Scooter
@GoferScooter
Followers
74,405
Following
56
Media
90
Statuses
782
I’ve been working with 280 characters for years and now I get to do it on Twitter! Check out my Twitter Account!
Joined October 2015
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Every year at our Muppets Thanksgiving dinner, we all go around the table and say what we're thankful for. And every year we all say we're thankful for
@MissPiggy
so she doesn't throw dinner rolls at us.
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I'm thinking of repurposing my Halloween costume from last year again this year. If anyone asks, I'll tell them that last year I was Elvis and this year I'm an Elvis impersonator.
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Hiding under a desk is a great way to avoid your problems! Unless your problems are something sticky under your desk that you can't get unstuck from... Send help!
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I was so honored to be invited into a group text with Beaker, The Swedish Chef, and Animal. I have no idea what anybody is saying, so I just respond "LOL" every once in a while. So far, so confusing!
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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? ...This isn't rhetorical. We booked a wood-chucking woodchuck act and I really need to know how much lumber to order.
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@colesprouse
If you think getting dates with a name like Scooter is hard, try getting dates with a name like Scooter AND when your mom and her boyfriend KEN insist on coming along. (They’re a delight on dates but VERY picky movie-goers.)
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Everybody? Everybody! 15 seconds to the weekend, everybody! ...Give or take a few hours. Hmm, looks like they already left! Good idea!
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I love watching holiday movies so much, I forgot to be in The Muppet Christmas Carol! I was too mesmerized off-screen and missed my cue.
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The Muppet Show? It's been 39 years since the debut of The Muppet Show! Yet somehow it's still 15 seconds to curtain. Oops! That's my cue!
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I'm so self-conscious about how many exclamation marks I use in emails! I don't want it to seem like I'm coming off too eager OR too angry! Wait! ...Am I using too many exclamation marks in this tweet!? Oh no!!!!!!!!
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Lately I've been putting movies on in the background. It helps motivate me to get things done! ...So far I've been motivated to watch a lot more movies.
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Not everyone who wears glasses is a super hero in disguise. But if I was a superhero, I'd still have to wear my glasses. Without them I'd probably fly into a skyscraper.
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I love listening to podcasts! My favorite ones are about movies, self-help, and current events. My least favorite is the one
@MissPiggy
records just for me with a list of everything I have to do for her today.
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Oh, boy! I'm so excited to get home and open up the next door on my Argyle Advent Calendar! Each day in December is a different pair of socks. I'm hoping for a beige pair today!
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Sorry I haven't tweeted in a while, I've been obsessed with a new phone app. Actually, it's not that new... it's the calendar app. Did you know you could color coordinate your meetings?? Game changer!
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In my experience, most people will do just about anything for a free t-shirt. How else do you think I started working for
@TheMuppets
? (It was a really great t-shirt.)
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I tried to start a Muppets movie club where we watch a movie every week and discuss it together. It didn't go well.
@StatlerWaldorf
were the only ones who joined, and they give everything no stars.
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Calling all Twitter followers: I need help!! It's almost Fall and my coworkers have been asking what I did this summer – the problem is, I didn't do anything! Maybe if you tell me what you did, it'll give me some ideas? Go ahead, I'm taking notes.
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The Muppet Movie, 40th anniversary. Scene 1A, take one. ACTION!!! (Don't worry, I didn't clap the board on my fingers this time.)
#TheMuppetMovie40th
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I love playing games on my phone, but Animal loves playing games WITH my phone. Most recently: Tennis. Not surprisingly, now I need a new phone...
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It's soup season — and unfortunately, someone told The Swedish Chef. He's been serving soup for every meal. His breakfast soup is cereal a la crème of lutefisk.
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It’s almost show time! All five seasons of The Muppet Show are coming to
@DisneyPlus
! Starting February 19…… Places everyone!!!!!
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A few months ago, I told
@FozzieBear
he should try out comedy on TikTok. Every day since then, he's sent me a different clock themed joke. I want to tell him what I meant... but these are his best jokes in a long time.
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I don't often cut loose, but when I do it's usually with a pack of penguins. Trust me: they know what it means to be cool.
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Sometimes I get jealous of my laptop... It can fully recharge in an hour, knows everything there is to know, and it gets automatic updates to be the best version of itself!
