Helen Clarkson
@helenrclarkson
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Theatre/Film/TV Agent at Curtis Brown
London
Joined January 2009
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There is a drunk woman on the tube throwing After Eights at everyone and, in the most British way possible, everyone is pretending they aren’t being hit on the head by tiny chocolatey squares (which hurts by the way) and not looking at anyone else in the eye.
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Today my Grandma’s carer left a note for my Mum to say “she is tired this morning due to staying up late watching Glastonbury.”
My Grandma turns 97 on Thursday ❤️
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I ran to a bus stop the other day at around 10.30pm and I knocked on the drivers door which had just closed and he still drove off... I doubt many are going to stop for me waving at them from a pavement.
Met Police issues advice to women to ‘shout or wave a bus down’ if they don’t trust a male officer
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The most heart-tugging goodbye (for 8 days whilst I go to NYC) to the dog who hasn’t left my side since May 2020. 💔😭
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OKAY. 🎭 Listen up! I’m calling on the ENTIRE theatre community and industry to pick up the phone and 📞 VOTE 📞 for our brilliant
@LaytonWilliams
tonight. He has showed up every week despite so much being thrown at him online and brought joy & inspiration to millions. ✨🪩✨
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Got ID’d in
@waitrose
buying elderflower gin and peonies. Didn’t have any ID. Ended up shouting, “WHO UNDER 18 YEARS OLD BUYS PEONIES AND ELDERFLOWER GIN? ITS QUITE CLEAR I AM HURTLING TOWARDS 30 AT INCREASING SPEED.”
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Okay, everyone. 👏🏼 Mask-up, ventilate the rooms, keep your distance and test more than ever. If you contract COVID in the next few days then the likelihood is you will test positive from Tuesday onwards and there goes your Christmas… 🎄
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Go to gigs. Go to the theatre. Go to concerts. Go to galleries. Go to festivals. See your heroes while you can.
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What would be the British version of an EGOT? Perhaps an NTA, Olivier, BAFTA and a Brit Award? A NOBB?
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When an actor has to do a scene in tap shoes without revealing that there’s a big tap number after it
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I have a huge issue with the word “difficult” - it is usually a word coined with females in this biz and, most of the time, it is purely a woman who stands and speaks up for herself in a room where there is a male who does not like being spoken to in a certain way by women.
Do well-known theatre 'names' have an unfair reputation for diva-esque behaviour? Stage manager Katie Jackson (
@k_jacksonface
) thinks so – she says most are a joy to work with
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London’s empty West End. Never thought there would be a day that I miss the slow-walking tourists.
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Stop inviting them. Stop quoting them. Tell the editors their critic is not welcome in your theatres. Their “outrage” at the progression we are making in the industry reminds us both of how far we have come and how far we’ve got to go.
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Does anyone really panic when someone is DEEPLY asleep on the tube near them? I always panic they are missing a stop/a job interview/a life changing opportunity and then I remember I’m British so I just stare, spiral into deep thoughts and get off the tube.
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“I think we can all agree I’m the ten amongst these threes.” 👑
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Not an acting resume and headshot in every locker in the Soho House gym. 💀 SHOOT YOUR SHOT, GIRL.
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Did the sun come out for the 11 days that I had COVID? You bet it did. Did the sun go away, the rain come back and the temperature drop 15 degrees when I came out of isolation? Sure thing.
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Her name was Halyna Hutchins.
Alec Baldwin kills woman by firing prop gun on film set of Rust
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Yoga teacher: Whatever you are grateful for. Think of it now. There is no wrong answer.
Me: Pancakes.
Yoga teacher: It could be family, friends, the oxygen we breathe, education, healthcare, your job, your home...
Me: *whispers* Pancakes.
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M&S told me that their meal “served two.”
Tell me about a time someone told you that you could not do something and you went ahead and succeeded out of spite.
