Found Courage - Highly Addictive Personality 💯using it on showing you can come back from the bottom to stand on top of the World 💯NOT on gambling & alcohol
March 1st 2019 I looked into the Atlantic Ocean and thought about taking my life
I’d ruined my life and my sons lives because of my Gambling Addiction, I’d lost £5m+
After 4 years of rebuilding my entire self, my Actions are now what are important
I cannot have a single bet
My little girl Isla has chickenpox
I’m so grateful & thankful that I’m able to be here for her, fully present both mentally & physically
Isla is my first priority over anything & everything. She lives with her Daddy free of Addiction & 💯 focused on giving her the best care
6yrs ago on this day I had drank 8pints & a bottle of wine having lost thousands betting on the horses
I choose to try & ride home from the pub on a kids scooter - result below
The reality is I had no regard for my wellbeing & felt worthless
Today looks very different, we
My Gambling & Alcohol Addiction took everything from me except my physical being. After +3yrs of recovery I’m mentally and physically the strongest I’ve ever been, their is always a way back. I’m running 100miles in 24hrs in Dublin for awareness against gambling addiction 8 April
Isla is feeling much better after getting Chickenpox
Thank you for all of the kind messages wishing her well
Here in 🇮🇪 our children are not vaccinated for Chickenpox
I’m very grateful that I was able to be here for her, Addiction Free with my sole focus on her wellbeing
Addictions take control of your life,
I failed my;
- Rugby Career
- Military Career
- Recruitment Company
- As a father to my two boys
I lost £millions, I lost my self respect
“THEIR IS ALWAYS A WAY BACK THO”
You just have to find the Courage
Lay those solid foundations
You can recover from Addiction and live a much happier more fulfilled life; I Promise
Loosing €10k+ & drinking to oblivion, became the norm; I hated my life, I hated who & what I was
Today I’m the happiest I’ve ever been
“THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY BACK” Talk, Be Honest, Courage
Been free of Addiction has positively changed my life forever
Sat 20th May, I set off on a 1600mile 🚴 ride to complete in 6days
The Wild Atlantic Way 🇮🇪
I want people to know that you can recover from Severe Addiction & You are allowed to live your life again
#courage
The brutal truth when my Gambling Addiction spiralled out of control
I’ve not seen by boys for over four years, last pic together;
I was a terrible role model, I couldn’t show them by example decent values
After a full mental & physical rebuild, It’s all about my actions now
After nearly ending my life at the beginning of 2019 and then going through a challenging process of getting mentally & physically better
I made a plan for what I want to achieve for the rest of my life
My plan is very Simple but that doesn’t mean it’s easy
#Focused
#Family
I had zero chance of turning My life around when I was constantly lying to Myself
Booze & gambling had left me a hollow, soulless shell & was destroying everything around me, yet I continued
When I was finally honest with Myself in 2019 My whole life positively changed forever
My Gambling Addiction robbed me of my time and my ability to be a good father and role model to my two sons.
Today my Princess is your uninterrupted time with your Daddy, you have my full attention.
“There is always a way back - I just had to find Courage”
#courage
5 yr ago I was arrested and bailed, I was then released from bail
5 yr later I’m going through a legal process. Had I not been a Gambling Addict and the person I’m today, I would not have got drawn into this matter
Find that stop button, be 💯honest and get help
#courage
When we are Gambling Addicts we lie to ourselves all the time, in turn we lie to those we love.
To start on the road to recovery from addiction, we need to be 💯 honest with ourselves, then 💯 honest with those we love, this takes Courage.
“There is always a way back”
I didn’t know the damage that would be caused when I placed my first bet & when I looked to alcohol for escapism
My Addictions nearly took my life
However “There is always a way back”
Over 2050km 🚴 since last Sat, this has been my own Pilgrimage on how amazing life can be
As a gambling addict you live a double life. The pain you create for others and yourself is immense. One day this pain becomes to much and you have to make a decision. My decision was that my daughter will never experience her Daddy gamble. 3 yrs clean
#RecoveryPosse
#Gamblefree
I’d gambled & lost €Millions
I’d drank myself to oblivion
I ended up homeless
I Found the Courage not to accept this to be the sum of my life
With the exception of my two boys their isn’t a single thing I’d want from my life before
The Power of Re-Building from the bottom
Living as a gambling addict and drinking to excess the world looked a dark place, for a few months after finding the courage to quit the world looked even darker. Now the world looks bright and full of opportunity. 3yrs clean after 20yrs of addiction.