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After I started my job as a gofer, people asked what exactly I do. It's simple: I gofer coffee, gofer sandwiches, gofer dry cleaning... things like that. Truth is, I could really gofer a vacation!
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If you're having trouble sticking to a strict schedule, consider recruiting a Muppet monster to keep you to it. The threat of being devoured is how I get everything done on time!
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Be the best version of yourself that you can be! It may take a while. That's okay; just think of that as waiting for the latest update to download.
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Every year, I supervise spring cleaning for The Muppets... and every year I'm shocked and disturbed by what's inside
@GonzotheGreat
's locker. You wouldn't believe me if I told you!
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Mom and I have been binge-watching
#TheMuppetShow
on
@DisneyPlus
since Friday. She loves seeing the guest stars, I love finally seeing what was going on onstage while I was going crazy backstage.
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It's hard to believe 2021 is almost over. Time for my annual tradition of learning the lyrics to "Auld Lang Syne" for one night before forgetting them again by next year!
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It's been 45 years since
#TheMuppetShow
debuted on U.S. TV! Hard to believe it's been so long since we first got things started... Especially because I'm still filing paperwork from the show.
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Where's my clipboard? Sounds like I'm gonna need it soon for... something!
Calling all Muppet fans! Get ready for a major and important Muppet announcement coming soon. What is it? We have no idea.
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#TBT
— Who remembers our old janitor George? I know I do! Hard to forget a face like that... no matter how many times I hit my head slipping on his waxed floors.
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Gee whiz, can you believe it's already September? It seems like August went by in a blur... Of course, for me it did. I lost my glasses a few weeks ago and since then EVERYTHING has been a blur.
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This year I'm helping
@MissPiggy
with her holiday shopping. She wants me to find a pair of earmuffs for... a certain green amphibian. But what do you get for the frog who has no ears?
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I often get asked what at typical day at work looks like for me. If I had ever had a typical day at work, I'm sure I'd have a great answer for them.
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Time to bust out my favorite Christmas sweater! It's super warm. (Probably because of the mini power generator strapped to the back.)
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I'd better figure out something to do with this weekend in case someone asks what I did this weekend. You can only answer "reorganize my desktop" so many times before people start to worry about your social life.
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Twitter followers! Only 12 hours 'til Christmas, Twitter followers! NOTE: This depends on your timezone, of course. So please read at the appropriate time.
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Working from home, I sometimes lose my cell phone in the couch cushions. It's an improvement over working at
@TheMuppets
' office where I regularly lose my phone in Animal.
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I think I may finally be out of touch with pop culture.
@MissPiggy
asked me to help her get on TikTok, so I spent the last three hours trying to get her a singing gig on Big Ben.
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When I need to get work done free of distraction, I put my headphones in... until I get distracted by what I'm listening to. It's an endless cycle.
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I usually turn subtitles on when I watch movies, just in case I can't hear every scene – and when Animal is watching a movie with me, I can't hear ANY scene.
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I got my mom cooking lessons with The Swedish Chef for Christmas. She's still filling out the liability forms!
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Twitter followers! Twitter followers? Three days 'til Christmas, Twitter followers!
(Thought you could use a countdown in case your mom also decided NOT to get you an advent calendar this year...)
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A lot of my coworkers make fun of me for riding a scooter to work since my name is Scooter. Well joke's on them, because my scooter's name is "Sports Car!"
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Happy
#LeapDay
! You've got an extra 24 hours to do whatever you want! And when
@GonzotheGreat
is involved, the emphasis is always on the whatever.
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My favorite thing to do in October is watch scary movies. I've already watched 10! (Actually I've put on 20, but I watch them from under a blanket and behind the couch, so I've only seen about half of each one.)
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Here at
@TheMuppets
we're always looking for talent -- new, old, short, tall, classical, avant-garde, comical, dramatic and everything in between. If you have any of these symptoms, see us… or consult your physician.
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Need to clear your head? Try taking a nice long walk outside. Reconnect with nature. Wave to your neighbors. Get away from mom while she's video chatting with her boyfriend Ken... Blech!
