Liam Williams
@funnylad5
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Statuses
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Ladhood, Pls Like, Sheeps. (he/him). PLEASE buy my book: …
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STUNNING SHOT WITH REBECCA
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Pinned Tweet
Been tempted to read my novel but not so strongly you'd shell out for the hardback? Well this is your lucky day (paperback publication day):
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1997: I am *surfing* the web
2007: I am *browsing* the web
2017: There is no verb for my useless, constant state of being
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Clutching my £170 train ticket, marching towards a packed train, about to visit my family for first time in months, I see a ‘tag’ on the side of it:
‘Well, I’m not getting on that!’
Removing graffiti will encouraging more people to start using trains again, Transport Secretary Grant Shapps tells rail bosses
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Peppa Pig co-creator, writer and director Mark Baker trained at the National Film and Television School whose founding was the direct result of a recommendation from civil servants at the Department for Education and Science for the creation of a national film school for the UK.
"Yesterday I went to Peppa Pig World... I loved it, it's very much my kind of place"
PM Boris Johnson tells CBI conference "no Whitehall civil servant would conceivably come up with Peppa" as he praises the "power of UK creativity"
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look champ, your mummy and I love each other very much but...
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This free school meals stuff is nonsense. Here's how I feed my family for just £1 p/w:
1kg potatoes- 50p (Tesco)
Old sweets - free (back of sofa)
Some mice - free (dead; under kitchen unit)
2kg apples - free (scrumped from Farmer Brown's orchard)
Freddos x5 - 50p (bought 2002)
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arguably don't throw a bike at a horse, but also - and I would say this is more important - don't use one as a kind of sentient battering ram
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Ladhood series 2 wrap. Zero covid cases. A thousand laughs. Infinity pathos.
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The third (and likely final) series of Ladhood is here. My undying gratitude to everyone who's ever worked on or supported it. Never forget.
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Had my late teens been essentially deleted by a mishandled pandemic and then the course of my entire life altered by the arbitratry downgrading of my A-level results, I can't even begin to think what kind of destructive reaction it would have provoked in me.
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Krapp's Last Tape is Samuel Beckett's bleakest play because it is about a man making a podcast long before podcasts have been invented.
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All the areas seeing new lockdown measures are in, or directly bordering, the top 20 most deprived in England (with exception of Leicester which a 2015 report declared the '21st most deprived') [source: English Indices of Deprivation Report 2019]
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Me, on a makeshift bed in a hospital car park, wheezing my last into a ventilator made from what is unmistakably a car exhaust pipe: 'tell my wife [who is already dead] Boris increasingly satisfies me...'
Public satisfaction with...
Boris Johnson
Satisfied: 52% (+5)
Dissatisfied: 38% (-6)
Jeremy Corbyn
Satisfied: 19% (+3)
Dissatisfied: 68% (-7)
HM Government
Satisfied: 48%
Dissatisfied: 41%
via
@IpsosMORI
Chgs. w/ Feb
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Update for my followers: Ladhood series 3 will broadcast 'end of summer'. It's likely to be, I am in many ways sad to say, the final series, as I have simply run out of memories. Thanks to everyone who's watched or worked on the show. I am beyond grateful.
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Friday, time to crack open a decaf tea and get earnest: thank you for the nice messages about Ladhood S2. For the first time ever I can say, sincerely, there are too many to reply to but I cherish each one. Definitely follow, thank, praise the cast & crew too. Roll on series 3.
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Finding it increasingly difficult to join in with discourse around Tory policy and rhetoric because if I tweet my honest thoughts and feelings I will have to go to prison :(
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we drove to the riverbank. it was 15 about minutes. there was a bird. my wife wished it happy easter. the wind blew east. the son jumped out of the window. i got out of the car. i got back in. my car has four wheels. we abided by the rules. ALL the rules. my dad owns some woods
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Ladhood Series 2 is available now!
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Such shit news. A brilliant comedian who could appeal to total idiots and pretentious wankers alike.
