HOZAMBEE
@hozambeeKE
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When I was in Form 2, I got suspended for fighting with a certain boy at school. My dad was really strict, and I had no idea what he would do if he found out I’d been suspended. I went to my uncle’s place and lied that I was sick.
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Siku hizi ukiamka tu kukojoa kwisha wewe ,ukirudi ni msongo wa mawazo mpaka che! 😂
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Two Rules of a business..
- Usikule Customer
- Usikule Stock
😂😂
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Tuelewane one thing, ukitembelea
mtu Kwa bedsitter kwanza kunia
kwako.
By management😂
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Ile mkate wazazi wetu walikuwa wanakuja nayo jioni wakitoka Kazi nimeiheshimu zaidi😭
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Mimi saa hizi labda niumwe umwe kama zile battery za remote ndio nipate energy ya kuanzisha relationship ingine😂😂
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Kuishi pekee yako hufanya msee anakuwa so lazy ....Mimi Huwa napika nikianza kutetemeka 😂
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Hii Nairobi Kama hujawai itiwa Job ukajikuta unahudhuria mkutano ya GNLD , AIM Global na network marketing , Bado Hujafikiwa ...Siku yako inakuja 😂😂
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Nikama tulikuwa tunaandika our future kwa Insha "Alitafta Kazi kwa Udi na Uvumba Lakini aliambulia patupu ." 😂😂
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Unajua tu vizuri kwenu wewe ndio tegemeo na hutaki kuvaa Condom ..
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As a Kenyan for now
1. Try not to fall sick.
2. Don't let anything happen to your phone.
3. Drink plenty water and eat healthy.
4. Don't make a woman pregnant
5. Avoid trouble will land you in police station.
6. Read number 4 again.
7. Try to read number 4 again
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Nani ako na mahindi gorogoro mbili nimpee woofer,,,, I will not eat music🙄💔
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I wonder who told African taxi driver na wasee wa nduthi that the perfect time to buy fuel ni after umeload customer 😂
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Leo nimekula samaki na mkate nikajua mbona watu wa Bibilia walibakisha 😂
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Watu wa duka mnasurvive aje, mkate unakula 2bob!!!? Na kiberiti nayo wooi!!! Na Bado mtu anakopa na anatoroka😂😂
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Unaenda kugotea morio wako unapata manzi yako akipika pilau ....Sheree inaanza 😂
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Dem anakulalia vizuri kwa kifua alafu tumbo inaamua kukua Studio ...Wah 😂
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Tuko kwa chief tunaskiza kesi ya kevoh...Dame wake amejifungua twins na Kevoh anasema moja sio wake
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Ile siku utapatwa ukinyonga ndio utajua mnyonge Hana haki 😂😂
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Morio akisha Smash dem , Relationship hubaki imeshikilia na dem
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Ushago Unaamka asubui unapata shosh amefungia kuku na earphones zako 😂😂
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I think part of growing up is not upgrading your phone unless you need to 😂
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I still don't know why people keep quiet in the exam room when the question clearly says discuss.
😂😂
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Ka inahusu kusikia poa usiogope kutoa pesa juu ingekuwa ni ugonjwa ungetoa kusema ukweli .Usijikazie ....
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My mom visited my hostel where I shared a 2 bedroom house with a female student. Mom invited my roommate for lunch with us which she obliged.
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Nairobi CBD bei ya kila kitu ni mia, inadepend umeskia mia mara ngapi 😂😂.
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Before you go to Xvideos try to visit girls in Team Kenya .Will you Smash or pass these ones ?
Check Thread for Kisii babe🔥
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Mpaka wa Leo sijai elewa mbona fundi wa simu huwa anajificha akitengeneza simu🤔😂
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Hii Tabia ya mnapigana ukipigwa Unasema umeendea panga unakosa kurudi,Tuwache😂😭🤌🏿
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Will the apex court rule in favour of William Ruto and the entire Kenya Kwanza team?
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Nimeona hii shirt nikajua tu ni wewe 😂Hii ni madharau imeenda group of schools. Ni gani ingine unajua
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Living alone is crazy,you can go 7hrs without saying a single word🙂
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Hakuna pain kama Ile you getting older but not getting taller 😂😂
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Unakosa kuongelesha dem wako mwaka moja na nusu anadhani mmewachana, ati alishamove on …. Mnakuwaga petty sana 😂
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Pesa nayo tutatafta mshangae , anyway Kuna mtu anaeza niokolea 70 😂
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Imagine 7 billion people on earth and God sees every move you make ,But it was only 2 in the garden of Eden God asked Adam "where are you"
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Unaomba hustle zijipe alafu unarudi unajikunjia kwa duvet ukiwatch series the whole day 😂😂
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Ni trick Gani ushai conniwa nayo hadi ukasema wewe si mjanja...
