cj
@calblues01
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308
Media
283
Statuses
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ILL BE THERE TODAY
• 183182 Tweets
#DISEASEISCOMING
• 85552 Tweets
Racing
• 67769 Tweets
#GranHermanoCHV
• 66915 Tweets
Mel Gibson
• 66313 Tweets
Vikings
• 64863 Tweets
Luka
• 56585 Tweets
ILL BE THERE BY JIN
• 53744 Tweets
#IllBeThereOutNow
• 48544 Tweets
Rams
• 47900 Tweets
Romero
• 39822 Tweets
Klay
• 37206 Tweets
Ramon
• 32340 Tweets
連載マンガ
• 29463 Tweets
Yuri Alberto
• 24771 Tweets
DEAR KASIBOOK 28TH
• 24343 Tweets
Mavs
• 23040 Tweets
Puka
• 22884 Tweets
Memphis
• 19913 Tweets
Kupp
• 19603 Tweets
#MEGANACTII
• 19425 Tweets
Stafford
• 16399 Tweets
ジュニア
• 14998 Tweets
Wemby
• 14541 Tweets
Facemask
• 14156 Tweets
Darnold
• 13468 Tweets
Waldo
• 10905 Tweets
上げ底弁当
• 10555 Tweets
Instagram is mad.... I’m seeing posts like 3rd Xmas with you 😍, and I’m thinking I defo snogged u outside a kebab shop in the summer
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Few wet whipes on his feet that gaff would be spotless
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Dunno why birds request to follow me on their beauty pages, u really think I need a new fucking set of Russians
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Imagine being arsed to write all that , your name is literally a sandwich Luv
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@thapintster
@ChampCummings
Run an extension lead from your neighbours house over the fence to yours 👍
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Factor 50 on last week, snow angels on lunch break , fuck this place 🤣
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I’m not interested in your games, Amber.
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My attendance would have been 100 percent if u were my form tutor put it that way
Being a teacher actually looks like a sick job, all those holidays wow x
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@Adam_Robbo
Loool he ain’t my boy, listen I ain’t done nothing wrong, she’s a j bag. The end. Book closed. She said she’s having a good Xmas regardless 🤣
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There is something about pulling up outside your house chilling on your phone for a bit before actually getting out motor, or am I just a fruitcake
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So my mates in Dubai sitting next to a playboy model having a few drinks with her on a beach, and I’m sitting here ready to get dressed up to get some oats, bananas and milk from Tesco .... tough at the top
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You Just look like a really really nice person u know
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Has one of my mates neighbours really called the Feds on us just for gym training In his garage......... fuck me were doing a few bicep curls officer, not running a bando
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Happened to you n all fair play
Instagram is mad.... I’m seeing posts like 3rd Xmas with you 😍, and I’m thinking I defo snogged u outside a kebab shop in the summer
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Thanks for the best night, love ya
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Sniffer dog ?? He looks like he sells it 🤣🤣🤣
The security at 93 feet east are not playinf any games 😂
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Bet he’s got some blinding stories to tell on his lunch break though
In 2002, a 19-year-old British garbage man won 10 million pounds (approx $15 million) on the lottery. He spent it all on drugs, gambling and prostitutes and 8 years later was back working as a garbage man again.
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26 in July ..... aint found the love of my life so I’ll obvs just have to have another heavy summer 🤷🏻
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@TheQuietKid18
You see the video of when he says he got called into a meeting by the site manager cos the same apprentice got caught having a tug in the toilet … was creasing 🤣🤣
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Girls love to talk about what gives them the ‘Ick’ on here…like we don’t even care, we don’t rate your moody lip filler, your eyebrows pinned on like tail on the donkey, or holding a convo with u is like buttering a loaf of bread with a sledge hammer but there we fuckin go luv
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Am I the only one who don’t smoke those elf bar or vape pens all day…. U lots lungs must be like a bag of skittles 🤣
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I wasted bare Friday nights sitting in with ex girlfriends, now I’m doing it for fucking free 😡😡
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People
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And if ur pub garden don’t have a out door heater I ain’t fucking interested
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Me and Dex must have been walloped last night cos we paid 200 quid to get a taxi home…. Jesus Christ anyone want me to mow their lawn today for a few quid
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@Adam_Robbo
“Alright bud, merry Xmas , just a quick one just before I tore into my Donna in July. I tongue twisted your missus, sorry big nuts” how does that sound ??
