Andrea Heinz
@heinzsight2020
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Commercial Sexual Exploitation Activist. 7 yrs in prostitution (2006-2013). Executive Producer of @LabeledDoc . Co-author of @whenmenbuysex . Ⓥegan. Runner.
Treaty 6 land (Edmonton, AB)
Joined June 2020
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You haven’t witnessed horror until you’ve seen a pregnant woman in prostitution.
Women 8 months pregnant going into a room with man after man - creepy men with pregnancy & lactating fetishes.
No one believed “sex work is work” in those moments. It made it too real to distort.
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Being in the sex industry forever immortalizes women w/ a label that precedes everything else about them.
You will never again be seen as your authentic self, rather a “P*rn Star” first and foremost.
Emily Willis has been exited for nearly 2 yrs. She will never be freed though.
P*rn star Emily Willis has woken up from her coma after suffering a cardiac arrest.
Her father told TMZ she is still in a “Vegetative state” after waking up from coma, he says; she can track things with her eyes, smile & register emotions in conversations.
The heartbreaking
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And what about the many male students who subscribe to OnlyFans pages?
Oh right, we don’t talk about them.
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@KatyMontgomerie
Pretty sure all that swearing and aggression was noticed by that child more than the girl’s swimsuit.
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Male violence against women in sexual(ized) “jobs” is commonplace - from the most subtle of acts (like this) to the most extreme (murder).
There is no genuine respect or power to be had in these situations for women.
An Iranian MMA fighter kicked a girl in the ring because “he felt offended by her clothing”.
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I didn’t have sex with men for money. Men paid money to do sexual acts to my body. A body completely dissociated from my mind.
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Today marks 10yrs that I’ve been out of prostitution.
For the last 2yrs I was active I believed I’d only ever be able to exit the sex industry through suicide.
I’d like to say I am now fully “healed”, but I’m not.
Not sure we ever get there 100%.
I’m grateful though.
Truly. ❤️
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Today marks 8 years since the last time I traded sex for money.
In 2012 I was traumatized, depressed, & fantasizing about suicide.
Today I am married with 3 children, a published scholar, & a straight-A student finishing a degree.
Things can change & become beautiful. ❤️❤️
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Today I lost a friend of 15 years who called me “homophobic” for saying sexualized drag performances are not appropriate for children.
(Sexualized performances of ANY kind really).
Honestly not sure what has become of this world. I don’t fit into it anymore…
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90% of sex buyers come faster when they see the woman wince or recoil. Softly saying “oww, ouch” was a strategy we’d use to get them to finish & get off of us.
It’s laughable when people say that johns (at large) pay for “intimacy” & “human connection”.
They pay to dominate.
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The best advice I can give to young women is to spend time with intelligent & confident women who are 2-3x your age.
Once I entered my thirties I began sitting at tables with feminists in their 60s & 70s, and my entire life changed; everything for the better.❤️
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@MrAndyNgo
@Coach
@StandingforXX
Until
@Coach
publicly denounces violence against women and dissolves their partnership with this person I will never buy another one of their products & will encourage all the women in my life to do the same.
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90% of my time in prostitution was spent telling & reassuring men that I was happy- choosing to be there so as to absolve them of their guilt.
Carefully crafted stories, responses, & marketing tactics.
The other 10% of the time was the sexual stuff.
The lie is what men pay for.
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@lindsay_dawn_
Women being economically reliant on men makes us vulnerable to control & abuse. Women fought to be able to work so we could have economic power & freedom to leave domestic arrangements/relationships if need be & survive independently of men.❤️ Lots of abusive bfs/husbands sadly…
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An arranged marriage to a 40 year-old man.
The rage I feel when I see these videos is indescribable. 😡😡
No woman is free until all women are free.
🇧🇩 | ¡TERRIBLE!: Momento en que una menor musulmana en Bangladesh es obligada por su madre y su padre a firmar un contrato de boda, con un hombre de 40 años.
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The amount of male violence women in prostitution experience is unfathomable to most people.
