Malaika 💎 back again in WTF is a Bungo 😭
@chuuyasmotocycl
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Malaika • 20 • BSD • 🖤SKK🖤 • Fanfic Writer/Beta • extp 3w4/378
Soukoku Brainrot
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hi! i’m malaika/ria! feel free to call me either or :)
here’s a masterthread!
ao3:
retrospring:
cc:
carrd:
tumblr:
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CHUUYA IN THIS IT’S A NEED
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dazai tries to get help with his mental health.
the agency’s all for it, and yosano is quick to diagnose him (she’d had her theories for years, hearing him talk about it to her just confirmed them).
so she gives him his first prescription.
and it works. for a little bit.
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haven’t seen this one in a while so-
dazai’s soaked to the bone because, yes, he once again jumped into a lovely, flowing river.
but that’s not his main problem right now.
his problem is that it Wasn’t one of the Agency members who fished him out.
no, it was none other than-
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childhood friends skk idea where dazai remembers the exact moment when he learned that words can be weapons.
it’d been during chuuya’s soccer season when they were nine. it was only his second season, but chuuya’d already proven he was a natural,
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i cannot believe they both painted their nails black for this like THEY ARE DOUBLE BLACK FR
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i just want skk taking care of each other
like chuuya, who rarely gets sick — not because of arahabaki but because he naturally built up a good immune system after living on the streets and being able to eat well in the pm just increased that — but when he does fall ill, he’s
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there’s a box in the back of chuuya’s closet, kept away from all prying eyes, especially his own.
it’s for those nights when he’s drunk enough to barely remember doing it and his walls are lowered just enough that he can feel something, that he looks at the box’s contents.
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skk and their “i hate you’s”
maybe it really means “i hate that you know me in and out”
or “i hate that you’ve seen me at my worst”
or maybe “i hate that you accept me when i can’t accept myself”
i think it’s skk hating the fact that their partners saw them when the tears
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Day 1: Guns/Knives
#skktober
Dazai learned early on in their partnership which of Chuuya’s knives were okay to snatch.
The one on his thigh? Anytime, whether Chuuya notices or not.
The one on his ankle? Hell no, Dazai almost died to Chuuya’s forearm knife the one time he
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Day 7: Alcohol
#skktober
Dazai knows the phases of Chuuya’s alcohol intake (see: Book 7 of Dazai Osamu’s Grievances against Nakahara Chuuya) like the back of his hand.
Can picture them so clearly that it’s a movie playing in his head, each detail highlighted in his mind’s eye
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thinking about chuuya who gives the best damn hugs in yokohama~
dazai’s always known that touch is an intimate thing, a special thing that can fill the heart with warmth and joy.
many forget about this, so used to feeling that human language against their skin that they’re +
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parents skk in which their daughter knows that cuss words from chuuya’s mouth are bad and that they’re not to be repeated.
but the second dazai accidentally lets a fuck slip out, it’s /game over/.
she’s reborn a sailor that day and chuuya can’t stop laughing at dazai for it.
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hc that chuuya has some of the most random scars
sure there’s the occasional bullet wound one from saving his shitty ex-partner’s
some spots have remnants of corruption, just reddened patches here and there
but then there’s odd ones like a cat scratch on his stomach after he
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thinking about all the little things skk does for each other.
sure, there’s the obvious protecting each other’s blind sides.
but i’m talking the other things that pop up when they start dating and living together+
(*cough* you guys should add your hcs too *cough*)
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hc Dazai has managed to copy his natural laugh when he’s fake laughing
at least for everyone else, he has
they have no idea when he’s laughing genuinely or not
and he plans to keep it that way, greater power to him in social situations, yada yada yada.
except-
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Day 6: Camellias
#skktober
Chuuya comes to with a groan and a massive headache, pulses of bruising passing all through his body.
The last thing he remembers is a tight situation and the go ahead to say those forbidden words then complete darkness. Dazai had promised to get him
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Day 5: Trust
#skktober
Dazai can’t describe it, the trust between him and Chuuya.
A bond so strong it’s as if he can see Chuuya’s thoughts and future actions.
He’s always been a man of predictions but no where in all his years would he have predicted the impact Chuuya’s had
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Day 12: Vehicles
#skktober
Chuuya learned early in their partnership that Dazai is not, and can not, be allowed to drive under any circumstance except one.
And that’s only if Chuuya is legitimately passed out and can’t drive for them.
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chuuya buries his face into dazai’s neck, leaving dazai to proudly smile over the small victory of flustering his boyfriend.
/end
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but he knows for sure he’ll always have the agency and chuuya’s support.
and that’s what matters most to him.
