I don't believe in Heavenly Parents that move the goalposts, always watching as we fall down, shaking their heads in scorn.
I believe in Heavenly Parents that help us, console us, lift us up on their shoulders & take us to victory. And afterwards, when mortality is over, donuts.
Yesterday in an elevator, I ran into a finance professor—I explained to him I once was an economics major, but became an English major
With horror he asked “Why would you switch from Economics to English?”
Y’all. I’d waited MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THAT QUESTION FROM A FINANCE PROF
“When I pointed this out, they declared me a heretic. At first I was confused—but decided they may be right. So, where does a heretic go, Professor? That’s right: The only place in a University where theory actually touches ground—the English Department.”
His face was ASHEN.
I was like “By the time I got to the 400 level Econ courses, I noticed that, rather than justifying the underlying assumptions of our discipline, they were throwing calculus into models with no grounding. It was like Nietzsche quote, ‘They muddy the water to make it seem deep’”
What makes this funnier was he began the conversation by poking fun at my broken toe—& I replied “I’m impressed you made that observation, considering you work in the Business School!”
In an all seriousness, the finance professor was a fantastic guy & really great to talk to.
@REirikr
How dare you insult Astrology, a system of meaning making that has given hope and inspiration to countless people across millennia, unlike economics, which has done none of that under any circumstances at any time, ever
The amount of folks in Southern Utah who are defending the actions of the father who murdered his entire family in the comments is disturbing beyond belief.
Southern Utah, you are in my prayers. For a number of reasons.
Folks who have escaped abuse: I believe you.
for folks looking to understand more about why English is where theory actually touches ground, I recommend as a primer “Contingency, Irony, and Solidarity” by Richard Rorty
& this piece on economics by the fantastic (English Prof) Christopher Nealon💞
I spent my Saturday night cradling my friend, another active Latter-day Saint BYU student, as she wept
Her active Latter-day Saint family disowned her yesterday after she came out to them
I gave her a priesthood blessing.
Another normal day
The doctor I saw at Utah Valley Medical Center broke down crying bc of how Utahns have turned against the medical community when we need them most. I’d never seen a doctor cry before. That’s gonna haunt me
Tonight my bishop told me, "I used to be one of those people who spoke cruelly about LGBTQ people. I wish I could take it back. I hope to spend the rest of my life repenting for that. I want to make sure our ward is always a safe place—for you, & for everyone."
made me cry, tbh
One like & I will email the finance prof
“Dr. Dubil,
Thank you for the wonderful elevator exchange on Thursday. I shared some of it on Twitter and it resonated with a few others. If you still know how to read, you may enjoy their comments also.
Indubitably yours,
Calvin Burke”
I am a gay member of the church w/ no official pathway to salvation or a place in the revealed gospel plan, I've gotten constant death threats while at BYU, & yet conservatives are leaving the Church bc of the "oppression" they feel when asked to wear a mask during a pandemic
Introductory page to the Book of Mormon:
"Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together."
@AntheaButler
@BYU
@duke
It is crucially important to remember in this discussion that LDS Commissioner of Education
@ClarkGilbert
—against the advice of Mormon leadership—has removed antiracism from the BYU curriculum and continues to veto & shut down all faculty initiatives combatting racism.
I do not “struggle” with my sexual orientation. I struggle with the way members of Christ’s Church demean, belittle, & disregard me because of my sexual orientation.
For years, Dr. Allen E. Bergin led BYU's formal research on gay conversion therapy. He was also a member of the Sunday School General Presidency
Last week, Dr. Bergin issued a formal apology for the harm he caused LGBTQ Latter-day Saints, renouncing his past beliefs & actions:
If the Savior came to your ward
He'd befriend the single mom on the last row
He'd believe the children coming forward about their abuse
He'd wipe the tears off the cheek of the bullied trans woman
The Savior won't be in your ward this Sunday;
He needs you to be there instead
IF THE BISHOP CAN MAKE YOU WEAR A WHITE SHIRT TO PASS THE SACRAMENT, THE BISHOP CAN ALSO REQUIRE YOU TO WEAR A MASK.
IT CALLED IS CALLED A DRESS CODE, BRAXTON. JUST LIKE HOW 7-11 REQUIRES YOU TO WEAR A SHIRT
“What would Brigham Young do about drag queens?”
Let’s learn!
Brigham Young’s son, Morris Young, was a drag queen for years in Salt Lake City.
Brigham Young made him a cofounder of the Young Men’s Organization. He performed a drag show for Prophet Lorenzo Snow’s birthday.
