emily layton
@e_layts
Followers
89
Following
2K
Statuses
221
Writer, filmmaker & general liability. she/her
London, England
Joined May 2009
played junior monopoly with my 5 y/o this morning - he cried when he had to pay me rent and honestly same hun
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3 year old woke up crying hysterically for the second time this evening. When I asked if I could get him anything to help he threw his head back and bellowed without a hint of context “I JUST WANT SOME SNOW” at the ceiling so that should be an easy fix
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this evening my son told me he couldn’t get to sleep because my breathing was “too loud and too much” and asked if I could “please stop” how’s your week going?
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If I just tagged you in a tweet trying to flog sunglasses (maybe although who knows what'd happen when you clicked on those links), sorry lads! Thanks to everyone who alerted me to the fact that I need to up my password game 😘
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@BenWPope @thetouchbase @MouthWideShut18 @Joe_kelly29 @MainPrinces @joshanchana @MoodieThomas @SophitaReynolds @meganohenson @emiliemaybank Oh man who’s done this to me
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when we said hot girl summer I’m not sure any of us meant *this hot*
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@DaisyBard 'First Life' makes this sound like a reincarnation application form - like "I didn't fancy this first time around but maybe on my second or third go I would?"
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Just discovered there's an episode of Paw Patrol called "Pups Get Skunked" and tea came out of my nose
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Thanks iPhone that’s about as useful as a 12-hour delivery slot window - let the games of underwear roulette begin 🎉
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RT @MiirandaWrites: I'm looking to speak to a medical expert on how antidepressants can affect contraception - deadline flexible. Retweets…
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Leo's new favourite "game" is shouting I HAVE A COUGH randomly as we walk down the street (he doesn't) and it really is a fucking nightmare
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Today my son said that his lunch tasted “lucky” and these are the only kinds of magical descriptions I’m interested in hearing from now on thanks
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RT @RTaylorHunt: Do you need to hire an Intimacy Director? With Intimacy Pōneke, I created this basic guideline for directors, producers &…
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RT @archiehench: The thing i love most about Bill Withers singing is how much he looked like a shy uncle who's been asked to give a speech…
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