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Still a vacancy for my plus 1 for winter wonderland this sat, most the boys got their other half going, and I can’t be feeding Qpr Reece churos and festive beer all night cos we will end up in a rave somewhere
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Feel like I got my life together this Sunday morning, walked dog picked his shit up, smiled and said hello to about 20 Elderly people, now sipping on a cuppa
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Get a bit nervous when I ask for a pain du chocolat from Greggs, gotta feel like my French has to be bang on point
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Social media just washed peoples heads… who do you have to validate to that you have a girlfriend , it’s not a law
If a man tells you he wont post u cos hes ‘private’ run for ya life
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There ain’t a single woman in my life who I love more than my mother, saved my dads life giving him a Kidney over ten years ago, gave up a very good career to look after my nan and grandad instead of them going into care. So to know my grandad is at rest now, she deserves the 🌎
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@keepitreal_82
@jennamaeperks
Bet u know what that feels like sleeping with your brothers all your life, ta da
#fuckthetoffees
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Deserved a lot longer Inside if you ask me
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Big day tomoz, Go work, hair cut, sun bed, lashes, spray tan, shopping, boozer then train in the gym till closing
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I normally stick my screwdriver in a live socket for a little treat at work to be fair
Molly Mae’s idea of a well done to herself: £37,400 bracelet
Me saying well done to myself: a lunchtime nap
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Honestly tho since I’ve had the vaccine I’ve got faster, stronger, my memory has got better, 100 percent more organised. My memory has got better, even helped me relax easier in evenings, my memory has got better and loads more
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Lock down got my message replies 3-5 working business days... I physically can’t take any more dinner convos, dog walks, how many siblings u have chat or how many cancelled holidays u had last year 😂
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Cunt looks like a bath bomb
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Fucksake when will I learn... up at 6 tomorrow for work and I’m dancing about someone’s living room like a Cunt
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Said it for time that the standard of football now isn’t even close to what It was growing up through school...
Redefined the term ‘midfield general’ and there’s been nothing like him since.
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Nan with dementia who hasn’t made sense in months, turned round to mum today in hospital and said tell Callum “he’s a brilliant grandson I love him but he just needs to listen more” somethings will never change 🤣💙
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Handy coming out of Sainsbury’s and ur motor In middle of car park cos u didn’t pull the hand break up
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Really really dunno how people can go into a pub and first beer of choice is a pint of fosters…. Absolute Criminal
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Actually love seeing my mates doing well in life... people that come from nothing pushing for what they want 🤛🏻
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Still can’t get over how I told some girl y’day she had nice teeth with such confidence standing side by side in crowd (which she did) she then turned to the other side and then shown me she was missing one with a fat gap…I was like ahhh I dunno why I open my fucking mouth🤣🤣🤣
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@SamShep07
@Ccourtney_1999
Have to roll the dice to get a number don’t ya mate, probably be all over this idea like a rash
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For people thinking sitting in a pub garden from Monday with mates 2 meters apart is the way forward are smoking something hard. A second wave of this, this country will honestly not cope. Give our country rope they will be hanging from a tree. Parties gathering everywhere.
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Lock down mood is very up n down init, one minute I’m up for running a half marathon n having a bake off in the kitchen , then with a flip of a coin I’m arguing with the neighbours setting their fence on fire
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Couple weeks ago was sitting next to my grandad in his hospital bed, we all didn’t think he would make it through. Sitting next to him now about to watch the football together and it’s such a good a feeling 💙🙏
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Having to cut my losses with my training. I’m not even bothering with home gym workouts u think I’m gonna start prancing about the living room with elastic bands round my legs to davina workout dvd u got another thing coming mate, Fuck dat
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Bet that cunt is freezing n all
Imagine buying a rug that looks like a pastry from Greggs
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So many people saying proud to be English n that after yesterday’s game, but spent most of the day just smashing up their own city, u lot are all backwards…
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I never appreciated 80’s music when I was a kid, now I’m older it’s the best genre of music
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Fair play to you if u manage to resist taking pics of the empty isles in the supermarket your gallivanting about in, not everyone can do it you know
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How has my car just passed it’s mot driven it away, 2 hours later now both my break front callipers have ceased up so I’m back getting my car fixed 🤣🤣🤣🤣.... I’m drinking something strong tonight anything less than bleach I don’t want it
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Messaged this girl at lunch saying now lock down is over we may as well go for that drink we have spoke about a while back ...she ain’t replied but I just reckon she’s run out of data
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Ah 3 years ago today I was all loved up in Florida with the ex missus, now Im arguing with some Romanian don over where he put my copper pipes 🥰
#atthetopanyway
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The only way this social distancing will work in the uk is if there is a lock down completely. Country is full of idiots and the governments advice will never be enough with majority thinking they are above the law until it’s someone in their family who is dying....
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Been told my grandad finally coming out of hospital tomorrow.... for real though everything I have ever prayed for has always came true🙏💙
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World can swallow me up today, cos I tried to give my change to a man sitting on a bench outside coffee shop (looked homeless) “mate I ain’t homeless,I’m sitting down cos my backs fucked” ahhh mate , don’t even know if I get good karma for that 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Go work, go gym, avoid catching covid, repeat for the next ten years ....
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