Hundreds of missionaries from the Philippines are coming back to Salt Lake City today. Social distancing is out the window as people welcome back their family members with posters, balloons, and hugs.
@KUTV2News
In my friend’s Provo ward on Sunday, as the 80 year old Stake Patriarch got up to speak, he elbowed the Bishopric & asked “Feeling brave, Brethren?”
Then he gave a 20-min talk calling the ward to repentance for being homophobic & transphobic🌈
Good energy for Provo right there!
I do wonder what President Oaks is thinking tonight as he falls asleep, now that the entire Utah House delegation (all Mormon republicans) voted to federally protect same-sex marriage🧐
You have to understand that waking up every morning & doing something dangerous and vulnerable, only to have it all totally destroyed—& then getting up & doing that same dangerous and vulnerable thing the next day—that is the very essence of what it means to be a Queer Mormon
The part of Provo dating that breaks my heart most is seeing some men feign spirituality so they can take advantage of women
A sacrament testimony, Insta post or tweets about spirituality ≠ real conversion
How he respects your boundaries means more than tears during Sacrament
one time on my mission, my bishop where I was serving was like “yeah, I marry gay people. I just don’t tell the Church about it. And who is going to stop me?”
being a gay student at BYU is always intimidating
Sometimes I’ll wonder what people think of me
Sitting next to me in my religion class though, a girl complimented my phone lock screen — which has a rainbow flag on it :)
I feel safer today
One time the BYU Honor Code Office was like “Calvin someone reported you for having a boyfriend,” & I was like “Can I see the report?”
They gave me a copy—& the name of my boyfriend was REDACTED
I was like “Hey I’d like to know who I’m dating”
“Sorry, his name is confidential”
It’s really weird starting employment at a university that is *not* BYU, because they are like “hello, you are a full human with basic civil rights, and you will be treated like an adult and a whole person just as you are” & wow that is such an amazing thing to experience???
As a gay Mormon, there's a part of me that dies a little bit when I hear my Stake President bear testimony that there will never be a place for me in the eternities
Yet the Spirit whispers something different
"You are my child," It says. "And this man does not yet understand."
It matters that the shooter’s name is on the records of the Church.
And it matters that the names of queer people like those he murdered are not allowed on the records of the Church.
These things matter.
Tbh if we had women involved in serving on church disciplinary councils, men would be way less likely to get away w/ spousal & child abuse & sexual assault & I do not get why we have not been having that conversation
When Sharon Eubank stepped to the pulpit, & said, tears in her eyes, "This world is not what I want it to be. There are many things I want to influence & make better, & frankly, there is a lot of opposition for what I hope for, & sometimes I feel powerless."
I felt that with her
The Latter-day Saints mad about the "F*** the Mormons" chant at the BYU v Oregon game are the same folks who said last year "Elder Holland calling for us to use 'musket fire' against LGBTQ+ people was totally great actually," so this outrage feels thoughtless & out of touch to me
In class a student lamented "we just let the gays and lesbians wander around society now"—not realizing I was there too
Then our professor stopped everything to talk about how we as a campus & church need to change & treat LGBTQ folks w/ love
I teared up at 10am on a Monday wow
Me, explaining Mormonism’s current identity crisis to a not-Mormon: “so basically right now there are two kinds of Mormons that have never before existed at the same time: Mormons who believe in following Jesus’ teachings, & Mormons who believe in following the Republican Party.”
Every so often I see someone talk about “separating the wheat from the tares”
But the problem is this:
That is God’s job.
At no point in the scriptures are we called to be “sifters”—
We are called—over & over again—to be *gatherers*
Let’s remember that.
I was doing an HR training for my new job at a different university today & the FIRST THING they said was “if you intentionally misgender or mock a trans person, you will be immediately fired” & I about FELL OVER
“is this real life?? At a RELIGIOUS COLLEGE??” Fr*ck yeah, get it
Y’all ever think about how devastating it is that Mormon white nationalist can have calling & a temple recommend, while queer couples & families can’t even get baptized?
& racist Mormons can hold leadership positions, while even celibate LGBTQ+ Mormons can’t have youth callings?
There are commenters on the LDS Living article telling me to CHANGE MY DIET TO NOT BE GAY.
"Walk at least 30 minutes a day. Control your carb intake."
I WAS A VARSITY HIGH SCHOOL ATHLETE. I still have washboard abs! Also, still gay.
Well, all children of God deserve love.