When not being subjected to a sex buyer’s abuse, many women are abused by a pimp and/or men of the general public.
The entire prostitution experience is characterized by male violence.
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When I was selling sex men would take me on trips; staying at luxurious hotels, eating at the fanciest restaurants, shopping & day spa treatments.
Not a moment of it was ever enjoyable though because I knew what was to come after - the part where I had to let them rape my body.
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Ok, but if I’m being totally honest… Sometimes in these situations I wonder if the men truly care this strongly about women’s safety, or if they’re simply taking advantage of the opportunity to participate in socially acceptable violence.
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Yesterday marked 11 years since the last time I sold my body to a man to use for sex.
It’s the first time that the date passed unnoticed - a sign of deeper healing I think.
Feels that way at least.
Life is good.
Grateful for the journey to here and now. ❤️🙂
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Remember that there is what men see in a brothel:
• “consent”
• women “desiring” them
• “empowerment”
and then there’s what women experience in a brothel:
• trauma
• dissociation
• fear
• depression
• eroded self-worth
• sexual violence
• suicide ideation
• despair
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In only 5hrs at a library today I saw 2 men surfing xxx photos and videos in front of everyone there.
The world is porn sick.
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“Not all sex buyers are men”
Ok, but in 7 yrs & 4300+ “sessions” I was never contacted by any women besides those who’d msg me because their husbands insisted they go “find a 3rd”.
Those women told me they didn’t want to participate but felt pressured into it - scared to say no.
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I spent 3 or 4 Christmas Days selling sex in the brothels. Owners always encouraged us to stay open since “some men will be alone & sad”.
I’m thinking of the women there today. 💔
Very grateful to be spending Christmas with my family. Wishing you all a wonderful holiday season!
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What was very sad was that many sellers would shame the woman & try to drive her out of the brothel. They’d call her selfish/a bad mother.
I believe it was because having her there made the exploitation by johns too obvious & women couldn’t accept seeing the universal reality.
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I realized it wasn’t “owning my sexuality” by letting nearly any stranger with $300 purchase it.
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People will usually always support “sex work” because they’re shielded from it.
But once you watch repulsive 50+ year old men coerce impoverished 18 year olds into private rooms to touch them against their will time after time again, you can’t stay in a state of ignorant bliss.
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To the women I “employed” at my brothel, I am so sorry.
To all the gfs/wives of the men I had sex with, & all the women in family units with men who I took family unit funds from, I am so sorry.
To the women I impacted culturally by saying “sex work is work”, I am so sorry.
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Physically touched our book for the first time this morning…
It all feels a bit more real now. 🙂
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How is this the world we live in that there are “men” that do this, and other “men” somehow laugh & see it as justified??!
Although it’s an unfortunate & extreme response, I can understand why the push for female separatism exists.
Women aren’t safe. 💔
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Attention Libfems: Trading blowjobs for cash isn’t the flex on patriarchy that you think it is.
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@lindsay_dawn_
It wasn’t a personal attack directed at you. Happy all is good for you but many women aren’t as fortunate. Some women don’t even get to choose their husband.
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After a lot of time & consideration, I have decided to delete my Twitter account. I plan to continue doing advocacy, but not on social media platforms.
I want to thank you all so very much.
I don’t have enough kind words/regards to extend your way.
All the best to everyone. ❤️
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@SashaMizaree
Since exiting I have given tens of thousands of dollars (of my own “square” job earnings) to women directly in prostitution.
$15,000 for a targeted bursary in 2021. (Funds were later redirected to a credit repair program for sellers w/ debts).
I don’t just post on Twitter.
Thank you to
@ceasenow
for partnering with me for administration & disbursement.
Anyone wishing to contribute to this bursary fund (or any of the wonderful programs offered by CEASE) can donate here:
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I was a grocery store cashier for years before landing in the sex trade.
The male customers at Save-on-Foods never slapped me unexpectedly, never called me a “good little whore”, never followed me home from work & never left with a tiny piece of my soul from the transaction.
