Char
@charcomplains
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here to further the bob agenda. alt is @charislocked . @charcomplains on bsky.
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Whatever you’d expect the picture to be on this story is not the picture you’re gonna get
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If Shamima Begum had been a 15 year old white girl there would be no QUESTION that she had been groomed. She’d already be back here having a psych eval and her baby would not be dead. Not up for debate.
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Picked it up hot turkey is about to permanently enter my lexicon
You know how some people brag about quitting smoking cold turkey?
Well I just picked it up hot turkey. Straight into addiction.
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Non-white girls aren’t afforded the same luxury of childhood as white girls are. From 15 onwards she was almost permanently pregnant, under our law that 👏🏼 is 👏🏼 rape. 15 y/o children cannot be ISIS brides & calling her that puts an agency on her that she did not have.
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The love is blind reunion is maaaad. This guy was cheating on a girl with asthma during a pandemic, got the other girl pregnant, gave them both covid, and old mate Amber is sticking up for him saying the girl should have “expected the worse” bc they weren’t married 😭😭😭
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I SET THE PRECEDENT FOR LONG COVID TO BE CONSIDERED A DISABILITY AT MY WORK AND THEYRE REVIEWING THEIR FLEXIBLE WORK POLICY AS A RESULT AHHH JOIN A UNION AHHH
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Funniest thing I found in my medical notes was after a convo with my doc where I said that long covid makes me so nauseas I can’t eat my favourite foods anymore (which I then listed). My actual medical notes say “can’t eat creamy tortellini”.
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So rare to see a good April Fools but
@RoseSchmits
has done it omg the best use of a blue tick since Eli Lilly. that first one rly had me momentarily believing this morn
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Uni's a rollercoaster like some days the biggest stress is the impending doom of your future and other days it's where've all the forks gone
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Kordell might be the nicest guy to come off a reality tv show ever omg this guy has been spinning around NY for the past 5 days and he’s so happy to do it 😭😭
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Kneecap watched Olly Alexander commit career suicide and thought it would somehow go differently for them lol??? We are in a shame shortage
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Anyone left in the party with any principles should resign. You have changed nothing from within, this man insists on running the Labour Party into the ground.
🚨 BREAKING: Keir Starmer will sack all of his shadow ministers that back the SNP Gaza ceasefire vote tomorrow
[
@benrileysmith
]
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Me (absolutely 0 historical knowledge of football) after watching the beckham documentary
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Some people like going into the office, some like working from home, others like a mix of both. This topic is so interesting that we will discuss it every 3-5 weeks until we’re all dead.
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@BeeBabs
Far more likely that he’s just incapable of feeling any kind of emotion, let alone love for his own children lol
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No but imagine going into a villa with 6 of the most average men you’ve ever met in your life. For them to spend the whole time talking about how they hope you will “grow on them”
#LoveIsland
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Tbh I would giggle if a man that looks like he’s one side eye away from doing a GBH was that close to me
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“They said I’d get a free pizza if I got the vaccine. So I got the vaccine. 10 times”
Imagine an episode of The Office where they all have to get vaccinated
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The Nanny Carrie storyline really went from 0-100 like one day she’s skinny dipping in their pool, the next she’s kidnapped Jamie from a funeral and she’s holding Dan hostage and then they have to run through corn fields to escape her? OTH writers were unmatched until Riverdale
Nathan was NOT rejecting Nanny Carrie enough for me in the beginning. This lady creeps up on in your bedroom while you are undressed. She strokes your arm. She skinny dips in front of you and says you turn her on. Sir. SIR???? He loved it!!!
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I love having Twitter mutuals on Insta bc I’ll open this app and find them 7 tweets deep into a thread deconstructing the welfare system, then open insta and see from their stories that they’re outside at a dinner or something. We are all so horrifically online.
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@ArtyBagger
@_HelenMott_
She wrote an entire article on her views about trans people (one of the most marginalised groups) during pride month and black lives matter but it’s Owen Jones that’s dog whistling? Do your arms hurt from this reach?
