Greggory
@greggtmasterson
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delivery driver of the month november 2022 | esteemed city council member’s failson | psalm 38:7 | media guide in bio | @TwinsOffDaily
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Lin Manuel Miranda had 1 hit. Jose Miranda had 12. I’ll let you decide who the better cousin is.
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This is a trap to capture Zack Hample
WHO THE FUCK THINKS THEY’RE GETTING $998 FOR OUTFIELD SEATS LMFAOOOOOOO
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Fake footage this child is pulling the ball that’s not Joe
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Today, I simulated the 2024 Twins season, managing it as an internet commenter might. Spoiler alert, they went 59-103, but at least they tried something and sent messages! See below for my adventure.
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My prediction is 0-6 because remember the 98 Vikings?
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I am the byproduct of a Minnesota Twins obsession.
Tomorrow is the day. It's been 18 games and 19 years. Please, Twins, don't make me add another chapter to this story.
Love, Greggory
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When you show up late to the game (9th inning) but walk it off anyway
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So the Yankee sweep was in exchange for the Wolves reaching the WCF.
The next 4 games they didn’t have the sausage.
10 runs and counting after the sausage was overnighted.
I may be becoming superstitious.
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If Rocco was competent and kept his talent, the lineup today could look like
CF LaMonte Wade
LF Akil Baddoo
RF Brent Rooker
DH Nelson Cruz
1B David Ortiz
3B Jake Cave
SS Drew Maggi
C JA Happ
2B Santa Claus
P Markus “Seven Radishes” Niedereiter
No ablility to self-scout at all
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It’s getting a little embarrassing at this point. Twins fans need to come to grips with the fact that, yes, the new logo looks a lot like the Marlins logo, and that’s okay.
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It’s so funny that South Dakota is the interesting Dakota when its attractions are 1) secluded rock with president faces chiseled in it 2) unfinished and impossibly large statue 3) building with corn nailed to it 4) rest stop that has free ice water
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In 1997, Greg Maddox tossed a 76-pitch complete game. This is now known as “4 innings” to most current starting pitchers.
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Nice of the Wolves to try tonight. You can tell they’re trying because they’re winning. They did not try for the last three games. I am very smart
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I forced ChatGPT to listen to Gleeman and the Geek's entire library and write podcast, Here's what it spit out:
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Sonny Gray just approached Joey Gallo and said “See that! That’s a sacrifice fly! You don’t understand situational hitting with your exit angle and launch velocity!”
Gallo responded “Ey, gabbagool! This is why I put a rock in your shoe!”
Source confirmed
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I don’t mean to make light of this situation and I hope everyone recovers but why is this in the same format as the FBI warning to not duplicate DVDs?
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Me noticing Barry Zito, Mark Mulder, and Tim Hudson’s baseball reference page
So did Michael Lewis just never find any of this out when he wrote the book the movie's based on?
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Bench roles for the Wild Card—
Vázquez: second catcher (maybe defensive replacement)
Solano: pinch hitter extraordinaire
Farmer: pinch hitter vs. LHP, 3B defensive replacement
Stevenson: pinch runner, LF defensive replacement
Castro: yes
That’s incredibly functional.
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The average age of the signers of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776 was 44 years old, but more than a dozen were 35 or younger:
Thomas Jefferson: 33
John Hancock: 39
Carlos Santana: 25
Caleb Theilbar: 21
James Monroe: 18
Paul Revere: 41
Jay Jackson: 44
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I’m not one for dreaming, but
López 5 -> Varland 2 -> Thielbar 1 -> Durán 1
then
Gray 4 -> Paddack 1.2 -> Thielbar .1 -> Jax 1 -> Stewart 1 -> Durán 1
Is going to go so hard
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Poor Mr. That’s Baseball had no idea that the standard punishment for bringing up 0-18 is 13 20-year-old accounting students QT him to hell
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If the Twins are going to go 5 months without fans being able to use the number 1 medium for watching the game, I can’t imagine how many borderline fans they’re about to lose.
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Carlos Correa, standing up after Rocco leaves the two-hour, closed-door meeting:
“Dammit guys! Coach is right. If we wanna win, it’s on us!”
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the twins premier their city connects tonight so i made a video about my thoughts and i don't care if it OFFENDS you
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Royce Lewis being BENCHED for Austin Martin in a MUST WIN game to send a MESSAGE
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Contrary to public opinion, today is the FIRST must-win game of the year for your hometown Minnesota Twins
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Putting together a trade package for Juan Soto, what do you guys think?
Trevor Larnach
Charlee Soto
Austin Martin
Aaron Sabato
Malfrin Sosa
One of the Cheap Pohlad
Keoni Cavaco
Murphy
Dan Hayes
Daniel Ruettiger
Jason Bartlett
Al Newman
Chili Davis
The new fake TC
Mickey Mantle
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Holy shit man I cannot deal with all the bitching and moaning woe is me Minnesota sports fans talking about “I have been betrayed too many times I have been hurt I have developed learned helplessness” please beg of you act like an adult or go to therapy and stop watching sports
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We’re a righty thumper away from me being the most excited I’ve been about a Twins lineup since spring training 2020
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ATTN TWINS FANS ATTENDING THE SEASON OPENER: we are arranging a show of appreciation for the Newest Twin, Manny Margot.
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Have some pride in your work, bluecheck
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Tomorrow Carlos Correa is going to roll into spring training tomorrow and unleash the corniest, most buzzword-laden speech about loving each other and working hard. I’m so ready
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I hope Twins fans appreciate the ever-presence of Rodney and Tony. Wherever the Twins are, the best buddy ambassadors are there. It, once again, isn’t a requirement.
