Crowbar Jones 🐻
@gomichild
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CHEF. Food. Photography. Cookbook Author. Citizen Journalist. Insane Gourmiac. Vociferous Valkyrie. Cook Tease.
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Joined June 2007
It's finally available. My first cook book - The Culinary Canon V1:E1 Foundation Knowledge.
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Ah I see it's time for the Americans - who have mass shootings daily - to tell us Australians that we should have access to guns and repeal our strict gun laws, since we had a tragic incident involving a man with a knife. Kindly go fuck yourselves.
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Australia’s terrorism threat level raised from yeah nah to nah yeah.
#BREAKING 🚨 Australia's terrorism threat level raised from "possible" to "PROBABLE".
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I'm in a blocking mood - there's no argument worth having about this. You are wrong. We like not having guns. We don't need to rise up against the govt - we vote them out. Our kids can go to school and all they have to worry about is that their sandwiches don't get soggy.
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The age of criminal responsibility in Australia:. 10 years old . (except for ACT which is 14). Age you are deemed to be responsible enough to use social media:. 16 years old. MAKE THIS MAKE SENSE.
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They’re from Adelaide.
Every now and then you meet an Australian guy who talks with a sort of British but not quite accent and there's literally no real explanation for it other than they're a bit weird.
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We see you over there. We feel sorry for you. You really need to sort your own shit out. We are working on dealing with ours. In our free, democratic way.
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He doesn’t have his own name?. Sisters aren’t responsible for their adult brothers or their actions.
A former AFL champion and the brother of Matildas captain Sam Kerr inflicted “terrifying” acts of violence against his former partner, including cutting her bed in half with a chainsaw, a court has been told. MORE 👉
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“So Nanna tell us about when Australia became a Republic.”. “Well one of our Greatest Heroes Sam Kerr was charged for calling a stupid white bastard a “stupid white bastard” & we all just went well fuck it - we’re done.”. #IConKerr.
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Compare the Pair. Barnaby Joyce - drunk, belligerent, inert - gets a “mental health break”, still MP, no other consequences . Sam Kerr - states the obvious, charged, captaincy thrown into question
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JFC RELEASE ALL THE REFUGEES AND LET THEM GET ON WITH THEIR LIVES YOU CRUEL FUCKING BASTARDS.
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Caulfield South is a small suburb in the south east of Melbourne. Our state electorate is Caulfield. Our state MP is David Southwick (Liberal). David (or his social media team) creates fake accounts on Facebook to post his propaganda.
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Stop mocking Scott Morrison - the poor man had to write 5-6 resignation letters last night.
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I don’t fucking believe this but the tradie just knocked on my door to tell me that he’s installed the replacement oven - in the wrong house down the street. I literally have no words at this point.
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97 women have died from violence in Australia just this year.
Met with Australia's special envoy to combat antisemitism Jillian Segal this morning in Canberra to talk about the work we're doing to make Jewish Australians feel safe.
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The guy is an attention seeking wanker and should be told so at every opportunity.
A Melbourne man is demanding answers after he was asked to either remove his 'Make America Great Again' hat or leave a St Kilda bar. Ange Notta joins us.
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WHEN WILL THE AUSTRALIAN GOVERNMENT BAN TEENAGERS FROM LEAVING WET TOWELS ON THE FLOOR???.
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It’s astounding how many Australians appear to believe that “protest” means write a stern but polite letter.
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I’m done with the Vegemite shaming. Scrape it or trowel it on - the real enemy are people who prefer Marmite.
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Content Warning: Death, Grief. The last time I saw my Mum in person, February 2004. On the Glenelg foreshore where her father proposed to her mother. She was 53, I was 32. That week was the last time I would see either of my parents again.
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Congrats UK!. Now the next trick is to try and prevent your Labour Party from turning into Tories. Trust us. Love Australia.
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My friend Emma just wrote this thoughtful response to an ad in which a family on a 2 acre property, 3 bedroom house with pool were offering a rent-free granny flat in exchange for at least 4 hours maintenance work 6 days a week.
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Trophy for the saddest bunch of bootlickers can now be awarded.
