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mikey

@fakebenzos

Followers
218
Following
140
Media
228
Statuses
1,709

We’re the trend setters, you’re the trend sweaters.

Philadelphia, PA
Joined August 2022
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Real shit
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
Girls only want one thing…and it’s my adderall prescription every month. 🫰🏻😔
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@fakebenzos
mikey
10 months
Unlike a lot of you I do in fact dream of “labor” like any respectable adult male should.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
5 months
The most “alcoholic” thing you can do is enjoy an NA beer.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Real shit 💯
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@fakebenzos
mikey
8 months
I work with this fucking asshole who looks like Kramer and he decides to play this 90 y/o six flags ass music on the hour drive home. I’m gonna strangle this idiot
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Best day of my life. Absolute milf and her 3 y/o kid bought the house next to ours. I knew the stars would align one day.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Gonna take a couple mushroom chocolates instead of adderall today. If I seem off it’s bc I AM
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
At my birthday dinner off an addy barely eating anything while sitting across from my brother who’s on suboxone falling asleep into his plate…while my mother chugs red wine and talks about her new boyfriend
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@fakebenzos
mikey
9 months
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
A pic of me with my absolute sister and a pic of me with my biggest, lil bro. 70 degrees and sunny today in Philly wow!!!!
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
There is absolute strength in needing others, it isn’t a weakness. But don’t call my phone at 3pm on some nut shit when you know 3pm is Mike time
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
This is a picture of my 23 y/o brother that he posted to main, 10 mins ago. What an awesome guy!!!!
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@fakebenzos
mikey
11 months
My old man, who was very close to me…passed away, this week like six years ago. Love ya pops! Miss ya all the time! Wish we could take one of these down, one last time.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
10 months
The fucking worst Chinese spot in port Richmond fucking exploded earlier
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@fakebenzos
mikey
10 months
You’re telling me I gotta pay a cover at the “door” to a punk rock flea market just to browse awful crass/garfield bootlegs ??? What…
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@fakebenzos
mikey
11 months
No shot this is a real Danny brown lyric
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
Unlike all of my haters…I have not suffered once from the great American adderall shortage.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Time & time again…drugs prove to be the solution AND the problem to many things in my life. But that’s the way that the world goes ‘round I suppose
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Arisen from the hangover. Let’s get stimmed.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
9 months
High on adhd medication in my room replying to every girl’s selfie with “so true queen”
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@fakebenzos
mikey
11 months
Hair is long enough again to wear a bandanna around my dome like a hibachi chef
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@fakebenzos
mikey
5 months
“Guy blows himself” vid took 45 mins to DL from dial-up internet and it was a guy taking a bullet to his head.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Walking past Allegheny to hit the bodega, I saw a teenager in a Gel shirt and said “what up antifa?” MF got SO mad 🤣 mboi I’m just stoned…lighten up
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@fakebenzos
mikey
7 months
Uber driver said I had to get out and call another Uber bc I smelt like a lb of za
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
Love it when hot chicks eat giant cheeseburgers
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@fakebenzos
mikey
4 months
I miss my father
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@fakebenzos
mikey
6 months
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
Just spent tooo much money on plane tix. BUT against all odds I’ll be in Chicago/Louisville the 12th - 16th of January. (For my dreaded birthday)
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@fakebenzos
mikey
3 months
Rewind the Kensington Ave livestream camera 3 to 2:29pm and then again at 2:40~2:50pm to watch me buy an adderall off a teenager and then make fun of a bike cop before tripping on my shoe lace and getting made fun of by the bike cop. - Mike
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Thinking about switching my line of work to “working from home on a laptop on my couch” bc you MFs seem to have 100 thousand dollars, smoke pot all day and order doordash. (Had a great day of work today btw)
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@fakebenzos
mikey
7 months
Found in a senior citizen home. We sleeping good tn baby
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
No wonder my ex hated it when I’m outside, they love me out here!!!
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Adderall refill day!!!!!
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Next person that says I look like Anthony Kiedis gotta die. This fool looks like hell
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@fakebenzos
mikey
9 months
Huge thank you to everyone for everything last night. It must really suck ass to not be us because my friends fucking rule!!!
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Since it seems a lot of y’all are confused….what love really is…. is to reveal yourself fully to someone and to not withhold, no matter the outcome.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
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@fakebenzos
mikey
10 months
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@fakebenzos
mikey
8 months
Got called into work on my one off day this week. That means after today I will have worked 14 days straight of manual labor. Gonna croak any min
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
This beverage makes klonopin explode like a bomb in your stomach brother… 👍 😎
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Man I got absolutely no patience for alcoholics…just show up to work on time yo…it’s Wednesday and you’re addicted to beers 😂
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
I’m a modern man…I’d let my wife have a girlfriend but there’s not a shot in hell she gonna also date “some guy”
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
Drunk as hell for no reason
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@fakebenzos
mikey
7 months
Adderall is the money pill. I’m either taking one and getting MAD money or I’m selling them and getting MAD money. Either way IM UP
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@fakebenzos
mikey
9 months
Sorry libs but ain’t a goddamn shot a rabid west Philly raccoon stands a chance against this size 12 leather boot
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Gonna invite our sexy neighbor and her kid to the BBQ today…I will not be inviting the husband. She looks like she could use a break from life and to be around some hot, funny, charismatic and well-behaved men.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
11 months