Some ppl are like “tell Cal’s priesthood leaders to excommunicate him for being GAY on TWITTER”
as if my priesthood leaders don’t already follow me on twitter
Talking about it with my Stake President the other day & he was like “Cal, the WHOLE STAKE STANDS BEHIND YOU” & I cried
Kris, I love you so much. My beloved Possum Friend, who changed my life, and made me feel safe when I first came out like no one else did—may our Heavenly Parents hold you close until the great day when we all meet again. Love you.
The morning after Hank Smith declared me the antichrist to an alt-right hate group—before anyone from BYU even reached out to me—administrators from the U were in my DMs like “Just an FYI—we take situations like yours VERY seriously at The University of Utah.”
The first BYU Professor I came out as gay to offered to get me into conversion therapy
The second grabbed me by the shoulders & shouted “The Church is going to change because WE are RIGHT & GOD IS ON OUR SIDE” then hugged me so hard my eyes bulged out
BYU is weird like that lol
I told my bishop about the death threats tonight— he gave me a blessing, & told me to keep on doing exactly what I’m doing here & at BYU
His message for LGBTQ+? “You are wonderful & loved by the Lord, just for being who you are.”
I love my Bishop.
Still recovering from how I sat next to someone at the gate while waiting for my plane and they said “aren’t you the guy who Hank Smith called the antichrist”
Honestly it really is a total indictment of us as a Church that we would excommunicate a professional therapist for promoting sexual health before we would a white nationalist actively threatening BIPOC in our congregations
Don't get me wrong I am really happy New York City is flying in doctors & nurses to help Utahns in the pandemic here now
but tbh I am mostly just feeling rage they even have to be here in the first place, bc it shows how selfish & callous the people of our state have behaved
Honestly, sometimes I see pictures of happy LGBTQ+ families & it just astounds me— What was so threatening about their happiness that we devoted decades upon decades to ensuring they never existed, or even had a chance at a “happily ever after”? Astonishing, & heartbreaking to me
A v sad irony is Latter-day Saints, whose entire religion exists bc a doubting boy asked a question—
& whose religious structure is based on continuing to ask God questions—
developed a culture where people are ostracized & cast out for working through doubts & having questions
Never forget:
The Book of Mormon is a story about a large group of violently racist misogynists who thought they were better than everyone else, & wound up getting annihilated *explicitly because* they would not stop being violently racist misogynists
That's it, that's the plot
People are not entitled to relationships with others! Relationships are a privilege. If you want relationships, treat others respectfully.
Men—those who are husbands/fathers—are *never* entitled by fiat to relationships with wives/kids. Certainly not with those they have abused.
Holy. Frick.
Gen Z Mormons rank highest of all faith groups in saying they personally have been harmed by religion, faith, or a religious leader—higher than even atheists:
Tonight, students at Utah State University have lit Old Main in rainbow colors, in a show of solidarity & love for victimized LGBTQ+ students here at Brigham Young University🥺💞
@colorthecampus
#RainbowDay
@USUAggies
when middle-aged LDS women talk to me they're usually stunned bc I'm the first active gay guy they've met but then we immediately become besties after bonding over how terrible straight men are together & that's become part of my testimony about why the church needs gays
I’m honestly always so shocked that Latter-day Saints rail against government socialized programs for the poor when quite literally our entire church is a socialized program for the poor
Need food? Call the bishop. Need rent? Call Bishop. Need subsidized therapy? Call Bishop!
Elder Holland: “We are prepared to lose our accreditation and entitlements bc we are prejudiced”
The United States Department of Education: “aight, bet”
Right now I’m thinking about the time at church that a currently serving Latter-day Saint Bishop introduced me to some people by saying “Calvin is the kind of man you want your son to marry.”
I will be running on that praise for the rest of my life!!
Queer Latter-day Saints are essentially faced with a choice almost exactly like the one we believe Adam & Eve faced in the Garden of Eden:
Stay in the Church's good graces and never progress,
or leave the Church's good graces & marry, have a family, & progress.
Super ironic
Please believe LGBTQ Mormons when we say that some of the things said at church hurt.
Please believe LGBTQ Mormons when we say some of the things taught and said and done make us feel better off dead.
Please believe us.
Please believe me.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
╱╱╭╮╲╲ house
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
make jokes about the trauma
we’ve endured but also see a
therapist bc we r responsible
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
The amount of Latter-day Saints who treat any vague critique of the institutional religion they practice as a direct personal assault on them is disturbing. That is *not* a healthy character trait