Brittany Olson
@cynicalmilkmaid
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Following
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12,135
Wife of @farmersam5488 , cool mom, Jersey enjoyer. Words, cows, pictures, mental health, Dr Pepper, lotion, Lutheranism. Recovering people pleaser
up nort
Joined September 2019
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My dad fought with the bottle most of his adult life and has 4 DUIs and a hell of a lot more heartaches to show for it.
Last March, he up and decided he didn't need to drink anymore. I'm so proud that he's coming up on a year of sobriety.
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I'm probably the world's worst agvocate. I'm awkward, don't have a lot of followers, and I'm just not cool enough.
That being said, I'll agvocate for mental health and suicide awareness in the ag community until I'm blue in the face. 💛✌️
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Sent two fat Jersey heifers to the sale barn last week. The check had a comma in it. Your favorite milkmaid is now a cattle baroness.
#bigpimpin
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"Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life" is the biggest lie we sell ourselves.
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Success is a lot like getting pregnant. Everyone says congratulations but no one knows how many times you had to get railed.
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About 20 minutes south and west of me, some guy was pulling into a cornfield with his chopper and found an SUV with Minnesota plates full of dead bodies.
This is quite the secret episode of 'Breaking Bad' if I say so myself.
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Lotta guys in agriculture thinking they're John Wayne but they're more like Red Green
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In the spring of 2014, there was a guy with a mullet in my co-ops class that liked to argue with the very liberal professor (a lawyer from New Jersey). I remember thinking to myself, "Oh my God, just stop so we can get out of here."
Two years later...
I married him.
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My concern with posts like this from advocates with a large audience is that it gives farmers a free pass to act like dicks during busy seasons...and for their significant others and families to not just tolerate it, but accept it.
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After an emergency C-section Titus Knute Olson made his entrance at 9:32 PM on Mother's Day. 7 pounds, 11 ounces. After a few minutes of touch and go he's doing well but has been transferred to the NICU in Eau Claire for a couple of days to be on the safe side.
@farmersam5488
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If you air drum to a Def Leppard song with both arms, you're kind of a douche
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Teenagers are known for their gossiping abilities, but have you met
1) middle-aged farmers
2) a bunch of retirees on their daily devotional Zoom
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There's a horse milling about in the pasture behind the barn on this fine Easter Sunday morning.
We don't own a horse.
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Watching a cow realize she's late to the barn this morning, and promptly haul ass to her stall while Sam's polka playlist is playing on the stereo, is the most Wisconsin thing I'll see today.
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Telling a farmer with anxiety or depression to take a vacation or stop farming is a lot like telling a mom with postpartum anxiety or depression to just do more self-care and take time away from the baby.
Although breaks are great what they really truly need is support.
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As time goes on, I am more and more convinced that a sizable segment of farmers (typically male boomers) have a problem with strong and opinionated women.
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Want to turn a farmer into a puddle? Have her lose her favorite cow at Christmastime.
Want to turn her into a puddle again? Have that cow's only daughter become the first homebred excellent cow on the farm 2.5 years later.
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Here's to farm women who work full time.
You're expected to work like you don't have a farm, farm like you don't have an outside job, and raise a family/keep house like you have neither of the first two things. You're exhausted, and feel like no one gets you. 1/2
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Hot take: failure to plan has killed more family farms than bad policy.
You can legislate into and out of bad policy. You can't legislate succession planning.
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Launched my website an hour ago.
I've already made over $200 in sales.
I'm crying.
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I remember how traumatic Sunday afternoons were. Parking lot handoffs from my dad to my mom, running back and forth to relay messages from one end to the other because of a restraining order, are something no kid should experience.
All these years later, I still hate Sundays.
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Total transparency: the thought of processing and bottling our own milk terrifies me. However, thinking about an empty barn terrifies me even more.
The destruction of small dairy and diversified livestock farms is no less than an orchestrated hollowing of rural America.
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Inventor of the PTO: "I've got this thing that will completely revolutionize how people farm and operate machinery."
Audience: "Okay, but can you try making it dangerous as fuck though?"
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The best agvocatin' doesn't happen on social media or at conferences.
It happens when you invite people into your imperfect farms and let 4-year-old boys feed your cows by the fistful.
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People piss and moan about rap and hip hop lyrics being misogynistic and derogatory toward women.
