🕸️ grumpy ghoul 🕷️
@ghoul_grumpy
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mama wiccan || teacher/RBT in the making || aspiring mortician || the ghoul of your dreams || edgar allan poe hoe || horror&chill?
Cemetery ⚰️
Joined November 2023
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Pinned Tweet
last night jellyroll said, “theres a reason the windshield is so much bigger than the rear view” what’s coming is so much more important than what’s behind us. I needed that reminder and maybe some of y’all do as well. the futures are bright even when our past is not.
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@Violetsrnotblu
This post randomly popped up on my timeline and I just wanna say that an apology without changed behavior is just manipulation.
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yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about “lying” to my kids about santa. it brings such magic to the holidays and the world is dumb enough soooo i’m going to let them believe in the fat man in the red suit.
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@yourfrienddana
Pretty sure from my
development class it’s around 6-7 months after the relationship is established between you and the person.
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@mamahailz
ours literally just move spots and leave cute notes and sometimes cookies. The extremes and chaos people do is just like 😩😩😩
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@mdwstdietcoke
I actually hate these type of women …. like what even. plus the paint is gonna flake off when the toddler begins chewing on the darn things!!!
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everyone talks about the newborn scrunch but can we just talk about the toddler whole body melts into you when they give you a hug thing
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them: how’s living on a military base?
me; well, the MPs are currently looking for a man who is running around on all fours in the dark in our neighborhood so that about sums it up.
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being chronically ill makes you feel like you’re a prisoner in your body who was sentenced to life without a possibility of parole.
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a party bus but with hot cocoa and you drive around looking at christmas lights
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Food for thought:
“No amount of "nice" makes an unsafe person safe.
No amount of "sorry" makes a person who doesn't understand or believe they did something hurtful, safe.
No amount of "but they're family" makes an unsafe person safe.”
-Dr. Glenn Doyle
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my 5 yr old just asked to cut off a piece of my and her hair for a “craft.”…… YEAH a craft… WITCH CRAFT. 💀😂
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i’m not a nice person.
i’m a good person and no i won’t be explaining what i mean
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@lilstonermom29
@Coloradomomof2_
the bigger the account, the worst the human often is 💀 and you’re always bullied or harassed for not liking them but down the road, something is exposed and suddenly everyone realizes you were right all along!!!
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book store in the middle of the montana mountains?! say less i’m never leaving . 🏔️🤍
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*watching the live santa tracker with the kids*
6 yr old: where is he now?
me: baghdad
her: HE PUT WHOSE DAD IN WHAT BAG????
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i just seen a podcaster ask her husband how many times have you wanted to hit me but refrained? and they both laughed and i’m like ????? THATS NOT FUNNY???? wanting to hit your partner when you’re angry is not funny.
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i don’t condone random violence but ill tell you whaaaat if a kid is constantly harassing my kid and the school won’t handle it… my kid has full permission to just deck em. i’ll deal with the school and take them out to icecream later for protecting themselves 🤷🏻♀️😬
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saw these on pinterest and it made me sad….i wish the doctor who episode where amy takes him and shows him the impact his art made really happened 😭😭😭🌻💙💙💙💛💛💛💛💛
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new account. if i follow you, we’ve been following eachother on my other acco. i promise im not a weirdo in that way 🥲🫶🏻✨
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i love how the creators of bluey used the voices of their actual kiddos but you can’t find their pictures or names on any sort of search engine because the creators wanted to protect them and allow them a normal life 🥹🥹🥹🥹
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oh no our elves have found themselves rejected by bone daddy.
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now that i’m a parent, i fully understand the parents that just went to those present wrapping stations that they had in the malls in the 90s.
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every time i have to bag my own groceries i do it like someone is holding a gun to my head and FOR WHAT?!
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i don’t bother people until i am bothered and then i take it too far but im a firm believer in that you should of just left me alone in the first place 🥸
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if someone says you have hurt them, you don’t get to tell them you didn’t.
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One of my college professors is going to receive a coloring page of Rudolph instead of my assignment as a submission today because I goofed. I hope they enjoy it.
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please tell me that people have a pile of clothes that have been worn but also aren’t dirty yet to get washed yet
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@wootiex
I don’t post selfies on here but I have BPD and anxiety and frankly, After years of shame and isolation i’m proud to be who i am even when days suck. 🫶🏻
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not to be dramatic but i would die for this duck
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don’t have relationships with people who make you feel like you have to hide your stuffie animals
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@cajxxxx
She can’t be a real teacher….. I refuse to believe that she does those type of photos and videos in her classroom and hasn’t been fired when teachers who simply have an Onlyfans, (not acting sexual in the actual classroom) have gotten fired.
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this new account is a nice blend of the horror, teacher, anime, animal crossing, “nerd,” communities. feels nice.
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have you ever talked to a students parent and realized the apple fell directly under the tree? like no bounce. no roll. right under it.
#teachertwitter
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i have decided with a peaceful spirit, loving heart and a clear mind that some people still in fact really do need their asses beat
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I swear military housing is built with deadly stairs because they want you to risk your life going up and down them everyday so eventually you’ll die and they can give your house to someone else on the housing wait list 💀
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it’s wild to think that periods aren’t considered a valid reason to miss work/school…. as if we don’t bleed at least 2 cups worth of blood out and sometimes even more and as if the cramps can’t get so bad that you pass out.