“Sex workers sell their bodies” you developed arthritis from standing up all day at your cashier job that pays you $7.50 please humble yourself
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This is what results when we decriminalize coerced sex & male sexual entitlement - a normative effect that numbs the social conscience & dehumanizes women down to import goods.
It’s usually more subtle, but here it is blatantly in our faces this time.
Vile is an understatement.
THE SOURCE: They’re every bit as adept as doctors and dentists in their chosen field, and now one man is on a quest to have sex workers included in Australia’s skilled migration policy >
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We need an immediate ban on men doing “art”.
(“Obsession” by Di Stefano).
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Had I known the incredible magnitude of female solidarity, & support that awaited me after exiting the commercial sex trade I may have had the courage to attempt leaving sooner than I did.
Walking with women has taken me much further than kneeling before men ever did.
#NotWork
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On Consent:
4300+ x men gave me $ for sex.
Not a single one asked “do you consent/want to have sex with me?” BEFORE the “session”.
Those men didn’t ask us about our autonomy level.
Consent is ASSUMED because of our being found in a brothel/hotel & is a piss poor indicator.
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Ya, about that tweet…
- The entire prostitution industry operates on bribed/coerced “sex”.
- Coerced sex is “sex” without genuine sexual consent.
- Non-consensual sex is rape.
- Sex buyers are rapists.
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I dissociated during sex acts with johns because they were inside my body, making it the last place that I wanted to be. There wasn’t room for us both.
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Playboy has “zero tolerance for hate speech”. 🤔
Pretty comical considering that’s actually *everything* they are about.
Pornography is hate speech against women.
Breaking:
Playboy FIRES Porn Star Mia Khalifa for her shocking praise of Hamas executing Israeli police and civilians.
In a statement emailed to all Playboy members subscribed to the companies newsletter, the magazine said they will ‘terminate Playboy’s relationship with Mia
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If there’s one thing I can tell you after “entertaining” thousands of men for money it’s that 99% of them are terrible in bed.
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Every morning I wake up in my own bed I am happy I no longer have to wake up in a hotel room beside a sex buyer who only allowed me 2hrs of sleep the night before because he wanted “value for his money.”
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@lgbtqnation
Women have had enough of being expected (forced) to compromise ourselves when in our most vulnerable moments/states.
There should be appreciation that it’s only justice being sought and not revenge.
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No. We fear prostitution because of the risk of choking, stalking, & homicide that women face every time their body is rented by some random (creepy) man bringing his “Customer is King” attitude.
Most women care about the wellbeing of other women & don’t want that life for them.
@evristainted
Women fear prostitution because it takes away from them the only power they have, sex. They want to use it as leverage against men, but if prostitution is legalized they lose this power over men and have to developer other qualities, and women don't want that
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Housing women is so crucial to better protect them from sexual assault.
You will not (easily) find a woman living on the streets who has not experienced sexual violence from men. For many it is a near-daily occurrence.
*Trigger warning* I met a homeless woman who told me she has been raped “many times” on the streets. She said they come to her tent at night and “take turns”. She has called the police but stopped trying when the rapes continued. She doesn’t know if all the men that assault her
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Never trust a female who uses misogynistic slurs.
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One time a sex buyer was verbally degrading me so bad during the “session” I had tears welling up in my eyes. I immediately switched to giving him a blow job so I could disguise my crying as me choking/gagging instead. He loved it & came instantly.
I cried worse after he left.
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There is ALWAYS a link to pornography in these cases.
Always.
A Russian man is on trial for keeping a woman as a sex slave for 14 years in a makeshift dungeon, where he savagely beat her and raped her more than 1,000 times. He is also accused of butchering another woman and forcing the victim to help him dispose of her body.
Vladimir
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One problem with turning sex into “work” is an assertion which always seems to follow:
“No one should be allowed to discriminate in the workplace”
I saw countless johns argue about how sex sellers “should accept every man equally”.
Her sexual consent is disregarded, as usual.
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Some women smoked weed.
Some women drank alcohol.
Some women snorted cocaine.
Some women injected speed.
Some women ingested GHB.
