Jack Profound
@godisangryatme
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Chairman, J Profound Company, headquartered in Milwaukee Wisconsin.
Joined January 2021
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Lot smaller than I imagined
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If I was a detective I’d probably be like “come on tellllll meeeee “
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They should let you walk around with a beer in IKEA
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What the goddam fuck is that holy fuck
Thai people LOVE having a local wild animal they feed pork skewers to
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Had to kick out a violent schizophrenic guy at work today and of all the insanity he spewed, what cut me deepest was when he said “you look like you play magic the gathering”
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rolling up to the cowboys game tailgate and deploying my tactical cholos
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Overheard a guy decline free coke because he has a class at 4pm tomorrow
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My worst nightmare was a gorilla chasing me with a huge sword but when he caught me he handed the sword to me and bowed his head and I just lost control and hacked his neck over and over and he was screaming and blood was everywhere
I found my worst nightmare. I can smell the patchouli through this
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How I be in the pussy!!
#nocap
A diagram of how John Edward Jones was stuck for 27 hours in nutty putty cave before passing away.
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My wife saves me so much time with things like this
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I’m so glad I didn’t kill myself 4 years ago. I have watched so much TV since then
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Imagine Josh Allen just hucking this little woman 52 yards in the air to Stefan Diggs for the TD
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The most autistic guy you know talks like this
This sort of deep man voice has become almost completely extinct
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Everyone Joshing around gave me a headache, luckily I got this Justin time
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Which intrepid young Vietnamese man shall be summoned to deliver me Wendy’s pretzel bacon pub?
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When I can’t watch the mavericks game because of region blocking I make my wife put on my dirk jersey and pretend to play basketball
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A squad has never rolled this deep before. This is fucking crazy
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Hey if you’re going to TJ Maxx anyway, can you pick me up a pair of Kenneth Cole reaction active wear slacks and a strange jar of some type of chocolate with a big fuckin ribbon on it
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Me telling my wife our adopted half orc son has not taken his nap yet
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First time I drank (one half a modelo) I saw this pic on Facebook and cried
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My boss just told me that he’s trying to get into Tool but the music videos are too scary
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I’m gonna start making these in the smoke shop when I buy a mint vape, a cart and 3 Red Bulls
grown man setting his camera up in a target to shop for groceries 💔💔💔💔
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Dude looks like a good hang. Sue me
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Took 4 caffeine tablets and just been pacing around my office sitting down and pulling up this image and then pacing around again
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I am done with chipotle. I can’t do this anymore. I give and I give and I give and all they do is take.
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Attention whore
Monk meditates in freezing temperatures in the Himalayas
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The best day of my life was the day my grandma bought a Wii for us without telling my mom and me and my mentally handicapped uncle played “African Safari Photographer” for 15 hours straight until my mom came home and found us crying because we messed up a pic of a water Buffalo
No kid remembers their best day in front of the TV.
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@noofriendo
He told my sous chef he looks like he asks for anesthesia when getting a tattoo. He fried our asses hard
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Life is so long. What am I supposed to do with the rest of it. I’ve already eaten so many sandwiches
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Text from wife: eating the smallest most tiny ice cream cone in the world
Text from boss: hey before you lock up tonight can you please hang yourself with the rope I left in your office
Text from mentally handicapped uncle: tbell sonding good tonite
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When your girlfriend is so horny you start getting scared
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@ImBillRay
20 dollars for a scoop of rice and 5 dried steak chunks. I know I’m the fool but my God
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I hate my job at the Getting Blown Into A Million Pieces factory
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What’s a show that’s like black mirror but doesn’t suck
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I liked chewing on the corner of the wall
If you liked Ancient Greece as a child you are probably left wing, if you liked Ancient Rome you are probably right wing
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@jakebrodes
Due to laundry disaster I once had to wear 6 year old boxers while fertilizing a shopping center lawn and pole nuts and hole were ravaged
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Couple interesting nba games on tonight fella maybe check those out
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Knew a girl who worked at firehouse subs who looked like this
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Do not project your carnal failings onto the muppets. Please.
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My life’s dream is to be honored like this by a choir of children except they’re singing the incorrect words to Float On and they’re all playing 2k
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Girlfriends love to wait until you’ve had ten beers to ask you to make them food
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Too scary
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2 beers: Grand Budapest Hotel is my favorite Wes Anderson movie
4 beers: Darjeeling limited is my favorite Wes Anderson movie
6 beers: Life Aquamtic is my favorite West Anderson Movie
8 Beers: Rushmore bro. Rusmore is gas bruh it’s so good man rushmore man
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@Lekocks_Locks
And she’d bounce off the back of Quentin Johnson’s helmet into the hands of the defense
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I miss my Dallas barber who was always at least 4 Modelos deep and watching fast and furious on a jailbroken fire stick no matter if I came in at 10am or 4pm
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He looks like he can do a crazy trick on the trampoline
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My favorite thing to do is come to this bar and drink 6 cans of Miller lite
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jerry seinfeld actually spoke out against diddy’s crimes back when he was 17. you can google jerry seinfeld 17 year old to see the whole story
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They should make a game about managing a gas station
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I like when the fat people dance in the diabetes medication commercials. It’s good to see those poor souls have joy
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White guys who shop at lidz are the closest thing this country has to wandering samurai.
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When I can’t watch the mavericks game because of region blocking I make my wife put on my dirk jersey and pretend to play basketball
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Weekend vibes
California man drives to Utah to kill brother, set fire to his home before dying in police shootout
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I can’t wait to get home from work and wear my new hat
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This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life
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First dude to cook a potato was probably like “I fuckin told you”
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