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I'm preparing the menu for my big game party tomorrow! Not the football game, my epic role-playing game! It's set in the high-octane world of a 1980s corporate auditing. Talk about thrills!!
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In my job, it's tough to stay organized. I keep files on all my coworkers, and it's very easy to mix them up... especially when those coworkers are dozens of chickens, a flotilla of rats, and 15 penguins (at last count).
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I'd love to get a pair of those nifty wireless headphones. Guess I should've dropped that hint before the holiday. Oh well, it's never too early to start hinting for next Christmas.
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It's a shame that the only time you can be in chess club or AV club is in school. At least I think that's the only time since no one seems interested in joining the chess club or AV club I started last month.
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Every Friday at 4:59:45 PM, I rush into the office and say, "Coworkers? Coworkers! 15 seconds to the weekend, Coworkers!"
...And I'm sure my coworkers would love when I do that if they hadn't all left at 3.
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An
#AprilFools
Day reminder: Never, ever try to pull a prank on Joe from Legal. Last year I replaced his legal briefs with boxers, and he's been trying to take me to court ever since.
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They say if you love your job, you'll never work a day in your life. In my case, I love my job and I work every single day, including weekends and most bank holidays... and I wouldn't have it any other way!
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Phew! I finally finished organizing all the presents I got this year. Everyone gave me just what I wanted: tube socks & eyeglass cleaner! I'm lookin' good from head to toe!
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#NewYearsEve
is probably my favorite day of the year. I'm so ready to count down to midnight, then immediately hang my 2022 calendar, prep my 2022 tax forms, and create my 2022 to-do list! Who says I don't know how to have fun? (Everybody...)
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Working from home, I find that I misplace my keys a lot less than I used to. Probably something to do with the fact that Animal isn't here to have them for dessert.
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This Halloween, I'm doing something new at my house: Trick or Trivia! If kids pick trivia, instead of candy I'll give them a fun fact about the holiday! I'm not worried about them picking trick – because who wouldn't want a fun fact??
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I wish I could grow a mustache. Unfortunately I don't have a nose, so I wouldn't know where to put it.
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This weekend I bought a new board game! I'll get to play it in about two weeks. I always memorize every word of the rule book before I even touch the board. I wonder why it's so hard to find other players?
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I got so many projects done around the house this weekend! And I do mean AROUND the house. I accidentally locked myself out, so I did some gardening around the house while waiting for the locksmith.
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The Muppets have always believed in compromise. Whatever
@MissPiggy
wants, the rest of us compromise to make it happen.
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Not a lot of
@TheMuppets
wear glasses. Last night I accidentally put on Dr. Honeydew's x-ray specs. Some things you just can't unsee.
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The Devil Wears Prada. I identify with Anne Hathaway's character because I work with... well, let's just say she dresses well.
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Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched? ......Oh, sorry if I'm making you feel like you're being watched! I'm just trying to find some new talented acts. Can anyone out there juggle cactus?
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I’m in charge of organizing this year’s Muppet holiday party! For some reason, none of my coworkers volunteered… Oh well, more work is the best gift a go-fer could ask for!
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Beware of
#AprilFoolsDay
pranks, especially if you work with
@SpicyPrawn
and
@Rizzo
. They told me I got a greenlight for a sitcom all about my life called "Scoot Over, It's Scooter" — but it was just a gag! I wrote all of those spec scripts for nothing...
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I think Friday just might be my favorite day of the week. Everyone leaves work early on Friday, so I get to take on all their unfinished tasks! It's a workaholic's dream come true!
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My email hasn't been working and I've been on the phone with Chip the IT Guy about it for over an hour now. He's not having much luck trying to contact the "emailman"…
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Do you think if I start riding a skateboard at work everybody will start calling me "Skateboard" instead of Scooter? It sounds much cooler, right?
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My boss
@KermitTheFrog
insisted I get a Twitter account to help book more talent on
#TheMuppets
. Boy, Mom is NOT going to be happy!
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I've nearly made it through my entire movie watchlist! It's mostly movies I've seen before, but this time I'm supposed to look out for roles that would've been better if
@MissPiggy
had played them. Yeesh!
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I love watching recipe videos online, but they all move too fast and I can't keep up! By the time they've finished the recipe I've given up trying and just ordered takeout instead.
