Jason, First of His Name
@crazypastor
Followers
14,840
Following
1,750
Media
5,073
Statuses
107,566
fragile Christian dudebros, beware! "most ridiculous person I've come across on this platform"
Winston-Salem, NC
Joined November 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Everyone’s a biblical literalist until Jesus says, with no irony, that sex workers are more accurate an image of the kingdom of God than obscenely rich people will ever be.
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Quarantining is one thing.
Quarantining alone is something else entirely.
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“You’ll understand and become conservative when you grow up, my boy.”
— my father when I was younger
welllll it turns out 2019 jason is way more radical than 2012 jason, weird
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Everyone’s a biblical literalist until Jesus says you can’t serve both God and money.
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“Stop making the Bible fit your political agenda,” say people who have completely invented a white, Republican Jesus who cuts taxes on the wealthy and hates universal healthcare.
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If a cellphone goes off during a worship service, I will bet you a years’ salary that it ain’t a millennial who owns it, that’s all i’m saying.
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Everyone’s a biblical literalist until Paul says there is no gender binary in Christ.
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Remember: these Catholic racists in DC are just “kids,” but Tamir Rice and Mike Brown were full-grown men.
Watch whiteness work.
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Everyone’s a biblical literalist until they realize that the Bible recognizes abortion and doesn’t condemn it (Ex. 21:22-25) and doesn’t consider a fetus as having a right to life (Num. 5:11-31).
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100% Jesus of Nazareth would tear down a statue of himself if he ever saw one.
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“Do you believe women should be pastors?”
It doesn’t matter what i believe, little buddy — the risen Jesus first appeared to women (and *only* women) and said “go and tell,” which is literally the definition of ‘apostle’ so.
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I just took out a new line of credit to pay for dental work.
I have dental insurance.
This country is profoundly sick.
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hi not everyone is a christian, so can we can stop with the BC/AD time and go with BCE/CE? it’s not hard
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Unfriendly reminder that Jesus of Nazareth never demanded anyone “accept” him into their hearts as their “personal Lord and Savior.”
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*talking to another christian at coffee hour*
my brain:
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
me: white depictions of Jesus are white supremacy with a theological blanket
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@RealJamesWoods
I’m Christian and I’m not under attack — stop speaking for me.
And also shut the fuck up.
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Too many Christians aren’t ‘bible-believers’ as much as they are bible-weaponizers, often targeting the kind of marginalized people with whom Jesus spent 98% of his time.
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Everyone in that room who said nothing when the current president called human beings “animals” are also part of the problem, ps.
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Do you renounce white supremacy and all its evil forces?
I renounce them.
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good morning to everyone especially this gif
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Facts.
In the NFL, you can beat your wife, rape women, abuse drugs and be a general nuisance but God forbid you speak out about police brutality.
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Thank God none of those white men were armed with pellet guns in a park. They would have been taken down immediately.
#OregonUnderAttack
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shoutout to us introverts who are so outgoing ppl think we’re extroverts and we have to tell them “yo that shit exhausts tf out of me”
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I’m done with this “bible-believing” condescension that accompanies (largely) evangelical critiques of progressive Christianity.
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This pandemic has made real the fact that you can do small things to benefit your neighbor.
And whole swaths of Christians have looked at that and said, “Nah I’m good.”
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Everyone’s a biblical literalist until Jesus says it’s damn near impossible for someone with wealth to enter God’s kin-dom.
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A thread on the Rapture in the Bible:
It’s not there. At all.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
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Y’all making fun of me for saying “y’all,” but it’s still the best gender-neutral 2nd-person plural in the English language.
and y’all are still out here calling a group of women “you guys” so 🤷🏻♂️
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We live in a country that will immediately defend the powerful and question the powerless. Every time.
#TerenceCrutcher
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“I’m a pastor”
- loaded
- so much baggage
- immediate cessation of any interesting future conversation, probably
“I am well-versed in radical, ancient apocalyptic texts"
- intriguing
- mysterious
- you could, like, have the power to summon angels and demons, who knows
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Evangelical Christian piety says using the word “fuck” is profane, but condemning people you don’t know to a hellish afterlife because they don’t interpret the Bible like you do isn’t.
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Here’s your periodic reminder that when it comes to christian worship, ‘contemporary’ usually means “contemporary to white ppl in the 1970s” and ‘traditional’ means “how white ppl worshiped in the 1950s.”
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Unfriendly reminder that Christians are never called to “stay out of politics” or “just support the president." Our story flows deeply within traditions of hospitality, human dignity, and justice for the oppressed.
Getting political is part of what it means to follow Jesus. 🤷🏻♂️
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Jesus was a brown-skinned Palestinian Jew who proclaimed good news TO THE POOR, an end to prisons, basically universal healthcare, and the year of radical economic justice.