—
end
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his chibi of a partner.
of whom should Not have been near the river to begin with, according to dazai’s “research.”
but no, the silly slug had taken a detour or whatever, and now dazai is sitting in said slug’s apartment.
specifically the bathroom because, and he quotes,
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“you’re gonna catch a fucking cold, shitty mackerel.”
so now he’s in chuuya’s lavish bathtub that has freaking hot tub jets and dazai’s turning red from the steam that’s building up (not because of a certain redhead being Naked in the Tub with Him… definitely not).
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Day 8: Hats
#skktober
Chuuya gets it.
He really does.
He, too, would be willing to steal to get a hat as cool as his.
That does not include Dazai stealing his, though.
So, after the something-thousandth attempt to steal his hat, Chuuya’s had enough.
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he feels /better/ for a couple days, like he has enough energy to get through the day without becoming one with the ada’s couch
but here’s the thing people don’t always tell you. prescriptions can take weeks for the exact ways it effects you to be revealed
this one gives dazai
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a better mood for a few days but in exchange his barely-there appetite completely disappears. in a week, he’s down by more than just a few pounds.
so yosano has him stop that one before he loses any more weight and they try another one once the other is out of his system.
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dazai hums noncommittally, sinking into chuuya’s arms.
stupid slug and his stupid slimy arms and stupid comforting presence.
dazai’s farce to get chuuya to freak out failed and now he’s stuck in a hug.
how rude.
he didn’t want a hug and he still doesn’t.
maybe…
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-chuuya would have his head if he tried. no, chuuya definitely had the leash — wait no, reins. he’s not the dog between them — on dazai with his suicide attempts.
and since the agency hasn’t seemed to have gotten it in their heads yet to basically keep him in their sights all-
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but chuuya sees each and every one of the effects these meds have on him.
hell, chuuya’s the one that writes the list of positives and negatives that he shows to yosano each day.
and dazai’s grateful.
throughout it all, chuuya’s supported him.
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ruining dazai’s /life./
he hates him.
a bonk to his shoulder has him flinching out of his sulking.
“stop thinking for once and just relax. it’s not hard, i promise.”
dazai groans, and without warning, flings himself backwards into chuuya’s chest.
the redhead, used to his
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“i can’t fucking believe you, jumping in another river. i thought you were past that,” chuuya grumbles, lathering his hands in shampoo.
it’s true, dazai Did have a time in the mafia where he wasn’t jumping in every river that caught his eye. though, that was really just because-
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he knows he should be embarrassed but when you and your partner have been like this since sixteen and you were deprived of this for four years… well, it’s no wonder he fell so quick.
both into chuuya’s arms and into love.
the things this chibi does to him, he swears.
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antics, catches him unfortunately easily, and now dazai is stuck in the slug’s slimy embrace.
“you’re so annoying,” chuuya grumbles, tightening his arms around dazai. “going and jumping in rivers just to be pampered. just ask next time instead of getting us both cold and wet.”
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take effect. but it doesn’t.
so it’s on to the third try. and they always say that’s the charm, right?
except this one knocks him /out./ he’s never slept that much in his life, and by the end of it, even kunikida admits that him and the couch are best friends.
they’re quick to
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to balance himself.
“hey! stay still, i’m trying to help you,” chuuya screeches, and dazai feels chuuya’s foot kick his hip as the redhead moves forward.
stupid chibi.
all dazai does is sigh.
stupid partner with his stupid tub and his stupid caring, kind disposition,
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but dazai can feel the smile in chuuya’s voice.
dazai hums happily as he yanks on chuuya’s arms, forcing the redhead to tip forward enough for dazai to peck his cheek.
dazai doesn’t have to look up to know chuuya’s cheeks are red, and it’s not from the steam either.
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Day 4: Friends
#skktober
I love friends skk like the next person but you know what makes me wanna squeal affectionately? Childhood-friends SKK
They are The Besties™️ attached at the hip ever since they met on the first day of preschool.
+ it was nerve-wracking for tiny Dazai.
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well, if he’s stuck here, he might as well enjoy it.
and with that, he /nuzzles/ into chuuya, enjoying how the redhead’s arms get even tighter around him and he can feel chuuya’s head rub against his.
“you’re gonna be the death of me, I swear,” is whispered into his hair,
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“swear to god,” chuuya whispers under his breath before assaulting dazai’s hair with shampoo. “ugh, stop using the 2-in-1 stuff, it’s not good for your scalp.”
dazai only pouts, crossing his arms in front of him and bringing his knees up to hold them as he leans farther forward-
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himself at home with yet another bottle
“a new one?” that familiar voice asks.
dazai turns his head to face chuuya as the redhead hangs up his coat.
there’s two things keeping dazai going through all this trial and error — the agency and chuuya.
the agency only gets glimpses,
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-the time… well, of course, the suicide-obsessed man is gonna aim for the river each time. clearly it’s an agency problem, not a dazai one.