Some women took prescription pills.
Very few women sold sex completely sober.
#NotWork
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Good.
Collapse the entire franchise.
Over 40 Hooters have permanently closed based on "current market conditions" of "under-performance" - Experts are baffled.
Some may say it has something to do with their laser-like focus on a "multicultural strategy" using a well-thought-out "marketing plan" to show their
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No matter how friendly a sex buyer was to me…
No matter where he took me on out “date”…
No matter how much money he spent…
… it never removed the obvious giant elephant in the room:
that I was not there of my genuine free will.
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“B*tch you do OnlyFans… you f*cking degenerate”.
**Built his entire show off women on OnlyFans.**
Women need to stop helping these misogynistic men make $$ by abusing & humiliating us.
It’s secondary exploitation and no fame, followers, or material rewards makes it worth it.
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Men thinking payment justifies sexual assault.
Two men walk behind a woman busking, sexually assault her, call it a joke and then offer her 50p…
97% of women aged 18-24 have been sexually harassed, 96% don’t report because of the belief that it would not change anything.
Men, help change this.
(Credit: Hollymariemusic)
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Sex buyers: “It’s just a job. I’m paying her for a service, that’s all”
Also sex buyers: “She seemed so detached and uninterested”... “The session totally lacked intimacy”...”I felt like just a paycheque to her... 1/5 stars... AVOID fellas”
😑
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When I first exited I remember reading Dworkin saying “no woman gets whole again after…”.
I scoffed at it, having faith that some women fully recover from prostitution.
8 years later I don’t believe that any more. I have never seen it.
I believe now that she was right.
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Now with hyper-sexuality & “sex work” ideology being so common, Madonna is no longer subverting the norm, which is what made her stand out in the early days of her career.
What was once (arguably) a revolutionary act is now a predictable & uncomfortable performance to witness.
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Lots of sex buyers would pick my body apart.
“You should get implants, gain/lose 10lbs, dye your hair, etc”. - almost always done while they were handing me the money after.
Maybe it was entitlement, but I think it was more so to offset their desperate vibe that we both felt.
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Prostitution doesn’t actually help men’s loneliness.
All it does is tell men that they are only worth someone’s time and affection if they are willing to pay money for it.
Once the “session” is over & the dopamine rush subsides, most men feel even worse about themselves after.
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We need a new word for “liberal feminists”.
⬇️
They aren’t feminists.
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And even when you are at your absolute lowest, there will never be an ounce of dignity/compassion afforded to you by the men who benefit from your “services”/“work”.
We are made to believe we are winning while we’re in the industry, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
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“A job like any other”??!
I can assure you that when I worked as a cashier at the grocery store NO person asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity and if I cried and bled when it happened.
In the sex trade they did though, all the while saying “tell me you were 12”.
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I have many regrets from my time in the sex trade, but none so many or severe as the damage I directly and indirectly did to my fellow women.
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While I was in prostitution there were a few men who stood out to me as the type you would *never* expect to be sex buyers - men who carried genuinely kind energy.
Today one of them reached out to me with this message.
Today the work feels a bit more rewarding & worthwhile.💜
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Very emotional day.
In my writing I talk about a boyfriend who severely abused me from ages 16-19.
He was just arrested for the first degree murder of an Indigenous woman & mother to a girl.
When will we acknowledge the degree of MVAW happening in Canada?
Who really cares??!💔
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1 year into selling sex I met a woman in the worst state I ever saw any seller in. Early 20s, addicted to heroin, 4 children & still recovering postpartum. She had hemorrhoids the size of large grapes due to anal prolapse & would push them back inside herself to see sex buyers.
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I’ve had women say to me “I’ve been selling sex for x number of years & I’ve never been assaulted by a buyer” only to tell me years later upon exiting that they had & their views on male violence were distorted because of the environment & lifestyle they were submerged in.
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Honestly, the time before a “session” with a sex buyer was always the worst.
- Fear of the unknown (Who is he? What will he be like once we’re alone in the room?)