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People are always asking me who my favorite celebrity I've ever worked with is — and I just can't say! It's too hard to choose and
@MissPiggy
will never forgive me if I don't say her.
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They say you can't please everybody... but have you tried bringing a bunch of free pizzas to a large group? Everybody was pretty darn pleased last time I did that!
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Today is "Take a Walk In Someone Else's Shoes" Day at work! I'm taking a walk in
@KermitTheFrog
's shoes – but he doesn't wear shoes, so I'm barefoot. Unfortunately today is also "Drop Thumbtacks On The Floor" Day. Gulp.
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#MuppetsHauntedMansion
is our scariest production ever! You try arranging catering for 999 happy haunts who all want something different!
#HalfwayToHalloween
Welcome foolish mortals to
#MuppetsHauntedMansion
! 👻 Our all-new
@DisneyPlus
Original Special is streaming this fall.
#HalfwayToHalloween
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I do all my own stunts! That may not sound impressive, but you try dodging Animal’s drumstick while carrying
@MissPiggy
's latte and tiptoeing through
@GonzotheGreat
's tapioca garden! No wonder I can’t get health insurance.
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I once asked
@MissPiggy
for help refining my personal brand. She told me "Bland is not a brand, sweetie." Pretty solid advice.
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#MuppetsHauntedMansion
, an Original Special, starts streaming October 8 only on
@DisneyPlus
! I’m going to have to cover my eyes for most of it, but don’t let that scare you off.
#Hallowstream
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#TheMuppets
in the
#MacysParade
are only minutes away on NBC! (Depending on your local listings.)
@Macys
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I often have trouble focusing at work with my noisy coworkers. I tried noise cancelling headphones, but then I can't hear it when someone yells "Get down, here comes
@GonzotheGreat
on a wrecking ball…. THUD!" Maybe noise isn't a bad thing after all.
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When I told my optometrist how many times I get hit in the face with boomerang fish, she recommended 3D glasses. It won't protect me, but it sure will make getting hit in the face with a fish look a whole lot cooler.
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They say talk is cheap. Clearly, whoever "they" are never met
@MissPiggy
. Unless you're taking her coffee order or paying her a compliment, she charges by the minute for every conversation.
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Beware of phone scams! I nearly paid for a year long extension on my clipboard warranty that wasn't real! Luckily I recognized
@Rizzo
and
@SpicyPrawn
's voices before sending them any money.
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#HollywoodHowTo
– It's important to make yourself irreplaceable at your job. That's why I'm the only one who knows the WiFi password AND the only one who knows the secret lullaby that gets Animal to go to sleep.
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#AuditionTips
: Don't be afraid to bribe the casting director with some donuts at your audition. Especially if that casting director is me.
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I've been so busy this week! I've been pre-writing 2023 on all of my checks just to be safe. Sure, I didn't write a single check last year... but better safe than sorry.
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When it comes to procrastinating, there's no time like the present! So stop what you're doing and enjoy my new
#ThoughtOfTheWeek
!
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I saw a movie with Lew Zealand last night. I loved it, but Lew thought it needed more boomerang fish... so he threw them at the screen every 15 minutes. I can't argue with him, it did make the movie more engaging!
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Halloween is right around the corner and I can't wait to show off my costume. I'm going as a coffee barista so instead of just delivering the drinks I'll finally get a chance to make them! ...It's the little things.
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@DisneyStyle
@MissPiggy
@unclebydeadly
@ElectricMayhem
@disneyplus
@FozzieBear
@TheMuppets
@SpicyPrawn
@KermitTheFrog
@joshuatbassett
Aw chief, you really shouldn't have gone to so much effort! A whole billboard to thank me? You shouldn't have! (You also shouldn't have told me you'd never need me to teach you Photoshop.)
#MuppetsNow
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This week I'm working on my beatboxing skills! Actually, one skill in particular: trying to find a rhyme for Scooter that isn't computer. I took up beatboxing to look cooler, not nerdier!
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I just realized I spent all of Sam Eagle's morality meeting playing games on my phone. Now the birds are angry in real life AND on my phone!
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Nobody will support you like your mom. And nobody will drop hints about you mentioning them in your
#ThoughtOfTheWeek
more than your mom either.
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