#RecoveryPosse
#Gamblefree
This Day 4 yr 5 mnt ago was My Absolute Rock Bottom
I’d destroyed & lost everything, for a moment suicide looked like my only option - A single positive thought changed everything
Stood by the Ocean Today with Isla, My 🌍 looks completely different.
Find that single thought
My gambling addiction cost me, my home, wife, friends, business and most importantly my relationship with my two sons. Accepting, owning and taking responsibility for my addiction allowed me to rebuild from the rubble that was left, now I only look up
#RecoveryPosse
#gambleaware
Poor Mental Heath goes hand in hand with Harmful Addictions
Reaching out & talking isn’t a sign of weakness
1600miles in 6 consecutive days on my 🚴 down the Wild Atlantic Way 🇮🇪 is my challenge beginning this Saturday
“There is always a way back” just talk with a loved one
2 years ago I watched the last six nations match with a glass of wine
I made a conscious decision to never drink again
Two years later at 41 years old, I’m living the happiest, healthiest most productive life I’ve ever lived
A coincidence ?
I don’t believe in coincidences
When you have lived with an Addiction there are people who don’t want to see you Recover
Every action I now take is positive, honest & honourable for the benefit of my Partner❤️Daughter❤️& Myself
I own my past entirely, however that doesn’t mean I need to be a slave to it
I used to go into meetings hungover and then as soon as it was finished I’d go to the pub for a drink - I got the results I deserved
Today I head into meetings with a clear mind and then I head back to my family - I get the results I deserve
#Courage
#WeDoRecover
There is life after your Addiction
When you don’t think you have an option, please talk and reach out.
I went public to show you are not alone, In 3week I’ve received 100+ DM from people looking for help (this will always be confidential).
Thank you Emma
@IrishMirror
My Addiction&Suicide Awareness Run
I missed my target of 100 miles and finished on just over 80 in 15 1/2 hrs.
I took an injury to my T-Band, the Pain was very real, I listened to my mind and body, something I failed to do with my Addiction. With some big challenges ahead I
Finding the internal keys to unlock the Prison I spent 20 yrs in with my Gambling Addiction will always be my greatest accomplishment
The freedom & peace I now have everyday without gambling can never be taken from me
Find the Courage, be 💯 honest with Yourself be Free
I tell my partner everything, no lies or secrets, this makes our home environment peaceful even if there is external noise. As a gambling addict I did the opposite and lived in permanent anxiety.
I’m preparing to climb 7 of the highest mountains inc Everest.
No lies=Freedom
Suicide is the single biggest killer of men under 45.
A portion of these deaths are related to Addictions.
Talk and get help.
As I was hitting rock bottom, I met
@Tyson_Fury
to thank him for speaking out on mental health & addictions.
4yrs later I’m running 100 miles in 24 hr
I hid my Gambling Addiction for 20yrs
I convinced myself I was in control of what I was doing
- Single biggest win €190k
- Total financial loss +€5million
- Single BIGGEST LOSS - Been there for my two Boys
I lived a very unhappy life throughout
Today looks different
March 1st 2019 I stood on a ferry deck in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean & thought I didn’t have anything to live for, negative additions had dominated & ruined my life
The journey back has not been easy & people have actively wanted me to fail
But at this I have Succeeded
I can 💯 confirm that Gambling & Alcohol Addictions destroy your mental health, your sole & the very fabric of your existence
I can also 💯 confirm that recovery is absolutely possible
Had I not got the help & support I 💯 needed in 2019 I don’t believe I’d be alive today
Drug & Alcohol Addicts have very telling physical signs
As a Gambling Addict I lived with a lot of anxiety & when things spiralled out of control I didn’t take care of myself mentally or physically; however I still hid my addiction
Getting help & been 💯 honest is essential
Suicide is 15x greater for a person that has a gambling addiction
The evil of this addiction is that down to my very final bet, I believed it had the ability to start & repair the tornado of destruction I’d created
The real repair begins with complete honesty & true help
At 27 I brought an Aston Martin with cash. I thought it was proof I’d made something of myself
The TRUTH is I was Morally Bankrupt and a truly horrible individual
My gambling addiction ruled my life & terrible behaviour
40 now & nearly 4yrs clean It is all about GREAT VALUES
When I placed my first bet, it harmed no one, however;
It very soon became a Gambling Addiction that harmed all those around me
The massive pain of not been there for my Sons as a Dad gave me a choice
My little Girl will never have to experience her Dad gamble
Find the reason
1600miles lay ahead of me over the next 6days 🚴
I don’t know what this challenge & journey has install for me however I do know if you’d have told me 4 1/2 hrs ago this was even possible, I wouldn’t have believed you.
