Kristoffer Dalziel Profile Banner
Kristoffer Dalziel Profile
Kristoffer Dalziel

@diezel_21

Followers
610
Following
1,884
Media
89
Statuses
23,365

Whickham, England
Joined February 2016
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
I've signed up to do the Edinburgh Marathon in May. I'm going to be running for the Glasgow Children's Hospital Charity (Yorkhill) Any donations would be appreciated. Will be some laugh as I've never ran past 10k in my life Going to hate myself in may😂
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 months
Task failed successfully Moan the @AirdrieoniansFC 🤣
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
8 months
@ROUNDTHEBEND__ That’s up there with the oil rig one
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
Sappenin bitton @kierantierney1
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 month
@Joey7Barton I can’t recall ever raping anyone joey lol
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
42 euro for 2 vodkas in Amnesia and the bird moaned I didn't give a tip. Here's one don't eat yellow snow ya cow
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 months
@rhysmurphy77 The biggest event at Sunderland this season was Bruce Springsteen and Beyoncé playing concerts there pal 😂
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
HND in Accounting passed. Ibiza on Saturday and no back to uni till September hwg #YOLT
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
I: ⚪️am drunk ⚪️sober 🔘huv hud 3 vodka cokes and am mad wae it
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 months
Hi Manpreet do you want picked up in the morning pal
@ManpreetPTFC_V5
Manpreet 🇧🇪
3 months
I fucking hate penalties.
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
23 days
@ManpreetPTFC_V5 Alexa Sum up partick thistle fans in one tweet
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 months
The ref saw the lightning and thought I’m not chancing Eriksen dying two euros in a row 😂 #EURO2024   #GERDEN
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
You owe me £50
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
Never ever bet against your own team. Bet Airdrie to draw and it done me for £50,000 😥 won 4-1 and I'm sitting face tripping me
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
I have a spare for the Old Firm game on the 29th in the Rangers end. Looking for £50 for the ticket Drop me a text on +447867804324 RT please
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 year
@Browning84Greg My dogs only gona be alive for 10-12 years so if I can have him with me I will Had a great morning out with him at beach there and think they’d much enjoy that more than being locked in a crate while I’m away for a few hours
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
@Brian_Glow pishy recycled patter
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
@AndrewBarnsley5 No as hard as you were acting with an IP address you did fuck all about
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 years
When my jeans don’t fit after the Christmas holidays
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 year
E I E I E I O
@AirdrieoniansFC
Airdrieonians FC
1 year
♦️🎮♦️ | Good luck to our representatives at Sunday's @eScottishCup tournament at Hampden, Kristoffer Dalziel and John McMillan! All the best, guys... mon the Diamonds!
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
Any printing on your top son? Aye francis 1. Aww is that for a son or a nephew? Naw i’m taking to rome for the pope 😂😂
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
8 years
Kolo Toure was in Slaters in Glasgow today and bought 400 quid worth a boxers 😂😂😂😂
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
@hs15x Get it up ye ya tart
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
All fun and games going out all weekend acting a ticket then wake up on Monday realising you're a fat wanker with some comedown and no phone
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 years
Equal pay
@bateson87
bateson87
2 years
FIFA goal
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420
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
Fuck knows how the keeper got to that. Outstanding no wonder they want equal pay
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
8 years
boy in ma college just got dumped off his bird. said to him keep the heid up. He said the only time my heads down is when am sniffing lines😂
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 years
Why did they not quit in 2017😂
@TheScotsman
The Scotsman
2 years
Clyde FC women's team quit club over decision to take striker David Goodwillie back on loan from Raith Rovers
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
His accents abysmal not Scottish fitba
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
at a royal rumble quiz and one teams name was WWE are the people 😂
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 years
Ladies and gentlemen, the queen.