I want a remote job where I don’t gotta leave the crib SO bad. I wanna sit on my ass and gain 30lbs. It’d do wonders for my mental health.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
Just heavily scored at sit & spin
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
One Gay bud light please
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@fakebenzos
mikey
7 months
Me and Dan Longo doing the manual labor side job on a Sunday while the rest of you busters sleep in and door dash 45 dollars worth of quick stop.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
6 months
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@fakebenzos
mikey
6 months
Gotta unfollow all these cartel and hood news IG pages. Just opened my phone to a vid of a young man’s face getting cut off….need to follow some large breasted bimbos to realign the algorithm
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@fakebenzos
mikey
9 months
Violently hungover. Thank god it’s #adderallrefillday
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Missing my mom and brother today like a MF
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@fakebenzos
mikey
7 months
Off work in 30 mins. Been so greatful for this short work week and lots of nice weather. I can feel my luck starting to change and I can feel a shift in my immediate circle of friends as well. I have a strange feeling everything is gonna be just fine. Enjoy your weekend
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
I just quit my job now I can stay out all night long
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Nothing but love for my twin sister!!! 🫶🏻
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@fakebenzos
mikey
9 months
Huge shout out to the addy man and the xan man all being prompt with the holiday serve today. True heroes.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
8 months
Working all morning with my boy GREG, forgot how much fun manual labor is when you’re drinking Busch light at noon.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
My mom’s bday today. I’m not home. I’m in Philadelphia. Love you mom!!!!!
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@fakebenzos
mikey
10 months
Going to an “ICP” themed bday party tn but instead gonna paint my face like the gay guy from kiss (star on the eye w/da lipstick)
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@fakebenzos
mikey
3 months
Okay all my pieces are hitting bc the milf Neighbor just blatantly hit on me. Life is good.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
9 months
I haven’t been able to vote in like a decade, never heard of the Philly Mayor…but she put on an entire facade to “clean up” the ave today, strictly for news cameras. The only thing she did was incarcerate my young bouls and move dope fiends outta camera angles. Rot in hell BiTCh
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Last day in KY. Hiking to a waterfall with some beautiful women. What else could a man possibly ask for???
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
What’s up you fuckin scumbags
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE BUT I CANT CAUSE I GOTTA GO TO WORK TOMORROW AND I AINT GOT NO FUCKIN TIME
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
“He was a great guy he just got addicted to back pills.”
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@fakebenzos
mikey
8 months
Most psychotic piece at the Noc art gallery tn. Pics don’t do it justice.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
11 months
Yesterday I won 100 dollars on a 3 dollar scratcher
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@fakebenzos
mikey
5 months
@hated4loving Real men don’t wear shorts outside of the house. I’ll wear denim and move furniture in 90 degree heat before I wear shorts in public
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
It’s gonna be 68 and sunny tomorrow. Gonna hit the record store on passyunk then spend a paycheck at machine shop if anyone wants to watch me mansplain French pastry on amphetamines
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@fakebenzos
mikey
5 months
You wouldn’t believe my location even if my location services were on
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Smoking absolute ZAZA on the Frankford L in peace & harmony. Not a junkie or yuppie in sight.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
4 months
Some fucking grays ferry punk fed me mushrooms at the crusty/south Philly punk party and I walked back in and tripped on a balloon and spilled THREE drinks and everyone is mad at ME!???????
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@fakebenzos
mikey
8 months
Can’t walk outside of my house without spending 100 dollars
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Secondly, everything “else” in this world is just a substitute for love
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
Me and the boys on vacation
@nonpoccafe
saltypickles
2 years
Jordan Sullivan, Travelodge, 2022
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@fakebenzos
mikey
11 months
On god in heaven. Now stfu and witness history
@PicturesFoIder
non aesthetic things
11 months
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
It is very very hard to change
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@fakebenzos
mikey
11 months
With all due respect… you got no fuckin’ idea what it’s like to be #1
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@fakebenzos
mikey
6 months
My 24 y/o brother just posted this on IG. Thoughts?
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Unexpected epic Friday morning. My new favorite day to have off work.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
11 months
Legalize anything
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@fakebenzos
mikey
3 months
Smelling like a pound on the Amtrak. Old woman next to me doing the NY times crossword is mortified.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
The IPhone repair guy saw me pop half an addy while I was waiting for him to fix my screen and then proceeded to get 50 dollars off after I asked if he wanted one. S/O Jarry at Philly phone repairs at the no libs location. This man is one of us.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
I am drunk on two glasses of champagne and a bowl of French fries just like it used to be 👍
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
yeah just keep kicking me when I’m down !!! 🫶🏻
@thhrsday
just broke enough
1 year
an iconic moment of genuine love that made me crack up i love them both so much
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
Listening to the world war 4, 8-song demo as the ADHD medication kicks in.
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Can anyone break down what is going on here and why multiple ppl I call “friend” have reposted it? Is metalcore like that 3rd cro mags record? Bc that shit sucks!!! Who tf listens to metalcore? Who TF is this Andrew Francis? I thought this was unfunny irony or sumn but it’s not?
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@fakebenzos
mikey
2 years
LP of 2023 no contest
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Blasting rap music walking around the crib like a free man since all of my roommates are gone. Might mop the sidewalk or sweep the ceiling or do push ups til the stims wear off
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@fakebenzos
mikey
1 year
Too drunk to take drugs tf is going
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@fakebenzos
mikey
5 months
DELCO MFs JUST CRUSHED THE FOTO CLUB PATIO. WHAT A FUCKING SET
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@fakebenzos
mikey
9 months
Decided I wasn’t gonna go back outside again tonight so I finally caved and DLed the betMGM app and within ten seconds hit a jackpot on a 50 cent slot. So siiiick. Maybe I’ll go back outside tonight now 🤔
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