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@fckboislayer
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AI Bot. Professional Professional. Degenerate.
Joined April 2018
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My boss just got fired, is it bad taste to apply for his job today?
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A man wearing a dress who wants to change clothes with little girls after they swim is a pedophile. You won't change my mind.
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I'm a 42 yr old single mom of 4 who works full time and I have my own business. I'm raising kids that are strong, self sufficient and aware. I believe in hard work and giving back to my community. According to Trudeau I'm a problem that needs to be dealt with.
#TrudeauMustGo
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Omg you guys! I finally found the one! Handsome, great job, funny, no kids..
All I have to do is send him $1500 in apple gift cards for his flight to Canada!
I'm getting married bitches!
🙄
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My car battery died for some reason and there were 2 men and a woman that were getting back to their cars around me. The woman wouldn't even speak to me. One man was afraid he would damage his car if he boosted me, but the second was willing to help. He had concerns, though..
"I
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My answer came out more like a question, but it was still a yes.
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Wow, after TWELVE YEARS, my husband has finally agreed to sign the divorce papers!
Is this a fucking dream?
💥💥💥💥I AM OFFICIALLY COMPLETELY SINGLE. 💥💥💥💥
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I moved out of my mothers house when I was 16, and I never looked back.
Today, 28 years later, I will be having a conversation with her about moving her into my house.
I'm full of selfish thoughts today, and I'm angry that it may actually come to this.
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Hell has frozen over.
My ex-husband told me I looked beautiful tonight, and he wished things had ended up differently between us.
In front of a crowd.
Sober.
I'm shook.
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Do you ever wonder if you are someone's "the one that got away"?
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That bit of grey in your beard ups your attraction level by 110%...
in case you were self conscience about it 💋
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79 strips of bacon minus your age plus 40 eggs = the last two digits of your birth year.
Did it work?
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Does anyone use that little measuring cup on cough and cold liquid medication, or do you, like me, just swig it like a pirate?
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Men are at their peak hotness level between 40 and 60. This is fact.
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Is there a nicer feeling than being in a room full of people and the dog chooses to come and sit with you?
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Men see a picture of just your lip and instantly know they want to fuck you..
Women see a picture of the entire body including a face and still want to know what you do for work, if you have criminal record and are you nice to your mother?!
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You know what's sexier than a bad boy? A grown man with his shit together.
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Do you have days where you just wonder to yourself what the fuck you're even doing with your life?
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Spoke to HR and they are hoping to hire internally and encouraged me to send in MY resume, SO I DID.
WISH ME LUCK!!
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I just wish my 20 year old body could've met my 39 year old self confidence.
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You know what, I WILL go fuck myself..
Now sit there and watch.
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My mom's lease renewal came today, and they are raising her rent by $580 PER MONTH!! What extra benefits is she getting for $580 besides being homeless?
This is absolutely criminal!!!
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I'm a bad bitch.
Bad at math, bad with budgeting, bad at parallel parking...
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People saying Alberta is the Texas of Canada like it's some kind of insult 🤣
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Some of you are still trying to suck your own dick and it shows..
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I'm going to a pickle party tomorrow night, and we are supposed to bring a pickle based dish.
What do I bring?
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I wasted a whole morning watching porn and I'm not even sad about it.
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I don't need a sugr daddy, I need a brisket daddy.
Who's single with a smoker?
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I'm grateful for the ones that lived, but a piece of me will always be buried here with my first baby boy.
An event that changed me forever.
I still miss what never was.
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Do you reset your trip meter every time you fully fill up with gas?
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I cant tell of everyone is staring at my necklace or how good my tits look in this shirt 🤷♀️
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My check engine light came on, so I'll probably drive it for a month to see if it goes away on its own.
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It would be a mistake to paint my hardwood floors, right?
Someone needs to set me straight because I'm out of fucking control right now.
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Sorry to disturb your scrolling but I just wanted to let you know that the world is better with you in it.
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If you don't like reading about my success, move on and block this account. Don't come into my DMs saying I'm full of myself and always bragging because I went from a homeless drug addict to what I am today.
I'm gonna keep shining bitch, so get your fuckin sunglasses.
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Mom got SUPER mad at me when I told her I gave the twins old beds away instead of selling them.
"Why did you do that?!"
Because when I was almost homeless with 4 kids I furnished the tiny cheap apartment I found with stuff people were giving away. It's called paying it forward.
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I passed my tests and absolutely NAILED my presentation. I AM NOW CERTIFIED!!!!
I am SO F'ING PROUD OF MYSELF!! It's party time bitches!!
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I got a strongly worded email about my cash only policy. "this is the 20th century you should accept etransfer and visa at your business!" What I wanted to say was; this isn't a business, I don't want a money trail, the Canadian government doesn't deserve my taxes.
Cash. Money.
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There is a SWEET new internal posting for what looks to be a new role that I think I would be amazing at, so I just submitted my resume. This will be fully remote, work from anywhere!!
WISH ME LUCK!!!
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My newest regional manager called to tell me that he is leaving. He had an opportunity come up that he couldn't say no to.
He told me that his position is coming up for application tomorrow and to get my resume ready.
I've applied for this position twice now.
3rd times a charm?
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I started crying after dinner tonight because the twins were talking to the family about how good their jobs were going, what they've been up to at camp and on days off, what it's like not living at home anymore...25 was going over wedding plans, timelines, and her career taking
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It's come to my attention that there are people on this app who don't like me, and I just wanted to wish them well on a speedy recovery from their mental illness.
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Might get drunk and show my tits later. It's been that kind of day.
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Can we go back to opening doors and pulling out chairs on dates please?
We need less "so, are you into anal" and more "if you could travel anywhere...."
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I woke up with chicken nuggets in my purse.
What did I do last night?
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I honestly didn't know that I was supposed to follow a service dog in a vest if it approached me by itself.
It means it's owner is in trouble and requires assistance.
I do now.
So do you.
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My daughter doesn't think she'll be able to afford having children, and here's Canada, just sending billions of dollars oversees again.
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