...but have they ever listened to bro country, where 90% of the content is about doinking some nameless barefoot girl in cutoff shorts after getting her drunk?
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"Why aren't you going to your 10-year class reunion this weekend?"
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I have a dream that one day, if my son wants to be a farmer, he will not be judged by the length of his hair but by the content of his character
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If you're not their priority during busy season, you're never going to be their priority.
If you're the girlfriend in this situation, RUN. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
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In a persuasion class I gave a speech to convince my future in-laws to get more Jerseys. One gal snickered and made fun of me the whole time for being a hick.
Her speech was about why drinking pop is bad.
I still drink Dr Pepper AND I have more Jerseys now.
I win, bitch
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I've been out of school for 5 years now and I still feel like I need to go back every single fall.
Enjoy college, kids. It goes too damn fast.
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I'm either getting more introverted as I get older or I've just had enough of people's shit.
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I made a cashier visibly uncomfortable when I shouted "Nice!" after he told me my change was $0.69 today
So I got that going for me
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Once upon a time, almost 20 years ago, I was the oldest kid watching as my parents' marriage went straight to hell and my dad (praise God) got custody.
Now, almost 20 years later, I'm helping dads of daughters in the same situation see the world through their eyes.
#healing
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I wish my anxiety and panic attacks were eased by essential oils and CBD.
They aren't. I have to take medication for those conditions. There shouldn't be any shame in doing so.
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"Are you sure you don't want another beer before you go?"
Yes. My dad got 4 DUIs and that's not a family tradition I want to continue
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People are all "just you wait" when it comes to babies, and almost never in a good way. This is usually followed up by a picture of a blowout or spit up-crusted hair.
I'm here to tell you...just you wait until your baby laughs so hard he snorts.
It's sublime
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He cruised into his daily nap freshly bathed, smelling of Ivory soap and lavender shampoo, with raspberries and milk on his breath.
Meanwhile I was unprepared for how difficult it would be to wash barn lime out of the hair of a 2-year-old boy
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This guy is living in 3023
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If I don't know you and you send me a friend request on Facebook, and then I read "health and wellness coach" in your bio, I'm going to send your friend request to the boiler room of hell where it belongs.
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I can't do a whole lot right now but I can check hay. First crop is gonna be a beaut, Clark.
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Don't just get pissed off at Bill Gates, get pissed off at your neighbors selling their land to Bill Gates
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It pains me to see so many talented women in agriculture getting sucked into MLMs.
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I dropped my phone in the gutter tonight and just about left it there.
Facebook is all Karens. Instagram is just a giant clitoris-swinging contest (dick-swinging but female) between *blessed moms* and influencers. Snapchat is stupid.
Twitter is the only platform worth my time.
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Slowly but surely the barn is looking more Canadian by the day. Also, slowly but surely, I'm starting to come back to life after my breakdown two months ago.
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Guess who just deadass said
"You can't make a housewife out of a whore"
At Bible study?
🙋
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Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above, ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
Amen
Happiest of Thanksgivings from our family to yours.
@farmersam5488
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I'll never understand people that feel the need to tell a farmer selling directly to their community, or anyone offering a product or service, that their prices are too high.
You have options. This is America.
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The most maddening thing about a new phone is teaching it my vocabulary.
You mean to tell me that milkhouse, CIDR, silage, shitballs, milker, calf, silo, amazeballs, and fuck ton aren't words used by regular people?
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Two years ago we did the most yeehaw shit of our farming career.
This calf had her own calf just a few nights ago. Time marches on, indeed.
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I just want to raise a kiddo that won't need to spend his adulthood recovering from his childhood.
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I've milked alone a lot in my day, and there ain't much I can't handle by myself.
That being said, I've never been as close to crying because of cows being dicks like I am tonight.
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The scariest part about the majority of farm accidents resulting in death, especially with children, is that THEY'RE ENTIRELY PREVENTABLE.
This is just plain reckless.
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I have a joke about oxytocin but it's kind of a letdown.
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IH deserved to go bankrupt after rolling out the 1086 but at least it takes a pretty picture 🤷
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Some GOP legislators and farm groups: "Let's take a bunch of marginal land that's probably in CRP for a reason and crop the shit out of it!"
Vilsack: "Lol no"
Most sense the USDA has made in over a decade
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PSA for everyone, especially those living with a mental illness: if you're debating whether to take a shower or not, just take the shower. You'll feel better.
