kyman angst crackwhore
@gumdroppyao3
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hi im wednesday im 23 and i enjoy south park a normal amount 🔞🔞🔞 dead dove lover and angst factory
kyman angst purgatory
Joined November 2023
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I NEVER NOTICED THIS BEFORE LMFAOOOO HES SO PROUD OF HIMSELF
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finally putting this here from tumblr bc its still my favorite
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this is how i need yall to picture kenny in butters kitchen
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this shit is what I’m talking about when I say they talk like they have been fucking married for 40 years. BITCHY WIFE KYLE IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME
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ITS SO CUTE HOW HE SAYS IT LIKE
AND HE KEEPS HIS LITTLE HAND OUT THE WHOLE TIME LMAO
i think about “cartman gimme some money. … give me MONEY, fat boy!! 😡😡😡” a thousand times a day
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possibly the actual best k2 flavor look at them
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final repost thing with honeymoon kyman bc they deserve it
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THEFUCKING BOYS ARE SO CUTE ON RITALIN IM CRYINGGGT
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thinking about how eric genuinely and kind of often equates sex to violent disrespect. from “your dad fucked your mom… the person you trusted most��� fucked your mom…” just as the strongest example to me. theres more i cant think of rn but im not crazy
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kyman married for 25 years and eric updates kyle’s picture and name in his contacts like every 2 months to something new and over the top (“LOML 😤💯💍” “Kyley Baby 🥰♥️🏳️🌈” “EX WIFE (Ate All My Fucking Oreos)” “My Moon and Stars ♥️♥️♥️” “ORPHAN ANNIE 🤪🤪🤪‼️”)
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“kyle gets so hyper sometimes he runs around and screams like a little eight year old!!” thinking about this being true. like kyle being a hyper kid by himself at home or with ike and annoying his mama. please i cant i fucking cant do this
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i cropped this to the top of erics head so we can SEE without a shadow of a DOUBT— LOOK AT THE SUBSTANTIAL GAP BETWEEN WHERE ERIC CUTS OFF AND RANDY AND SHARON. ERIC ALL GROWN UP IS BIG AND TALL AND I WILL DIE ON THAT HILL
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fucking crying that this is the first kyman nsfw art ive put up here but anyone whos anyone is stanning mr. phallus so
just realized a horrible truth. eric would make his dick talk in a silly voice like its a puppet. holding it and moving it like its talking and “oH gOlLy iM SoOoo ExCitEd to bE HeRe oh well we’re very happy to have you mr. phallus YoU GuyS ArE ThE BeSt”
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wip of mommy kyle making sure everybody sleeping under the broflovski roof tonight brushes their teeth (yes you too stanley don’t be disgusting)
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eric playing pvp video games “you like that dont you oh yeah baby youre a freaky slut huh take that L for daddy” and kyle rage quits for like 10 minutes
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marital kyman arguments go [brushing teeth] “well kyle sweetheart we all have our flaws. i let the trash can get too full, you get winedrunk and cry and scream and throw plates at me because ‘i dont really love you’—“ “oh my fucking god that was 2 weeks ago i said i was sorry”
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eric putting his hand around kyles throat when they make out but with no pressure at all he’s just holding him. kyle always kinda thinks hes gonna squeeze but he never does and kyles not sure why he does it but the truth is eric just ghhh eric just likes to feel his pulse…
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not sure why i started with those guys but have another wip
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this is gonna sound masturbatory and i apologize for that but i am putting this one on everything ive ever owned
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kyman married and getting pregnant with their first baby after trying for a while + theyre so fucking giddy. they go home and are being stupid and playful like teenagers “oh my god eric i cant believe you got me pregnant what are we gonna tell our parents?? ♥️♥️”
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so cartmans notorious for having big elaborate figments of his imagination possibly be reality but everybody thinks its horseshit right (cupid me, mitch conner, etc) but who was the first to have something like that in the show. kyle. w mr. hanky. soulmate coded shit.
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kyman having so many babies backfires stupendously when they wanna get divorced 12 years in and they have eight kids with eric cartmans blood in them who are all completely capable of elaborate scheming to keep them together. including the baby.