Sean Lock has died. His agents confirm: "He died at home from cancer, surrounded by his family."
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For fans of Ladhood and/or trailers, here is a Ladhood trailer.
The lads are back!
📺 The final series of the hilarious Ladhood starts on Monday at 10pm on BBC Three.
▶️ Watch the whole series on
@bbciplayer
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🇬🇧This nation has a glorious Heritage... a world-beating legacy... one to be proud of... one that was not without flaws and infelicities... but one which nonetheless brought glory to Britain. Now woke cultural warriors want to destroy it. We must stand up for...LANDFILL INDIE🎸
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Bank Adverts: 'Feeling anxious about the quickening collapse of capitalism and an even more pernicious techno-feudalism which looks set to replace it? Well, our new 'Money Elf' app is here to help...'
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You can now get my novel 'Homes & Experiences' online or in bookshops. Got a few spare copies if you're unable to buy one at the moment - email me at hello
@liamwilliams
.uk.
Order it here:
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Have discovered I can do a fairly good impression of the woman from the Hello Fresh advert who says 'Is Hello Fresh worth the price?'. Get this to 10,000 likes and I will post a recording.
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me on April 4th: there is no going back to 'normal'! 'Normal' was what got us into this crisis
me on July 4th: capitalism is back baby! and I am ready to dance dead-eyed to its beat once more
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That's a weird way to say 'causes the deaths of many migrants'
Wednesday's Times: "Royal Navy mission fails to curb flow of migrants" (via
@hendopolis
)
#tomorrowspaperstoday
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'Pls Like' Series 3 is available now.
'Quick witted... clever... perfectly paced' **** - Guardian
'Pick of the Week' - i Newspaper
'Pick of the Week' -
'Critics Choice' - Sunday Times
'Annoying' ** - Telegraph
Do check it out!
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Would you care to watch Episode 1 of 'Pls Like' which I wrote and am in. Cheers.
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me, trying to restore some common sense: 'look, i would be the first to say I don't LOVE this statue of Sir Peter the Paedo Pig of Buckingham, a big bronze hog with sick all down it and a shit hanging out of its arse, but we have to wait for democracy to take its course!'
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Sad to discover this morning that not one media outlet has used the quote I contributed to the
@LiveComedyUK
press release yesterday. Unfortunately therefore I have been forced to create my own quote graphic in order to
#SaveLiveComedy
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The audio of my debut novel 'Homes and Experiences' will be available from Thursday:
Here I am trying to promote it:
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One month left to catch Ladhood series one on iPlayer if you so wish to:
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In the realm of ultimately-not-important-things-currently-happening, I've written a novel called 'Homes and Experiences', available now as audio here:
Hardback out Aug, pre-order here:
And here's the cover, please judge it by it
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Do you think people got as annoyed about new books being written in the first couple of decades of books being written as they do now about new podcasts? 'Oh my god, ANOTHER book is coming out?? Don't you know there are already about 4000 books! Think of something new already!'
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Why do these rioters look like they're about to appear in an issues play at the National Theatre?
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seems a canny bit of commissioning to me. just give them exactly what they ask for and quietly allow it to be even more mediocre than any other broadcast standup compilation
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Press for new series of Ladhood
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me, a genius:
*witnesses mega-scale tax avoidance, the patenting of life saving medicines, the ongoing destruction of the environment for corporate profit*
That's just private enterprise!
*sees a racist sitcom episode removed from a corporate-owned media platform*
ORWELLIAN!
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"Despair... bleakness... idiocy". No, not more reportage on the UK's ever-worsening political outlook, but a review for the new series of Ladhood!
Ladhood review – thank you, Liam Williams, for this consistently great comedy
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Me, clutching a plastic pint and breaking social distancing to get quite close to your ear:
in the end, all culture is 'landfill'!
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If you're still thinking of voting Lib Dem you need to take a look at yourself.