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Lakini Madem hutoa wapi Fare wakiskia Chali ako na Dem mwengine..😄😄😄
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Lakini ukitaka kujua Siri za Bibi yako muite tu bibi ya jirani yako Malaya 😂
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Job stress can make you do strange things . Ushai fanya nini kwa kazi ukajua hauko sawa ...
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Ati Leave him he will come back .Yaani unafikiria unadate mtu wa Kenya Power 😂😂
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The worst you can do as a man marrying a short woman, kanakasirika kanakuuma magoti 😂😂
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Kama uko na certificate ya highjump ya high school…na Unaweza ona usiku vizuri niDm.
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Not all girls want money some girls just want your hood and airpods 😂
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SO THERE IS THIS GIRL, we have been smashing for like one year but hatujawai date though of late she has been pressuring me alot tudate na sijui how to tell her since am not interested na sitaki kumhurt juu anaeza ni expose and worst of it ni course mate. THREAD how we met.......
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Unaenda kuficha avocado yako mahali unapata zingine mbili zimefichwa hapo ....
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Iyo call unajiambia upige ya mwisho ikae tu. Utawaamsha waongee vibaya kukuhusu na waende round ingine😂😂lala tu
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Kuna miaka unafikisha unaacha mambo na goals na ambitions unaanza kupambana na maisha vile inakuja
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Badala mtu akuambie tu vizuri umerudia nguo anasema "nilivyoona tu hio shati nikajua tu ni wewe" 😂😂
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Mimi ntakupea fast replies ...Masaa ya kupimana ego ndio hakuna bana
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I was at A shop then there was this Lady staring at me as if she had never seen someone tasting Sprite and putting it back in the Fridge 😂😂
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Wale mlikuwa mnaandika Topic na biro ya Red ,Sub Topic na Black notes na blue hope mlipata Kazi huko Dura Coat 😂😂
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Ways to stop mastarbeshon....
1:- Ukiskia mtu ameunganisha wakenya,,,usifuatilie kujua ni nani ana kuona hiyo fideo
Class d!smissed tutaendelea kesho
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kwa matanga ukikaa huko nyuma ndio utajua nini ilimaliza marehemu,huko mbele ni sifa tu😅
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Ukivunjwa moyo hio feeling hukukujia ukiosha vyombo unaanza kuongelesha sahani na vikombe 😂
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Geographians in my TL, what could be the reason
is it mountain mounting in my house?
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Maandamano Kila. Mtu alikuwa anaenda kwa sababu zake bana
Zimmerman Mirema 1st if August Kikuyus Thika Mombasa Road Miss SA
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Unacheka vile Manchester wamegongwa na tangu Friday umekuwa ukigongewa. Hata sahi hachukui calls zako🤣🤣
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It's only in Kenya that when you Lend someone Money, you have to explain to them why you need it back .
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Nowadays prostitution and relationships seem the same thing because money is constant. Which Kenyans in Nairobi CBD can do this ? But Tanzanians are vocalising prostitution...
Joho Yvonne Mashirima
Check thread 👇
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Unapost another day to chase the bag alf unaamka kusikia ngoma 😂😂
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Ushawai jiuliza ni mbona ukiingia kwa choo lazima uturn kuangalia mlango 🤭
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My neighbor came home drunk and he spent 2 hrs knocking his own door and yet he lives alone.. Should I tell him that he is not around 😂😂
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They need to add an extra day between Saturday and Sunday...
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Hii course nafanya nataka nigraduate kwanza alafu Sasa ndio niisomee pole pole ndio niilew vizuri
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Apart from "Dating Wrong People" what's your other talent?
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Saa hii kuna bae wa mtu ameamshwa alimwe proper halafu baadaye afue, aoshe na apewe fare arudi kwa the love of their life. Hii Kenya kila mtu anateseka.
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Unajaribu kupima kiatu tao unakumbuka socks ni chafu una abort mission 😂😂
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Reasons why men live longer than women but they are fewer
THREAD 👇
1.
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When you convince your boss it's a two person job ,so you can hang out with your friend>>>
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Kukula maini ndio uconfuse pombe itachoma liver Gani is an underrated skill 😂
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My Ex Girlfriend is getting married and I will be the DJ. I can't wait to play our WhatsApp Voice Notes 😂😂
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A torn underwear is removed together with a trouser...
~ Tanzanians proverb ~
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Kuwa bachelor ni ngori, unaweza jipata na pegs kwa mfuko tao 😂😂
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Unataka nikuambie unachezwa ndio mkirudiana muambiane vile Nikona wivu 😂😂
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