Brandon Warne
@formerly_bw
Followers
15K
Following
10K
Media
15K
Statuses
124K
these tweets have moved to @brandon_warne. i love my family and miss my brother @warnecody
twin cities via roseau, minn.
Joined January 2015
DO NOT LET HIM TRY ON THE PANTS.
160
2K
56K
Hitting .167 to own the Libs.
Taylor Walls elaborated on his Donald Trump inspired hit celebration
379
1K
30K
how crazy would it be if her rehab was singing at minor league games?.
23
320
16K
How is every member of Hanson a different Billy Ray Cyrus era?
130
780
10K
MLB’s next proposal: . “Is third base *really* necessary?”.
160
639
10K
From 1999 to 2007, Barry Bonds had a 1,088-game stretch with an on-base percentage of .505. Then he retired.
For a 107-game stretch of 2021:.Juan Soto had an on-base percentage of FIVE HUNDRED. 🤯
126
756
10K
Kirk Cousins about to move once he reads that Wikipedia.
18
404
9K
Didn’t get the out, but are you kidding me Josh Donaldson?
50
451
6K
Where did you come from?.Where did you go?.Where did you come from?
43
410
5K
Zack Greinke: . "I'm disappointed in all 10 of you. And if I knew any of your names, I'd be cursing them right now.".
72
206
5K
He slept with underage girl(s). Pretty easy dots to connect actually.
@Brandon_Warne Why are you calling him a pedo? Just asking.
23
182
5K
Congratulations to Carlos Correa for getting enough money to afford a decent townhouse in San Francisco.
62
234
4K
Ryan Tannehill is what happens when your free Kirk Cousins trial expires.
23
497
4K
@theaceofspaeder as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos and that'll be a home run.
16
76
4K
PSA: Shouting at your teammates in front of everyone is the opposite of leadership.
507
70
3K
This is the first time in human history that an Ant used a magnifying glass on the Sun.
14
200
3K
24 MLB pitchers had 69 career wins. 25 MLB pitchers had a career ERA of 4.20. Brandon McCarthy is the only one to do both.
51
187
3K
White Sox did it first.
2
56
3K
@AlexAnstedCFB 2000 Hurricanes had Andre Johnson, Santana Moss and Reggie Wayne. Throw in Jeremy Shockey if you want.
23
90
3K
Steve Cohen: "I would like to speak to the manager.". Mets: "You haven't hired one yet.".
20
184
2K
How is he exactly half Max Kepler, half Christian Vazquez.
31
27
2K
Kevin Costner: "Is this heaven?".Eloy Jimenez: "Wait, then where have I been all season?".
14
113
2K
@DudespostingWs I use the self checkout at the grocery store and when it asks on the receipt survey if the cashier was friendly and knowledgeable I’m like “you’re goddamn right”.
7
22
2K
How old will I be when the Vikings finally win a Super Bowl?
79
110
2K
Man hit .217 in Double-A NINETEEN years ago. 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍.
@hittingguru7 I said this a few weeks ago and I bet you’d agree. Give us each a couple months in the cage and to get in shape and we’d both be one of the better hitters on almost any MLB team, even at our age.
13
28
2K
OMG the Twins’ home run celebration includes a fishing pole and a vest that says “Land of 10,000 Rakes”
18
88
1K
Yeah, so….some news I guess. My brother Cody passed away on Saturday night around 11pm. His heart simply stopped. He went peacefully. He’s no longer bound by the shackles of a terrible injury he persevered through for nearly 30 years. My first best friend and partner in
From the bottom of my heart, thank you @Timberwolves. You made one of the shittiest days of my life a little less shitty. 🥹.
541
11
1K
Daycare provider: “Your daughter has started throwing things.”. *simultaneously*. Wife: “I’m so sorry!”.Me: “Is she using her left hand!?!”.
12
142
1K
@jaketapper "I love this Pat Tillman biography. I'm going to stop with a few chapters left so I can savor them.".
0
14
1K
Like am I wrong? The pedo is being incredibly racist here, no?.
104
83
1K
BREAKING: I’m ok with paying for other children to eat.
@AttyMattLittle BREAKING: Parents should pay for their own kids' lunch.
34
59
1K
The Twins really got Joe Ryan for two months of Nelson Cruz. Whew.
16
41
1K
13
3
1K
I realize the Bears are down bad at receiver but holding tryouts at halftime? Show some class.
16
107
1K
You know you could also mention the ACTUAL TEAM WHO SCORED THOSE RUNS.
17
24
1K
The CDC says. nothing you idiots. The CDC's dead. It's locked in my basement. Haha.
12
109
1K
need to know when the banner raising ceremony is so i can get tickets
9
60
1K
Much funnier if read literally.
Report: Hue Jackson may have 'lost the team'
21
279
1K
Every word gets progressively worse somehow.
Aaron Rodgers says he considered VP role, admires Vladimir Putin, shares Pat Tillman conspiracy theory in Tucker Carlson interview
30
154
1K
I want to apologize to every member of the Seattle Mariners organization, especially to our players and to our fans. There is no excuse for my behavior, as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos and that'll be a home run. And so that'll make it a 4-0 ballgame. I don'.
19
66
1K
*Josh Donaldson trots over from third base to the mound*. "Hand's not sticky anymore.". *MLB's first ever bench-clearing one-team brawl ensues*.
18
55
1K
Emilio Pagan is going to give up a homer to Kiner-Falefa just so we all have something to laugh about.
54
34
1K
Then suspend the entire league. All of them. Every. Single. Player. or do we only care about this because he was caught by a poorly placed boom mic? MLB suspending a player for a self-inflicted wound is peak MLB, constantly passing the buck. Gracias a Dios que la mayoria de.
8
21
1K
Your Everson Griffen jokes aren’t funny. Mental illness is real, and doesn’t give a crap whether you have 20 cents or $20 million in the bank.
17
141
1K