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Pinned Tweet
you know, losing your 2nd Acc**nt in 2 years really does something to you. im gonna do it right this time. im gonna spread positivity. im gonna treat others how i want to be treated. im gonna drive a car into the side of a building after the next celtics loss
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hm. weird. nothing on the free food rack tonight. usually there’s a few things to choose from and you don’t need to pay. gonna have to complain to the manager.
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every scout on earth was like “here’s this 18 year old euro kid who’s basically the white james harden. he has generational passing and scoring ability and was the mvp of an entire continent at 16” and PHX/SAC were like. dope. but did he do it against stony brook university?
Funniest thing about Luka pre draft takes is that one YouTube deep dive and it was obvious he was generational
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I just realized
jokic, giannis, and tatum have won a title
luka, book, and bam have been to a finals
trae young, hali, ant have been to a conference finals
and joel embiid hasn’t even won a second round. like damn you’re nice but ur peers are lapping you fatass
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david fincher needs 6-10 weeks of unmitigated access to this home immediately
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hitching your wagon to a 25 year old rookie and then rebranding the entire account the second he hits a slump is the most heat coded thing of all time. perfect execution truly
REBRANDING ANNOUNCEMENT :
I’m going from Jaime Jaquez Jr Muse to a Miami Heat page called Big Heat Energy
I will still be posting about Jaime a good amount since he will be a core part of our team for a long time
Appreciate all you guys and can’t wait to grow more with
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nba journalists in 2020 when luka started putting up harden usage
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andre roberson was the last 0 and D player lmfao 😭
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erik spoelstra watched 763 kristaps post up possessions and analyzed every frame to prepare for this game and joe mazzula was logging the town on his letterboxd diary for the 27th time and writing “still holds up. solid flick” in the review section. we’re doomed
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mikal bridges got traded to brooklyn and they played at a 26 win pace with dead last offense with him as the lead shot creator and NBA twitter was like YOOOO 25 PPG LETS GOOOO
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Joel Embiid gotta be the only basketball player in history to get the “superstar who can win you a title” treatment without ever winning 2 playoff series in a row. for god sakes man Trae Young went to the conference finals on his watch
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VAN GUNDY: and so what, he gave his friend a gun? big deal! i used to tell hedo, if dwight takes more than 2 dribbles in the paint, i’ll shoot him myself!
JACKSON: that’s right stan— one in the hand is worth 2 in the bush
BREEN: tatum off the back iron, no good
Stan Van Gundy was the only voter to not vote Chet Holmgren 2nd in ROY, instead he gave it to Brandon Miller.
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nba fans are so spoiled, like yeah jalen green and rj barrett are bad but we used to get a legitimately unplayable dude in the top 3 every draft. save for wiseman you just don’t see that anymore
the hasheem thabeets, derrick williams, anthony bennets, adam morrisons etc
The NBA doesn't have real draft busts no more. I'm talking niggas who are real ass
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why tf are my parents always talking about family guy man
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leaving the love of my life at the altar and abandoning our child because she has a negative wingspan and has issues staying out of foul trouble
“Being historically great on offense is fun but even dating a pretty girl gets boring after awhile if she can’t guard anybody.”
Rick Carlisle with one of the greatest quotes of all-time.
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brandon ingram gonna be 33 years old on lists with cooper flagg, wemby, and the thompson twins talking bout “5 young stars set to make a leap next year” ctfu
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[heaven]
Pop: "Wow it's cold I should get my DIOR DIOR jacket"
Juice: "Nah bro! All girls are the same!"
*Juice WRLD airballs and hits a girl and man*
Juice: "Pass the ball bro!"
*Kobe/Gigi turn around*
Kissinger: “Room for one more?”
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gotta feel good af to be a hater of someone for 10 years then give them 15 as a rookie while they go scoreless to end their season and possibly even their career there. this is every single haters dream. we have all dreamt of our keon ellis moment
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Little Chris Paul folks. always whining, isn’t he nasty? he came to me and this is true folks, he said “mr trump im the point god!” i said no you’re not you’re the point fraud. [crowd cheers] shut down by Derrick White can you believe it! tremendous ball player, he really is
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one of the stupidest things i’ve ever heard why doesn’t anyone just like basketball
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@Richard57941301
never as a man his salary
a woman her weight
or a AAA gaming studio for more than 5 explorable planets in a galaxy of over 20 billion
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ant heard ALL the slander and decided to come out shooting 20% from the field in response he really might be the next kobe
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Rest in Peace John Stockton, you will be missed
BREAKING: The ABC reports a Utah man, who made threatening online posts against President Biden, was killed during a raid.