Please quote this tweet with a thing that everyone in your field knows and nobody in your industry talks about because it would lead to general chaos.
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Fundamentalist/conservative Christian worldview:
Leviticus on sexual "purity": LITERAL
I Timothy on women: LITERAL
Revelation on the lake of fire: LITERAL
Jesus on loving our neighbor, enemies, the last will be first, selling all we have: WHOA, LET’S LOOK AT CONTEXT, Y’ALL
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Just imagine if it was Tim Tebow — not
@Kaepernick7
— who had knelt during the Anthem to protest abortion.
The NFL — and right-wingers everywhere — would fall over themselves to praise him.
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"Stop bringing race into it," says the country that enthusiastically participated in race-based chattel slavery for centuries.
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Millennials are in our 30s. We're running for public office, raising families, mentoring youth, and changing the world.
Your condescending hot takes on our generation are getting old AF.
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It was Robin Williams killing himself that did it, I think.
That’s when I was like, “fuck, if I don’t openly talk about this it might kill me.”
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This is going to be an apocalypse in the truest sense of the Greek word: it literally translates to “unveiling” or “unmasking.”
An apocalypse tears back the curtain and shows what’s really happening.
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Whatever the Catholic Church and evangelicals across the world do or don’t do, know this:
It’s not up to them to “allow” women to be priests.
Women are called by God. Full stop.
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@robertjeffress
Your biblical illiteracy and theological fellatio in service to the current U.S. regime would be funny if it wasn’t so dangerous.
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*stares in four Gospels retelling how our lord and savior appeared first to WOMEN AND ONLY WOMEN*
Show me a church that allows women to pastor and I’ll show you a church that in a very short time leaves the gospel.
Exhibit A: UMC
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I trust in the resurrection because my shattered heart can do no other.
I give myself to the Jesus movement because I, alone, can do nothing.
A lot of us are mourning Rachel Held Evans today. What a gift she was, in this church and in this world.
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So many white people live in perpetual fear of nonexistent “tyranny” from a government that has only ever structurally benefited them.
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I didn’t know
@rachelheldevans
face-to-face, but I have been deeply affected by her online presence — and there are so many whom I love...who loved her.
37. The world has been robbed of so many more years to experience her wit, wisdom, and grace. Ugh.
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Enough of this "PC" garbage. Let's call a thing what it is:
Our President's
#Inauguration
speech was co-written by a white supremacist.
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No one:
Not a soul:
Me: NONDENOMINATIONAL IS A DENOMINATION
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I suffer from mental illness and have refrained from buying weapons intended for war and murdering people in cold blood. Weird, right?
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Who could have imagined it would get this bad in 2016?
Black women. The answer is black women.
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Somewhat friendly reminder that Jesus never asked anyone to “accept me into your heart as your personal lord and savior.” He never used language like that (not even in Gospels that didn’t make it into the Bible).
It legit doesn’t sound like him at all. 🤷🏻♂️
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We have got to recognize (and celebrate!) other life goals besides marriage/pregnancy.
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Mary Magdalene was the first apostle. No asterisks.
Jesus *sent her* to go and tell of his resurrection (the literal meaning of the word ‘apostle’).
Many men didn’t believe her, but that didn’t change the fact that Jesus called her.
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I love how concerned Christians talk to me about my language
#onhere
as though I guest preach in places by walking up to the pulpit and saying, “WHAT’S UP MOTHERFUCKERS.”
Like. I have social skills and shit. I know my audience.
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┳┻|
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┻┳| •.•) psst. Jesus wasn’t
┳┻|⊂ﾉ white and he didn't
┻┳ speak English
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dating in my 20s: omg there is THE ONE™ there for me, a soulmate, my everything, and I must find her 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
dating in my 30s: ummmmm just pls don’t be conservative
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friendly reminder that “non-denominational” isn’t a thing
it’s often just a baptist church that hides their anti-gay beliefs a bit better 🤷🏻♂️
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Jesus never once, in all the Gospels, asks (or demands, for that matter) anyone to "accept him" as their personal Lord and Savior.
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And the crowd shifts from shouts of “Crucify!” to whipping him, to staring in horror. Seamless. Theologically brilliant.
#JesusChristSuperstarLive
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Guy in train station wants to argue that
#BLM
is anti-police & should include abortion & says, "Slavery was bad, but.."
NOT TODAY, SATAN.
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Obsessing about having a “personal Lord and Savior” feels extraordinarily selfish and pretty on-brand for a U.S. evangelical Christianity that prizes individualism.
Now, a **communal** Savior? A systemic Messiah? Tell me more.
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“welcome to church”
- tired
- not technically accurate
- blahhhhh
“get ready, motherfucker”
- nicely preparatory
- sounds much more like john the baptist
- will elicit interesting responses instead of the normal “thanks"
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Everyone’s a biblical literalist until Paul says that, in Christ, there is no gender binary (Galatians 3:28).