You can beat Addiction and restore Your Mental Health
If you are struggling with Addiction & Poor Mental Health I want you to know “There Is A Way Back”
My Gambling Addiction spiralled so out of control by 2019 I thought my life was over
72hrs into 🚴♀️ Wild Atlantic Way 🇮🇪
700km rode and the equivalent of Mt Everest climbed
Beating my Gambling Addiction was the equivalent of climbing a mountain! You need to just put one foot in front of the other.
Step
1. Complete 💯 honesty with yourself
2. Complete 💯 honest with your closest loved one
These two crucial initial steps require Courage from YOU
To arrive in Kinsale, Cork and complete this journey after 8 days & 2285km 🚴 The Wild Atlantic Way 🇮🇪 is huge moment
I was last in Cork on 1st March 2019, boarding a boat at the very lowest point of my life, Addiction had consumed me
Today in Cork My Whole Life is Ahead of Me
75% of my day as a Gambling Addict was consumed by gambling.
This meant although I was physically present I was mentally detached, consumed by the next bet and the guilt of what I was doing.
I’m Now 💯 fully present. I use my addictive personality only in positive ways.
Gambling, Alcohol and Drug Addictions ruin the lives of the individuals and their families. Many pay the ultimate price with their life.
On the 8th April, I’m running 100miles in 24hrs in Dublin to raise suicide awareness around addictions, I want to get people talking when they
My Addiction consumed a huge portion of my life, when I made a “DECISION to QUIT”
I had a choice to either
1. Spend my days wondering what could have been with my life
Or
2. Go and make things happen and live my life to the fullest moving forward
I choose No. 2
1998 - 2018
Severe Gambling Addict who had major issues with Alcohol. Zero discipline & structure. A terrible Dad
2019 - Present
I Quit Gambling & Alcohol forever. I’m incredibly disciplined & structured. I’m a great Dad
“Don’t let anything or anyone stop You Recovering”
My lifelong Gambling Addiction broke me mentally & physically. 4 yrs on
Following discussion with Dr Tedros & Dr Kestel
@WHO
I’m now spearheading several projects to Champion against Gambling Addiction & Related Harm, with the aim to help 10’s thousands around our World
2023 has been the best year of My Life
This didn’t just happen by luck or with a weak pray
I had to work very hard at it - but My God it was worth it & with these two in My camp I couldn’t be more grateful ❤️❤️
#Courage
#RecoveryPosse
#FindYourReason
#NewYear2024
#Excited
I don’t drink alcohol because I don’t have an off button & I have the ability to turn into a first class 🔔-end, I also became a 280lbs / 20stone mess
My world today at 196lbs / 14stone looks & feels a whole lot better
#Courage
#RecoverPosse
#PositiveChoices
#UltraRunner
Exactly 4yr 4mnts ago I stood on the edge of a boat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean & thought I didn’t belong in this 🌎 anymore
Today I have the backing of
@DrTedros
, Dr Kestel &
@WHO
to Champion for significant reduction in Gambling related harm
Step back from the edge
Today has been the most momentous day ever in my working life
Earlier this afternoon I signed a contract with a Major Global Organisation
The journey to get me to this point has been far from straightforward, but since turning My whole life around, only great things have
When you believe suicide is your only option I absolutely promise you it’s not
This morning I spoke an individual who had planned to take his life because of his gambling addiction
He’d seen one of my posts and got in touch 🙏 I went public to let people know they are not alone
Isla’s 1st time on a train (the Dart to us now we are locals 🤣) into Dublin City centre for an adventure
First tidy up of my beard in two weeks, feel brand new
It feels like I’m living a dream, only I know how hard I’ve worked for this 🙌
I understand the stigma around addictions & that was one of My primary reasons for going public with My own story - I want to give hope & help to those struggling
Thank you all for Your support & all the messages through 2023 (even the handful of negative messages, as this has
I thought it was easier to live My life as a Liar rather than admit to my Addiction and look for HELP - I was very wrong
My daughter Isla only knows me as an individual who doesn’t Gamble, Drink or Lie.
