nick
@clownfacebitch
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hot slut character actress | Pioneers and Trailblazers Podcast: EVERY MON! (link in bio)
brooklyn, ny
Joined April 2012
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if u think about it, comedy is just the yassification of tragedy
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used to fuck a guy who lived across the street from this place. the last time i saw him, he went “so, when’s this going to end?” i asked what he meant and he goes “this—the performance you’re doing. like when are you going to be normal?”
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her hair is both blonde and brunette to represent how liam would cheat on her during the day and night
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accepting my award after a woman called me the rudest customer service person she’s ever encountered
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this is also what happens to the human body when ur in a one sided situationship
Simulation shows what happens to human body in a submersible implosion
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@boopyape
ok well now it’s like 0-1x a week but back during the harlot days of my youth….like 3-4x?
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@eviathanoff
actually her two eyes represent how she was able to see liam’s two faces (arm candy/nasty cheater)
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a man invited me over to his apartment and then 10 min in sent me home in an uber because he wasn’t into it
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i slept in his twin xl……
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she is my princess diana
Jennifer Lawrence is the featured guest on this week’s episode of Hot Ones 🌶️
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manager i wanna fuck just pulled me aside and asked for my insta
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i sucked a guy off while he watched emily in paris for the second time
Whats the worst thing a guy ever put on tv before yall fucked
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he’s tired of the voice too
Austin Butler chats with Martin McDonagh at the Critics' Choice Awards
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you will NEVER be nicole kidman!!!
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woman reported me to manager for being the rudest customer service worker she’s ever encountered
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this is what it’s like to be 24
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wait, if i’m running the train….then who’s running the train on me?
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joe biden needs to do something about this adderall shortage STAT! i cannot sit thru another 10 min phone call at work with a bitch off their meds!!!
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he sees the grim reaper in the corner 😭
Mitch McConnell freezes again while talking to reporters in in Covington, Kentucky.
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about to go have sex with struggling comedian in his 40s who doesn’t own a bed frame 🫶🏻
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i actually never had to come out, my grandfather pulled my mom aside on his death bed and basically was like “u know he’s a lil faggy right?” and she was like “yeah” and he was like “ok, cool” and that was that. i was 6
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overlslept, two hours late to work, found out the man i made plans with tonight is married, no coffee in me, and i’m out of weed….diva DOWNNN
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just sucked his dick til he nut :/
man on sniffies just told me his dream is to quit his job to make “content” and when i asked what he creates he said “long form or short”
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why was she able to bounce back from a pixie cut but katy perry couldn’t 😭
10 years ago today, Jennifer Lawrence debuted her pixie haircut to kick off the ‘CATCHING FIRE’ press tour.
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just got railed within an inch of my life!
wait, if i’m running the train….then who’s running the train on me?
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me at work when the gummy hits
Mitch McConnell escorted away from cameras after freezing mid-news conference.
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IF YOU LOOK LIKE THIS DM ME NOWWWWW
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i love sleeping with older men bc they’ll say things like “if i saw you on the train i’d think you were straight” meanwhile i look like the reincarnation of shirley temple
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man on sniffies just told me his dream is to quit his job to make “content” and when i asked what he creates he said “long form or short”
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thinking about a man fondly—time to remove my brain from my skull, lather my hands with some cerave foaming cleanser, and wash it in a bowl
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seeing others enjoy the pleasures of life wondering when it’ll be my turn
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they are not a match 💔
eavesdropping on first date between two twinks at the coffee shop
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can’t even hunt for a sugar daddy without getting recognized fame is a prison
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so there’s this tower in paris i would like to recreate with them….
Andrew Garfield and his stylist Warren Alfie Baker for The Hollywood Reporter
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my freshman year roommate would play this song on a loop, sans headphones — the ONE time i asked if he could turn it off he went, “but the message is really important…” 😭
logic literally saved lives with this song
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a category 7 motherquake is about to hit new york city im so serious
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man responded to erotic nude video i sent of myself with, “cute!”
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man next to me on the train just took a hit of poppers, immediately pulled out a copy of ‘my year of rest and relaxation’ with one hand and started reading the next chapter with a beer in the other
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ex (who i never dated) showing up to my place of work on a date with a woman…
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grandmother just asked if i have any “female prospects lined up”
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second book from miss girl that i’ve read and didn’t like time to pack it up!
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watching porn rn and one of them goes “i love the way it sounds daddy” to which the other replies, “yeah? sounds like mac n cheese”
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she saw the rotten tomatoes score and needed to do something QUICK!
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i have another hole he can fall in…
Nick Jonas falls into a hole in the stage during Jonas Brothers concert in Boston.
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woman sitting at the table next to me complaining that making $7000 a month isn’t enough…..
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i’ve dealt with this woman on numerous occasions at work and she has the NASTIEST spirit of anyone i’ve ever met
This West Village home is insane
Anyone who’s lived in Manhattan knows just how insane it is to own a 600 ESF studio or classic 6
Much less this home
The carriage house and outdoor space is my favorite
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sister asked me to be an usher at her wedding— not a groomsman, lower than ringer bearer or flower girl. just the person who greets people and guides them to their seats…oh this just nasty
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it’s really important to catch up with a fellow hater over lunch because it’s something that can truly be so healing
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y’all don’t like sex scenes in movies bc no one wants to fuck you and u can’t relate 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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