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oh lauren plz be for real. christmas is a pagan holiday and not even remotely close to the actual birthday of jesus.
Try teaching them that Christmas is about… oh, idk… Jesus?
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every time an article is released about someone dying related to dental decay / infection it’s always a very judgment filled “omg get your teeth taken care of!!!!” as if dental insurance is affordable for most americans and also a scam even if you have it.
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I still have a split in half eraser a student gave me one year. Some people should not be teachers. It’s gross to see so many not in the field for the right reasons.
After seeing all these teachers complaining about their gifts they got this year (& yeah some of them are cheap, but others are so thoughtful) it really makes me reconsider even giving a present. I’ve seen teachers throwing away stuff, calling gifts junk, etc. Makes me sad.
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🎅🏼🎄🌟🎁🎅🏼🎄🌟🎁🎅🏼
🎄 2 8 D A Y S 🌟
🎁 L E F T U N T I L 🎅🏼
🎄 C H R I S T M A S ! 🌟
🎅🏼🎄🌟🎁🎅🏼🎄🌟🎁🎅🏼
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can my 2 year old son poop on the potty? no. but by golly he knows that NFL symbol and screams football when he sees it on the tv.
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7 days til Gypsy Rose is out of prison. I’m so happy. 🤎
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PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER
something i have discovered this christmas is that no one aged 27-35 has seen this movie
2K
2K
43K
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you know your children have pure hearts of gold when they tell you that they wish the krampus would come so they could give him a hug and a compliment so he knows he’s cared about too.
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if you think this position sucks, it just means the dick sucked in all reality because it’s truly top tier.
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idc what you say, moms should be allowed a free tummy tuck and boob job after babies. this shit DESTROYS our bodies.
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i don’t think i have a southern accent until i hear myself say w-2 form then im appalled
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don’t let haters prevent you from sharing your spotify 2023 wrapped. i like seeing what yall listen to🥰🖤
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being a kid before social media is something i wish my kids could have known.
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normal people: yeah that toy/photo is definitely haunted. not today satan!
me: i love it. i think ill buy it and hang it right here on my wall.
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hate being asked my astrological sign
i'm a sign from Baphomet himself, start running
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military base fb groups be like: “hey guys i know it’s like midnight but we are moving to germany in the morning and was wondering how to get our passports and if anyone wants to take our 12 cats because we can’t take them with. :( TIA🫶🏻”
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my 6 yr old; i love the part when the grinch steals all the christmas stuff from the Who’s.
me; oh you mean when he gives it all back?
her; ….no the part when he’s going to throw it all off the cliff to ruin christmas
….oh
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tis the season to run on pure spite and the sugary goodness of hot coco and marshmallows
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i told my kids i was just done with the day and my 6 year old responded, “I know what you need…. you need
@MrBallen
videos.”
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here comes amazon,
here comes amazon,
right down my drivewayyy🤭🎄🎅🏻☺️
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if your partner refuses to wear matching pajamas with you this christmas, i have to say that i think that they just straight up don’t like you nor want to see your happy😬
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shut up. book stores are staying opened and are lively again. let’s focus on that.
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can i have a webmd/healthline wrapped? to see how many times i googled why my tummy hurt and if my migraine is a brain tumor this year?
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“I’m not a mean girl. I love having friends and making friends, but y’all intentions be so evil and impure. People will literally get around you just to see how you living and talk about you. I’m so scared to let people into my space now.” facts.
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men falling asleep with youtube on full blast right next to your ear should be illegal
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sorry i didn’t reply for 6 hours. i was busy watching bottle breaking asmr
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it’s almost 2024 it’s time to acknowledge that yes, us white latinas actually exist.
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bpd is so ugly
but i just wanted to say the positive side of it to prove we aren’t just “rage monsters” — we are exceptionally resilient, hyper-empathic and compassionate, passionate, loyal and protective, curious and creative, bold and spontaneous.
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toddler: mom i wanna watch that one movie where they fight with long colored glowing suckers
me:🤨 .....do you mean star wars!??
toddler: yes the war in the stars movies
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brb gotta check life360 and snapchat map to see how my sims are doing
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i hope u have explosive diarrhea in traffic if u teach ur kids to tell other kids santa isn’t real, or if u go out of ur way to directly tell kids santa isn’t real. 🖕🏻😃 you miserable thief of joy people truly make keeping the magic of christmas alive really hard.
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glad my ex cheated on me my new life cool as heck 😭😭😭😭
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i miss living in a town that had more cows and corn fields than people
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I ain't clearing no rumors I probably did do it, and if I didn't I might
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@Mommy_vader
I was 12 at a sleepover in a cabin and all the girls fell asleep but I stayed up alllll night and watched the entire anime💀😭😂
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seeing my brother go from heavy addiction to being sober and an amazing father is the best christmas present i’ve ever received
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@chelseahateyou
“You can think what you want” is such a tell that you are absolutely correct to think what you think 😂😂😂
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never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be. 🌱
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i’d unclench my jaw and relax my
shoulders but i will probably dissolve like cotton candy in the rain.
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my 5 yr old: when you die, can i have your markers and your cozy socks
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“i saw mommy kissing santaaa claus”
my 7 year old brain: “oh she’s having an affair.”
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santa baby, put some food stamps under the tree for meee🎶
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