Brad Williams
@funnybrad
Followers
179,366
Following
388
Media
2,839
Statuses
12,743
Father/Husband/Comedian/Part time dwarf/Cheaper than Carrot Top on Cameo
Hollywood, CA
Joined January 2009
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Pinned Tweet
My newest special Starfish is now available to watch for free on my new YouTube channel! Enjoy this preview and click the link to watch!
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Finally, OJ can rest knowing his wife’s killer is dead
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I need Nickelodeon to do a companion broadcast on election night. Patrick from SpongeBob explaining the electoral college and slime being dumped on the losing candidate during their concession speech
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I just heard from
@FijiAirways
. They let me know that they are DONATING plane tickets so Quaden and his Mom can get to Disneyland. Thank you
@FijiAirways
! I can’t stop crying. I promise I will make sure every penny goes to a good cause!
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I’ve set up a GoFundMe to send brave Quaden and his mother to Disneyland. Let’s show a bullied kid that he is loved!
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This makes me sick. I’ve been trying to get in touch with this family. If any of my Austrialian fans know this family. Please tell this wonderful boy that he has me and an army of friends all over the world that support him.
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Chris Pine looks like a retired female tennis player who announces matches and doesn’t think Serena Williams plays the “right way.”
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UPDATE! I’ve spoken to Quaden’s mother and sent a video message to him. I’m going to be setting up a GoFundMe very soon to bring Quaden and his Mom out on a trip to
@Disneyland
. Thank you to the fans that made the hookup. Let’s show Quaden how amazing he is!
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It’s now at 130k. Amazing. Thank you everyone. This is way outside my level of expertise. I just don’t want to mess this up. I need help so I can do this correctly.
@TheEllenShow
, you do this kind of stuff all the time. Can you PLEASE help me do this the right way??
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I was rooting for the Vikings. Not because I like them, just because as a dwarf, I cannot support The Giants
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I just heard from a very important person who is going to help me make sure the money is spent correctly. They have a lot of experience. I want to make all who donated proud. Thank you again everyone. This has been an amazing day!
#EndBullying
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Update! We raised 25k! I’m speechless. Many other people and celebrities have started their own campaigns of awareness and that’s great. Doesn’t matter where the help comes from as long as they are legit. I’m talking to his family to schedule the trip!
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Retweeting this after every Broncos win this year. 5 in a row!
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Joe Biden is 81. Donald Trump is 77. If we have to elect an old person, let it be Dolly Parton
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My father. My hero. Passed away last night at age 77. My mother was by his side. His last day was spent with my Mom, my sister, myself, my wife, and his granddaughter. Last words I heard him say was “I love her” to my daughter.
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Quick Dad story: When I was born, it was my Dad’s job to tell all the family and friends I had dwarfism. He did it by saying “He’s fine! He’s just not gonna play tuba in the marching band!”
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It’s 3/16! Here’s how you should celebrate Stone Cold on 3.16 Day
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Now at 75k! Unreal. My phone won’t stop. This is beyond anything I could have imagined. I need help putting this together. Please
@TheEllenShow
or
@WWE
or
@Disneyland
. I just want to do right by this kid. Please help me put all this generosity to good use
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Has Amy Adams ever danced to “Who Let The Dogs Out?” next to a guy with mutton chops in the stands? I accept your apology
@NFL_DovKleiman
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Nick Saban out at Alabama at age 72
Bill Belichick out at New England at age 71
Pete Carroll out in Seattle at age 72
Members of Congress at age 90
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Aside from a few bullies who are bullying me for taking a stand against bullies, this fundraiser is unreal. So amazing to see all sorts of people come together. Quaden is going to have the time of his life! And it’s all thanks to you!
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When someone offends you, it’s important to have empathy and find common ground. Jerry and I have a lot in common. For instance, we both haven’t won a Super Bowl in over 25 years
Jerry Jones used an offensive term for little people while addressing a throng of media members at Dallas Cowboys training camp Tuesday.
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Once again, any money left over after flights, hotel, food, tickets and some spending cash for the family (gotta get those mouse ears!), will be donated to anti-bullying/anti-abuse charities.