MEDIA RELEASE. ***AUSTRALIAN MONARCHIST LEAGUE CALLS FOR SENATOR THORPE TO RESIGN FROM PARLIAMENT WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT***
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it's just a fucking shop window people. Take your kids to the museum, library or art gallery. Actual culture.
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As a single parent I've been forced to deal with Services Australia for a few years in all it's various demonic manifestations, but it took until today to finally break me.
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An Australian asked if anyone had any questions about Australia on 📕 this was one of the replies:
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We need every Australian in the UK to don "Stupid White Bastard" t-shirts immediately.
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Who is the Australian Special Envoy for anti-Asian racism?. Asking for my kid.
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The Teen has decided this morning that he can’t live under the cruel dictatorship of this house and is leaving. I said “OK. Bye.”.
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Made it to the 2 minute 48 second mark of the Australian version of The Office.
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Well I think we can safely say that my second appointment with the Job “Service Provider” did not go well. First Mr Happy at reception asked me some personal questions in the waiting area that I was reluctant to answer, given that I was surrounded by strangers.
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Charity is a failure of government.
Christmas is a time of giving. I had the pleasure of joining @billcrewsfdn and Premier @ChrisMinnsMP today to serve a delicious lunch for those in need at the Exodus Foundation. Merry Christmas, Australia.
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Labor government announcing shortly all kids must drink water from garden hoses, ride their bikes around the streets until the streetlights come on.
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Guess the National cabinet meeting to address the violent killings of 100 women last year is still being scheduled?.
National Cabinet met virtually today to reaffirm that Leaders are united in working together to stamp antisemitism out – and keep it out.
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Holy shit did you know that Dan Andrews has a Weather Control Machine now??? Where do his powers end???
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This is how marshmallows are grown and harvested.
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This is absolute bullshit. Every domestic student who qualified for Fee-Free TAFE has absolutely worked their arses off in my class.
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@SouthwickMP You have acted disgracefully in this manner and should be ashamed. I allowed you to be a part of a community and you contributed nothing, but tried to deceive your constituents. Disgraceful.
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I think we’d all be better off not listening to anything Jeff Kennett has to say. About anything.
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Yesterday I posted the statistic of women lost to violence in Australia - a serious issue which needs urgent addressing. Several men decided to inform me that I was wrong in neglecting to mention to statistic for male suicide as well. Yet I’m not seeing their posts about that.
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I didn’t ban my son from crossing roads because cars can be dangerous. I taught him how to cross the road safely.
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Popped into the local IGA for a couple of things, was wearing a mask. Unmasked mother clutched her two unmasked children and dragged them into an aisle to avoid me. Lady - I’m not part of the problem.
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For anyone interested my MP’s office have already contacted me today to discuss the matter.
As a single parent I've been forced to deal with Services Australia for a few years in all it's various demonic manifestations, but it took until today to finally break me.
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Despite the assistance of @zdaniel 's office, a booked phone appointment AND a reminder from Services Australia of the appointment day & time - it's been half an hour and I have received no notifications or phone calls from Services Australia. Just as I predicted.
As a single parent I've been forced to deal with Services Australia for a few years in all it's various demonic manifestations, but it took until today to finally break me.
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My god the job market is out of control with their expectations 😂😂
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In case you missed it - the Vic emergency map from yesterday. #melbourne. [source: reddit]
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I won. Going to Victoria State finals in July. Got a silver though - no one has managed a gold. Technique outstanding - need to practice more under pressure.
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Fun Fact: I can’t get alcoholic drinks delivered because I don’t have a current photo ID. I turned 50 today.
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OMFG Officeworks - I bought a pencil yesterday. I do not need to fill out a survey about the experience ffs.
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"You have a letter in your myGov Inbox.". Tries to exhale. It's in regards to my Carer application. THEY ARE ASKING FOR THE 13 PAGE DOCUMENT I UPLOADED ON NOVEMBER 1. I JUST LOGGED IN AND IT IS RIGHT THERE. UPLOADED 1 Nov 2023 (3:19 PM). I CLICK. IT'S FINE.
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Friend who does some Uber driving messaged me to tell me the most unusual sight he’s seen so far while driving - a completely naked man in Chapel st - who despite being naked in about 4°C at 2am - was wearing a mask on his face. Victorians - still safety conscious!.