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Was once talking to a guy who was like this. Told me he’d stopped listening to music to see if he “had the self control” and when I asked what he did for fun he said “juggle”
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BRAG TIME. If you’d told me 5 years ago I’d have:
- lost 4 stone
- beat crippling mental illness
- got a first
- passed driving test
- moved 2 London
- landed a job at my dream charity
I’d have laughed in ur face. 6 FOR 6 on my life goals. You love to see it.
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Seeing Chris being nicer to a plastic baby than Liv has been to him this entire season
#loveisland
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No one:
Literally no one:
J.K. Rowling: Voldemort
*spins wheel*
Was into
*picks a card*
Piss play
J.K. Rowling reveals Dumbledore and Grindelwald had an ‘intense' sexual relationship.
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Instagram after showing you 5 adverts, 3 sponsored posts, and a photo of a girl you met in a club toilet that one time
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This Millie/Liam situ is giving me war flashbacks to every toxic ex my best mates have ever taken back. I can’t watch omg.
#loveisland
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People accusing the writers room of misogyny bc Shiv experiences misogynistic storylines while trying to gain power in a white patriarchal company you are beyond saving
I'm scrolling through the Succession hashtag and like I am a little surprised that people are like "wow there is truly no one to root for" so you mean this wasn't all ironic? This was earnest "rooting" ?
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Brad and Lucinda after announcing their feelings on that date, realising neither is willing to follow the other one home
#loveisland
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So boring to watch people who get paid to move cells around in excel, who get promoted for simply being at an org for a few years, go on about what skilled work is every time there’s a strike. Bore off man isn’t there a font you should be deciding on right now.
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I have to write these threads for work and my dad is their number one fan he goes through liking every tweet and then texts me after telling me this is my “best thread so far” every time. The man is the source of all my self esteem
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Uni: *has appalling mental health services*
Students: please can you take our mental health more seriously
Uni:
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@declankenny94
@sellottie2
It’s a targeted strategic boycott in line with BDS targets so I just don’t think there’s any common sense argument against. You don’t cross a picket, particularly if you have built your brand on being really strong on this stuff imo
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What could go wrong
From today, police have been granted extra powers, including self-isolation "spot checks" in high-risk areas based on "local intelligence" (neighbours reporting on each other), as new local lockdowns and £10K fines come into force
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@sellottie2
They’re angry people want them to boycott great escape. If in doubt call your detractors middle class.
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My fave will always be when my Nan accidentally confirmed that my cousins monitor my social media and send the posts to her- the pic had only been posted on insta. She left me on read for half an hour when she realised what she’d done loool
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Possibly the least amusing popular comedian + textbook scummy white feminist. She's lucky she gets paid work in the first place
Amy Schumer insisted Netflix pay her the same as Chris Rock or Dave Chappelle
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I can’t believe Cardi B just brought this meme to life
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Wtf is a “parachute in vaccine supplies to save africa” just waive the patent you murderous fucks
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He’d fall to his knees in despair except he still can’t figure out how to give his widget legs
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Passed my BSL level one!!!! I now have a certificate that says I can competently describe the layout of my office and what I had for dinner last night, in sign language!! Omg one year of learning a new language while I was grappling with chronic illness, COMPLETE
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Opening my windows on this sunny day to let my 99th percentile polluted fresh air in x
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Me: can you get a nice candid of me
Tim: what’s a candid?
Me: like when I don’t know I’m being photographed
Tim:
Me:
Tim:
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Imagine a government so reluctant to accept the onus for tackling knife crime that we’ve got companies taking up the gauntlet and doing fucking stupid shit like this. I am tired.
Asda has announced it will remove single kitchen knives from sale by the end of April in response to concerns about knife crime
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*making my show about dragons* better include a load of rape so it’s historically accurate!!