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Pls Like series 2 available now. Thanks to the brilliant cast, crew and all involved.
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A cyber-terrorist!
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Pls Like Series 3 starts on BBC One tonight at 22:45, if you don't have iPlayer.
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Wicked Witch of the West vows to name and shame flying monkeys making life difficult for people of Oz.
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my pension plan? putting out a press release to say I'm prepared to go on TV and say 'Woke' people deserving a 'good braying'
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Never got this. Personally love it when someone starts sharing a dream - like a psychic striptease. Imho if you find other people's dreams uninteresting it's because you find other people uninteresting, which is fine, but don't dress it up as this weird anti-dream stance
nobody wants you to describe the dream you had last night because it’s boring! but it’s different when i do it
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This Is Just To Say
I have deleted
the nudes
that were in
my inbox
and which
you were probably
sending
to impress me
Forgive me
I am an adult
and I have been
to therapy
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Happened to me too when I bumped into a sort-of-ex on a midweek hangover after I'd had a coffee. We are not weak, we are human.
It happened to me playing for the national team in U16s against Wales. I remember it to this day. No explanation for it and it never happened again. You should be very proud of yourself. The country is proud of you. Glad to read your feeling better. Onwards and upwards 🎾🏴
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Furthermore you should stick to making medium-quality cheese for your Tory acquaintances while reaping validation from whatever shaky memories you have left of your historically unimportant pop career and keepi g your dangerous and bitgoted opinions to yourself
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What sort of deranged utopia are you living in that you think homes can be both affordable AND ALSO NOT designed to kill you??
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Just caught your boyfriend having a little look at the Lib Dem website
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when the substitute teacher has had just about enough of this messing about!
I am putting the Prime Minister on notice that he has got to get a grip.
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Want to thank the six people who showed up for me today. I am grateful to you and this is not the end in this battle. I will not stop fighting for you!
🏆 QUARTER FINAL
#2
🏆
⏱ You've got 45 minutes to vote who will take on Last Tango in Halifax in the Semi-Finals!
🧢
#Ladhood
VS
🏖
#TwoPintsofLager
and a Packet of Crisps
👇 Place your votes! 👇
#BestOfTheNorth
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I may not be in Edinburgh this Aug but am still getting some cracking reviews
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All I ask of the total disintegration of society is that it happens at a steady, not-too-overwhelming pace.
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this is good. Nish on the nu-right wing comedians. 'i recognise that need to interpret the audience not laughing as some sort of grand political conspiracy against me from when *i* was shit' 😂
Today on
#Downstream
@AyoCaesar
meets with
@MrNishKumar
to discuss Defund the BBC and how he accidentally became the flashpoint for the comedy culture war.
Catch it here ☟
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*Keir Starmer giving his last interview before voting opens to elect the next Prime Minister, Labour still slightly behind in the polls*:
Look, what's very clear to me is that the public want a Tory government and it'd be wrong to stand in the way of that.
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the 'this is a war!' framing reaching new levels with the enforced conscription of the entire working class
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a very valid and necessary question. not an easy one to answer. i think it has a lot to do with life feeling increasingly meaningless and painful and from that comes the susceptibility to the deranged credo of ethnonationalism.
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Announcement: if you don't f with iPlayer, Ladhood series one is now available on Youtube, helpfully retitled 'Life as a Lad In The Early 2000s'.
Please click the link and dislike the comment saying it's more a drama than a comedy.
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Tory establishment offended not by the racism itself but by its gauche, unsubtle expression.
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sorry not tweeting much, been busy catching up with annotations to Razorlight songs on Lyrics Genius
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the state... has... literally... been killing people because they have learning difficulties?
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and still the Lib Dems remain electorally irrelevant. If there was a mass calling for something more ‘centrist’ there was a viable outlet for its realisation. If you can say this a rejection, it’s one of everything except bigoted, authoritarian reaction.
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Episode three of Pls Like is here and it's all about music, baby.