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i tried to tell y’all
Derrick White is the first player in NBA history to start the playoffs averaging:
• 20+ PPG
• 70% 2PT
• 40% 3PT
• 90% FT
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Derrick White is like if Chris Paul wasnt a fucking asshole and his teammates liked him and was clutch and is bald on purpose
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nah tbh idc how corny this is, i’m pulling cards all next year. if you were over the age of 12 and not suffering through the phil pressey/kris humprhies era, sit this one out. this one for the war vets
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the 2017 warriors had the 2nd/3rd best player in the league, the dpoy and another all star and faced the trailblazers, the utah jazz, and a kawhi-less spurs. they went 12-0 without breaking a sweat. what are we doing
Have the Celtics had the easiest path to the Finals ever?
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@queersocialism
love comparing a lifetime of being occupied and bombed and having my family be political enemies of the state to seeing a graph on television
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heat fan whining about a role player vastly outperforming their average production might be the actual funniest joke of all time, gmafb man lol
Derrick White is easily my least favorite Celtic to get lit up by bc I know he is absolutely not like that
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mikal bridges as a 3rd option 3 and D/athletic finisher is rizz
mikal bridges as a 1st option shot creator is sexual harassment
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idk how you watch luka tonight vs the celtics and don’t come away with the conclusion that he’s at worst the 2nd best player in the league. obviously we’re kicking the mavs ass but what he’s able to do against the best team in the league should be celebrated not mocked
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if boston doesn’t win the title while not having to face giannis, embiid, lebron, kd, curry, kawhi, jimmy and possibly jokic or luka then jayson tatum should lose custody of deuce
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do you want to be the most efficient 3 level jump shooter in basketball history or attempt one real shot attempt for every 6 free throws
“He has to figure out where he wants to play, whether he wants to be a guard or a big or whatever. It’s not necessarily whether he wants to be a guard or a big; it’s what he wants to become. Do you want to become KD, or do you want to become me?”
- Joel Embiid on Victor
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people gon laugh but a stretch 5 who at his peak was taking 4 3s a game on 38% and a 6’9 swiss army knife 1-5 defensive stopper who had point forward potential would be unbelievable today. not to mention the fact they were both all stars even being used incorrectly
Mehmet Okur & Andrei Kirilenko would’ve been killer in 2024
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who better to write an article eulogizing a man’s legacy than the dude who found out who he was yesterday lol
Have you ever heard the name J Dilla? I hadn't until yesterday. But man, has he had such a huge impact on the city of Detroit and hip hop as a whole.
For
@ForbesSports
, I wrote about his legacy, 313 Day, and how the Pistons honored him and the city:
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stoners are so gay
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from 2008-2012 the best second pick was my cousin evan turner. it was a dark time for scouting
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the funniest thing about this is you know he planted the seeds for divorce when he was still strong-arming his way to Miami and now it’s too late. Dame thought he was gonna be laid up with instagram baddies and ended up throwing away his family over hoes who eat cheese curds in
Former Portland Trail Blazers star point guard Damian Lillard has filed for divorce from his wife, Kay’La, just days after he was traded to the Milwaukee Bucks.
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@matfacio
@Richard57941301
i have no idea what game this i don’t play video games im 26 with a wife and a drinking problem i just wanted to make a joke under my friends tweet
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within like, 4 months the nets traded kyrie for this junk, kd for mikal bridges, and then turned down 4 first rounders for mikal so they could build around like…cam thomas lmfao. idk what kinda operation they got going on over there in brooklyn but money laundering is involved
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stat inflation so nasty cuz my first thought seeing this was “bro put up rookie wemby numbers” and i’ve watched him play 100+ games and have him top 10 ever lol the next generation of hoops fans are gonna have zero concept of who was good before 2020
Hakeem Olajuwon Career Averages:
— 21.8 PPG
— 11.1 RPG
— 2.5 APG
— 1.7 SPG
— 3.1 BPG
— 51% FG
Only player in history to average these numbers
Top __ Player of All Time?
