@ZeroSuitCamus that’s wide john mayer

@abcdentminded right now it feels like being in bed, marvelling at how the night is all yours. Old age will feel like waking up for work

@abcdentminded must be hard when your gf is taller than you in moon shoes

@marknorm Good one

@bartlebytaco Lovim

I saw hitler take a macbook selfie at the Apple store in 2013

@jurndan oh no way. nice!

Hate when a new pop star makes the rounds and I find out that she benefitted from her cousin appearing in a Kleenex ad in 2005

RFK Jr : We have, to , we have to ban Cream Joe Rogan {listening so intently he got a brain bleed} : Hmmm Clome. Ang why id . {chimp sound} Can you stob eating that burito RFK: It's a , slow loris

I miss when people would just send me pictures of my parents' house

@PatrickUnleashd love comedy

hey , didn't see you at the Ketchup Anonymous meeting yesterday. Noticed the omelet you posted this morning, red stuff on there.. do we need to call ?

@Integrity_Freak Taking a long hard look at myself when josef fritzl informs me that snuffing out his candle won’t make mine shine any brighter

Got the order of the pictures wrong

@RotPuppySage Thank you

What should I see in Newcastle

"mystery machine"? Girl that's a van 😂