I’m able to give her my undivided attention & that will NEVER change
My Gambling Addiction had control of every aspect of my life, until I found the Courage. Changing my environment was essential, otherwise I do not believe I’d be here today.
“Your past does not have to = YOUR FUTURE”
#courge
#RecoveryPosse
#MentalHealthAwareness
A Real Man helps others find their strengths and does not exploit their weaknesses
Until 4 years I would compromise my “True Values” to try and impress others
In 7 months my friend Ryan has lost 3 stone, he’s come back from depression and been bullied
“Support your mates”
GAMBLING ADDICTION RUINS LIVES!
My entire adult life until 2019 was consumed by gambling. I lost everything and ended up homeless
My mission is to understand why as addicts our brains do not know how to stop such a reckless activity and is there a solution, I believe there is
“Kill yourself you’ll do your Sons a favour”
An email I received Aug 19, 8 followed until Feb 21 (I never responded)
I got many things wrong mainly cos of my Gambling Addiction however never effected this person
Paul R doesn’t know this became my fuel to be better each day
The more my Addiction spiralled out of control the more I convinced myself (lied to myself) that the only way out was to Gamble my way out
In the end I couldn’t plan a day ahead and my mental & physical health plummeted
⛰️ Run today & planning
STOP THE SPIRAL TALK & GET HELP
There are individuals who are desperate to see me f**k up & fail
One of my jobs is to make sure I keep providing these individuals with nothing but disappointment
#Courage
#KeyBoardWarriors
#RecoveryPosse
I can openly say I have many weaknesses & flaws. The support & guidance my partner Michaela gives me, helps me excel at the areas I’m stronger at
I’m now taking a couple of days to Work on the Gambling Harm Reduction project, Train & Spend time with Michaela & Isla
#courage
We do Recover from Severe Addictions
I created my own game called the 1% (one percenters)
Every positive task I did in a day was a 1%. At the beginning getting out bed was a struggle so this became a 1%
Still today 4 1/2 yrs later I use the same concept
These 1% soon add up
I lost €millions because of my Gambling Addiction; I was an addict that had no limits & this caused massive harm to my family & myself
A great meeting today in the Dail - Irish Parliament with Senator
@MarkWall1
to discuss finding solutions to help others at risk of Addiction
I had a hidden gambling addiction that dominated & consumed years of my life
I masked over the pain & web of lies I spun by drinking excessively
However, I also found the courage to turn my life around
No matter how bad your past is, don't let it break you, Let it make you !
I have dreams & I have plans to try & make them happen
I wasted years of my life with negative addictions - betting & booze
I’m not wasting another single day
“There is always a way back”
Away until the end of the month - Keep safe, keep fighting
#Courage
#RecoveryPosse
💚
Been Sober means I don’t miss a minute of Family Life
I’m now not looking for the next drink to alter my state
Or, believe (lie to myself) that Me drinking will add to the enjoyment for my family (it certainly doesn’t)
You will always have a Sober, Present Daddy Isla
#Courage
@thebullett59
Hi Michael, thank you for the message.
