evo psych googling
@evopsychgoogle
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evolutionary psychologist. Elsevier board member. eugenics policy advisor. author of 'kiDNApped: is your child's genetics attracting crime?'
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woman: im in terrible pain and i need help
doctor: the bad news is that u have rectovaginal endometriosis
woman: oh no...
doctor: but the good news is im enrolling u in a study
woman: u mean like a clinical trial?
doctor: [staring directly at the womans chest] oh, youll see...
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not my impatient ass taking the marshmallow now instead of waiting for more marshmallows later 😂😂
ⓘ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗔𝗧 𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀
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step aside expert lady, i just solved that long-standing debate in ur field. simply by entering my mind palace
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guess which one is a professor of population genetics. the answer may surprise you
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women's high IQ is truly one of the great paradoxes of evolution. likely a by-product of male IQ, where IQ originates
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found a professor who appears to be upset that he can't get funding for his research idea: ranking the races from best to worst
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"all patients had informed consent"
"however we didnt tell them that the true purpose of the study would be to get ogled at and rated on a scale of 1-10"
"all patients had informed consent"
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[paleolithic guy sick of picking berries everyday] we did not evolve to "hunt and gather". we evolved to live in a multicellular community of 20-30 million. you'd filter feed and secrete mucus and that was your day
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this is so beautiful. witness the birth of a new evo psych theory in real time, a rare and wonderous sight
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running trillions of long-term evolution experiments on a cosmic scale in my mind and concluding that such an alien lifeform would inevitably grow a cock and balls
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depressing fact about society: the mean IQ score has remained stangnant at 100 for decades, and still hasnt improved
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"intriguingly, some of the sick patients we treated were smoking hot. the more in pain they were, the hotter we noticed they were"
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primalpoly: fine. go ahead. just u try to get a hoax paper past my peer review skills. lets see how it goes...
*accepts a phrenology paper for publication that assumes the earth is flat and that humans can walk on water*
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charles murray, prophesying the arrival of evidence vindicating the bell curve
1994: in three or four years we'll see whos right ;)
1995: five years from now
2014: probably less than a decade
2019: within a few years...
2049: (moments before death) any minute now
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eugenics is wrong... or is it?... ha ha just kidding, its wrong...
...unless?
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why did evolution design the female anatomy to be so horrifying? my hypothesis is it's a test for men. those brave enough to suck it up and do their duty pass on their genes, thus forging strong men. hard men. men with splendid anatomy, glistening musculature, hard abs...
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mmm the real lack of evidence around this disease is... the biological mechanism for why it turns me on. this should be priority.
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just droppin by to mention how attractive my wives are. very bangable both of them (altho i think the first one dead now)
BRAVO
R
A
V
A
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alright im back wat i miss
[NOTIFICATION TAB]: THE GATES TO HELL HAVE OPENED
ah
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women shouldn't be allowed to play poker against men as they have certain biological advantages when it comes to poker (mind reading, psychic attacks, etc.), it's unfair
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the life of geoffrey miller, a story in three parts...
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cool science fact: our primitive brains see patterns in all kinds of things even when there are none. we know this thanks to research in evolutionary psychology
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@BretWeinstein
@waitbutwhy
...
showering
pleasuring my wife
foreskin
those little air fresheners in cars
wiping my ass
shoes
character creation menus in RPGs
subtitles
music with electrical instruments
c-sections
washing vegetables
mirrors
anti-drunk driving ads
replacing leeches with medicine
soap
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this is the evo psych version of when a physicist claims they solved cancer with quantum field theory but instead of doing weird math u simply pronounce whichever hypothesis sounds the coolest as the right one.
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ok lets take a brief detour to see the forum discussion:
"THIS👏ARTICLE👏IS👏NOT👏SEXIST👏"
(rly its the critics who are the sexist ones)
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(lowly biologist): you can't just say everything is an adaptation. you're ignoring things like genetic drift, stochastic noise in development, phenotypic spandrels, even culture!
(wise evolutionary psychologist, seated like Buddha): perhaps dying in childbirth is an adaptation
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i was just an apolitical academic studying race and IQ. but then my university prohibited professors from having sex with students. that's when i realized that the woke mind virus is a threat to the very survival of our species
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professor
@jordanbpeterson
sir, i tried to raise my son to jack off to trad porn, but recently i walked in on him jacking off to thicc tatted up goth girls on the computer. professor, i need your guidance, i'm afraid
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ladies, listen to ur evolutionary programming. evolution loves u and wants u to be happy :)
[ladies become dom hypergamous praying mantis overlords]
wait no i meant staying out of tech jobs
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hate to see this fracture in the rationalist community between the rationalists who believe in race science and vaccines and the rationalists who believe in race science but not vaccines 😔
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he used Bayes theorem to say "women be shoppin"
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why do women get the urge to bite their bf? maybe it's the genetic memories of their praying mantis ancestors kicking in. we must investigate further
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every biologist: we tried to characterise this conserved domain of unknown function for 3 years. we tried everything. we have no idea what it does
every race realist: i can see into our evolutionary past with my brain. i can hear the symphony of evolution and i am the maestro
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women love getting into pseudoscience like energy crystals and stuff. guys don't fall for pseudoscience tho, because only women evolved to gather berries, so they mistake crystals for berries due to their lower IQ as predicted by their smaller skull size
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in an ideal world women would say "no babe, i love your small penis size, it predicts a high IQ and IQ is one the most reliable predictors of numerous important life outcomes (Rushton & Bogaert 1987)". but instead they ignore science, and civilisation is dying
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science is so political nowadays. you used to be able to measure a child's skull for criminal predilections, but then science got too political so now you can't do stuff like that anymore
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just generated a tonne of new data from my latest thought experiment. WOW! doing the analysis in my brain now... NO WAY!
