Melissa Burr
@burrrrrberry
Followers
14,681
Following
2,021
Media
4,914
Statuses
44,356
In a jam packed parking lot, I'm the girl who finds a front row spot 🎉 Operations Overlord @nuclearnerds 🎉 @accelerateart member🎉
Joined September 2012
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
Please dont make fun of kids who still believe in santa...
There are still tons of adults that believe the government is looking out for their best interests.
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Cashier: that'll be $6.06
Me: *hands cashier $11.06*
Cashier: *confusion and panic* ensues
Me:
Cashier:
Me:
Cashier:
Me: sorry about that, just take the $10
Me: Walks away with a handful of change and a bunch of ones while silently cursing society's basic math problem 🤦♀️
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High af buying bitcoin, betting UFC and playing online poker.
What a life I'm living right now.
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Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people at the casino.
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Please don't make fun of kids who still believe in Santa.
There are tons of adults who still believe they can quit their jobs to be a live professional player at 1/2NL with a $7 drop per hand.
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Lovie: "fuck around and find out"
Houston: "you're fired"
Lovie: "go for 2"
Houston: ...
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Social media can be fun when life is going well
SM can also be overwhelming af when life falls apart
This last month has been 1 of the toughest I can recall. Im NOT okay
Today is my birthday. Im so sad and lost, idk what to do
If youve ever felt this too, Im sending my love
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In 2014, I made history by being the first female to ever cash the 50k Poker Player's Championship at the WSOP
At that time, I was:
- miserable
- depressed
- mentally unstable
- taking 12 different medications
- playing the highest stakes in poker
- considered "successful"
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I never judge anyone harder then I do when I see someone NOT double 11 vs the dealer 6 in blackjack.
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My parents have been married for 45 years today.
I learned how to love by watching them.
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Today would be the LAST day of the WSOP.
Came with dreams, leaving with slips
Won some all ins, lost too many flips
Money was lost but more was won
3 final tables, and 1 historic run
I played my best but no bracelet for me,
I'll see you all next year at the WSOP.
#wouldbeWSOP
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You either have your phone on silent or you're a psychopath.
I dont make the rules.
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"So how did you get into bitcoin? drugs, online poker, or sports betting?"
Me: "Yes."
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On December 31, 1982, my life changed forever.
I was adopted by Mom and Dad Burr. These 2 individuals gave me everything I could want or need. They afforded me every opportunity to succeed in life.
Today, I celebrate them. The 2 greatest people I will ever know 🤍🫂
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Polk befriending Dnegs after years of relentless trolling and THEN beating him for ~million.... is a variant of Stockholm syndrome never seen or heard of in poker before.
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Guy just tried to bluff me in 2/5nl.
He fired 2 huge shells and gave up on the third.
He muttered something to his neighbor regarding how bad I was.
So I politely answered "quit being a pussy and empty the clip next time."
Jk, I just stacked his chips bc I'm a nice person.
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"I'm a professional poker player"
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For the first time in over a decade, I'm happy to report:
I went to sleep with NO XANAX 🎉
It's still very much a process, but this was the first night BENZO FREE. LFG!
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We did it!
Earlier this year, I vowed to get off xanax before 2024.
It is Dec 30, 2023, and I am happy to report that last night was the 3rd night in a row that I went to sleep xanax free.
It took a full year to taper off. So far, no awful side effects, I'm sleeping through
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I've never traded with leverage for the same reason I've never tried cocaine.
I'm know with absolute certainty that I will love it and it will destroy my life.
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Small business thread ... drop yours or anyone you know below.
I'm looking to support and I'm sure others are also.
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Poker is really special when you think about it.
You could never play golf with Tiger Woods.
You could never play tennis with Serena.
You could never swim with Michael Phelps.
But ANYONE could have played with Doyle with the right table draw at the WSOP.
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Blackjack PSA: If you dont double 11 vs the dealer 6, just go play a slot machine.
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I'm 40 years old today.
Look out casinos .... I'm coming for all of it.
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Top 5 most annoying poker players
1. One of each color betting guy
2. "I would have flopped trips" guy
3. "Just so sick" guy
4. "Would you have called more on the turn?" guy
5. "Dont worry I folded an ace" guy
If you find yourself saying 1 or more of these, please stop it.