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thinking of grown up kyman where theyre divorced and theyre the new strong woman and pc principal bc destiny hates them
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cant remember if ive said this already but eric and kyle overusing pet names while theyre having their passive aggressive fights while doing dishes or whatever. like well, LOVE OF MY LIFE, if you would LISTEN TO THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH
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need liane to stop gossiping with her 8 year old who thrives on the misfortune of others immediately
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kenny getting annoyed that kyle and eric are slowburning and in denial and just cuffing kyle to speed up the process because you know eric’s gonna lose his fucking marbles
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oh shit i never posted this here. here you go. based on one little piece of flashback lore from love and the other thing, which as you know is my epic kyman tragicomedy trainwreck which will probably update like today or tomorrow
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id like to go on record saying eric definitely had real feelings for heidi but they are so abstract and weird. but he absolutely did have actual vested emotions and a weird little relationship with heidi
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kyle uses himself like a weighted blanket for when eric gets neurotic and inexplicably and unbearably bad feelings. like will just put himself in his lap and lay against his chest and hold him and it works beautifully like 80% of the time i think
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watching future self n me and crying that cartman says his legitimate business has exacted revenge on clyde and craigs parents “and kyles but that was a freebie”. LIKE. WHAT DID YOU SAY. TELL ME MORE THATS SUCH A CUTE THING TO SAY DONT TEASE ME…
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omegaverse where all of the m4 are alphas except for omega kyle and when they hit high school and virginities start being lost and matings and heats start happening they team up and tell kyle that they all talked about it and decided hes spending his first heat with all 3 of them
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“i forget to put my dishes in the sink, you call kenny and tell him i never go down on you anymore—“
“you literally told me you were going to trade me in for a fleshlight last night.”
“kyle, why are you always digging up the past, baby? can you tell me why you do that?”
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kenman has crazy wild loud fun sex
kyman has intense cathartic filthy cant get close enough sex
stanman has awkward kinda uncomfortable but ultimately sorta yummy sex
style has homey comes way too natural sex
stenny has intoxicated comfort sex
k2 has kyle cums his brains out sex
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OH GOD COLORING KYLES SOCKS AND SHOES LIKE THIS FOREVER FROM NOW ON WAHHH
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kyman with the richard and nichole dynamic from gumball…
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kyman where theyre both really really uncomfortable seeing the other one cry. esp. in high school and the couple years right after high school. they hate seeing each other cry it makes them feel awful and useless and anxious and gross. they dont know what to do with tears.
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omega kyle with all alpha remainders m4 being such a fucking mommy/wife when they’re kids. he’s always fixing buttons and scrubbing stuff off their faces and scolding and sharing snacks and making them hold his hands in crowds so they don’t wander off and they LOVE IT
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stendy and heiman go together so good as well. eric and stan just drink beers and bitch about their wives (their wives who they would literally starve and die and not know how to dress themselves with out and theyre both mindnumbingly beautiful)
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eric asking stan if the kids can come hang out with him for a weekend and stans like NO. everytime you ask me that you lock the whole house down and unplug all your phones all weekend and then kyle gets pregnant again NO man QUIT he’s made you SIX babies thats ENOUGH
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when kyle and eric are married kenny has a years long research experiment going that shows, statistically, that if you say something fucked up and piss them both off there is a 50% chance they will team up on you and a 50% they will forget you started it and fight each other
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[SETTING: high school party]
eric: eating pussy is so gross like if you eat pussy you are a weirdo and a simp
[kyle calmly takes him by the wrist into a closet from which they emerge 20 minutes later, kyle looking very pleased and relaxed and eric looking like hes seen god]
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well, whoever you are; im sure youre sitting there right now, in your little green hat, with your left cheek resting against your hand, thinking, ‘im not getting away with this, am i?’— because whoever you are, maybe you still have one piece of humanity left, covered up and tain
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why do kyman talk to each other like theyve been married for 40 years in canon like tell me that. kyle has such wife energy its staggering
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i disobeyed you they’re not all boys but this is what ive got
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and what if i used this as a metaphor for stan and kyles relationship in love and the other thing huh what then
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don’t know how i got possessed by baby style of all things but here
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im sorry but obnoxious jock high school football star eric is so real in my heart. channelling tom brady is a lifestyle