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I’m bored of these articles telling me that my generation are useless. Shove off. We’re intelligent, sassy, inventive, politically motivated and bloody hilarious. Oh, and I spent most of my day reading.
“What is millennial culture? There’s no writing. None of them read books” -
@BretEastonEllis
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👇🏽♥️ So proud of
@CarrieHFletcher
. (Side note - I do usually CALL people when they have jobs but I was stuck in bed with no voice! 😂)
I've written a little blog about my audition for Fantine! ❤️
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@CelindeSchoen
@EvaNoblezada
I went viral and I forgot to eat any pancakes and I have no valentine
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I saw restaurant owners desperately standing at their doors, looking out on to empty streets and theatres without queues. The fact the government have basically called for everyone to stay at home without the financial support for these places… is unforgivable.
London’s empty West End. Never thought there would be a day that I miss the slow-walking tourists.
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Saying it once more for the people in the back -
@CelindeSchoen
is a goddess and we are lucky to have her in our industry. Her love and support for her friends/colleagues is unwavering. ♥️
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@CarrieHFletcher
That’s true. 😂 Never forget: “Carrie, you have been offered Wednesday Addams... Carrie?........Carrie? Are you still there?”
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It's FINALLY the Frozen press night and I'd like to do a shout out to all the agents on the Frozen email thread. 18 months. What a journey. ❄️
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📣 JOB OPPORTUNITY 📣
@aldog3000
and I are looking for a full-time assistant to join our team & busy office at Curtis Brown. Come and work with us! We are fun! 👏🏼 Please RT if you can & spread the word. Full job description and details 👉🏻
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One of my favourite things is getting home after the theatre and having a late-night cup of tea with hot buttery toast curled up with the dog in silence.
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This is unacceptable on all accounts but even more so on the tube where the trains pretty much run every 4 minutes.
Why do some people get so angry?
This guy may have forgotten what he said by the time he got on the tube, but it ruined my day. You can hear in my voice just how stressed I was.
I’d never endanger
@Kika_GuideDog
or myself by attempting to move on an escalator.
Please, be kind
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#CatsAgainstBrexit
is the best hashtag I've ever seen and one I already had photos prepared for, worryingly.
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So frustrating when you find out, through social media, the outcome of a job you applied for.
Queen grants Prince Edward title of Earl of Forfar to mark his birthday
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Uber driver: Do you mind if I call my girlfriend?
Me: Course not. Call away.
Uber driver: Thank you. So kind. I just want to be respectful.
*car phone ringing*
Irate girlfriend: WHAT THE F I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO U AGAIN
Uber Driver: I SAID I WAS SORRY OK WHAT MORE CAN I DO.
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Found myself complaining (heavily) about the tax man this morning but got reminded that tax is paying for my Dad’s (and many others) cancer treatment. All hail the NHS, pay your goddamn taxes and call out/bring down the twazzocks that don’t pay theirs. 🙌🏼
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I would like to confirm to all actors everywhere that I have seen the Prince of Egypt announcement.
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So... this happened today at
@MrJasonRBrown
’s concert. Hilarious.
@racheltucker1
. Like agent, like client. 😂♥️
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This morning’s office. I’m getting a sneaky listen to
@CarrieHFletcher
’s album and it is SO BEAUTIFUL MY EARS ARE MELTING WITH JOY. 😍
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This is amazing. 🙌🏻 So many actors try to hide their MT credits when trying to do more screen work like it’s a dirty secret and “uncool” that they can sing & dance. It’s totally unnecessary. You can do both and celebrate both. Like this. 👇🏼
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Go on,
@HairsprayLondon
. Lead from the front!
Tonight
@HairsprayLondon
reopens after 2 weeks with 12 new off site company members and a team of 2nd covers throughout the cast to prevent any further closure. This on top of their 8 resident swings!