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2022 average milk price for our farm: $23.26/cwt
2023 average milk price for our farm: $18.69/cwt
That'll leave a mark
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When a farmer is ill, injured, or deceased we're there in droves with hot dishes, hugs, and machinery to get the job done.
Why are we so hesitant to help when the wounds are unseen?
#AgMentalHealthWeek
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Me, February 2020: OMG the UPS guy is here and I'm not wearing a bra because winter
Me, December 2020: enjoy the view, dude
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Calvalanche is over. I'm wiped out. Mastitis everywhere. Plate count spiked. I'm dealing with unaddressed burnout that started last year from being spread too thin.
I could use some prayers for relief and restoration. I know I can overcome these obstacles. I'm just tired, man
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but never ever send someone an invoice for more than you quoted if you want to keep their business and trust. Young farmer in our neck of the woods got a bill for a load of protein nearly $50/ton more than he was quoted (also day of delivery)
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A few months ago I learned that the dad of an ex-boyfriend (and lifelong farmer) died by suicide. Every suicide I learn of weighs heavily on me but this one was a gut punch.
Three students at my alma mater have died by suicide in the last month.
Please know that you matter.
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The older I get, the less I care about the color of farm machinery that my friends operate
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I got the ball rolling to start seeing a therapist for the first time since 2003 this morning, and let me tell ya - I have never felt more defeated.
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Forget Thelma and Louise, this world needs more friendships like Bandit and Snowman
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I heard the whoosh of a cow's water breaking as I fed bottle babes this evening and was again reminded of why God picked a barn for His son to enter the world in.
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I shot this couple's wedding last fall. Adam, born with spina bifida and had already lost a leg, became ill some months later and had to lose the other leg. Cassi stepped up to run the farm in his place all while maintaining off farm employment.
Still farming.
No excuses. 💪
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Modern country radio lacks depth. It also lacks pain. In order to heal from pain you have to allow yourself to feel it.
I want the wail of a steel guitar to burn its way into my soul, and to bathe in the salty tears that sting as they seep into the cracks of a broken heart.
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Toxic positivity is just that: toxic.
Don't be the person that invalidates other people's pain by pointing out that someone else has it worse.
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27% of farm fatalities in Wisconsin in 2017-2018 were suicides. Those years weren't particularly wet or dry.
Everyone has different thresholds for stress, anxiety, and depression. We don't get to tell them what they've been through that caused their suffering.
@cowbroker
Multi year drought is way worse on mental. I guess I havnt seen farmers commit suicide over a flood.
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Back in December I donated to
@JennyLynnBrdar
's GoFundMe and won a t-shirt from
@noshitshow1
. Anyway, really glad I upsized because look what
@farmersam5488
did.
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I hate seeing 'To Kill A Mockingbird' being banned from classroom reading because it makes people uncomfortable.
That's the point, Karen.
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Whether it's farm size, tractor size, or formula fed vs. breastfed, people who feel the need to turn every little damn thing into a dick measuring contest are almost always the ones who don't have a dick to measure
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Theologically sound hymns > praise music
I said what I said
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Did you know that at 18 weeks an unborn baby is actually able to hear limited amounts of noises? This will only improve as time goes on.
All the more reason to make sure we don't expose him to shitty bro country
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After 11 months of being on a waiting list, a spot finally opened up with a therapist in the same county as me. I'd be remiss not to take it.
After all, I'm not just doing it for me anymore.
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My uncle died from a heroin overdose on Saturday.
His life being cut short in such a manner serves two sobering reminders:
1) the importance of breaking generational cycles, and how Titus will never know such trauma
2) good mental health starts at home with our families
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There's a little girl in Minnesota who just lost her dad. We are campaigning to have a replica of
@TimStender2
barn built for her (approx $1k). Anything over that will be used to purchase an I bond for her financial future.
Donations can be sent via Venmo
@Brittany
-Olson-19
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Things making me chuckle on a Sunday morning...
When I was 12 we went bowling. I put my ball in the gutter and my sister told I sucked. I told her she swallowed. I did not understand such a statement other than being a sick burn.
I'll never forget the look my dad gave me lol
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When slung over a shoulder, a 30-pound sleeping toddler is multitudes heavier than a 50-pound bag of feed.
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