clubmoss_ Profile Banner
phage Profile
phage

@clubmoss_

Followers
7K
Following
59K
Media
11K
Statuses
34K

Albany, NY
Joined April 2018
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@clubmoss_
phage
5 months
$22 sandwich should be illegal. If I was president all sandwiches would be hard-capped at $9.
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
first date idea: i throw your keys off a cliff
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
your employer should buy your lunch every day at no cost to your income.
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
Bro just be horny normal style.
@KILLTOPARTY
“Bad” Billy Pratt
1 year
The aristocratic elegance of the small breasted woman
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
first thanksgiving cooking alone! anyway, phone is about to die. ttyl!
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
noopy btw if you even care
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
Was walking outside with my phone unlocked in my hand and accidentally took this picture of an owl
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
I am in the top .01% of listening to women.
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
first thanksgiving cooking alone! anyway, phone is about to die. ttyl!
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
first thanksgiving cooking alone! anyway, phone is about to die. ttyl!
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
The CDC now recommends putting a glass of water on your nightstand before you go to sleep in case you wake up thirsty in the middle of the night.
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
he is doing it again
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
Women will “no, exactly” each other into a parallel universe.
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
I’m a situational smoker—If there’s a situation, i’m smoking.
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@clubmoss_
phage
6 months
Power is growing. Harness it and achieve your dreams
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
When i see sandwich
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
getting a woman’s number at the bar and texting her “are you mad at me” the moment she leaves.
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
The 4 gf options
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
Most people don’t realize how dishwashers actually work
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@clubmoss_
phage
10 months
Got fired from my new traffic stripes job after one day
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@clubmoss_
phage
10 months
The same people on facebook who claimed to “know the truth about the vaccine” and can “see through the government’s lies” are commenting on photos like this now saying “Wow! Where is this??”
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
You are a disgusting sicko if you think she shouldn’t set a precedent here.
@PopBase
Pop Base
1 year
Taylor Swift is said to be considering legal action against the deepfake website that generated explicit AI images of her which circulated online, Daily Mail reports.
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
Backshots at Ooh Aah Point
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@clubmoss_
phage
11 months
When I was at a Kansas gas station, I was talking with the cashier and said i was from Upstate NY. He then had the audacity to say “look at those things, they’re called trees”. Bro… 63% of my states land is covered by them and only 5% of your states land is 😭😭😭
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
dudes will be like “get in lol”
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@clubmoss_
phage
10 months
When people say they need sugar in their water to drink it
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
this bear is just kinda chillen lol
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@clubmoss_
phage
11 months
Hop on in you can just move those over
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
could you eat half a sandwich for $1 million?
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
If you’re 20-30 and your circle isn’t discussing. •favorite sandwich .•pickled onions.•mayo.•side pickle and chips.•whether to save half for later . Then it’s time to find a new circle because it’s lunch time.
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
Happy International Women’s Day 😍
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@clubmoss_
phage
8 months
You never know what will set someone off
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@clubmoss_
phage
8 months
Summer vibes
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
Hop in, just move the black obsidian over
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@clubmoss_
phage
9 months
Why is this beagle not stopping and smelling everything? I don’t think this is right. .
@contextdogs
out of context dogs
1 year
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
I love to say “Hello beautiful fern”
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
Waitress spilled an entire tray of drinks on me and another guest at the table. Not a big deal really, soaked but stayed. At the end she said “i felt so bad for that, so i hooked you up by not charging you for the extra sauces.” Somehow felt more insulting than no discount.
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
if this is you, DM me
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
this is so funny
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@clubmoss_
phage
6 months
“Not really a fan of this”
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
once i got suspended and just started writing “tweets” in a journal until I came back on a new account
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
birds be like: . brilliant plumage bf dull, brown gf.
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
checking the time before i walk into petsmart and release all the animals
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
You should be able to pay for the bar tab with raw materials.
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
This was the most infuriating thing i had ever seen on here
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@clubmoss_
phage
9 months
Music taste gap relationship.