Best wishes to them and the 2nd covers for their rehearsals ⭐️
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Incredibly thrilled, surprised and honoured (and feeling like a total imposter) to have been made an Associate (ARAM) this year. Thank you,
@RoyalAcadMusic
. ❤️
We're delighted to announce our 2022 honorands, including
@Lin_Manuel
, Semyon Bychkov, Dame Patricia Routledge and Cynthia Erivo.
Read the full announcement here >
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Oof. A tough day in theatre land. Sending love to those who got bad news today. I’m having a martini. Onwards! ❤️
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ELLEN 👏🏼 FREAKING 👏🏼 KANE
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Insanely proud of everything that
@CarrieHFletcher
is achieving at the moment. Read this with your Sunday coffee! ☕️
http://t.co/VIbUwnegpL
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Chopped off my hair and it wasn’t because a man pissed me off. Growth.
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Tonight
@CarrieHFletcher
texted me the sentence "I'm just about to go get deaded now."
#stageytexts
#'ponine
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My Grandma, who now struggles to remember what she ate for breakfast and born in 1926 like the Queen, is telling my Mum about when her Mum came into her bedroom to tell her that George V died in 1936. ♥️
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This made my night! Thank you to the BSL interpreters
@OlivierAwards
for doing your job with so much sass and great moves. 🙌🏼
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A nice warm welcome to Greece from the driver who picked me up at the airport -
“Helen! You have the name of a Greek but the complexion of a ghost. Don’t go in the sun.”
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Sent this text last week after I’d laughed off the first pass, then he tried again..and again… despite me being clearly uncomfortable and he just didn’t stop. Didn’t even think about it until today as we’re so conditioned to think that these situations are normal.
#ProtectWomen
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I see you,
@CarrieHFletcher
, on the
@TheStage
100 most influential people in UK theatre list! 💪🏼✨
#TheStage100
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The streets of Central London are eerie, quiet and...
Horses: MORNING EVERYONE!! WE ARE HERE! CARRY ON! HELLO! AS YOU WERE!
Tourists: WTF
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.
@OceanWestEnd
is just incredible. I have never been so moved in a theatre. I sobbed. I laughed. I gasped. Absolute theatrical magic. See this production. So proud of
@katyrudd
,
@DownToTheWyer
&
@laurendevans
. 💙
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Remembering spending lockdown alone in my flat in May 2020, a few months after the death of my Dad and how much I would have loved to have seen my friends in a group with a bottle of wine…
NEW: Downing Street staff and Boris Johnson pictured drinking wine in the No 10 garden last May when the rest of the country was limited to meeting just one other person socially outdoors.
Via
@guardian
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CARLY 👏🏼 MERCEDES 👏🏼 DYER 👏🏼
OLIVIER NOMINEE! 😭 So proud of you,
@CarlyMDyer
.
#OlivierAwards
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People embraced Nazanin when it was the story of a Mummy going home to her little girl but as soon as she also owned a press conference, had a voice, stood for no BS, and became a powerful woman…people didn’t like it! Funny that.
#SpeakUP
#NazaninIsFree
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A DOG JUST GOT ON MY TUBE BY ITSELF, CASUALLY SAT DOWN FOR TWO STOPS LIKE HE'D HAD A LONG DAY AT THE DOG OFFICE AND GOT OFF.
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GUYS.
@MrJasonRBrown
’s ‘Friday Night is Music Night’ starring
@racheltucker1
,
@BetsyWolfe
&
@normlewis777
with the
@BBCCO
is on
@BBCRadio2
at 8pm this Friday 1st June! Tune IN! 📻🎙🎶
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So in awe of
@EvaNoblezada
as she performs her final show in Miss Saigon today after an incredible few years. It’s been such a pleasure to watch you grow into the headstrong & kickass woman you are today. The future is BRIGHT. 🌟
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Me to dog: *offering bottled evian on a walk* Water?
Dog: 😑
Filthy puddle to dog: Water?
Dog: 😋
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Sad news. Middle-class children will seamlessly switch to iPlayer but this leaves some lower-income families who may not have the luxury of high-speed internet that is fit for streaming in the dirt. CBBC is a lifeline to so many families.