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academic freedom means the freedom do stats like this
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evo psych bro: i dont know why women hate evo psych so much. guess they must suck at science
evo psych:
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oh...
...feel like that might have been a good one to do
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the student learns from his master
@Alex05910347
Has nothing to do with preference. Circumcision has stood the test of evolutionary time. If it was simply negative, selection would have eliminated it.
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SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGHS OF THE DECADE
biology:
- CRISPR
- atomic resolution CryoEM
- mRNA vaccines
evo psych:
- women attain peak beauty when their spine is bent at 45.5°
- dudes with beards get a +0.2% modifier to their MILF seduction roll 😎
- dogs have IQ too
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losing my temper in public on such a regular basis that i have a personal top 5 worst racist meltdowns
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if bad thing was truly bad, evolution would have eliminated it. yet here bad thing still is, even after thousands of generations of evolution. therefore bad thing must be good thing
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man fuck these lit professors who ruin james joyce with their political beliefs
now allow me, an amateur citing another amateur, to speculate on how genetics will one day confirm my political beliefs
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why is everyone telling me to "shut the fuck up"
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arguing to university HR that the dozen sexual harassment cases against me actually make me MORE employable from an evo psych standpoint
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"you have a great CV, but i notice you published no papers in 2020. why?" -- interview panel for the one academic job opening in 2025
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just discussing the evolution of historical warfare with lots of real historical examples :)
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only a couple of weeks ago the latest theory was that boobs evolved to look like "front butts". now we're thinking faces evolved to be "bottom-like". the field is moving fast
The erotic appeal of the human-typical face-to-face posture during sex may related to the fact that human faces have evolved to become more “bottom-like”.
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i trained a machine learning model on faces that i classified as either left or right-wing and, wow, more than half the time it mimics what i think of a face. physiognomy is scientifically true
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can evolutionary psychology help defend my good friends child sex trafficking side hustle
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this was never a comedy account. this has always been a horror account
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it's admirable that Andrew Sullivan continues to play into the joke that he's fascinated by skull size by sharing a race science paper that actually correlates skull size with IQ
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it's often extremely easy to tell what the inspiration behind a race science project was. this one was likely "boobs make me horny...but perhaps they'd make me more horny if i combined them with race science?🤔"
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@EricRWeinstein
every day i get paid stacks of cash by a billionaire to post reddit comments but on twitter and people tell me to shut up. i am living the black experience
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the sorting hat wasnt magic it was doing phrenology
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new evo psych paper says that liberals are evolving lower IQ, while Mormons and conservatives have evolved immunity against dysgenic effects.
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pre-conscious awareness of the infinitesimal is a German racial trait
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rectovaginal endometriosis turns ur eyes blue this is what im reading here
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weve all been there ladies. ur at a store shopping for a new shade of lipstick, the female sales assistant says "that looks good", but a chill runs up ur spine, u turn to her, she stares back. both ur eyes narrow in suspicion. shes lying. shes trying to steal the good dick from u
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this science of mine was rejected by Nature Human Behavior. this is what they're trying to hide from you
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yes brother i sure do love those *stares into distance* mature female homo sapiens with their *stares into distance* swollen mammary glands and their *Kubrick stare* various collection of functional organs
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missed opportunity rly. he of all ppl should know that these intricate patters can only be the result of one thing: sexual selection.
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one of my favourite evo psych theories is that bisexual and lesbian women exist as the evolutionary end product of men wanting to have a threesome
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"is it ok to cheat on my wife if the mistress is hot??" is a real question at the forefront of evo psych
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back to the paper.
"sofia, cancel all scheduled appointments for the rest of the week. i have 300 patient files i must attend to"
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its weird that women dont have an in-built kill switch that automatically kills them once they can no longer fulfill their evolutionary purpose
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[me having an affair] look, men are programmed to spread their seed. so of course guys cheat on their wives, that's just nature. but women can't accept science
[my wife having an affair] How Unchecked Female Hypergamy Destroys Society - my latest Substack
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why did evo psych professor diana fleischman delete a tweet about how the jews should thank the nazis for winning nobel prizes
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i dont know, some doctors are into that kind of thing
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what are the cool kids calling eugenics these days
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new in quillette: why is academic freedom dying? that's right, it's women's evolved psychology
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how many evolutionary psychologists have been forced into homelessness because of stephen jay gould
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sometimes an abstract hooks your attention so well that you have to read the entire paper. eager to see where the author goes with this
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(thinking about how aliens would evolve) i bet they're just like me
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if lead lowers IQ then what is the element that raises IQ
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unpaid intern at the NIH: "eugenics is bad"
professor of evolutionary psychology: "go fuck yourself..."
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what if my paper is just *too* good for peer review
@michaelshermer
Perhaps. It is the obvious answer. But I hope you can also appreciate the predicament: I’m claiming my field has become stuck. Am I a crank, or someone at risk of embarrassing colleagues? You’re suggesting I ask those colleagues to make the call. What could possibly go wrong?
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steven pinkers hair might look silly to u, but behind it lies a heartbreaking backstory. its not hair at all, but his brain, which is so big that its being forced out of the pores in his skull like play-doh
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while the other kids played with hotwheels, i toyed with something much more dangerous: ideas
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