jess 🏳️🌈💜🖤💫
@elsecaller_
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perpetually Going Through It | cosmere, dnd, critical role, soulsbourne, and other fantasy ✨| she/her/hers | pfp: vacuum_chan
the astral plane
Joined January 2009
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U STEAL MY HEART 1STMEET
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if you drank this after an extended fast, it’s very possible that you would legitimately die
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guy who thinks that 15 dollar minimum wage is too high but 400k a year is just getting by
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cigarettes are the perfect example of something being hot in an aesthetic or hypothetical way but are actually very unsexy in practice
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“So it’s 2021, my first time captaining a container ship, and we’re heading for the Suez Canal…”
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@krubner
because of the amount of carbohydrates and lack of key minerals — your body would try to start processing all of the carbs and rapidly deplete the remaining stores of phosphates and electrolytes, which when severe enough can cause cell damage, lack of blood oxygen & heart failure
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i swear to god, some people have never seen a human being outside of a photoshoot or movie
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you claim to hate cops and yet you are committed to being the fun police, curious
stop the stupid Kamala memes and joking about her being your drunk aunt stop obscuring the violence of these people. Kamala Harris is your class enemy and her goofy idioms don’t mean a thing
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do people think climate change is going to literally end the world cartoon-style in the next 50 years ?
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one of my all time favorite posts
It feels like a lot of Ukraine contrarianism ultimately boils down to “oh-ho, it seems you wish for your country and its allies to have glory and success but do not wish the same for its enemies, what say you, hypocrite?” and like -all else being equal, yes, guilty. Moving on.
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@tahukann
the surgeon in the video says "half of all blindness in the world is people who need a 10 minute surgery" like it cool and not horrifically depressing
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asking utilitarians how they know the amount of utility something generates
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@xaviersonline
OP is right, if a woman tried this she would bounce off an invisible barrier before reaching the water
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fun fact! there are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
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one of the main problems of dating apps is that you are encouraged to frame yourself as broadly desirable as possible, which pushes people to the most bland, safe, cardboard cutout shit imaginable
“This year I really want to: Travel more”
“Let’s debate this topic: Pineapple on pizza”
“I’m weirdly attracted to: Men”
“Biggest risk I’ve taken: _____ during the middle of a pandemic”
“The best way to ask me out is by: Asking me out”
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cigarettes in theory: omg she’s so hot what a bad bitch
cigarettes in practice: i am very nauseous
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if i had to choose between millions of dollars one time or 8 dollars a month, i’m taking the 8 dollars every time
why? two words: passive income 💪🏻🤑💯
New: That fake verified Eli Lilly account sparked a panic inside the pharma giant, and senior execs decided they'd had enough, freezing all Twitter ad campaigns in a huge blow to
@elonmusk
. "For $8," they lost out on "millions of dollars in ad revenue"
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@BlackSalander
all the NZ film workers were asking for was to be paid at the same rates as US film crews, but apparently that was unthinkable to WB, who would rather interfere with the labor laws of a sovereign nation than pay fair wages
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@KnowNothingTV
procrastinating going to the bathroom is probably my most bizarre adhd symptom and yet I do it almost every single day
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@h2katl
anyway the belief that your kids will achieve something that will make your effort to raise them “worth it” is absurdly unhealthy and weird
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my partner left a note on the fridge that said “this isn’t working. goodbye.” but I opened it and it seems to be working fine??
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cop on twitter: "i'm currently investigating how to prevent people from buying drugs online"
replies & quotes: "heh, too bad thisishowtobuydrugs(.)com exists, making it easy for people to buy drugs online"
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@ettingermentum
it’s called “The Good Doctor” not “The Good Surgeon” — Dr Han will be vindicated
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“new twitter alternative”
“please connect your instagram account”
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@krubner
it does want them, but when it start metabolizing them, it uses up the body’s stores of key nutrients, which were likely already very low due to the fast
being sufficiently deficient in those minerals can be fatal
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@StacyCaySlays
the myth of the hyper-efficient nazis is literally just nazi propaganda that people bought into because of the swift defeat of france and the influence of riefenstahl’s work
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how did "fictional characters can't consent to me watching their lives" lose
Congratulations to our Worst Tweet of 2022 as decided by the voters
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there are 3 women listed in the top 100 earners on twitch and people are still finding ways to whine about them
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you told a 14 year old boy "that's an adult kiss, let's do the rest when you get back" is that right, Ms. Katsuragi?
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i'm genuinely curious about what people who think it's not from ASoIaF think that a "summer child" is and why it implies a naive connotation
it's so funny to me when people say "my sweet summer child" cuz like, that's from game of thrones. it wasn't a saying before that. nice game of thrones reference. nerd.
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happy anniversary to the comic that launched a thousand gender-change fanfics
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slept with a girl last week and she did not disclose to me she was cis until yesterday, can i press charges for assault ? i thought she was normal but she concealed her cis identity
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what seemingly controversial opinion do you have that all your followers agree with so you can quote tweet this post for clout and spread this horrible genre of tweet made for making purposefully inflammatory and negative statements that force ppl to take sides & drive engagement
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"when was your last period"
"i don't get periods, i don't have a uterus"
"oh did you have a hysterectomy?"
"no, i was born without one"
"ummm okay, well we should still do a pregnancy test"
"i'm trans"
"got it, no pregnancy test then"
love interacting w/ the medical world
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@KnowS0mething
“the worst sec of transportation we’ve had in 60 years”
without looking it up, name one other secretary of transportation
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stop saying “gamer” and use people first language
say “Person of Games” or POG
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i can not imagine this because i can’t imagine a tank column rolling through the streets of the US
@HaileyBWinslow
@FOXLA
@POTUS
@SecretService
@LAPDHQ
@JoeBiden
Now can you imagine a tank column stopping because of one protestor and try to circule around him instead of running over in the USA? Now guess which country is the "land of the free"
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