- Gut wrenching dread (maybe my 5th, 9th, 12th “customer” of the day).
Once he arrived then it was all auto-pilot.
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No.
It’s a highly gendered practice whereby men use money as a coercive tool to bypass the sexual consent of some of society’s most marginalized people. It’s compensated sexual abuse (being sanitized as labour rather than the human rights violation it actually is).
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In many ways I really detest the age-restriction argument around porn.
It implies that adults are somehow magically spared the effects of consuming media that is largely characterized by sexualized violence.
“No rape videos until you’re 18 Timmy!”
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Life after prostitution is characterized by trying to be present & not dissociate, trying to find joy & see the good in ppl when you’ve seen humanity’s worst, & trying to love yourself & remind yourself that you aren’t any of the things johns & society repeatedly said you were.
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Escorting had a way of f*cking w/ my mind & my self-esteem more than selling sex in a brothel did.
When a man opened the door to his home/hotel room, there was always an unspoken energy that I was akin to a pizza he had just ordered up & I was walking in to be consumed by him.
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It’s nearly 2022 and women’s bodies are still being used for bargaining power. 😡
Barbaric.
Men in Vienna, Austria are being offered a voucher for access to a brothel in exchange for getting a COVID-19 vaccination.
Some reports state Funpalast is also providing men 30 minutes free with the "lady of their choice" if they get the jab.
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“Sessions” in the brothels were usually 60 mins in duration.
There were countless times I saw women stalling in the back room for 10-15 mins trying to “psych themselves up” to enter the room and endure what was to come - desperately trying to burn some of the time off the clock.
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The hygiene of some sex buyers was repulsive, even with a shower before the session.
One trick we commonly employed was “accidentally” spilling massage oil on their genitals just so we had an excuse to get a hot cloth and adequately clean them ourselves.
It felt so degrading.
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“Men don’t pay for sex, they pay you to leave after”.
Right… because women are just DYING to hang out with the men that no woman will have sex with for free.
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Y or N? Can a man ever fully understand what it’s like to be bought for sex?
(One of my closest, most loved male relatives once said to me “I’d sure love to make $300/hr to lay on my back & have fun” right after I shared several traumatic experiences & the impact it had on me.)
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Here it is 2021 and we are STILL debating over whether men should be allowed to buy access to women’s bodies. 😒
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A sex industry survivor recently told me:
“I purposely keep myself overweight so men don’t leer at me in public. The thought of a strange man lusting over my body sickens me now”.
Women will self-harm just to avoid objectification & triggers from being sexually exploited. 💔
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“Many men wanted to lay me down; but few wanted to lift me up”
- Eartha Kitt
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33 yrs ago today, a man entered Polytechnique Montréal and senselessly murdered 14 women.
As a result, this day has been commemorated in Canada as ‘The National Day of Remembrance & Action on Violence Against Women’.
May their deaths not be in vain. 💗
#16DaysOfActivism
#16Days
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“Age is just a number” is the go-to phrase men in their 40s & 50s love to throw around to justify creeping on women in their late teens/early 20s.
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Any time a woman speaks out about reluctantly participating in the sex trade, rest assured that a “happy hooker” will soon appear to discredit her experiences/reflections.
There is no better marketing than that!
Men are desperate to stay in denial about the harm they cause.
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Any man who genuinely loves his partner would never be ok with this, let alone push for this.
Not from an “ownership” standpoint but w/ the understanding that reducing her to a body robs her of her humanity & she is likely to receive verbal & sexual harassment as a result. 👎👎
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Do people in the sex trade deserve compassion, human rights & efforts toward harm reduction?
Absolutely.
Do those things have to come with an acceptance & endorsement of the commercial sex industry?
Absolutely not.
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Once I realized my “empowerment” was a sham & a result of “sex work” brainwashing, I couldn’t be the “happy hooker” as convincingly anymore.
Some men saw through my phoniness & even called me out on it.
Not a single one decided to leave.
They all stayed to have sex with me.
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RIP Larissa Garcia. 🕯️
A link for a GoFundMe is in the article. 💜
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