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so think of this right. kyman is married and unbelievably happy and life is just beautiful and stan and kyle havent seen each other in years which is sad but then kyle runs into stan like sees him in public somewhere and is so pleasantly surprised and excited and stan is
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BOYS DO NOT BE MEAN TO YOUR WIFE WTF IS WRONG WITH YALL
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“if cartman really loved heidi then why did he—“ because hes sick in his fucking head dude the fuck do you think. act like youve been here betore
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cartman walks by and kenny says “oh my gyat” under his breath and kyle laughs like absurdly inappropriately abruptly and loudly and also hes the only one that laughed
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kenny breaking a bone or something and going “jesus christ i can’t afford to go to the hospital right now and thats gonna be in a cast for like so long and i can see it so ill probably need physical therapy dude fuck that” and just shoots himself in the face to be factory reset
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just realized a horrible truth. eric would make his dick talk in a silly voice like its a puppet. holding it and moving it like its talking and “oH gOlLy iM SoOoo ExCitEd to bE HeRe oh well we’re very happy to have you mr. phallus YoU GuyS ArE ThE BeSt”
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erics sleight of hand in removing condoms before/during sex is so impressive kyle almost finds it difficult to stay mad like. fuck you for cumming in me when i told you a million times not to AGAIN but also holy shit dude how did you do that
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I WOULD DIE FOR KENMAN
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squints… in the beginning of imaginationland when cartman says “kyle. suck my balls.” it kind of sounds like he? intentionally pronounces his name right??? to me???
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kenny “i don’t wear condoms and i don’t pull out okay i fuck like a goddamn american” mccormick. and i truly believe that
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experimental doodle of heidi and eric in love and the thing i need to update
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do we. do we know whos older. stans birthday is first right bc he turned 10 first? didnt he?? do we know how long he had to exist in flesh on an earth without kyle that is horrifying who would do that to an infant
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also eric uses kyles pregnancies to his advantage literally all the time mostly for cutting in line “EXCUSE MY WIFE IS PREGNANT” “YOUR WIFE IS ALWAYS PREGNANT!!!!”
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when kennys fucking hes really really insanely sweet and intense and attentive and “youre so beautiful youre doing so good youre making me feel sooo good” right up until right before he cums when it turns very abruptly into “fucking take that shit dumb bitch FUCK” for like 30sec
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god miss teacher bangs a boy is such an epic kyman episode
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kyle tries to tell his mommy on them and all she has to give him is this fond “silly boy” type mother laugh like HES crazy and just “kyle i like those boys for you bubbie theyve always taken such good care of you i think this was very sweet of them to decide to do for you.”
omegaverse where all of the m4 are alphas except for omega kyle and when they hit high school and virginities start being lost and matings and heats start happening they team up and tell kyle that they all talked about it and decided hes spending his first heat with all 3 of them
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while im reposting my tumblr art ill throw this out there too. this is what made me write love and the other thing haha. song’s here
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talking to him and trying to play it cool and act like hes also super surprised to see him because kyle does not realize he just caught stan stalking him like hes been doing for the last however many years since they all graduated high school
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my favorite part of an episode is the part where eric gets really mad and spells out his actual motivations/intentions very clearly and then everyone just moves on instead of doing anything with that
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kenny and cartman talking loudly about sex toys and porn at lunch and kyle is obviously annoyed. they get on the topic of fleshlights and eric (to be funny) goes “ive already got a fleshlight kenny its right between kyles legs”
and kyle immediately breaks his nose on pure reflex
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stylennyman or whatever you call it where if kyle ever has sex with just one of them they better make him cum at least three times bc at this point getting fucked three times just feels like one full round to him with how the three of them generally play w him
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i think about “cartman gimme some money. … give me MONEY, fat boy!! 😡😡😡” a thousand times a day
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fuckin around and making a priv that ill maybe even use
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kyle peels all of stans oranges for him and stan ties kyles shoes
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what if mr mackey stuffed us into the get along shirt and we were both boys and you gave me aids once
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this is so college students gymbro eric and freeloader roommate kenny coded. no questions at this time
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okay uhh im watching the show and i just noticed eric refers to HIMSELF as “cartman” and. i dont love the implications of that for this little boy’s psyche ngl
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get a vote about who does and doesnt fucking knot me.”
and they all just groan like oh my god dont make this an omega oppression issue please youre so dramatic
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