✨Bùnmi✨
@bunmigrey
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in this body, many lives were lived.
Upendi
Joined December 2013
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“Once a society decides that a woman's body provokes sin in men, no amount of covering will ever be enough.”
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“Let me see your ID card”
Aha. You caught me, I just saw NYSC uniform laying around and I thought I should come queue under the sun to sign for CDS.
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“Is it on Netflix?”
No
“So where do you get it from?”
From the same place you get it before you started using Netflix mfjpm dear.
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My brother and I usually watch this Maggi cooking show; Sokoyokoto with my mom. So one day they prepared this mad egusi and pounded yam and we told my mom that we wanted some. She told us to go bring our plate and place it by the TV, and we did.
She laughed like crazy.
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Are you tired of sleeping with men who reduce your value??
We at Bunmi Phalluses & such, offer penises with intrinsic worth. No devaluation, no bear market, nothing.
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“Tinubu making sure all his niggas eat” dem dey chop your future, you dey speak AAVE.
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They killed Christians in Ondo and Adeboye didn’t sit in front of ringlight then 💔
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Not a single prophecy about lekki massacre, for a nation bankrolling two major gods.
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Even as they age, women still don't get rest.
They are whores when younger and witches when older.
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They say, if someone is threatening you with a weapon and you think they might kill you. Always tell them your full name, if you have children, tell them the names of your children.
The psychology is that before someone takes your life, they have to dehumanise you first.
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*layi uploads a video*
Layians: "Do you notice that anytime layi says it's okay, he looks up. Because ok means up in yoruba, so it's okay, 'it is up'. That's a double enter there and onomatopiea rolled in one..
You guys won't get it. Layi is a genius."
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“Where are you from” he asked a man in the audience.
“Cuba…Cuba”
“Cuba? that’s why you look like a cube” he returns
audience bellow will laughter. He continues. “He said it like he is my Uber, Uber”
I closed Netflix.
Just watched a few minutes of AY special on Netflix. Almost died of cringe.
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If this one is your uncle and your popsy die, you no go see property collect o.
Neymar placed his close friends on salary just so he can always feel the warmth of friendship.
His sister has a cut in any deal he's involved with.
His father takes 30 percent of something in his contract.
Because the money inside football is too much can't you seeee??
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Person go say their papa useless, you wey no sabi am go dey fight to defend him honor. Shey na your papa?
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There is something soulless about nollywood. They put the “act” in acting. They don’t embody characters, they act them out. It’s second hand embarrassment having to see some of these works on a global scale.
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Jss3 is such a weird phase to let kids decide careers. They are not even aware of job market, strength and weakness or academic needs of these career choices.
It’s just science for doctors and Engrs, art for artists and lawyers and commercial for bankers.
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I have a theory about how rewarding social responsibility is a faster way to a sane society than activism or signaling.
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*sees your legs shaking*
"did you just cum before odogwu?"
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better embrace your Edo spirituality, as you can see the god of Isreal is quite busy.
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Anytime I see this guy I remember how his wife gave birth to a boy & he said now I’m finally a father , with his 2 year old daughter standing right there…
You don’t even need to guess the tribe.
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For folks whose gods lay bare in the British museum, Benin people are pretty loud about their juju.
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'Atheist but your name is Paul'
Says the Christian whose surname is Ogundare.
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Wonder how Nigerians cope with diet change when they are travel out.
Cos if I have to go from amala and ewedu to broccoli I fit mad.
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I’d need men to start to date within their financial bracket.
Unless you’re a loser, you can’t tell me you can’t bag a women who can fly you out for dinner on your birthday at that level.
“I cannot buy a birkin bag for a girl and e reach my turn, you are telling me ‘a king is born today’ ”
- Victor Osimhen
🎥
@korty_EO
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"As for me and my family, god will-"
god will not do anything. All of us will buy petrol at the same price per liter, it will touch you and your family. You must be very stupid.
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What’s more intriguing is the death of sub-cultures. The elaborate merriness of Christmas and new year, the gifting when a visitor leaves, kids ability to save part of their pocket money to buy stuff at the end of the term, the quick stops to fast food for meat pies on Sundays.
We are watching our quality of life as Nigerians rapidly reduce;
You were probably able to afford any body spray you wanted, Rexona, Sure, Nivea but now it’s almost 4X the price then you go for the one the one that’s cheaper & maybe of lesser quality, if before, in a whole day
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You’d see “$5M apartment” in lekki and next to it is an unbridled gutter and a kiosk that sells cigarette to construction site workers.
All these flamboyance and look at the chronically underdeveloped background, it’s so sinister and ironic.
Sunusi Lamido Sunusi in his classic convertible Mercedes benz at the entrance of the city of Kano.
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men are afraid for their own safety in a men-only event.
Y'all are aware, you just act dumb.
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Told her I love waist beads, 'aren't you scared of kayamata' she said.
I am atheist baby, the kaya doesn't mata.
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Lagos babes wey dey make ijgb babes sew threads and drop videos.