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The US Military has many branches defending our country
Army
Navy
Marines
Air Force
Waffle House Employees
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I’ve heard from men, women, all heights, all races, all parts of the LGBTQ+ community, all political affiliations. Everyone is helping. What a truly wonderful thing.
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Hey guys, I finally found out how babies are made.
Our girl arrives January 18
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My daughter giving me knuckles after a successful diaper change
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Went grocery shopping. Kid saw me and said, “Mom, look! The Coronavirus shrunk him!”
So yeah, I’m day drinking today
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Hey
@AdamSandler
, you need someone for this part?
Happy Gilmore is back! Adam Sandler will reprise his iconic role in a brand new movie coming to Netflix.
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Dear Denver
@Broncos
, let’s combine forces, break the internet, and give the people the most amazing halftime experience ever
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The love you have shown is unbelievable. Thank you! Money donated will not be wasted! We have a team of people making sure everything is completely legitimate. We thank you for your generosity and patience while we make sure all this is done the right way.
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Vince McMahon better end this press conference quickly, later today he’s scheduled to tie a woman to some train tracks
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Over 65k raised. I’m numb with joy. Been in contact with GoFundMe to make sure ALL the money goes to the right place. Still trying to find some help organizing everything. I’m doing my best! None of this happens without YOUR amazing donations! ❤️❤️❤️
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Most recently he was charged with “Fuck around and found out”
Man who Mike Tyson punched on flight has long criminal history
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Mitch Trubisky just did what Gisele couldn’t…keep Tom Brady off the field
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WE DID IT!!!! 18.5 K! Wow! We stood up to bullying and are now going to make a kid know there is love in the world. Whatever money is leftover from sending him to Disneyland will be donated to anti-bullying/anti-abuse charities. THANK YOU EVERYONE!
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We are over 250k! Unreal! This is so great for young Quaden and his family. The world has spoken and the world has said in one loud voice that bullying will not be tolerated! Thank you for your generosity and love!
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Person just DM’d me saying “There’s this dwarf at the Denver airport that looks like you only uglier”
……
…………
……………I’m at the Denver airport
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I legit fear this happening to me
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Shang Tsung is arriving and
Mortal Kombat has begun
Lightning and volcanic lightning on the Acatenango Volcano in Guatemala
[📹 Douglas Steele]
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Took my daughter to see Santa yesterday. But she’s also a dwarf so it looked like I was showing the workplace to a new employee
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Congratulations to
@MattRife
on his sold out nationwide comedy tour. Ignore the haters bro. Call me if you need to talk. I also know what its like when people think you only sell tickets because you’re ridiculously good looking
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Update: Surgery is over. My daughter had successful spinal decompression surgery. She is awake and responsive. Thank you to Children’s Hospital Los Angeles and their incredible staff. Also thank YOU for the thoughts, prayers, and Dolly Parton GIFs. Love you all
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Bullies are in trouble. Wolverine has spoken! Thank you
@RealHughJackman
!
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Baby Williams is doing well after surgery. Here is my amazing wife comforting her while at the same time plotting the death of the people who stole our Amazon packages
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Dwarfism
What’s something you have that the richest man in the world doesn’t?
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My daughter is 3 months old today. I got her a Pooh that looks like a dwarf, and she got me a poo that looks like a poo
#AsianDwarfBaby
#YouDownWithADB
#YeahYouKnowMe
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Over $100,000! This is the best of humanity. I promise every penny donated will be put to good use. It will go to help Quaden and to make sure no child goes through what he went through. YOU ALL ARE AMAZING!
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“George Clooney is a piece of shit.”
—George Clooney’s 15th closest friend
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Me: I’m staying home all day
Friend: Oh because the pandemic?
Me: No, because I’m a dwarf and it’s St. Patrick’s Day
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How you can tell Brad Williams is performing in your town
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Simone Biles is 4’8.” She’s a magical tiny person who collects gold. I think that qualifies her as a dwarf. As a member of the dwarf delegation, I would like to extend a warm welcome to the GOAT!
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Big win for the Broncos today! Dancing back into playoff contention!