@HouseofDragon
@HBO
#HouseoftheDragon
“pulls back” on the amount of sex but will depict sexual violence inherent in its Middle Ages-inspired world: “[We] don’t shy away from it. If anything, we’re going to shine a light on that aspect. It shouldn’t be downplayed or glorified”
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The Magic Money Tree when it’s time to go to war vs when it’s time to feed hungry children
Prime Minister Boris Johnson is due to announce tomorrow a £16.5bn increase in defence spending over the next four years in what is being billed as the biggest programme of investment in Britain's armed forces since the end of the Cold War
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Interior Design Masters doesn’t hit the same since the Guy Who Paints Everything Black left the show. Something so reliably comedic and unhinged about watching him turn every brief into his quest for absolute darkness I miss it.
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Explain how maroon 5 went from 'she will be loved' to this [100 marks]
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@townsendyesmate
When the mugs are still a bit wet though that really changes the order bc suddenly you have an additional chore
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All Points East was worth it for Victoria Monet alone omg a PERFORMER. GloRilla dance break? Party Girls over Beyoncé Baby Boy instrumental? HAIROGRAPHY?!
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Laura K doing her contracted one thread per year criticising the Tories so she can’t be accused of bias
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New Matty Healy content on the TL every single day that is somehow worse every time this is inescapable suffering
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Wes Streeting just delivered their pre-prepared line for this which is that Corbyn “stacked up votes in safe seats and presented it as a victory” whatever the fuck that means
Sky News just now: Keir Starmer set to have lower vote share than Jeremy Corbyn in 2017
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How could I hate women? My mum wife Nan is one
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Pam Grier as Jackie Brown, hall of fame best anyone has ever looked on screen
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Met Police have stopped using tool for accountability after finding tool too successful at holding them accountable.
The Metropolitan Police has decided not to routinely release bodycam video footage after internal reviews showed officers displaying "poor communication, a lack of patience, a lack of de-escalation before use of force is introduced"
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This speech was brought to you by Popular TV Personality Lorraine Kelly, not to be confused with Lesser Known Tax Evading Lorraine Kelly
'We're all the same and we all should be treated exactly the same.'
@reallorraine
delivers an inspiring speech as she accepts the Outstanding Contribution to British Television award at
#RTSAwards
.
#Lorraine
@RTS_media
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No one:
Guy trying to chirpse a girl who’s just gone on holiday: you should’ve packed me in your suitcase 🙈🙊
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Left my Apple Watch at my dates’ so there’s a 60% chance she saw my friends replies to my debrief in real time
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People tweeting about watching Eurovision whilst criticising Israel can actually fucking spare me lol. You couldn’t boycott a singing competition? You look ridiculous
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Any more than 5 and your table’s starting to look like the last supper. People at the other end of the table may as well be at another party fr
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Imagining his PR team pleading with him to be seen with women over 25 and having to compromise on the ripe old age of 27
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@_HelenMott_
@ArtyBagger
She wrote an article using her abuse as a reason to express views on a group she isn’t part of. Owen Jones wasn’t being misogynistic, he was defending a group that she wrote an entire article against to 14 million followers. Have you read any of the fact checks on her letter?
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Every time there’s a new piece of news that suggests we might not get the 4 day bank hol next year
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Sorry you’ve caught the ick off Paul Mescal but I’m built different
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Asked the guy taking my passport photo to retake. on the third time he said “you know it’s not gonna change right” and he looked like THIS MEME. I have to respect it, he was right.
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So funny that labour voters want a GE right now while labour itself are crying and throwing up at the thought bc their current manifesto is “we are not the tories and uh but we also do all the Tory policies and importantly we hate workers”
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Student finance are allowed to handle an incredible sum of money considering how hopeless and moronic their staff are
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@Dr2NisreenAlwan
To me it’s like my bones feel heavy and emotionally I’m somehow both numb and on the brink of tears. I tend to lose interest in everything when the fatigue is really bad. It’s brain AND body which I think a lot of people don’t realise
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This is the funniest fucking interpretation of nepo baby so far omg. “You’re pointing out that my path to success was easier than for others who don’t come from my background? Shall I KILL MYSELF?!”
Marc Jacobs, told me, "It’s so easy to throw around these titles like nepo baby. What do you do, kill yourself because you come from a good family?"
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