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If you have NEVER been to a WSOP EVER, I wanna give you something 95% of players have never had.
A PROFITABLE summer
Simply retweet and post an animal pic, and I'm gonna randomly pick 1 person to give $100 and a dream so many have died chasing.
Good luck!
Winner tomorrow 6pm
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Meet BURR
- I have a double degree in marketing and business operations
- Head of recruiting for a major company at the age of 24
- Final tabled 3 WSOP events including the 50k
I am humble but will also not standby as people accuse me being just some "pretty girl" in this space
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Today would have been the 3rd day of the WSOP.
Today I would have found a GREAT cash game. Its a "little bigger" than I usually play but FUCK IT its the WSOP.
I would have lost half of my WSOP money on day 3 but thats ok Im gonna ship my first bracelet this week.
#wouldbeWSOP
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Prison Break season 1 was one of the best season 1s of all time.
I will die on this hill.
Lost
GOT
Prison Break
Fight me.
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Do yall understand what Garrett is risking by firmly and publicly stating what he did?
His entire career revolves around playing on these huge games on live streams. He HAS to be right... he's not risking his entire career on a hunch.
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I turned 42 today 🎉
I'm healthy, I have a wonderful family, supportive friends, and an amazing
@KirklandJones
🤍
We have my 4th birthday cake on deck, and I can't help but feel lucky and loved today 🙏
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Allegedly, HCL paid the production guy who controls the time stamps, can communicate w/each player via mics, AND has access to the hole cards, a previous felon who broke out of prison
~40k/year IN LOS ANGELES
An no one wondered how he was able to punt in bacc and their games?
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Biden spoke at my college graduation (University of Delaware) in 2004.
He told us he knew it was very hot and we must be uncomfortable in our cap and gowns so he promised he wouldn't speak for long.
He went on to speak for 2 hours and then the parents booed him. True story.
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Im the first woman to ever cash the 50k poker players championship!!!!
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Some unsolicited advice:
Don't quit your job because you won every day for a month in poker.
Don't quit your job because we're in a bull market for crypto.
Don't quit your job until
1. You can afford to fail
2. You have sufficient evidence of success
Stay safe kids
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Shout to my dad who taught me how to drive
Tonight a truck ran the reddest red light I’ve ever seen and while I had a green light I still looked left and right like my dad taught me to. Luckily I saw the guy and didn’t go, or else it would have been really bad.
❤️Thanks dad ❤️
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People think I'm lucky, and they're right I am, but not because I've done well in poker.
On December 31, 1982, I arrived at JFK Airport from Seoul, Korea
I was placed in the arms of my parents, formalizing my adoption. At 13 months old, my life was irrevocably changed.
1/
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Quarantine or no quarantine i'm not watching tiger king.
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Me stuck 20k playing 30 hours of 200/400:
"fuck food, idc if I ever eat again, I'm not even hungry."
Me 2 hours into intermittent fasting:
"I think I'm starving to death"
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A lot of allegiances shining thru and causing many conflicts amongst friends.
Tbh if polk and dnegs were hanging off a cliff and I could only save one.... I honestly just dont know
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.... where doug and I would go to lunch afterwards.
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2020 has been one of the best years of my life.
I'm so happy that I actually feel bad about it sometimes, because so many are struggling.
Yesterday a good friend reminded me that not only is it OK to be doing well, but a real friend will be happy to know at least someone is.
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The only thing worse than a paper straw is....
Nothing.
Nothing is worse than a paper straw.
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Both
@KirklandJones
and I made dinner break of this borgata tourney ...
PSA: for all poker players 👇
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Regardless of if she cheated or not.
I actually think Hustler is handling this worse than anyone involved and that's saying something.
1 player *potentially* cheated
1 player *potentially* strong armed the other for 135k
Hustler oversaw it all and keeps on streaming.
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Sometimes it's important to say things that people won't like.
As a former high stakes poker female, I say this with extreme confidence.
I HATE weighing in on poker topics relating to females. Mainly because most ppl have no idea wtf they are talking about.
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What's the cheapest thing you have ever seen a poker player/gambler do?