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If I told you my parents settled a coupes fight around 2am, the origin being that she ate the head of fish before he returned from work and served him the Tail, would you believe?
I keep telling y'all these conversations are NOT about food.
They're about hierarchy, rank ordering and ego, the anger being directed at
1. the designated laborer when she has the audacity to not conform
2. the designated master messing with the order by doing what's not his job
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I agree. And the talking snake is python programming language.
My dad reckons that some of the “chariots of fire” prophets of the Bible foresaw were tanks, trucks, cars and planes. Chariot = vehicle. Fire = exhaust pipe innit
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Least you could do is go through my tweets before you DM me. Now you sent dick pictures, I sent mine, you replied with question marks.
No dey "?????" me weyre, enjoy the view.
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Painful to watch unbelievers succeed cos you don't think they should be able to without god.
Little wonder y'all pray for evil to befall them so they can run back to god.
The pain of watching those who don’t pray succeed
Sometimes it’s difficult to understand.
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Cos this talk is painful and tiring.
Na why niggas wey dey push 40 go dey drag U23 babes online. What’s the buying power of an average U23 in this economy to begin with.
You’d rather complain than date your age mates or folks within your tax bracket Dfkm.
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irrespective of your social awareness as a man there are realities that will always remain beyond your grasp.
This is a good example as well as the lady who wore several jeans when EFCC raided hers.
After speaking with a no. of babes apparently yall were getting proposals already??
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collect my glory through sex???
Lmao, all glory belongs to god dear, bend over.
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@Mytzpk
Nollywood is stuck on call-and-response drama techniques. The characters they embody do not invoke any reaction in your as a viewer. The lines are sloppy and lack any philosophical weight or whims. It’s a lot tbh.
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This islamophobia conversation is very dishonest especially in Nigeria. On one hand, Muslims have instutionalised an Islamic system in the north detrimental to the safety of non-Muslims.
Rejecting salah meat is different from killing people over whatsapp vn.
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I like how you cannot tell if this is Accra or Ketu.
An entire continent riddled with the same problem.
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Need naija artistes to sue that diamond platinumz. Very useless guy.
E be the typa nigga wey go copy your work for school forget change name.
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"oya stand up, stand up. Come dey go."
pulls up his trouser. points at you with a blunt in-between fingers.
"You actually came before odogwu"
"Stand up!"
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@mykael_yuddy
He didn’t even try at all. So embarrassing. And this isn’t even due to previous embarrassment. This is a fresh one.
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"come to Benin and see juju"
Lmao, colonisers, came, saw and conquered.
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I’d do everything to relieve my kids of this burden of faith.
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Atheists boys accepting Jesus as their lord and savior to get some coochie:
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I am an atheist but sometimes I see titties and I'm like "nahh olorun tobi loba gan".
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The way y’all act like this corruption isn’t affecting you makes me laugh. Think pieces and intellectual hogwash when derica of rice is 1k.
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This is why I keep hammering on socialization. Cos there no way hormones or perceived naturality was responsible for the importance a 40+ man places on head of fish.
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“Give her parents peace of mind” because she asked for phone. Wtf man.
You guys tire me out.
lmao me i gained admission & hustled for my first iphone. If she wanna be like me she should focus on giving her parents peace of mind first
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I need irreligious people to be unrealistically optimistic.
listen,
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"You appeared in 20 new searches this week"
So where is the fucking job then???
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Told this babe I am irreligious and it has been one existential question after the other. “So do you truly have peace?” “Does it ever get overwhelming that you wanna scream to god?”
Me? Bunmi? Scream to who?
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I support clearing your parents of the things they did to you when you were younger.
When matters get to it, remind them of how they treated you and see how surprised they get. Anyone who has had that kind of convo with their parents will tell you.
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My coworkers were arguing out a Bible verse yesterday. After several back and forthwith, one said to the other “you need the holy spirit to interpret the Bible it’s not a storybook” and the other replied “was about to tell you the same thing”
Lmao, the way I cackled.
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"Some of the things that happened in 2020 will spill over into 2021"
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It’s only when they talk about LGBTQ+ that you remember your god, the economic issues of your country and your dirty morality.
Not when you’re doing Dorime in the club with strippers sweating all over your 12k shirt from whatsapp vendor.
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Atheists when they realise they're entering God is good motors:
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Every one of you have the same template, from the fundamentalist Muslim, liberal Muslims, Muslim feminists and non-practicing Muslims.
You’d die before accepting that islam is actually the problem.
No be only rights islam give them, na center forward.
Islam has given women the rights, yes but have you men upheld those rights though? That's the question.
You don't want Muslim women to uphold the feministic values to fight for their rights but also you guys won't insist on men to be just. What do you really want from women?
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I have utter disdain for this mentality and I can't hide it.
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis reveal they will donate their $275 million fortune to charity and not leave anything for their children.
They say they don't want their children to become spoiled and entitled, and want them to be motivated to work hard.
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“I no smoke igbo cos me I get sense” is such a funny line from someone who downs 700mg of tramadol.