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I’m 39 years old today. Sometimes I think I’m finally a mature adult, then I realize I’m in a text group with 3 people where we just inform each other when we poop
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Hey
@Marvel
, I can actually fit inside the robot
Marvel Studios is reportedly interested in casting a comedian for the role of H.E.R.B.I.E. in ‘THE FANTASTIC FOUR’.
(via:
@DanielRPK
)
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My baby took her first steps today!!!!
Sorry to be that guy but I’m a proud Dad. (For the record, she’s singing “Farfus The Dragon,” from her favorite cartoon)
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Firing McDermott for Belichick would be a stunning feat. And no one loves stunning feet more than Rex Ryan
Rex Ryan ‘would not be shocked’ if Bills fire Sean McDermott for Bill Belichick
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The goal here is to give Quaden the trip of a lifetime and to spend every dollar donated in a responsible way. My hopes are to spotlight the negative effects of bullying so parents and children can learn from this. We can be better. Thank you so much everyone!
#EndBullying
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Quentin Tarantino during the Jesus washing feet commercial
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I’m been in Austin five hours and already 3 bachelorette parties thought I was their stripper
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Wife: You haven’t left the couch all day
Me: It’s the winter solstice
Wife: So?
Me: It’s a dwarf national holiday
Wife: Why?
Me: Shortest day of the year
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I’m a huge wrestling fan, but wrestling fan or not. Go see a live
@AEW
event. The energy is incredible and the performers are amazing. Thankful as all hell to have live events back again
#NotHornswoggle
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I saw the greatest tattoo ever last night. Guy with an artificial leg came to my show. He has a tattoo of his leg on a milk carton that says “missing.”
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We are now over 35k. Multiple
@WWE
superstars want to bring him to WrestleMania. I’m one man trying to organize this. Can someone who works for a charity help me organize this?
@WWE
people?
@Disneyland
people?
@TheEllenShow
people?
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Hunter Biden at Congress. Nick Saban retiring. Pete Carroll out in Seattle. Aaron Rogers done with Pat McAfee, Stephan A roasting Whitlock. Today is playing out like a verse from
“We Didn’t Start The Fire”
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I’ve been a lifelong
@Broncos
fan,
@JohnElway
was my childhood hero. Last night I met him, performed at his Christmas party, and caught a pass from him. They say “never meet your heroes,” well that’s a bunch of 💩💩 if your hero is John Elway
#GOAT
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I’ll eventually stop with the Dad posts, but just wanted to say thank you to all the people who gave condolences. I’m very lucky to have the family, friends, and fans who have showed such extreme kindness over the past few days. I mean it when I say, I love you all
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Whoever said “Never meet your heroes,” wasn’t talking about
@JasonSudeikis
. As the man once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get.
Another magical night at
@TheComedyStore
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“Oh Fuck”
—Dwarfs walking outside forgetting it’s St Patrick’sDay
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Another example of violent hip hop
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It’s 7am. I got home from my shows at 2am. But baby came into my room and said “Daddy swim?” I’m gonna end up buying her a pony one day aren’t I?
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I’m still working hard on the GoFundMe but this photo of my Dad and my 6 week year old daughter relaxing before my show makes me smile.
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You’ve now seen a dwarf jump on a unicorn. Now you get 3 wishes
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Advantages of having a dwarf kid, I’m 37 and my Dad can still do this. Happy Father’s Day everyone
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Flying to Hong Kong. On my flight, there’s coach, first class, and if you’re a dwarf, apartment class
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Here is footage of Spirit Airlines airplanes still taking off during the pandemic
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He always said “You are only as good as the company you keep.” Well my company was my Dad. So I guess I did ok. He was proud of his family, his friends, his work as an attorney, and his golf game. I was proud to be his son. I miss you Dad. I love you
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My daughter is having surgery this morning. I’m a mess. Feeling very helpless. Whether you pray to Jesus, Muhammad, or Dolly Parton, throw in some good wishes for my girl.
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Wife 1: What do you think our husbands are doing?
Wife 2: Probably out looking at other women
The husbands:
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My Dad showed me how to be a man. How to be loyal, to have fun, to joke, to golf, and to provide. Everything I am I owe to him. My family is crushed but beyond lucky for the time we had.
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