 😂😂
75
169
447
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
25 days
Ni trick Gani ushai conniwa nayo hadi ukasema wewe si mjanja...
109
60
447
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Lakini Madem hutoa wapi Fare wakiskia Chali ako na Dem mwengine..😄😄😄
110
159
442
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Lakini ukitaka kujua Siri za Bibi yako muite tu bibi ya jirani yako Malaya 😂
78
135
434
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Sahii ata ikiwezekana give me what belongs to Caesars
84
160
432
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Job stress can make you do strange things . Ushai fanya nini kwa kazi ukajua hauko sawa ...
100
136
426
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Kuna mtu anaeza kuita babe akuharibie siku bana
91
162
418
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Ati Leave him he will come back .Yaani unafikiria unadate mtu wa Kenya Power 😂😂
93
69
413
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
The worst you can do as a man marrying a short woman, kanakasirika kanakuuma magoti 😂😂
86
143
399
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
29 days
Kama uko na certificate ya highjump ya high school…na Unaweza ona usiku vizuri niDm.
104
80
396
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Ruto ni wale marafiki wakisota wanauzanga vitu za nyumba 😂
75
81
393
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
13 days
Not all girls want money some girls just want your hood and airpods 😂
83
154
394
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 years
SO THERE IS THIS GIRL, we have been smashing for like one year but hatujawai date though of late she has been pressuring me alot tudate na sijui how to tell her since am not interested na sitaki kumhurt juu anaeza ni expose and worst of it ni course mate. THREAD how we met.......
46
135
336
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
3 months
Sugar daddy show off gone wrong Check. 😂😂 #leak
10
97
364
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
16 days
Unaenda kuficha avocado yako mahali unapata zingine mbili zimefichwa hapo ....
88
152
374
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Iyo call unajiambia upige ya mwisho ikae tu. Utawaamsha waongee vibaya kukuhusu na waende round ingine😂😂lala tu
72
131
370
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Kuna miaka unafikisha unaacha mambo na goals na ambitions unaanza kupambana na maisha vile inakuja
78
139
363
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Badala mtu akuambie tu vizuri umerudia nguo anasema "nilivyoona tu hio shati nikajua tu ni wewe" 😂😂
95
125
350
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
17 days
Mimi ntakupea fast replies ...Masaa ya kupimana ego ndio hakuna bana
83
140
348
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
I was at A shop then there was this Lady staring at me as if she had never seen someone tasting Sprite and putting it back in the Fridge 😂😂
105
141
335
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Wale mlikuwa mnaandika Topic na biro ya Red ,Sub Topic na Black notes na blue hope mlipata Kazi huko Dura Coat 😂😂
94
56
341
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Ways to stop mastarbeshon.... 1:- Ukiskia mtu ameunganisha wakenya,,,usifuatilie kujua ni nani ana kuona hiyo fideo Class d!smissed tutaendelea kesho
99
128
325
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
kwa matanga ukikaa huko nyuma ndio utajua nini ilimaliza marehemu,huko mbele ni sifa tu😅
95
137
328
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Ameniambia akitoka kanisa anaenda kwa antie yake.......
92
113
327
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
29 days
Ukivunjwa moyo hio feeling hukukujia ukiosha vyombo unaanza kuongelesha sahani na vikombe 😂
90
58
329
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Kama ni pesa nikonazo ..Shida tu ni hapo kwa amount! 😂
90
85
319
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
21 days
Apologize to a body part you have over-used 😂
124
128
316
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 years
Geographians in my TL, what could be the reason is it mountain mounting in my house?
Tweet media one
76
78
289
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Umewai ambiwa u are my world ama wewe ni sub - county 😂😂
85
72
312
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
3 months
Maandamano Kila. Mtu alikuwa anaenda kwa sababu zake bana Zimmerman Mirema 1st if August Kikuyus Thika Mombasa Road Miss SA
21
154
307
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Mapenzi ya plot huanza na kuombana nini ....
107
118
307
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Unacheka vile Manchester wamegongwa na tangu Friday umekuwa ukigongewa. Hata sahi hachukui calls zako🤣🤣
81
134
306
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 years
Niko na meme moja Kali but inaeza nipeleka kamiti.
74
133
281
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
It's only in Kenya that when you Lend someone Money, you have to explain to them why you need it back .
95
61
304
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
4 months
Nowadays prostitution and relationships seem the same thing because money is constant. Which Kenyans in Nairobi CBD can do this ? But Tanzanians are vocalising prostitution... Joho Yvonne Mashirima Check thread 👇
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
5
74
286
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
16 days
Unapost another day to chase the bag alf unaamka kusikia ngoma 😂😂
88
129
288
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
13 days
Ushawai jiuliza ni mbona ukiingia kwa choo lazima uturn kuangalia mlango 🤭
76
103
290
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
My neighbor came home drunk and he spent 2 hrs knocking his own door and yet he lives alone.. Should I tell him that he is not around 😂😂
101
131
284
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
They need to add an extra day between Saturday and Sunday...
95
143
283
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
11 days
Hii course nafanya nataka nigraduate kwanza alafu Sasa ndio niisomee pole pole ndio niilew vizuri
73
117
301
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
3 months
Siri ya kumaintain viatu ni kukuwa nazo mingi 😂
84
136
276
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Apart from "Dating Wrong People" what's your other talent?
105
136
276
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
26 days
Saa hii kuna bae wa mtu ameamshwa alimwe proper halafu baadaye afue, aoshe na apewe fare arudi kwa the love of their life. Hii Kenya kila mtu anateseka.
90
116
274
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
16 days
Unajaribu kupima kiatu tao unakumbuka socks ni chafu una abort mission 😂😂
74
109
278
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 years
Reasons why men live longer than women but they are fewer THREAD 👇 1.
Tweet media one
37
102
248
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
When you convince your boss it's a two person job ,so you can hang out with your friend>>>
89
124
263
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Kukula maini ndio uconfuse pombe itachoma liver Gani is an underrated skill 😂
29
106
259
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
My Ex Girlfriend is getting married and I will be the DJ. I can't wait to play our WhatsApp Voice Notes 😂😂
102
53
260
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
A torn underwear is removed together with a trouser... ~ Tanzanians proverb ~
88
45
258
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
1 month
Maisha ikiwa ngumu achana nayo na ufanye shughuli ingine😂😂
88
51
258
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
20 days
Kuwa bachelor ni ngori, unaweza jipata na pegs kwa mfuko tao 😂😂
78
107
258
@hozambeeKE
HOZAMBEE
2 months
Unataka nikuambie unachezwa ndio mkirudiana muambiane vile Nikona wivu 😂😂
94
128
248