CBBC isn't closing. For at least 3 years it will remain as a linear channel. As our audience move more towards digital we will transition CBBC to iPlayer.
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Sandi is home! It’s been quite a time for Team Toksvig but very grateful for the care she received in Australia. And now…. Rest! ❤️
@Taffyagent
,
@jess_emolloy
,
@aldog3000
Thanks to my beloved wife, I’m back home in time for Christmas. Best present ever!
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That stunned silence after telling someone they've got a dream job? ITS WHAT KEEPS AGENTS GOING AND WHAT RUNS THROUGH OUR VEINS. This video and THIS SHOW 👇🏽
A STRANGE LOOP has found its Usher! Introducing Jaquel Spivey who is making his professional debut in this Broadway-bound musical. Michael R. Jackson's Pulitzer-winning production also features original cast members Antwayn Hopper, James Jackson Jr., L Morgan Lee,
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👩🏻🎓 *Alexa play Legally Blonde’s Find my Way/Finale.* Today I became an Associate of the Royal Academy of Music. So proud to be a
@RoyalAcadMusic
alumni and some my best memories are from my time there.
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I can’t even imagine what it would feel like if St Paul’s Cathedral was destroyed. My heart goes out to Paris. ♥️
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Today I would like to remind you of the importance of eyebrows.
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La La Land is one of the greatest movie musicals. Don’t @ me.
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Two years ago today there was a viral WhatsApp about someone’s friend-of-a friend who was high up in the British Army warning us there were tanks on the M25 and London was about to be closed to the rest of the UK. Happy memories. ❤️
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Tonight our
@oliviamooree
went on as Veronica in
@HeathersMusical
and
@JenniferSaayeng
went on as Bobbie in
@CompanyWestEnd
. Understudies rock. ♥️
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Waitrose, Shepherd’s Bush.
Woman to boyfriend: “I DID YOUR HANNUKAH THING, YOU CAN DO MY LADIES NIGHT.”
#OverheardinLondon
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I just picked up an orange San Pellegrino at the shop and the person behind me in the queue called it a Tory Fanta. 💀🪦
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The Curtis Brown Group
@TheCBG_
was all over the Met Gala last night and all over the Sondheim Gala tonight and that is precisely why I work there. 😍
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Nothing more satisfying than the tube doors opening on a key change.
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If taking off a bra on public transport without anybody noticing was an Olympic sport, I would be a champion.
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Hooray! Our brilliant
@MucyLoss
to direct and
#EllenKane
to choreograph
#LegallyBlonde
at
@OpenAirTheatre
next year 👇🏽✨
Omigod you guys, the rumours were true! Opening our 2022 season is the musical,
#LegallyBlonde
. And directing is the fabulous
@MucyLoss
, co-writer/co-director of
@SixTheMusical
. It's time to
#BendAndSnap
, people!
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I don’t want to think about the replacement but, if he does go today, I will just be so relieved that it will officially be the end of the Trump and Boris era. The era so many of us dreaded.
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I’m currently in one of my top 10 baths. I can see the night sky through a skylight, it’s raining, the bath is egg-shaped, the temperature is perfect, and I’m in the middle of the Yorkshire countryside. Felt like you should all know.
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Licked what I thought was chocolate off my finger. Nope. Dog food. How’s your Monday going?
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In case you wondered how I was doing, I decided to try sleeping with my phone on the other side of the room as we needed some space and I just waved at it from my bed and I’m now tweeting about it from my laptop.
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Trainer: Punch out your anger today! What do you get angry about!?
Me (between punches): Getting 🥊 A 🥊 Child 🥊 Performing 🥊 License 🥊 For 🥊 A 🥊 Readthrough!
Trainer: ....
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Dropping a grapefruit on the Hammersmith and City Line is not fun. It goes a LONG way down the carriages. People practically egged it on its little journey down the tube and watched me struggle. FFS GUYS.
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