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People who will never find love
1. Bitcoin shorters
2. Don't bettors
3. Players berating fish
4. People who clap at the end of movies
5. Excessive tankers
6. Players who demand to see the losing hand just to see "if they have the hand they put them on"
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Love em or hate em, the best altruism came from the heart of CT
@cobie
,
@gainzy222
,
@DaRealMilkBagz
and others helped countless families and randoms
They had a direct positive influence on many lives. You'd only know if you were around because no one wrote articles about them.
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Future poker players will never know the thrill of riding this escalator 😭
Where the sand turned to gold...
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Today would be the 27th day of the WSOP.
Fathers Day
I would make sure to call my dad.
He'd ask how the tournaments are going. I tell him I have a 37k stack in this event.
He would tell me to "you should cash out NOW!! That's a lot of money!"
Bless his heart.
#wouldbeWSOP
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In 2010 almost no one knew me so at the WSOP I would constantly be confused for other young Asian female poker players.
A lady approached me for my autograph and I said "Im sorry, Im not who you think I am."
She answered, "thats ok I think you're going to do big things."
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PSA: Tomorrow is March 14th, Steak and BJ day.
That is all.
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Friendly reminder to the poker players as we start 2023
There’s a special place in hell for players who win a hand then immediately ask “would you have called more if I bet more?”
Just stack your chips you fucking mutant.
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NL tournament
Player A: why do you hate NL so much?
Me: I've been waiting to fold for 5 fucking minutes now.
Player A: yeah these idiots tanking like they're on TV is brutal.
Me: you know it's on you right?
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Some parent at my nephew's soccer game was talking shit when we were up 1-0 I offered to lay him 1.5 goals no juice and he clammed right the fuck up.
Its 7-0 at the half and it's awful quiet on this bleacher now.
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I dont know who needs to hear this but GG isnt banning you for winning 3 buyins at 50NL. You're safe, calm down.
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Worst part to come out of this j4 drama is Rip's wife being dragged and getting notifs as she sits home w/their newborn, as her husband goes viral on twitter after being seen at an NFL game w/another woman
How would u treat ur female friend going through this? Act accordingly.
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Today would have been the 5th day of the WSOP.
COLOSSUS
Id get KK in vs AK. Ace in the window.
Sigh "ON TO THE NEXT ONE"
Later on twitter and Id see the chip leader misspell "colossus"
How the fuck does this idiot have millions in earnings?
Poker is so unfair
#wouldbeWSOP
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Update:
It's been about 1 month since I quit Xanax.
Last night was one of the most brutal nights. I laid awake until 5am.
Anxiety kicked in, I started thinking, "I'm never going to sleep." But I just laid there and refused to cave.
We're still Xanax FREE 🎉
Some nights are
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You would have to really hate yourself to voluntarily enter a vaccination thread with the intention to change anyone's mind.
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We made the final table!!!
Down to 9 players and we getting that $71,000 and a winner's photo with
@KirklandJones
sitting in my lap.
Whoever sniped a
@nuclearnerds
hat... this mfer is LUCKY AF 🍀
Let's FUCKING GOOOOOO
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Thanks for putting up with me
@KirklandJones
🤍
Here's hoping the next 40 years are as good as the first 4🥂
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Theres a good chance were all quarantined on 4/20.
I took the necessary precautions... did you?
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Today would be the 23rd day of the WSOP.
Enough is enough.
I cant take it anymore.
I would SNAP.
Player: "what's the bet again?"
Me: "IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE BET IS.... TAKE YOUR FUCKING HEADPHONES OFF."
#wouldbeWSOP
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Today would be the 39th day of the WSOP.
3k plo8
2nd level
POT announced
Silence.
Players are looking at the dealer.
Dealer is looking at the players.
I dont want to say what the pot is and reveal myself as the only competent player, so id act like Im texting.
#wouldbeWSOP
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A lot of people don't know this, but I actually became a professional poker out of total SPITE.
I had recently gotten laid off from a corporate position that I poured my heart into.
I vowed never to be limited by someone else's decisions.
My only professional goal was and
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No company:
Absolutely no company EVER:
GGPoker: DAN BILZERIAN WOULD MAKE A GREAT AMBASSADOR FOR OUR PRODUCT.