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for every person who quotes/comments on this “correcting” me that he’s actually 22 i am going to add another year to his age he’s now 34
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funny how this has become the narrative because if you checked celtics twitter the day of the smart/porzingis trade you’d have thought they traded dwyane wade for jj hickson
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i’m not a ringzzzz guy but enough is enough. a truly great player can get you to the third round ONCE with a meh roster. he doesn’t need to be bill russell but jesus christ man 15pts on 18 shots w/ 4 TOVs in a game 7?? as the MVP? get real
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awesome game and glad to see him thriving in our system but hauser muse american flag really dude like genuinely really dude
Sam Hauser Tonight
22 Minutes
30 Points
1 Assist
6 Rebounds
1 Steal
18 +\-
76.9 FG%
10/13 FG/3FG
115.4 TS%
Best Game of his Career
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tim duncan > kobe bryant should be common knowledge by know and it’s a shame i even have to type these words
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@ziyanm_
the 10 per game he was taking for the last 8 years before this were all happenstance
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@alpacinogrunt
@aydenfranco_
would you look at that, it’s their record if his brothers got more than 30 seconds of combined playing time. i love when the TL syncs up
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college basketball and the tournament specifically is fun bc of the unpredictability and cinderella runs but the people that actually try and convince you it’s a good product or on par with the nba are so obnoxious. it’s awful basketball but a lot of fun. leave it at that
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Thanasis’ leads NBA with a 39% turnover % (39%)
That’s 6% higher than 2nd place.
Nearly 2 out of 5 Thanasis plays ends in a turnover 😳
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nah man bev really dropped his first team all wigger i’m crying 😭😭😭
Pat Bev’s Least White All-White Starting 5:
Tyler Herro
Donte DiVincenzo
Alex Caruso
Garrison Mathews
Chet Holmgren
(Via
@PatBevPod
)
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sorry, incel. in real life the unemployed benzos addict with no car gets the girl
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is minnesota/denver the best second round series ever? it’s gotta be up there if not. back and forth, two megastars trading signature performances, flawless offense vs stifling defense. this feels like the actual finals. haven’t felt this way about a 2nd rd series in a long time
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mikal was my DPOY over smart in 2022 and i’m a celtics fan stop yelling at me
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the last thing i’ll say about rap beefs today is its so funny to me how much they’ve changed over the years. kendrick and drake are dropping like, serious accusations about eachothers moral character and jay z and nas were just like yo you’re fucking gay
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this is the nba finals matchup the nba needed we done with the steph/bron/kd era and we’re damn for sure done with the miami heat. give us the next generation
Luka and Tatum this playoffs:
28.0 PPG 26.0 PPG
9.4 RPG 10.2 RPG
9.3 APG 5.8 APG
54.5 TS% 57.1 TS%
43/31/81% 44/29/84%
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“wrong van gundy RETARD!!” yea no shit i just had a golden opportunity to bring back one of my favorite formats and had to take it, i’m well aware jeff is on the broadcast but i have posts to get off
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beer alcoholism isn’t even real. drinking 40 beers at a time is fine, normal even. that’s just Chillin and having a Good time. it’s beach behavior. sunday football
true alcoholism is drinking vanilla extract bc your wife takes your ID away to make you detox
Beer alcoholics are in a lower caste than liquor alcoholics
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@GoodMusic98
seems like a lot of issues that didn’t affect hmm every single real superstar in history every single year
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i’ve been following the nba for 20+ years now and have never once seen them say or do anything for palestine lol
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the celtics are such a wagon. they shot like 10% from 3, tatum played like an asshole, and luka had a masterclass 30pt triple double. don’t matter, 2-0. this team is gonna be so cracked in 2k30 as a classic team
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sorry but honestly tough shit heat fans danced on tatums grave when he hurt his foot in g7 last year + now we don’t have to hear about “playoff jimmy” fan fiction for the next 2 months so i’ll consider this a net good
The expectation is Miami's Jimmy Butler will be out multiple weeks, sources said. Butler remarkably played the final three quarters vs. 76ers last night with what is now feared to be an MCL injury.
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used to think the kobe/ant comps were ridiculous but lately idk this actually feels pretty accurate he just chucking and living off the brand out there
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i take back EVERYTHING i have said about jaylen brown since covid.
i don’t care if you call him better than tatum. i don’t care about the contract. i don’t care about the all nba. i don’t care about the ecf mvp
30-8-7. fouled out luka. 3-0
he brought home banner 18 🥹
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LMFAOOOO NO WAY MAN
Jayson Tatum shoots like KD, drives like Bron, rebounds like KG, guards like PG and has the passing shit down like Nash. He is better than Larry Bird. The game’s evolved, current purity > past nostalgia.
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around 2002 when i realized i was retarded
when the fuck did you all get so comfortable using the r slur
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unfortunately
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every year on the anniversary of my brothers death i order fried rice and crab rangoons bc that was what i was eating at the hospital when he died. now, i could see that being a bad memory for some, but unfortunately that shit slaps so i’m still gonna eat this garbage
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