Gary Baldi
@gazeeebo64
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3,012
Following
1,651
Media
7,923
Statuses
176,993
Rose tinted view of the past, contradicted a lot by old TOTP. I have about a dozen pairs of DMs. Enthusiastic attitude to drinking.
Barnet, London
Joined December 2009
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
That Samsung hashtag,
#dowhatyoucant
, sounds like it kicking off in an east end pub.
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Look at the name of the reporter the BBC have sent to report on panic fuel buying.
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Did everyone have aunties who had a tissue or hanky stored on the cuff of their cardigan?
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Is Pritti Patel's heart available?
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The President at my social club is 95. He did national service 46-48 but due to a mix up never got his medal. A friend of mine contacted the MOD and after a few calls they determined he was indeed due. Yesterday I had the honour of presenting it to him.
We both broke down!!
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Just remember my good deed yesterday. Saw woman drop her ID pass as she got in the lift. Ran, picked it up and went to hand it to her. Missed her hand and it dropped down the lift shaft.
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16 has just been dumped by his first girlfriend. He's bawling. Welcome to the world buddy.
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Was going to stay off the wine tonight. Just found out my friend died. He felt ill Thursday. Kept falling over but did not want to leave his ill mum so did not go to hospital. Also found another mate has weeks to live. What a day. Be nice people. We're not here for long xx.
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@paulkenyonTV
Would you not be better off investigating the massive frauds perpetrated by the current government than a tik tok influencer?
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These possible family gatherings at Christmas, they're not mandatory are they?
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Who's that gutlord marching? You should cut down on your pork life mate, get some exercise.
Hyde Parklife
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Just had a poo in the garden, so I could use a doc leaf to save on toilet roll. When I finished I stood up and all my neighbours were clapping me. It's that blitz spirit that will see us through.
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What kind of maniac responds to an email with a phone call?
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I paid 19.90 for two gin and tonics last night and I'm not sure I'll ever recover.
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"OK Fred, Velma, and Daphne. Name one of the Big Five game animals in Africa."
"Rhino."
"I know you do, Scooby, but it's not your turn."
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Mate put off going to the Dr. He didn't want to add to their burden. Went 10 days ago. He passed away this evening. If you need the Dr please go and take care of yourselves and those around you.
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If only the same vigour was applied to billionaires and corporations. One successful case would likely recover more than all these.
BBC News - DWP take Cheshire woman's inheritance over supermarket job
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I'm guessing the BBC would have chosen a different tee shirt.
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This came up on FB. What a wedding dress and has there ever been a bad picture of Bowie?
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A huge roll of bubble wrap was delivered at work. I asked the boss where she wanted it. "just pop it in the corner" she said. Took me four hours.
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Thought I'd share these pictures posted on my golf club's WhatsApp from this morning.
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Does anyone else spend all day just looking forward to going back to bed?
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I just saw a guy buying loads of San Miguel, paella, manchego cheese, serrano ham and rioja. I thought Hispanic buying.
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Never go to a pub quiz with
@jamajestical
During the geography round she just says 'It could be Rotterdam or anywhere, Liverpool or Rome'. No fucking help at all.
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If this guy remembers his pin then he's a better man than I am Gunga Din.
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Could he have walked another way, what was he wearing, had his policies caused harm to thousands?
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Oh dear. Just found a loo selfie from last night. Don't drink kidz.
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Getting prepared to go have a camera up my rear end. May need to rethink the tee shirt.
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Quite a few people have told me today is Blue Monday. I've asked them all "How does it feel?" and no one has got it.
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Last night I made a lamb curry. Didn't touch it, apparently they prefer grass.
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When it's someone's birthday in the house they choose a succulent meal and I pay. When it's mine they choose a succulent meal and I pay. Have I got this right?
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Mate passed from cancer today. If you're feeling unwell or have any doubts get checked.
#letskickcancerinthebollox
.
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Just got a note I'll be sent bowel cancer screening kit soon. Remember a friend who placed a whole turd in a tupperware box with a note saying he couldn't fit it in the little tube.
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Just had my jab. Far too young but they said they've started selecting the most handsome.
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Off to working men's club summer party. Always try and wear pink as it winds up some dinosaurs. Need to work on my smile. Peace out motherfuckers.
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Thank you all so much for checking in on me. You are the best of twitter. Be discharged shortly. Much love xx.
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Just on the way to ICU but purely as a precaution. Thanks all xx.
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Call me cynical but those people who had to get outside for their exercise seemed to have fucked off now the temperature has dropped.
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Just got denied a delivery from Amazon for a bottle of booze cos I had no id. I'm 56.
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I expressed surprise that the blood thinning injection I have to administer into my stomach didn't hurt. The nurse said it's because I'm fat.
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@_Sazzle_me
@tit_aness
It's actually for the horse. They are notoriously bad at selfies cos hooves.
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People do know they don't have to watch TV shows they find shit don't they?
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Friend on FB posted this from the care home his aunt is in. Not sure the Halloween decorations have been thought through.
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Not sure if I've shared this before. My Dad knew a photographer and asked him to make it look like I was outside a cathedral.
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17 who would not have the vaccine has the covid. Seems inevitable the rest of the household will and it has fucked Xmas in the arse. Dry.
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OH just got a text from a woman saying she's having people round for her birthday, but keep it quiet. She works for a charity that goes into care homes. I'm struggling to comprehend people.
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I was just reminded how my mum used to turn carrier bags inside out as she refused to advertise for the supermarkets.
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Superman bi, Bond female / black. Now to end it all I've got a pink canulla I mean reeeaaaallllyyy.
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The bloke who never brings cakes, biscuits, food treats etc in, but has his own plate for when others do, is complaining about the selection of chocolates someone has brought in.
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Finally got confirmation of new job, new boss, lovely woman and 25% pay rise. Whoo fucking Whoo. Ain't no one gonna bring me down.
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I just don't get the concept of criminalising homelessness. Can anyone break it down for me?
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Said to a friend last night that due to weight loss my ring is loose and I'm having to use a different finger. He stopped saying MATRONNNNNNNN about 5 minutes ago.
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Anyone else think this looks like a cat or dog in this bowl of suds?
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Things are pretty awful at the moment. To rub salt in the wound I'm just off to my third funeral in two weeks.
Spread love and take care of those close to you and those who might be feeling vulnerable right now.
X.
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That Fever Tree ad that says 3/4 of your drink is the mixer, not here hombre, not here.
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Twenty one years since Baldy junior was born. She makes me proud every day.
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Fancy shirt, red troos, favourite DMs. Must be party time. Don't wait up, I've got my keys.
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He's been staring at me in this position for about 20 minutes.
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I would drive 250 miles and I would drive 250 more
Just to be the man who breaks the rules I wrote
And fuck off all you poor
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I'm in a Team Meeting. Someone has just asked a colleague if they have had an accident as their teeth look cracked and broken. They replied no, they have always been like that. It's gone very quiet.
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A bloke went up to a pregnant woman in work and uninvited or without asking just rubbed her belly. I said not cool but he said there was nothing wrong with it. Who's in the right here?
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16 has just asked if it's ok for him to move out when he is 18 and get a place with his girlfirend. That'll keep me laughing until the new year.
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