Hawkgrrrl
@hawkgrrrl
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Saving the world, one pointless act at a time.
Phoenix, AZ
Joined November 2008
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Apparently my mom who is 97 and on in-home hospice has now entered the talking to dead people phase. Given her fraught relationships with all these dead people I feel like tea will be spilled
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@jennalinds
@designmom
Conservative Mormons: It's wrong for the government to tell us what to do! Free agency!! Religious freedom!!!
Also Conservative Mormons: Church leaders literally dictate my underwear choices.
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Daughter's friend to her new BYU-I roommate: Did you just say...? Please, don't say the "n" word. That's not ok.
Roommate: (laughing it off) No, dude, it's no biggie. It's just an Idaho thing.
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Things that make me so happy: I got my 98 YO dad another custom made puzzle from a photo of him & my mom, and he just finished it (despite macular degeneration--he uses a jogger's headlamp).
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So, the good news is that the $1400 out of pocket I paid for the stereotactic breast biopsy was money well spent. The bad news is . . . it was positive for cancer.
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@jaronmyers
When someone takes the lowball, I'm always like "You are selling us all out. And FOR WHAT??"
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A conservative friend of mine said that if we start arresting cops for killing people, nobody will want to be cops.
If your recruitment strategy consists of "murder people consequence-free" maybe it's time to change the brochures.
Also, imagine how this argument applies.../1
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These are people who've seen so much: the Depression, World War 2, tupperware parties (they literally grew up before plastic), the moon launch, Three Mile Island nuclear accident...
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@Blues_Annie
This is so typical. I recently listened to a podcast about it, and 88% of those at the end of life talk to the dead. It's such a great way to ease them through it. Our minds are incredible.
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Staying at an Airbnb in Utah that is loaded with religious kitsch: a Book of Mormon in every bathroom, Families are Forever signs, several temple pics, two Liz Lemon Swindles, and *ta-da* a framed First Pres photo on stairs. Do I say something to owners (e.g. "dial it down")?
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Saw this statue outside Christ Church Cathedral in Dublin of a homeless person on a bench that upon closer inspection has nail marks in the feet, and I can't shake it.
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So many issues with the Mormon portrayal on Hulu's Better Things. What they got right: Church is boring, Mormon women can be passive aggressive, there's pressure to look perfect.
What they got wrong? Hold my root beer... 1/?
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Am I correct in thinking that at least 75% of actual mothers have very mixed feelings about Mother's Day?
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If you let your Church come between you and your loved ones, they aren't your loved ones.
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Mad props to any LDS pianist or organist who has played Stairway to Heaven or other classic rock as prelude by simply making it ponderous and quiet. Of such is the kingdom of God.
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@_nomadic_soul
In his view, anything women have was "given to them" by men. Haven't been sexually assaulted today? You're welcome.
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I think we need a new word for people who say they want freedom and love the US, but their love is conditional on male white supremacy ideology. I suggest hatriotism.
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@SabenProt
@EMSalasME
@ChefCraig67
@GeorgeTakei
Well, George W DID say history would be his judge. At the time I thought "Yeah, right." Now he's looking like a fricken genius and diplomat.
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SIL, notifies her husband their toddler is coming to sit with him during tonight's Jazz game.
BIL: (distracted with the game) Hey, I don't want him right now.
Random guy sitting next to us: Dude, she's had him for like the last thirty minutes!
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@mmhsilver
Unfortunately I'm across the country and grounded due to a breast cancer diagnosis, so I'm getting the deets from my sibs. They aren't telling her I've got breast cancer because she's already confused enough.
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Are there people who actually love going to Church or is it just 1) habit, 2) fear of being judged, 3) fear of going to hell, 4) fear of kids going "astray." I mean, these are all reasons, too, but does anyone actually *enjoy* it? Just curious.
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Overheard in Primary
8 year old kid: Why is it so COLD in here??
Teacher: Because men
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@Stefaniya
@mammothfactory
@RR_Reads
@samuelpalin
@kitlovelace
@Nicole_Cliffe
And her lover Storm Chaser.