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Daily reminder that Christians worship a brown-skinned, unemployed, Aramaic-speaking Palestinian Jew who didn’t have citizenship papers and lived under occupation.
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@charliekirk11
No, they weren’t legal citizens. They were living under occupation.
Have...have you spent any time in biblical or theological study?
You know so little, yet display this ignorance so often.
Sit down.
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My preferred pastoral care stance:
Them: <tell me what’s going on>
Me: <listens>
Me: Some combination of [A] “That shit thoroughly sucks,” [B] “You are loved and not alone,” and/or [C] “Fuck that noise."
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I keep hearing that the United States is a Christian nation.
I call bullshit on several fronts.
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#DearWhitePeople
:
We need to stop telling PoC that “everything is going to be okay” and to “not be angry.” This is privileged bullshit.
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I love that Stevie Wonder is critiquing and correcting that Jasper Williams sermon.
#ArethaHomegoing
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It’s stunning to me how all four canonical Gospel accounts are clear that Mary Magdalene was the literal first apostle, the one sent by Jesus to proclaim the good news, and boys the world over still think God only calls dudes with penises
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Unfriendly reminder that every time you see “race riot” in history books it means “white mob violence.”
Every single time.
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Me: "Yes, I absolutely call my female colleagues ‘Pastor’ and ‘Deacon’ and ‘Bishop' every chance I get. It’s so *fucking* important to name the authority of women in leadership in Christian circles — that’s been diminished too often.”
Them: “Sir, this is a Wendy’s."
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Everyone’s a biblical literalist until Jesus literally says that if you fuck with children (specifically children on the margins) then you are damned to a watery grave (Mark 9:42; Matthew 18:6).*
*if it’s in more than one Gospel you know it’s fucking important
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I think the most orthodox Christian I get is when I say “descended into hell” in the Apostles’ Creed instead of “to the dead.”
I’ve experienced a hell. And it gives me enormous comfort and makes me feel less alone when I think of how Jesus went to hell and fucking destroyed it.
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The more time I spend in the bible, the more radically liberal I become.
🤷🏻♂️
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Hey, you.
Yes, you.
You’re made from the stuff of stars. You are holy and thoroughly beloved. Please don’t forget it.
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@DevinSenaUI
It’s amazing to me what passes for “incredibly dangerous” on the Right, when kids are in cages and white supremacists are shooting up every conceivable place of worship.
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Honestly: for real talk:
I think we (collective we, pastors in the U.S.) get ready to do a decent live-stream of our worship and actively encourage people not to come.
Maybe. I could be being too intense rn.
Thoughts?
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Hey there, beloved, scrolling by.
Wanted you to know that you’re astonishing, just as you are. You’re not alone. You are loved. You are worthy.
Ok, that’s it. Carry on. ✊🏻
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@ZubyMusic
@ANTHONYBLOGAN
@LegendaryEnergy
People of color also participate in whiteness and white supremacy, it’s actually not rocket science.
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God stands in solidarity with those who are oppressed. God doesn’t make excuses to condemn them. God rises up with them.
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One of the weirdest charges leveled at me by evangelical/fundamentalist Christians is that I ‘need to read the Bible’ as though I haven’t done that for decades and have a master’s degree in it.
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Your sexual orientation and gender identity don’t exclude you from God’s empire or God’s people. At all.
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I am convicted that Jesus literally rose from the dead. The Empire tried to kill him and they couldn’t do it.
That badass literally went to hell for three days, destroyed death, then walked out of that tomb, bloody and bruised, and changed the world.
What’s a theological conviction you hold with great vigor that would seem most “off brand”/surprising to people who know you?
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Cis-people, naming your pronouns — even if you think it’s obvious — is a way to normalize the action and stand in solidarity with trans and genderfluid/gender-badass people.
Bonus: you get to scare the shit out of fragile dudebros. 🤘🏻
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Bisexual people are made in the image of God and are wildly loved and divinely adorned **because** they’re bi, not in spite of it. I see y’all. 👋🏻✊🏻🌈
#BiVisibilityDay
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If you can watch the video of the murder of
#TerenceCrutcher
and somehow defend the police, look deep into your soul. Now.
#whitefolkwork
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Pastors/leaders who change their voice when they lead worship –– who have a distinctive, ‘holy’ voice –– really make me uncomfortable.
Like. Just, talk.
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the white person urge to offer a “comment rather than a question” after the invitation to ask questions
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I believe strongly that a mockumentary on either a Vacation Bible School or a church Christmas pageant needs to be made.
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White men continue to be main source of domestic terrorism in this country.
#PortlandStabbing
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I have never understood the white-person obsession with camping — i love being in nature, but I love being in a bed in the 21st-century even more. 🤷🏻♂️
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