I’m not anti-gambling nor am I am drinking… I know and understand my personality so well now and know how my addictive personality works… Where I have a huge issue is that the Gambling Companies target Gambling Addicts, 86% of their
4 1/2 yrs ago, I didn’t believe my live was worth living. I had lived with a Severe Gambling Addiction & had a terrible relationship with Alcohol
400km into the Wild Atlantic Way 🇮🇪
Seeing my little 👸 Isla on route was very welcomed
Few hours rest to ice Achilles Tendon
My mate gets straight off an 8 hour flight from 🇮🇪 & 1 hour later has a steady 18km run around a very busy Manhattan with me
This fella was 20 stone 18months ago & had never ran. His discipline & commitment to improving ever single aspect of his life has been truly remarkable
@Tracyjayne10
Hey Tracy, thank you for the message… Sadly that’s not how Addictions work, it wouldn’t have mattered if I’d had access to £5 or £50m I would have gambled it… Hugely humbled now thank your… I understand it can be difficult to comprehend if you don’t have an addictive
This Journey of Cycling the Wild Atlantic Way 🇮🇪 I can liken to stopping my Severe Addiction
Cycling through the night with 100’s of miles still ahead was lonely, tough & brutal at times
However the moments of reward do come and this Amazing 🌍 starts to look beautiful again
Sunday is now My favourite day of the week - I appreciate the calm when I’m out for my run & I find it great to plan for the week ahead with a clear mind
My Sundays as Gambler were anything but calm - in fact no part of my life was ever calm
I hope you all have a Calm Sunday
I kept the same name but changed virtually everything about how I conducted my life
My 40’s are going a lot better than my 30’s
#Courage
#NeverGoingBack
I was never able to give it my all at anything up to 36 years of age - Negative Addictions, Gambling & Alcohol stopped me
The journey of recovery was not easy & many actively wanted to see me fail
However, I knew their was a Better Life that I had never experienced
Go & Live
I know how dark & isolating the world feels when you are in the grip of addiction - I didn’t believe anyone could or would understand nor could I find anyone to relate too
I went public to help as many people as possible know they are not alone & there is a way back to happiness
“There Is Way Back From Addiction”
The “Lies” I told myself as an addict
- I have control over my bets
- I can stop this at any point
- I’m good at this
- I could be a professional gambler
- I’m one big win away
Been 💯 Honest with Myself was the start to My Recovery
5 years ago today I landed in Ireland to live permanently
I’m not going to say there hasn’t been some challenges along the way
But the last 5 years have genuinely been the happiest most amazing years of my life to date
Don’t give up on life
#Courage
I was a wreck at 30 (your prime apparently) & it was only going to get worse over the next few years
At 40 I have a completely New Life - free from negative addictions
It’s never to late to start the journey of recovery
#Courage
▪️30 v 41 yrs old
▪️19stone (266lbs) v 14stone (196lbs)
▪️Gambler v Hard Working FamilyMan
▪️Boozer v Hybrid Athlete
▪️Eat Crap v Balance
▪️Fcking Miserable v V Happy
We all have choices to make everyday
#Courage
#RecoveryPosse
I made a decision to 🚴 the Wild Atlantic Way 🇮🇪
The journey has not been easy or straight forward at 1340km cycled on day 5 I’m not going to hit my target, however that doesn’t mean I quit
The same applied when tackling my Addiction, it wasn’t easy but I didn’t quit
Be Happy
1st weekend in our new home🏡
Saturday night pizza in Malahide🍕🌊
Completely busted, but absolutely worth it
“A dream without a plan will always remain a dream” - 5yrs in the making
To say I’m proud of Isla today on her first ever
#ParkRun
is an understatement
She ran 2km without stopping once, in 16mins at 3years 7months old ❤️
#ProudDaddy
#MalahideLife
Monday in My life as a Gambling Addict, I hated
Counting the looses of the weekend and waiting for the horse racing to begin, awful
Monday in my life today starts at 5am with 10km run & gym, back home for my little girl getting up & work
Freedom of My Addiction Wins 💯
2023 has surpassed my expectations.
I’ve met some truly amazing people, been presented with opportunities I never expected & have found a balance in my life I didn’t ever think was possible
But: I really want to thank My Twitter/X community for all the support & friendships
My life became a miserable, pathetic existence - gambling, drinking & eating crap everyday destroys your soul & everything around you
But I can Promise there is a way back, I’m not saying it’s easy but My God it’s worth it
4am work start - noon run & gym ✅
#Courage
I find it hard to believe that 5 years ago tomorrow I stood on the deck of that ferry in the middle of Atlantic Ocean & had reached my absolute rock bottom
Something stopped me jumping that day & for that last strand of hope, I’ll be forever grateful
Thank you 🙏
#courage
#WorldMentalHealthDay
Negative Addictions & eating rubbish as a way to find very short term happiness led me to the point of suicide at the beginning of 2019
Everything changed when I realised I could not keep doing the same things & expect a different outcome
So I changed
Booze & gambling nearly killed me!
I dragged myself out of the gutter to be living & experiencing a life today that I only believed existed in dreams
Never give up on getting that life you deserve
There isn’t a single person in the whole world who I’d rather be at dinner with this evening ❤️
Our first full proper night away from Isla as she is having a sleepover at her auntie’s
Dinner & home for a movie for us
I hope you’re all having a pleasant Saturday evening 🙌💚
I didn’t just Gamble huge sums of money I Gambled been a good Dad to my two boys
And I lost & more importantly my Boys lost their Dad, stability & parts of their childhood
As an Addict I was not in control of gambling & alcohol, recognising this & taking action took Courage