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For a Church founded on a disdain for creeds, we have developed a real thing for Proclamations.
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@byKateSmith
Under Ceausescu, after his abortion ban across Romania, every gynecological exam included police oversight.
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Well, I don't know who thought this was a good idea! The Tobias Funke award goes, once again, to BYU-Idaho.
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Calling sexual assault non consensual immorality is like calling murder non consensual suicide.
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Growing up, I always thought Joseph Smith's apologies about his foibles referred to pranks and cheating at cards, not marrying teens and his friends' wives behind Emma's back. That's like apologizing for not emptying the dishwasher after parking your car in the living room.
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Scary conversation with my very left leaning college daughter: 1) she didn't realize until this week Trump was actually running again, and 2) all of her friends plan to sit out the election due to Palestine. They would never vote for Trump but that's not enough.
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This is how I always understood the afterlife growing up:
Celestial Kingdom: sex with Brad Pitt
Terrestrial: gardening with Mr. Rogers
Telestial: black out drinking with Keith Richards
Outer Darkness: tea and crumpets with Hitler
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7) the woman says they have family night on Wednesdays, 8) she also says they don't go to events because they don't drink or gamble or drink hot drinks or caffeine (Mormons do go to events and most drink caffeine), 9) but they apparently commit dual adultery.
SMH on this one. /E
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If Florida's terrible governor gets the nomination in 2024 and Mormons flock to support him, can we start calling it the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-DeSantis?
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I had an irregular mammo so they need to do more images to check for cancer. These additional images are NOT covered by insurance but they are medically necessary. "Diagnostics" are covered. "Screenings" are not.
Please tell me again how great US healthcare insurance is.
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3) the little girl spits when her friend says "God"?? No way, 4) the girl explains the lack of crucifixes because we don't want to remember "where our father rested", which literally doesn't even make sense (Jesus isn't the father), 3/?
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@mmhsilver
She's 97 so she's lived the life she chose. I worry more about my dad (turns 98 next week) who has never been without her since he was 21. As to the cancer, not my first choice, but I will get through it. When it rains it pours.
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5) the congregation sings How Firm a Foundation to a tune I've never heard before and it's a capella (!), 6) they are in CA and share a building with an Episcopalian Church (really? There are Church buildings everywhere), 4/?
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BYU's Black Menaces have done such important work. The harassment from the conservative students and faculty should be an embarassment to the Church and the school, but apparently it is not.
Presumption of innocence is a legal doctrine. It does not mean that I have to hold a high opinion of Tim Ballard until he’s convicted of something in a court of law.
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So, is Cotton dumb or posturing? Singapore is not China. They speak English. They are a former protectorate of England. They do not share a border with China. They are the opposite of communist. They are, IMO as a former resident of Singapore, more capitalist than the US.
Tik Tok CEO: I was born and raised in Singapore, I even served in their military.
Tom Cotton: So you’re a Chinese communist, got it.
Tik Tok CEO: I’m from Singapore.
Tom Cotton: So you’re Chinese.
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Ruh-roh. That means I'm the 36th confirmed Covid case from the Utah funeral, even though I'm fully vaccinated and wore a mask. Mild case at least.
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I just finished Tara Westover's memoir Educated, about her anti-intellectual upbringing in rural Idaho and her dad who decried conservative BYU as a haven for godless liberals. It all seemed so crazy, but then Holland just said pretty much what her crazy dad said.
The LDS church declares war on “radicalizing” BYU profs and the “Flag-waving and parade-holding” LGTBQ community.
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Of the 8 cases cited on the Church newsroom's page about "religious freedom" 7 of the cases are LGBT related. Looks like "religious freedom" is mostly a cover for anti-LGBT bigotry. Why the extraordinary efforts to make heroes of bigots?
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This has to be the most symbolic election certification of all time. AZ Gov Ducey is signing the certification and halfway thru gets a call from Trump (Hail to the Chief ringtone, natch) which he IGNORES, and continues to correctly certify the state for Biden.