“not my fault,” dazai mumbles. he’s hunched in on himself, facing away from chuuya. he can see chuuya’s eyebrow-raise in his mind.
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one, he would do anything to support chuuya in becoming the greatest forward ever and,
two, he’d always use his words against others to defend chuuya’s honor,
and three, if he’s ever in a fight, his weapon is his tongue.
//end
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stop that med.
even if they haven’t been trying for long, at least when compared to how long these drugs say they need to take effect, it’s still a lot.
despite knowing how many options there are, dazai’s losing hope.
he’s seen how others have been helped — atsushi has anxiety
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apartment.
they stay like that for a while, just breathing and taking it all in.
chuuya tugs on his waist, asking for him to face him. when he does, he’s met with the bluest eyes, filled with so much love and affection that it makes his heart stutter.
it always stutters, no
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matter how many times he gazes into those ocean depths.
chuuya smiles, his eyes crinkling. “you know i’m proud of you, right? just for even having the courage to try to get better. that alone takes a lot.”
that, plus the way chuuya squeezes him so tight with comforting arms,
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meds that suit him, kunikida does too, for ocd — but he honestly thinks there’s something wrong with him, with his body. that no med will fit this fuckup of a body that he has.
and if he has to go back to his old ways, so be it. it wasn’t the /worse/ and it’s not like it’d be
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two arms snake around his waist, bringing him in for a behind hug. he feels chuuya breathe him in before speaking.
“who knows, maybe this’ll be the one.” chuuya squeezes him. all dazai can do is nod. chuuya starts rocking them side to side, a hummed melody ringing out in their
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this new one has no effect. his mood doesn’t change and his insomnia is still a pain. his appetite does come back, but they rule that as a consequence of coming off the other med.
they stick with this drug for two weeks in the hopes that it would build up in his system enough to
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with every little thing that’s ever come up.
and when dazai mentioned wanting to get better, chuuya was all for it, excited for him to talk to yosano, to give /himself/ a /chance./
“a new one,” dazai nods.
chuuya must sense his hopelessness because before dazai knows it,
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Day 9: Gakuen AU
#skktober
7 years.
They’ve known each other for seven long years.
Chuuya honestly can’t believe they haven’t killed each other yet.
But here they are, walking home from school once again, bickering as usual for one of the last times.
It’s… comforting,
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bad. he’s lived like for 22 years, after all.
the second he voices that to yosano, though, she shuts it down.
“patience,” she says. “we’ll find the right one.”
dazai only scoffs but she gives him a new prescription.
take it at night with food, she’d said.
so dazai finds
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makes his heart stutter for a whole different reason.
ignoring the way his vision goes a little blurry, he leans down, resting his head on chuuya’s shoulder as he brings his arms up to hug chuuya back.
god, dazai loves him so much.
the redhead always did have a way to know
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this was definitely supposed to be dazai being flustered the whole time but i was craving fluff so please feast on domestic skk
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just what to say to help him
he’s /so/ thankful for chuuya.
a smile makes its way onto his face as their rocking and humming continues.
maybe this med’ll be the one, maybe it won’t.
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Day 10: Gems/Crystals
#skktober
“Only a diamond can polish a diamond.”
The first time Chuuya heard the Boss say that, he thought it was the dumbest thing ever, according to his fifteen-year-old intelligence.
The Boss’ saying was only logical, once he read a geology book, and
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@foundmywei
Yesss 🥹 and if they get a black cat later so the orange cat can have a playmate when skk are on missions tgt? The black cat immediately attaches to Chuuya and is so passive aggressive with Dazai with many side eyes and will Talk Back if Dazai so much as looks at Chuuya wrong
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this guy didn’t know that chuuya hadn’t slept well last night.
this guy didn’t know that chuuya had gotten into a fight with his sister an hour before the game.
and this guy for sure didn’t know that dazai osamu would do /anything/ for nakahara chuuya.
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he finally spoke up.
“chuuya knows he’s better tha—mmph!”
chuuya’s arms were wrapped around him so tight that he couldn’t really breathe. but he didn’t dare say anything when he heard the shaky breaths coming from the redhead.
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for his usual threats of beating his opponent up to ring out.
when nothing happened…
he’d looked at chuuya’s reaction and saw /tears/ forming in his wide eyes, the hurt lying within them, saw his face getting red from shame and—
oh, dazai was /mad./
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earning himself one of the forward positions, or, as the kids called it, “striker.”