Bro I use to do drugs back in the days!! In ojo name it!!! Trams ? My highest na 700 milligram!
Skushi’s from ele! 2 big ragolis me and my guys!! Emzolyn I dey pop raw 2 bottles !!! Ref!!! But I no do ice shaaa!! And I no smoke Igbo sha me I get sense !!! Babyfresh picked me up
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90% of pastors are foolish.
The remaining 10% are still just as foolish.
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Imagine growing older and a useless pastor who wants to take over your life tells you your mom is a witch.
Can never be me, you'd say. But you believe a Virgin conceived a baby.
What's small witchcraft you can't accuse your mom of.
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The problem with islamism isn't poverty or illiteracy. It's the ideology in itself.
If you ever schooled in the middle belt or core north, you'd hear your scholars and lecturers who got their "phDs from UK unis" say the most vile and ridiculous things.
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@rash_nerd
This is not limited to oshimen alone. This is a very famous rhetoric on Twitter as well which often rest upon the heterosexual dynamics where the man is usually richer or/and older than the woman.
If you desire reciprocality and/or luxury, go for people who afford you that.
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I read that tweet and despite having one too many brushes with the armed forces/robbers myself, I have never thought about wearing multiple fits to deter rape.
It’s why a lot of conversations surrounding feminism eludes men. Some cannot see the problem less identify with it.
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They never see actions or perceive intentions, only projections of their insecurities and a dire need to mentally control the narrative.
Bloody pessimists who already convinced themselves that something is always wrong, cos they draw peace from the certainty of chaos.
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Bobrisky’s existence is an embodiment of the exploitation of femininity and colorism, echoing patriarchal stereotypes consistently.
If the critiques are indeed valid, then they are only important to pop culture and not to queer or feminist politics in general.
And whether you like it or not, bobrisky is important to pop culture and feminist politics in general.
Most critiques aimed at her is valid, but to act like we should treat her like a pariah, as if her very existence does not raise awareness for trans women and queer ppl is mad
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Bigotry does not usually come violent.
Sometimes it presents as calm voiced Christian trying to justify hate on a sect based off religious inclination.
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There is not a single injunction in Islam regarding women's autonomy that is not tied to sexualization and degeneracy.
Gives insight to what kind of person the founder really is.
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'Mammy water power, powerless power'
Then they spend the next 3 hours praying against marine spirits.
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"if a man rapes a married woman within a town, the woman is put to death alongside the perpetrator of the crime. She is spared only if the rape occurs out in the countryside, where she cannot call out for help"
- Deuteronomy 22:22-23.
Article 12 of the Assyrian Law states:
If a woman is walking down the street and is sexually assaulted
The rapist is arrested and killed, but the woman is not considered guilty and returns to her husband's house
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Career choice is more than I like maths so engineering. I like animals so vet medicine.
Secondary school education should be encompassing. Everyone should take classes across all departments with certain electives, but not entirely compartmentalize their knowledge.
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Sending love to all ex-muslims who have to fast or pretend to for society sake.
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Person say him group dey “emotionally intelligent” una dey cry like kids. Later you’d come cry foul about male suicide statistics forgetting how y’all treat male related issues. Imagine going through heartbreak and your nigga dey clown you. Fucking mental.
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Biodun Fatoyinbo the lead pastor of Coza was a cultist back in Unilorin. He gave his life to Christ and went on to harrass and rape his female members.
Some behaviors are setting stone for a delapitating pattern. Some folks don't change like a nigga making numerous rape jokes.
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Christains trying to encroach secular spaces never cease to amaze me.
Secular go say "baddie", christains go say "Jesus baddie"
Ironically, they are not influencing the world but versa. Secular songs being refixed with gospel lyrics or outrightly sang in churches.
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create original sin, pretend to die for it, send them to hell if they don’t believe that you died for it.
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“Atheist but you’re a beggar” wild gan, cos this person no get divine helper. You dey run after giveaways despite Abraham’s blessings wey be yours.
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Tried my best to rent an apartment in a place void of churches and mosques only for the abandoned primary school opposite my place to be converted to a church two months after moving in.
{Jesus: 1, Bunmi: 0}
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Layi fans don dey move like j.cole stans.
The thing about Layi’s skits is that that they are so deliberate. The multi-layered puns, the references and their contexts!
Eg1 “Dreams are unique”- check his apology to the Dammy babe and Hilda’s tweet.
Eg2. His name is Richard- An irony cos he’s poor. Then Olayiwola.. u get?
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Muslims will enter a cab and mutter bismillah, Christians will sneeze and say god bless you but atheists are the ones making non-belief their personality in a country that is obviously hostile towards them.
Some of you aren't just dishonest, you're also foolish in the process.
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A pastor can say absolute nonsense and the congregation will still jump and shout 'gloraaay!'
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Love the way Nigerians are vehemently attacking this Islamophobia rhetoric.
You don't want to address the terror that a faith has imposed on a people; instead, you want to discuss the fear.
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