HE'LL GET BACK TO YOU Back in July, Gov. Ducey said he changed his White House ringtone to "Hail to The Chief" so he wouldn't miss a call from Trump/Pence. Guess who called while Ducey was certifying Arizona's election? (7 secs in)
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When I was in Primary, the songs were about following Jesus, being a good friend, and listening to the holy ghost. Those songs are now mostly out of favor, and instead it's like Follow the Prophet is on a loop 24x7. This feels like autocracy propaganda.
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@Sonderbooks
When the Khmer Rouge took over Cambodia, they killed those with glasses because having glasses meant you were educated and might oppose them ideologically and effectively. There's your scary parallel.
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Proud of my non-binary kiddo who did their official name change with the state of AZ today. It's a lot of paperwork.
Fun fact: Name change hearings are now done remotely in a group. Each person goes off mute and activates the camera when the judge reads their name.
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@Lubchansky
NGL, I'm a little proud that my oldest mispronounced epitome (he said epi-TOME like an epic book) because when you do this it just means you are well read.
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1) nobody invites people to church and doesn't tell them about how people dress at church, 2) if someone shows up dressed down, no man is going to say the judgy thing to them (maybe a woman would or maybe behind their backs, not to the face), 2/?
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The people I know who are worried the vaccine will rewrite their DNA (which isn't a thing) are also the people I know who could most use the rewrite.
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A very important thread: men cause 100% of unwanted pregnancies. Read on.
I’m a mother of six, and a Mormon. I have a good understanding of arguments surrounding abortion, religious and otherwise. I've been listening to men grandstand about women's reproductive rights, and I'm convinced men actually have zero interest in stopping abortion. Here's why…
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I did a thing. Six or seven inches shorter and a new raspberry color. I was starting to look like a folk singer, but on the inside I'm more punk.
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One of favorite Mormon stories is when an old guy in our ward explained to a new member, a Jewish man, that now that he was baptized he'd been adopted into the House of Israel.
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@TheNoelAustin
@itsNicki00
@StarlightThelyt
Fine, but if you have said you're not ready for a relationship, you can't be devastated if she moves on.
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For General Conference weekend, I will be tweeting some Mormon Jargon definitions. Feel free to add your own.
Active (adj.) A person who sits inert for two hours every Sunday at the church rather than hiking, swimming, biking or running
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@_nomadic_soul
I had to self-administer 8 shots per day during my first pregnancy thanks to a DVT, and I was black & blue from my butt to my knees, so yeah, it's not exactly a fun-filled romp for all of us.
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Exhibit A: every family related policy for employees of BYUs
The irony of the Mormon church preaching eternal families is that, in practice, they don’t really support families.
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@calvinjburke
The entire point of that parable is that we CAN'T see the difference between wheat and tares. They look the same until harvest time, and we are commanded that both grow up together until the harvester comes to sort them.
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@collectdust
It's honestly sickening the way the right treats these guys like heroes, forcing them to double down on their worst impulses. Their lives are over.
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Thinking of the dinner with my parents the night before my wedding when my mom joked that we should trick my groom into marrying my older sister who was 30 and single first like Leah in the Bible. My sister, my groom, and I were all at this dinner together with them.
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Today's Sunbeam class.
Teacher: Have any of you ever had a fight with your siblings?
Child: Yes! Carter kicked me in the nuts!
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@_nomadic_soul
"scars" aren't a byproduct of fornicating. That sounds like a byproduct of serial sexual assault, not consensual fornication.
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@goodburton
@carlson_ethan
And I love how they invoke MLK as the symbol of "good black protest" as if their parents, grandparents and Church leaders didn't all call him an extremist, anarchist and terrorist.
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Job candidate today with her mask flopping below her mouth who enters my office in a coughing fit: My allergies are really bad right now.
Me, eyeing her mask: You are vaccinated, right?
Her: [uncomfortable pause, then weakly] yeah.
I do not believe her.
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I love when Twitter says "Do you want to read the article first?"