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Me, once a vocal critic of those Insulate Britain protesters, now shivering in a shipping container (which is my house) sipping some gruel (which is my food): 'well at least I wasn't hypothetically made late for work in the before times'
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A guy who has so many nicknames that one of his nicknames is 'nicknames'.
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During this winter of restrictions, this winter of Brexit, why not enjoy my tentatively hopeful novel about a copywriter travelling around Europe?
Sorry for banging on about this; haven't sold enough copies.
Hardback:
Audio:
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After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.
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Decades of neoliberal austerity have led directly to levels of division and alienation for working class people that are almost beyond comprehension for middle class liberals. Meanwhile, if your response to all that is attacking brown people then you are a complete piece of shit.
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Genuinely, nobody of any worth cares what you think.
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Pining for the warm embrace of a festive drinking establishment? Rueing this lower-than-vermin government and its continued decimation of 'the hospitality space'?
I offer meagre succour: an excellent podcast (about pubs) I was honoured to appear on.
Another guest is ready to enter the correct realm in order to create their dream pub... and this week it's comedian and writer
@funnylad5
🍻
There's also an amazing pub quiz from
@robinallender
for noughties music fans 🎸
Listen to part 1 now 🍾
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No reviews yet for my audiobook but I did get some nice feedback from
@robertpopper
. Thanks Robert!
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Home for xmas. My dad is looking at my granddad's grave on Google Earth.
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Absolutely spot on, Ben. So refreshing to hear someone talk sense on this. Now, while we're just two non-woke guys being candid with each other, can I ask where you stand on Sir Jimmy Savile?
If we start to judge historical figures by 21st century standards, we'll find that quiet a few folks weren't that nice... Almost as if they didn't know any better 🤔
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Was totally on board with these protests about the irreversible ecological crisis until I saw some photos online which revealed some very minor aspect of what they're doing to be at odds with my own aesthetic sensibilities. Sorry guys you've lost a potential ally here!
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you (basic idiot): it's funny that the man who fucked a pig is back
me (genius finishing big coffee): this hauntological gesture is perfectly befitting for its at once liminal and recursive political moment, one defined by the anticipation of Starmerism and eternal austerity
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Me when my agent asks what I'm up to
"Has the Sperm Whale ever written a book, spoken a speech? No, his great genius is declared in his doing nothing particular to prove it."
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Please by all means cancel me for this but: it kind of is but a vlogger is a real job now isn't it and probably better this than a Barbie or Action Man, no???
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‘Good will to all men!’ say my cards. ‘Light unto the world!’ suggest my decorations. ‘Fuck ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE except me!’ entail my ongoing politics.
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At the risk of sounding like the Limmy tweet, I worked with Una Stubbs once. She was EXTREMELY pleasant company. Always dug her in Fawlty Towers too. Pouring one out for her this weekend.
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whoever said you get more right wing as you get older wasn't ready for this shit
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imagining the kid doing a little vlog about their wild day dreams> imagining the kid imagining Action Man killing loads of foreigners or arranging for Barbie to get a brazillian
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Happy to help clear this up as I know you must be busy with MP stuff: this isn't abuse but the misery your party has enacted on British people these last ten years (e.g. at least 45,000 human deaths from austerity) is. All best with doing a better, more clear-headed job in future
We’ve written to
@Keir_Starmer
after
@AngelaRayner
’s comment resulted in widespread abuse towards our MPs, staff and families.
Will Sir Keir take action against Labour MPs and party members who perpetrate abuse, and apologise for Rayner’s record of unparliamentary behaviour?
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Episode 2 of well-received Youtuber comedy 'Pls Like' goes up tomorrow. Here's ep 1 once more.
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'Capital' and 'Ladhood' nominated for Chortle Awards. Vote for, or against, them here:
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delighted to announce Sheeps' new aesthetic: mid-noughties indie band fresh out of rehab with an album of stoic melancholy
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when I was a kid we'd PUT posters up in our rooms. These days they ARE posters up in their rooms
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