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@AVFCOfficial
Aston Villa
3 years
Aston Villa Football Club is delighted to announce the appointment of Steven Gerrard as our new Head Coach. 🟣
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 year
Bet you wish it pulled away now. Get it up ye 😂😂😂
@ManpreetPTFC_V5
Manpreet 🇧🇪
1 year
Run 4 busses and this is how they repay you. Some start to the day 😂. Come On The Jags 🇧🇪🇧🇪🇧🇪
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
@siferry8 Get a run home in Tommy gravesens 4.2 litre audi be home in no time
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
Mad how guys play football for 20 odd years and still be shite but burds do make up for 2 minutes and charge 45 quid a skull for it
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
4 years
I know this man his name is Gerard Green @gerrygreen1988
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
8 years
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
Are #teamfusion still kicking a baw aboot
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 year
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
Unfortunately had a few time wasters so this is still available
@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
I have a spare for the Old Firm game on the 29th in the Rangers end. Looking for £50 for the ticket Drop me a text on +447867804324 RT please
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
No bad
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 months
@ManpreetPTFC_V5 Partick Thistle boing boing
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 months
@ManpreetPTFC_V5 Hope the bus leaves without you again
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 years
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@afowler06
Anthony Fowler
3 years
It’s coming wait for it 🤦‍♂️
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 month
@SunAndTanLines Neither do orange walks 👀
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 years
Keeper really unlucky there
@itvfootball
ITV Football
2 years
11 goals in 14 appearances for the @Lionesses . That is just incredible, @ellatoone99 👏 📺 @ITV4 📱
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 months
@ScotlandNT Steve Clarke to Oli McBurnie
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 years
Don’t know how folk can watch formula 1 tried to watch for 10 mins there boring as fuck
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
@_mlarson Wanty go halfers ?
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
@danniellehendry DM me them if you want
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 years
What a team 🫡♦️
@AirdrieoniansFC
Airdrieonians FC
2 years
Full-time: Airdrieonians 6-4 Montrose. It’s the Diamonds who progress to the final after a nice quiet 120 minutes.
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 year
@carsonritchie__ I suppose you were as outraged at him playing when he was captaining Clyde for 6 years ?
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
@janeparkx Wits up chick pm me
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
can't believe @Graeme0908 robbed the thrashbush bookies so he could stockpile on old recipe @irnbru . get the old recipe back you're ruining communities
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
I wonder if Yves Ma-Kalambay is still kicking a ball about
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
8 years
What a feeling waking up fresh and skelping a Stella knowing you have #SpaceClosingFiesta tonight. Here we!
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
@janeparkx Young bush
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
8 years
Cany stop watching this man hahaha
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
Buzzing that diving wanker Neymar is out. Get it up you
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 years
When Boris Johnson is wishing you well that's when you know you're the scourge of Scotland
@BorisJohnson
Boris Johnson
2 years
I want to wish @RangersFC the very best of luck in tonight’s @EuropaLeague final. I know that you’ll do us all proud. #UELfinal
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 months
@Browning84Greg Hopefully you don’t offer any dons fans a square go 🤣
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
Party in casino update. 1500 in the red.
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
This Harry Kane patter is shite
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 year
@EvanMcFarlane So if you’re quadrupling your money tax free you’re not taking it 🤣
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 months
@Browning84Greg Enjoy your pint mate get it up ye 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
Leigh Griffiths punts Herbalife. Pass it on.
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 months
@talkingsopranos When you coming to the UK guys
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 years
Breaking news. Gerrard not going to take a good position that has become available because he won’t be going with Rangers fans best wishes. More to follow
@IainStewart72
Iain Stewart ✌️
3 years
If he left end of season, he goes with everybody’s best. Leaving now? Absolutely fuck him, gerrard and rangers should never be mentioned in same sentence again. Hope villa goes down and his career over. 🐀🐀
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 years
Trained with them last year and didn’t get signed. This tweet is my official retirement 😂😂😂😂
@WinlatonFC
Winlaton Community FC
2 years
FULL TIME | We Lost.