Yes, yes, I would. But do I want to pay every single reputable news source to get behind their paywall? Not really.
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@FailedLDSWoman
The guidelines say to wear them in situations in which they can be *reasonably* worn which for women is (checks notes) pretty infrequent.
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I feel compelled to share this amazing ratatouille I made tonight.
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This family. Look, of course they are in mourning, but they are also justifying his threats as "first amendment speech" (threats don't qualify) and that his views were "understandable." Protip: if you have a family member acting like this guy, INTERVENE. Don't agree with him!
Family of man shot by FBI mourn ‘senseless and tragic killing,’ say he was ‘frustrated and distraught’ by current events
#utpol
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I'm drinking actual Postum right now which is the most uniquely Mormon thing I've ever done.
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My adult child paid me the best compliment, that unlike a lot of people my age, I adapt when I learn new information. That's a mom win.
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@lindih
The freedom to discriminate, primarily. The freedom from any regulation on any impulse any organization or individual wants to claim has a religious justification. It can't be defined because they want to expand it well beyond precedent.
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@BeschlossDC
January 17th? As in literally one day after the head of US Capitol Police will resign? Hmmm, does that sound like a coincidence?
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Overheard in Sunbeams:
Teacher: We are told to search for Jesus. Where do you think we can look for Jesus?
Girl 1: He's hiding!
Girl 2: He's behind a rock!
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If we started taxing the rich, nobody would want to be rich...
LOL, they are literally saying that one already!
Now it's your turn... /End
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One of these LDS Primary teachers, a man, displays Oprah-levels of enthusiasm whenever the next song is announced in sharing time.
At first it was off-putting but it's growing on me.
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@whitecatprophcy
We had a rule that you could only attend church if you had an investigator with you, so if your investigator got baptized, you were inactive again. I was inactive for a lot of my mission as a result. Elders would be corralling drunks off the bus just so they could attend.
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In other professions:
If we started arresting people for pedophilia, nobody would want to be a school teacher or priest. /2
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@whitecatprophcy
The way singles, no matter how old they are, are seen as "inferior" to marrieds, no matter how young they are.
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I'm quickly running out of people I know who have *not* left the Church. Anyone with any queer family member seems to be an inevitable casualty. Anyone who didn't vote for Trump likewise. The average church service is a weird mix of boring AF & toxic AF.
This would confirm a lot of speculation...The
#Mormon
Church is in full decline. Assuming the trend is only linear, they've got about 30 years left, but if it's parabolic, the collapse of local units will be even faster.
#Mormonism
will once again be confined primarily to Utah.
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If we started arresting people for poisoning food, nobody would want to be a chef! /3
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"When there's looting, people start shooting", but when a cop murders a man in front of other cops and bystanders, we need to follow due process and let the justice system do its job. Sounds like we acknowledge there is no due process and no justice for people of color.
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One foot in Germany, one in Austria. I'm like Captain Von Trapp!
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Obviously not a fan of Babylon Bee, but this slaps hard
Member Of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints Wishes There Were A Shorter Way To Say Member Of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints
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I was at dinner with vegan friends this weekend, and the wife assured me that if you drink milk after being vegan you can "taste the blood." I'm not a milk drinker, but as I recall, milk is not a blood product.
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@Phil_Blackmon
@Betterw05759703
Instead we have for profit health insurance which is there to make money, not for the public good, and we have a political party that believes that if you aren't insured it's your fault and you deserve to die. Also that to tying health care to employment is somehow normal.
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Been sitting in this waiting room for thirty minutes for my breast cancer surgical consult. I think the plan is to bore the cancer out of me
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I was getting a Diet Coke fountain drink today when I saw a guy out of the corner of my eye filling his cup with ice. As I was finishing, he crossed behind me and suddenly I felt his hand on my ass. I let out a small scream and got ready to defend myself.
It was my husband.
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@MysterySolvent
Apparently, trying to run an ungovernable and unmoderated social media site with a scant 30 employees has a downside.
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So true
Returned missionary still has nightmares about having to re-live the best two years of his life.
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