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Rocco, on Manuel Margot's arrival in camp today: "I’ve never seen someone make the Phoenix to Fort Myers trip that quick."
Buxton said Margot showed up and asked if they needed him to play today: "That’s something you don’t see very often, and just shows you the person he is."
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I’m writing right now, but I want to get a point across here now.
After you’ve processed that the end of the best part of the year is over, don’t skip straight to next year.
Acknowledge what this season was. No expectations. Snapping the streak. It was fun.
We loved it.
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Love the Jenkins pick. If there’s one thing this org lacks, it’s left handed corner outfielders
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@notgaetti
This just in: people who get a lot of hits and have a lot of power drive baserunners in
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7 pitches for Durán after 4 days off? That’s a tune-up he’s more than ready to go Tuesday
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Dallas Keuchel:
1) is a 5th starter at best
2) pitched worse than his ERA at AAA
3) isn’t better than any Twins SP
4) won’t come out of the pen
5) didn’t have enough interest to opt out 2 weeks ago
6) was not traded for yesterday
7) cost nothing to sign
8) requires a 40 man spot
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Christian Vazquez haters get in line to apologize right now
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You can disagree with the hook, but if you can’t tell the difference between what Rocco did tonight and what Schneider did last week, you’re a hack
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Brady Singer was scratched with an illness. Royals starting lefty Daniel Lynch.
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When you get caught trying to sneak in after spring training had already started
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I love how Matt Wallner at 14 was tweeting about the Twins exactly how you would expect a 14 year old in Forest Lake would—parroting the adults around him
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@SweetLouMN
Pinky was over rated I use to watch him at the old ball yard where you could get 3 peaches for a nickel
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You know you’ve hit a low when 643 Royals is cooking the fanbase
Twins fans are mad because their star player is getting a rest day after 2 torn ACL’s, a laundry list of an injury history, and 300+ career missed games because there’s a concert after the game?
Embarrassing, but not surprising
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How about this trade?
OAK receives
OF Emmanuel Rodriguez
SP Zebby Matthews
OF Gabriel Gonzalez
IF Tanner Schobel
MIN receives
Miguel Andújar
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Twins need to acquire an experienced playoff starter (Randy Dobnak)
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Jesse Chavez trying to sneak in 5 weeks late to Twins spring training
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Why TF did the Twins catch a stray in here????
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This just in: BRAKING NEWS: Future first baseman Edward Julian is going to switch hit so quick hook rocco will let him hit against lefties. Also he will hit with a glove
Photo credit Dan Hays
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Carlos Correa is hitting comparable to Derek Jeter and providing far superior defense at the most important position.
Terrible response. He needs to provide more offense. Standards haven't been met
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I’m as big a believer in clutch being a thing as any stathead (for obvious reasons), but 50 PAs isn’t some huge number. It’s 12 games. If someone slumped 2 weeks, no one would suddenly think they suck.
Also, here are Kepler’s opportunities to get an RBI:
17 PAs with runners on:
"He has come to the plate 50 times... and he has not driven in a single soul!"
–
@PhilMackey
on Max Kepler postseason woes
#MNTwins
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Dude is requesting DB Cooper what has the world come to
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My favorite part of this play is that after the runs scored and the game was over, Sanó still managed to find himself in a rundown while the rest of the team mobbed the plate
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I will not
#webelieveintc
because TC is not real. He was replaced with a fake bear with human hands and no longer competes in pregame home run derbies. FAKE TC!
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If you’re a Twins fan who just saw Joe Kelly strike out three and you think “maybe the Twins should trade for him,” just remember that Kelly published a book a few months ago with several chapters in which he details just how much he despises Carlos Correa
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Jacked for the Marlins to run Nick Gordon out at short consistently. A Gordon-Arraez middle infield will feed families
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It’d be darkly hilarious if the Twins went on to beat the Cleveland 22 game win streak with half of the games being unviewable for the core fanbase
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@bhaparker
Twins Twitter has exactly 5 clips
"Wow that's awesome man, I didn't know that thanks for sharing that with me"
Lewis 2 HR game
Lewis off Urquidy
that week grounder to end Game 1 vs Toronto
Pablo in Game 2
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97 year old diner still makes coca-cola the old fashioned way
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@SBNation
My trust wallet got hacked i lost my metamask wallet account when i try to validate my acc error please help i lost my trust wallet eth lost funds
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Before I sign off for the night, I wanted to thank you all. It’s been a great year.
I decided to start a Twitter in December, and now way more people follow me than should.
I’ve enjoyed interacting with fellow Twins fans, whether that’s on here or writing at
@twinsdaily
.
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TWINS SEASON TICKET HOLDERS: Do you want to send a message to cheap pohlad that enough is enough? I’m organizing a boycott! Please transfer me your tickets for the rest of the year and I will properly and heroically dispose of them! Empty the Target Field!
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Kirby Puckett would have NEVER allowed TK to sit him the day Flo Rida performs. Guess Lewis isn't the Greatest Twin Ever
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Gonna do an OOTP season run like online Twins fans would like.
Criteria I have so far:
Immediately trade Kepler for MLB pitching
Release Buxton
Trade Correa
Never let Vázquez play
Make Varland a setup man
Cut any players who have a bad 2 weeks
Anything else?
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I think people are going to be surprised at what it takes to get Ohtani, as in it will be less than expected.
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It’s unreal that Byron Buxton is basically Billy Hamilton if Billy Hamilton could also hit the ball 450 feet
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