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 months
@Gastro_Celtic Footballer supports team he grew up supporting shock 😂
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 months
@logan_bak If you hadn’t have deliberately flooded your pitch for the original game this challenge wouldn’t have happened Fair tackle IMO
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 years
Wow 😂
@HrmQueene
HRM Camilla (Parody)
2 years
Oh, this isn’t good!
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 years
Christmas dinner at 6.30am man 🤣🤣🤣
@iamtomskinner
Thomas Skinner ⚒
2 years
Good morning and happy Thursday you lovely people! Me breakfasts are getting that famous at Dinos that the newspapers have turnt up this morning to take photos! Wishing you all a fantastic day, go smash it! I’m gonna enjoy me Christmas dinner and go smash the day. Bosh ❤️
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
22 days
@ManpreetPTFC_V5 Maybe if you have a jobbie Manpreet the St Mirren fans will wipe your arse for ye Manpreet
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 year
@EvanMcFarlane This aged well
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
Is it mandatory to burst out crying if you get injured in a final ? #liverpool #realmadrid #UCLFinal
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
@Gary__McCann Young bush
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 year
@SE250_ Glasto m8 wits that is that the new place for 5s 😎?
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 years
Unreal documentary this 👏🏻
@opengoalsport
Open Goal
3 years
🎥🍿| Road To The Hydro: The Open Goal Documentary Go Behind-The-Scenes with us as we tell the story of how a small podcast idea led to History at the Hydro 🏟 Watch On YouTube 📺 Buy Tickets To Hydro 16th Dec 🎫➡️
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 year
Pumped 🤣
@eScottishCup
eScottishCup
1 year
There was no stopping @HibernianFC who saw off @AirdrieoniansFC 4-0 in the eighth feature game of the day. 🙌 #eScottishfootballcup #esports #esportsscotland
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
@piersmorgan You hack dead folks phones ya clown
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 months
@ManpreetPTFC_V5 Always next year to do the unthinkable pal
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 years
Excited to see the uproar here 😂. Wonder what sturgeon will say
@HeraldSportScot
Herald Sport
2 years
David Goodwillie 're-joins' Clyde after Raith Rovers Deadline Day controversy
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 years
He doubled down on a 20 and the dealer turned an Ace. Everyone in the casino cheered.
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
@wullbert @ConorMoyles Tubes raps were the best man
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
@DaftLimmy They played a video of you doing the 9 10 song in Eden in ibiza last night 😂 check @IbizaClubNews instagram hahaha
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
@janeparkx No danger man 😂😂😂😂
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
5 years
@paulthetim You need to get down early for a good vote
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 years
Copy that fellow bear
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 years
That’s Stevie no longer a rat now WATP 🇬🇧
@RoryMann321
Rory Mann
3 years
SG🇬🇧
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
7 years
@siferry8 @reece_bulle Al punch a copper in the face if you get that sorted
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
6 years
When it's International weekend
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 months
@CG_1876 Partick Thistle boing boing
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
3 years
What a game
@iainmacintosh_
Iain Macintosh
3 years
TWENTY years ago this week, Championship Manager 01/02 was released. I've put more hours into the game than any other. But why? What made it so good? And why did it, far from stealing my life, actually help put it back on track? This is on @TheAthleticUK
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 years
Deserve to get beat for this pish
@grahamruthven
Graham Ruthven
2 years
Scotland fans applauding Ukrainian supporters as they celebrate reaching the World Cup playoff final 🇺🇦
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
8 years
Just saw a heavily pregnant bird chuffing away at a snout down the town centre. Stay classy Airdrie
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 year
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@Ziggys_Duck
Ziggy_Sobotka
1 year
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
1 year
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@diezel_21
Kristoffer Dalziel
2 years
Mick Kane
@joelgolby
JOEL GOLBY STAN ACCOUNT
2 years
for a long time i have been fascinated with a very particular concept, which is 'small town pathological liars'. if you grew up in a small town you knew one of these directly. i would love to know the lies you have been told
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