(because unlike dazai, these unruly elementary boys didn’t take the time to learn the official terms. except chuuya, only because dazai info-dumped on him.)
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the words were out of his mouth before he even properly thought them.
“says the ‘striker’ who missed three passes and failed to score twice in the first half.”
the look the kid sent dazai’s way — one of half-shock and half-anger — almost made him flinch.
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“if you’d gotten all those passes and shots then maybe the team would have won. don’t blame it on chuuya when you couldn’t even get those, loser.”
a flinch.
that’s all dazai had needed before he dragged chuuya off with him,
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not even throwing a glance back at the damage he’d done
he’d decided they’d go for a walk around the other soccer fields. as much as verlaine would give him the stink eye, dazai knew chuuya’s dad would be thankful for it. the man could never handle a crying chuuya.
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because dazai osamu didn’t speak up. he was chuuya’s shadow, after all; would let chuuya do the talking.
but dazai could /see/ the way his comment affected him; hidden in the depths of the kid’s eyes, dazai saw him /shudder./
“hah?”
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instead he brought his own arms around him, crushing chuuya just as hard so that there was a different reason for that labored sound.
from that day on, dazai made a resolution. a few, actually.
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hit Hard. he can go years without getting sick but all of a sudden, the flu strand evolves and Bam! he’s out for a week, sick in bed as he tries to not die.
that’s when dazai comes in to be a decent partner for once.
they barely talk, barely look each other in the eyes, but
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Day 11: Banter/Bickering
Words have never been Soukoku’s thing.
Well, that’s a little bit of a lie.
More like, words of sincerity have never been their thing.
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and when he saw the way this kid had the audacity to /smirk/ at chuuya for it?
dazai had always thought the metaphor of seeing red was just that: a metaphor.
but in that moment, all those years ago, dazai swears he saw red.
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anythings to each other, sometimes coming from a fever dream and sometimes not.
someone might come to check up on them, but for now, despite being ill, they’re happy in each other’s presence.
/end
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it was at the end of a close game when chuuya fumbled the final kick, hitting the edge of the goal’s post, giving the opposing team’s goalkeeper enough time to grab the ball and end the game.
as expected, the whole team was disappointed, not at chuuya, but in general.
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it was barely fifteen seconds, enough time for most of the upset kids to run off to their waiting parents, when the other forward of chuuya’s team walked up to where they’d been standing off to the side, dazai trying to coax chuuya into talking so he could help him.
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“you shouldn’t be a striker if you’re gonna mess shots up like that.”
dazai was already upset because chuuya was upset. but now this? how /dare/ this guy say that to /chuuya?/
glaring at the other player himself, dazai’d been ready to hear chuuya’s usual shout of indignation,
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but dazai knew chuuya was already beating himself up, so the second the team was done with their post-game meetup, he was at chuuya’s side, ready to give hugs or back-pats or whatever chuuya needed.
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there dazai is, holding chuuya’s hair back as he empties his guts in the toilet for the umpteenth time, uncaring of the way chuuya will lean against him afterward.
dazai even manages to make him oatmeal when he’s not nauseous and willingly goes to the store when chuuya runs
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out of anything.
on the flip side, when dazai ever gets sick — which is also rare, more so cause he hides it until the fatigue catches up to him — chuuya is right there by his side.
actually, he forces dazai from that shipping container right into his apartment.
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dazai hadn’t commented on chuuya’s not-very-subtle swipe at his eyes once they were out of sight of the other kid.
he also hadn’t commented when chuuya grabbed his hand instead of being pulled by his arm.
once he’d brought them to one of the few trees in the park,
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body warmth as they curl up on the couch to play video games or watch a movie. nor will they talk about the way chuuya always cooks crab or the way he checks dazai’s temperature every hour or so.
it’s become tradition — to take care of each other — at this point. ever since
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and when dazai’s sick, the apartment’s never quiet, even if he loses his voice.
chuuya’s always filling in the gaps and dazai will insert some whining when he is able to talk.
but out of all the things to talk about, they don’t talk about the way chuuya will share his
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hirotsu sent dazai to take care of chuuya and kouyou sent chuuya to take care of dazai during their first year of being partners.
and now, going on 23, it’s still the same. except this time they’re both sick.
they’d been getting their shit together — aka living together —
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but he Hates that Dazai covers his mouth for it
why hide such a gorgeous smile filled with youth and joy? with bright teeth slightly crooked from the idiot forgetting to wear his night retainers? with shallow dimples that rarely see the sun yet can light up a whole room?
