CAT COHEN, The Twist...? She's Parody
@catccohen
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Following
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new special 𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓜𝓮 drops oct 17 on @veeps ❤️ debut album★𝘖𝘝𝘌𝘙𝘋𝘙𝘌𝘚𝘚𝘌𝘋★ nov 15 @elektrarecords watch THE TWIST? SHE'S GORGEOUS on @netflix
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MY ORIGIN STORY
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"he has a new girlfriend but i Freaking Love Her!!!" - girl who is Not Okay
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anyone at the gym who looks at me for even a second is my enemy Xo
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lots of cities are sold out but there’s still tix for vancouver, minneapolis, austin & more!
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places w a bathroom key it's like....honey i'm not tryna steal ur toilet....u can chill
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if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does anyone know why my crush feels comfortable not watching my insta stories?
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my first U.S. tour! i’m coming for a city near you💋💋💋tix at
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every time i have to write something? i instead do all my dishes and all my neighbor's dishes! i sort through everything ive ever owned, i do a load of laundry for the world !!! when all is clean,,,, then i can have a single idea
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mfw u post 12 photos from the same event
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"food is medicine" - me eating one salad after ordering pad thai & spring rolls for din three days in a row
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this is a pic of me listening to the song "bad guy" by billie eilish
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who needs therapy when i can make a hot brothy stew and look at apartments i cant afford on street easy for nine hours
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i feel so connected to my ancestors when i pay in cash...
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to put the ponytail thru the hat loop is to see the face of god
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every 45 min i oscillate between feeling like the most beautiful woman in the world & the biggest loser who has ever lived on planet e ❤️
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Ivette Desktop: The Girl Who Went To Paris Once
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if 11 yr old me could see 31 yr old me wearing "curve love" jeans from abercrombie...
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going to visit hometown =
40% overeating
50% hearing about terrible things that have happened to acquaintances
10% wine
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feeling flirty (and follow up tweet, "i ate a vegetable & my body was like wait what")
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on vacation with my family (being a huge bitch 24 hours a day for no reason)
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what's it called when u know all the tips for getting out of a bad mood but there's no way ur gonna be doin any of those little activities?
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KIDS R ALWAYS ON THEYR PHOENE IM SO ANGRY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i feel like she will care about me when we're in our 40s tbh
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it seems we (royal we) have lost the plot !
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should i wear my tall white boots or my short white boots (keep in mind im not going anywhere)
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a huge part of being depressed is saying "idk why im so tired" 60+ times a day
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my fave part of the wedding is when the best man tramples over my lifeless body
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tiktok has me buying jean shorts from abercrombie and fitch?????? send ambulance to my home address thank u!
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and not tweeting for 3 years? it's a little science i call leave them wanting more vibes
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to be fair, they can be good sometimes tho
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just watched the most incredible woman look at her phone, check the temperature and then turn to her friend and say "omg thats why im so hot
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ever since i first read a women's magazine in my tweens...i've been trying, striving, toiling (even) to pair a flirty slip dress with combat boots-at night i lie awake tossing/ turning ...my mind unravels- the juxtaposition of the elements? i'm left slackjawed at the question ...
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cashier just handed me 3 types of sauce for my chicken fingers & said "have fun!" ::)
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that time when
@catcohen
famously ignored her own perfect beautiful past (me!!!)
@catcohen
feeling abandoned(but in a sexy way—staring out windows and sighing,sitting on a bench at an old timey train station,driving a convertible with a long scarf on....)someone once told me we r born alone& we die alone& hon...that someone?....was me
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i got to see her at the houston rodeo when i was 17 & now get to see her saturday in denver as a 31 yr old woman 🥹
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i'm the billie eilish of my friend group :) just learned about her :)
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having only 2 followers? is chic, mysterious, humble even
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fast forwarding thru a tiktok...has it rly come to this?
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hahahahah everything about nyc is so deeply crazy
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canon event: reading the south beach diet book at age 14❤️
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mom jeans, dad hat, boyfriend tank, little brothers tunic....can a girl wear her own clothes or
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if a earthquake happens in nyc and im not there???? not possible actually :) missing out on things does not fit my narrative :)
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illegal to actually exercise in an exercise dress
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men love to date powerful women for 3-8 weeks
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come and see me do my little boop oop a doop at union hall
One week from tonight!
@UnionHallNY
and
@vulture
Present PRETTY MAJOR Hosted by
@JayJurden
!
Tuesday 4/25's show features special guests, including:
∙
@catccohen
∙
@lilsmichelle
∙ Jaye McBride
∙ Richard Perez
Tickets & Details:
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i say tomo instead of tomorrow and to quote
@poregan
thats just what works for me and my family
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when a hotel doesn't have a bathtub....that can be rly emotionally damaging...
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literally the only ppl on raya are ex-snowboarders. next question
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a whiff of mrs. meyers scent in the wild will unlock the deepest of repressed memories...
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