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Holy shit. They’ve called already. A very sympathetic person called to tell me they’ve granted me an exemption from Mutual Obligations while my Carers claim is being processed. Because someone from my MPs office contacted them.
Oh I love this on the edge of total anxiety unplanned random situation for me today. Which of my current 4 issues could this relate to - or is it a new one?
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Sandilands is pure filth.
And this my friends, is why we have so many women being killed. Disrespect for women is a key driver of violence against women. When men in power demean women it normalises this behaviour.
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Nothing as traitorous as a woman tearing down other women.
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It can take weeks for a young person to be able to access mental health services, but sure let’s waste time & money on banning them from social media (where they often find support).
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Just got confirmation that I'm starting work placement at a really good Melbourne restaurant on Monday. ☺️.
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You shoulda popped passed the corner of Glen Huntly & Hawthorn roads and checked out the burnt out burger shop. That was pretty despicable too.
The fire here at the Adass Israel Synagogue in Melbourne was beyond despicable. It was terrorism.
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Labor to announce all kids must be in bed by 7:30pm on school nights, maybe up to 9pm on weekends and holidays, but don't push it, Mummy and Daddy MPs are tired.
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For Halloween this year I’m dressing as a Notification that You Have a Message in Your MyGov Account.
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I am told that I can't make an appointment, but I can at the end of my phone appointment, make an in person appointment. With them. In the office I'm currently sitting in. At this point I feel like I'm in a Monty Python sketch.
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Group hug for all of us without Mums who have to get through today ❤️.
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At some point I should interrupt to the teen getting ready for school and remind him it’s a public holiday.
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Vale Pigsy.
Sad news: Japanese actor Nishida Toshiyuki was found dead today in his home in Setagaya, Tokyo. He was 76. Nishida has acted since 1967 and starred for over a decade in drama TSURI-BAKA NISSHI. Modern viewers may remember him more for his role in the long-running DOCTOR X.
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Here is a dog trying to convince me it’s 5pm and therefore dinner time.
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Dogs in Victoria rejoicing over having their humans stuck at home.
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Things That Concern Me as a Parent of a Teenager in Australia, 2024. A Thread 🧵.
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Time to stop using the name "billionaires" and use the more accurate moniker "resource hoarders".
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Happy Fathers Day to all the Mums who also have to be Dads. ❤️.
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Best present ever - Jo found the 6th cup! (She gave me the first 5 a couple of years ago).
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Will the Prime Minister’s dog at least release a statement?.
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My heart smashed into pieces, I kissed my Mum goodbye. I don't think it's ever been whole again.
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Thinking about trick or treating around Brighton dressed as a high rise apartment building.
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I’m not saying that the Australian political class is out of touch, but Parliament House might as well be based on Pluto at this point.
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THIS DAMN DOG WHO I HAVE CUDDLED FOR TWO NIGHTS AND TWO DAYS, SILENTLY SOBBING INTO HIS FUR SINCE I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING HIM HAS JUST WOLFED DOWN A BOWL OF FOOD & RUN AROUND THE BACKYARD.
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So I glanced at a post earlier in which a tall person in a store refused to help a shorter person get something off a high shelf & instead of taking 10 seconds to help insisted they find a store person to help them. 10 second effort vs a drama & negativity for 3 people. NOW 👇.
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Received a wonderful gift today from a lovely person ❤️. Hand knitted jumper in Japanese yarn - 45% silk 45% kid mohair 10% lambs wool (for my wool nerd friends). Anyway not taking it off until summer.
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What I didn't expect from my tribunal hearing was a chance to tell my history with Centrelink, and receive understanding, solidarity and compassion, a promise to find a legal solution, and if that's impossible - another direction to pursue for justice.
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Is that needles in strawberries level prepared, or bushfire level?.
Authorities warn it's highly likely there'll be more cases of coronavirus, but say Australia is well prepared to deal with an outbreak. @cokeefe9 @ebonycavallaro #9News
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Yeah my poppa slapped my nanna around their entire marriage because of video games. Sure.
Opposition Leader #PeterDutton says violence against women in Australia “is getting worse”. He blames, in part, computer games “young boys are playing.” He would support a Royal Commission “or anything” to make it better. #insiders
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To the person who went crazy on my NGL accusing me of lying about my competition result. You are an idiot.
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