My god this industry is a cesspool.
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If you can't lose 50% of your net worth in one day ... are you really even living?
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They just chopped 10 handed at borgata.
What happened to tournament poker smdh
BACK IN MY DAY, the short stack was refusing the chop on the grounds that "I CAME TO PLAY"
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Life UPDATE:
I'm a horrible AWFUL sleeper. I used to have to take 9 different pills just to go to sleep.
Happy to report that I am down to FOUR and that includes only 0.5mg (down from 2mg) of xanax.
I vowed to get off benzos in 2024 and it's looking good 🙌
HUGE for Burr 🤍
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Welp I busted 7th but honestly I can't complain
✅️ awesome boyfriend
@KirklandJones
✅️ tons of supportive friends
✅️ Came out of poker retirement to final table the borgata 1k
✅️ won 10k
✅️ awesome lucky
@nuclearnerds
hat
Thanks for all who sweated with me, ily all ❤️
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Shout out to all the tournament heroes getting massages with <20 blinds... you the real gamblers.
I cant even order a drink without fear I'll bust before it gets here.
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Mike Sexton was 1 of the best people in this industry.
If you ask anyone, they will say Mike was the epitome of class and character. His contributions to poker are immeasurable. He was a shining star in an at times, dark sky.
Poker thanks you Mike, you will not be forgotten.
Mike Sexton passed away peacefully at home earlier today surrounded by family members. He appreciated all the wonderful comments and farewells from poker players all over the world. Service details are forthcoming. For now, please keep his family in your thoughts as they grieve.
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Today is Momma Burr's birthday!
She doesnt have twitter but Im celebrating her anyhow!
She & my dad adopted me when I was 13 months old. That selflessness has never stopped. Shes the kindest, most thoughtful person I know, and not a day goes by that I am not thankful for her!
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Player: why do hate plo so much?
Me: eh I'm not a fan of variance and all that gambling
Player: didnt I see you playing craps yesterday?
Me: ...... who are you? My father?
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As most of you know, I am extremely passionate about the
@EponymNFT
project.
I'm happy to announce that they just recently approached me to be on their board of advisors, and I have accepted.
This project is unique in so many ways and I am honored to join this great team.
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One of the most valuable skills in poker is the ability to immediately forget the hand you fold preflop.
Second to that is resisting the urge to tell your neighbor what you would have had.
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I have accepted a new position with
@EponymNFT
to be their "Head of Strategic Growth"
"Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life." - Mark Twain
I have loved this project from day 1 and can't wait to continue aiding in building their success
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Bitcoin approaching all time highs is great and all but have you ever had an ex sell all their crypto in 2019 while you held yours?
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Man, I've never played at Hustler casino but based on all these hard vouches and testimonials, it sure seems like there are nothing but saints and angels there.
I didn't know the road to heaven was paved through Hustler 🤣
Larry Flint would be proud 👏
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In 2020, I learned a new language
I had to learn sign language if I wanted to communicate with
@KirklandJones
's parents.
Happy to report that 1 year in, I can have full conversations with them.
10/10 would recommend. It's been the most rewarding endeavor I've ever taken on.
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This might be unpopular but I'm getting kind of sick of seeing the complaints piling up against
@WAFoxen
for reentering 5x and winning 5d WPT
These are the current rules, like them or not. He played by them and won.
Might the current rules suck? Yes but thats not his fault
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Crypto got me asking questions like "how exactly does onlyfans work?"
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WINNER WINNER CHICKEN MCNUGGET DINNER
1 hour
1 girl
65 McNuggets
Thanks for everyone who watched, thanks to
@Angry_Polak
for her time and stream... special thanks to everyone who donated money ($600+) in my honor and add to my suffering.
WOULD DO AGAIN.
Stay tuned....
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The only thing worse than poker players talking hand histories is poker players talking politics.
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People often ask why I don't play poker anymore and it's not an easy question to answer.
I guess it boils down to, I didn't ENJOY it anymore.
I didn't enjoy interacting with the people. I didn't enjoy watching people destroy their lives. I didn't enjoy the negativity or the
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