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@clubmoss_
phage
10 months
Mmmm yup 👍 that’s mud
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
This interaction is why I don’t use dating apps anymore
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@clubmoss_
phage
11 months
No Jeremy, I do not think I will be adding you on facebook today
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
have a great day everyone
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
A playground built in 1973. We used to be a country. A proper country.
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
This would work on me
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
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@clubmoss_
phage
10 months
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
incredibly helpful reference for anyone wanting to learn piano!
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
Girl are you a Rothko cause I need to see you in person.
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
nvm! there was some guy down there who tossed em back up 👍
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@clubmoss_
phage
11 months
You wouldn’t download the Mark Twain National Forest
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@clubmoss_
phage
11 months
I love logging on facebook and immediately seeing a 46yo share this
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
lol
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
my gf’s tv is way too small
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@clubmoss_
phage
10 months
And what of it?
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
had my phone unlocked and in my hand while taking a walk and accidentally took this photo
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@clubmoss_
phage
9 months
Me staring at my hummingbird feeder i put up 90 seconds ago
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
It’s actually crazy how much i prove the haters and non-believers wrong
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
I’m thinking sandwich lunch.
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
Me after eating a big sandwich
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@clubmoss_
phage
8 months
Oh so i’m a worthless piece of shit?
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@clubmoss_
phage
11 months
Deleting this before it gets ruined
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
me drinking me after drinking.2-12 beers 2-12 beers
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
@aadityad9 Because i am an incel and they should be falling in love with me rather than creating burrito tape.
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
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@clubmoss_
phage
9 months
Never trust anyone
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@clubmoss_
phage
5 months
“Sandwich quality would go down”.Wrong. I would mandate that sandwich quality goes up.
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
not sure who needs this but here are your seasonal frog calls before they start really hitting it hard out there
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@clubmoss_
phage
7 months
Tater tot cheeseburgers
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@clubmoss_
phage
6 months
Setting my alarm. Important day tomorrow!
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
How pathetic do you have to be to get upset by reading a woman’s expression of happiness and gratitude for feeling she is in a better situation than she was before?
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
Yes, I am interested.
@ModernAgUpdates
Modern Agriculture Updates
2 years
Fish-rice integration is exciting. You harvest both fishes and rice on the same land. Are you interested?
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@clubmoss_
phage
3 years
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@clubmoss_
phage
11 months
The real reason he isn’t texting you back
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
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@clubmoss_
phage
11 months
Kansas vs New York
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
If you really need to close your burrito, just sear it on the pan. Not that hard. And if not, just fold it well and use your hands. Very simple really
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
Upstate NY is so goated
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@clubmoss_
phage
10 months
How it feels liking her tweet
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
I have never, ever, charged someone for a round of drinks spilled by the fault of an employee while working at a bar/restaurant. Spilled drinks on customer = free round imo.
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
dating apps are miserable. need the world to open up again
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@clubmoss_
phage
4 years
Sarah Huckabee Sanders was at the Arkansas Phish show last night
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
The worst part of any day is turning off the duck lamp
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
fire department is outside?? wonder what happened lol anyway i can’t breathe
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
First date idea: I throw your keys off a cliff
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
Oh yeah one of the drinks that spilled was red and stained a woman at the table’s white skirt in probably the most unfortunate place a woman could have a red stain. That alone should’ve been a free meal for her at the very least.
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@clubmoss_
phage
5 months
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@clubmoss_
phage
10 months
Cape Cod Curbing reduces the amount of time salamanders are on the road, directly reducing mortality rates from vehicles
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@clubmoss_
phage
1 year
How it feels to order boneless wings and a Modelo at Chili’s
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
@egobeastREAL All women are my top women 😍.
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@clubmoss_
phage
2 years
@Uwyphi The source is me. This is a fake article.
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