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so now they’re stuck in bed with no real motivation to get up to make food, but at least they have each other as dazai hugs the outside of chuuya’s blanket burrito, one of each of their hands intertwined at the small opening of the blankets.
every so often, they’ll whisper sweet
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when whatever virus decided to infect them both.
a call to ane-san got them a basket — delivered by hirotsu — of medicine, electrolyte drinks, and some vasoline, along with some easy-on-the-stomach snacks.
for once, chuuya is the one freezing while dazai is dying from the heat.
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whenever Dazai laughs genuinely, he raises his hand to cover his mouth — as if ashamed of the noise, even though it’s the most beautiful thing Chuuya’s ever heard
it was after Chuuya came to this realization that he could hear the differences in Dazai’s laughs
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Chuuya knows better.
you see, Chuuya realized a long time ago that Dazai has a dead giveaway for his types of laughs
people usually listen for the tone, the inflection, the naturalness, the sound of it
but Chuuya saw its physicality
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there’s a reason that his walls are bare of familiar faces, instead filled with images of scenery.
he can handle nature; its slow-changing, never-ending, ever-present.
he can’t handle the faces of people long or short gone.
that’s what the boxes are for.
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Day 3: PM!SKK
#skktober
Honestly, not much of a traditional thread today, just Thoughts™️
Because wdym pm!skk became double black during some of their most formative years??
like, idk about you, but the ages 15-18 were pretty impactful on me.
skk should’ve been in high school
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so, so subtle but there’s a hardy-ness in his real ones that’s hard to replicate
the tone, inflection, everything could be identical to his real one but there’s something in it, something human, that Chuuya hears
and he can’t get enough of it
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why hide such beauty when you can share it with the world?
maybe that’s why he does it. because the world seeing it would be a weakness, right?
(little does Chuuya know that Dazai’s world IS him)
so Chuuya vows to get the mackerel to laugh freely.
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but sometimes guilt settles in, lingers in his chest and spreads to the rest, hindering his thoughts until they’re nothing but “you’ve forgotten.”
and that’s when the drunk nights come in.
because he hasn’t forgotten — he doesn’t believe that he /can/ — he just…
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but chuuya doesn’t think he’ll be using that method too often when the idiot starts laughing for real again.
at least not when the brunet is having so much fun, and breathing life into their veins by doing so.
or maybe, he’ll keep kissing him if it means dazai will laugh like-
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it means he’s real, he’s human.
//
yes this is your daily reminder that chuuya is indeed human and he loved his mother very much that he’d defend her honor and that he has the scar to prove it <3 (sb ruining me again)
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has to move on, choose to ignore it while still using it to fuel him, because if he focuses on it—
he looks at the pictures in the box, at the smiling faces long dead and left in the past, forever engraved on a slip of camera roll.
at the lives ended, like a vertical line was
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guess who has a whole fic in her wips with this being a more fleshed out scene for it :P
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Chuuya hadn’t discovered them there until later when he was rearranging his room and going through his stuff. Upon discovery, though, he was quick to understand Dazai’s trust in him, and there the two guns lay to this day.
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in his heart and memories, in the pictures he saves to remember them by — his own unique way of continuing their stories, even if they hurt to look at.
but, he reminds himself, tears still falling on a striped shirt, the photos are how the lost souls live on.
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this every time afterward.
the end :)
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reaching up to push dazai’s head towards him.
it’s short, but that kiss is like nothing chuuya’s — or dazai’s — ever experienced.
chuuya goes back to standing with his full feet, admiring the view of dazai’s red face.
that’s one way to get the mackerel to shut up, then.
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chuuya frowns at that. “why do you do that?”
“you’ll have to be specific, hatrack.”
“covering your mouth when you laugh for real.”
dazai’s eyes go wide in an instant, the dots connecting fast.
“how’d slug figure it out?”
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-his wrist, chuuya can finally see the beauty of his real laugh. in the way it shapes his face to one of joy and amusement, with something he doesn’t want to name — it starts with L — embedded in the lines.
he can’t help himself as he stands on his tiptoes, his free hand-
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“it sounds human.” chuuya crosses his arms, that look in his eyes that tells dazai he can’t gaslight them out of this.
dazai tries anyway. “it’s an exact copy…?”
“not to me.” chuuya smiles, hiding nothing from dazai.
dazai laughs again, and with chuuya’s hands still around-
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he’ll do it when it’s only them to hear, where the only other witness will be the galaxy above.
that’s how they end up on a cliff overlooking the ocean, a certain headstone facing the sea.
they’ve exchanged quips all night long, bantering back and forth like the children-
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