𓅯 my name is your name 𓆙
@blleue
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if we're "mutuals", how come you only follow me here on twitter, but I follow you at all times from a distance, always observing and guarding you, even in your dreams and the dreamless gaps of your conscious experience? what's up with that?
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my falcon following spree is being CANCELLED because twitter is woke and hates free speech
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we should start commenting "I liked this" on all the posts we like. honor system
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this is the rule I already live by
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me in the future (at my peak) (living my best life) (10 years from now) (thriving) (in my 40s)
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I have information that could lead to the arrest and imprisonment of Hillary Clinton.
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followed so many falcons today I feel like I should be getting paid for this
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so glad to have found 700 wonderful strangers to disappoint or be ignored by
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@FalconryFinance
just found the original, this is highly concerning. you need to explain this
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get yourself some local crow friends, they WILL watch your back.
mine just freaked the fuck out to warn me of someone slowly walking behind me and looking at me.
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no I'm not gonna throw it out and get a new one; I can still use it just fine
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this book from 1909 is just cat memes and shitposting
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murder your lawn
One of many radicalizing moments in my life was learning that lawns are totally manmade and I was forced to mow that shit, or worse, rake that shit.
gimme dirt or native shrubs, dammit
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keep your army of mongooses trained and battle ready
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the kind of true friendship I'm looking for:
- you leave me the fuck alone
- you never ever leave me alone
- I commit crimes for you in return or whatever
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why is it that I don't wanna do my dishes or tidy my apartment but I would gladly spend 12 hours doing that for someone else
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people who believe in ghosts,
how are you ever able to masturbate?
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can't wait to finally get this boulder to the peak of that mountain
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there's a strange hole in the ground, and it's humming. what does this mean?
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what's keeping you from lying face down in the grass and eating weeds?
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never befriend a crow because all you get is a needy little stalker always being there wherever you look and wherever you don't look, and especially right behind you, and definitely right above you, tilting their head to better observe you with their beady little eyes
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according to nerds at NASA, snakes are so shit at producing oxygen that u won't survive in a sealed room no matter how many snakes u put in it. NASA recommends 15-18 snakes for a 1,800 sq ft home. ensure that your home is completely airtight and locked from outside w/ no way out
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@husbandliker
@fitzbattleax
it' says "being likable" not "being nice".
it rly doesn't matter how nice or non-confrontational you are if you just don't fit in and you act 'wrong' (like with avoiding eye contact, many people read it as lying and untrustworthiness).
they hate you if you're too nice actually.
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everything about this man is extremely concerning
Alright everyone. This is the crucial information. This is the mystery behind the falcon man. This is pretty gripping radio. This is the time to bug your friends, send this shit to them. Force them to listen to it. You got a cab driver? HE'S GONNA LISTEN
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I have done something to displease the spine god. I'm unaware of what my transgression was, but I must suffer and repent regardless
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@weenerskizo_b
I take good care of my brain worms. I keep them vigorous and happy.
with them I never have to be alone
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it reminded me of this webcomic, which apparently was actually too optimistic...
My granny’s funeral was interrupted by ads. The church was piping music from YouTube and were too cheap to buy Premium. It happened eight times.
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@FalconryFinance
we can do what he does except without any of his weird shit, and WITH pizza, donuts and booze for those who want it, and we'll still live longer than those losers
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your youth is for acquiring as much trauma as you can.
the rest of your life is for processing all that trauma, but there's no rule against picking up even more as long as you're still breathing.
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having imaginary conversations with real people. having real conversations with imaginary people. what's the difference really
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@Wrong_Salem_
the more realistic explanation would be that he wants to organize and connect people irl
and the autistic urge to catalogue things
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I am not getting sick. I refuse to get sick. stop that, right now.
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@FalconryFinance
damn, I just got here.
but do what you have to do, and take care of yourself first. giving them fewer opportunities to interact with you and this community might be a good tactic.
I'll be on that e-mail list when you make it
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I've been tired and having headaches, I think I need to punish my body more. make it learn. make it respect me
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why's twitter showing me posts from people who have me blocked? they specifically DO NOT want me to see them
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how come kids these days don't climb up to a high place and stare off into distance for hours like I used to?
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I spilled oat milk everywhere. bad omen? good omen? neutral?
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same
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@AnAngryOpossum
I fuck with it. I want them to recreate all manner of things out of plant matter. I want realistic human corpses made of oats, pea protein and coconut oil, perfect for dinners with extended family. genuinely awesome
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there are massive corvid meetings happening outside! things of profound importance are being decided - the course of all life in the universe; the future, the present, and even the past! is it finally time for corvidkind to take over and lead us all into the light?
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I never pirate games or music or anything; I say a few incantations and the files simply appear on my computer
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can't listen to music on my [portable electronic device] anymore because the birds demand to be heard and I have to do right by them and myself
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(the person wasn't dangerous, just kinda weird. they ended up asking me some questions when I tried to let them pass and the vibes were strange, unnerving even.
although tbh a crow had just warned me so I was a bit on edge...)
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I'll see you at our secret meeting spot
(I can't tell you where cause it's a secret)
(no you won't see me as well)
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the universe is unjust and uncaring.
sorry, I meant the pigeon. the pigeon is unjust and uncaring
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@cataclysam
oh that's funny, I wonder how the hell I found you then. you must've been in the comments somewhere and I just assumed.
it's just a harmless cult, nothing to worry about 🙂
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I love to obsessively spend hours on a project with absolutely no use or value, only to never come back to it again.
ty brain, very functional of you indeed
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@PerfectlyWeird
I bet the cat isn't actually stalking anything, it's just doing the cat equivalent of looking at the phone pretending to be busy in an unbearably awkward situation
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@FalconryFinance
yeah IQ is bogus. except when you get an exceptional score, then it's valid. but this test here is bs for sure
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some of the mongooses are in trouble, but their fellow mongeese do not abandon them. nothing is impossible when mongeeses band together
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"I've definitely phased through walls before, but I can't recall if it was in dreams or reality" - me in a dream
yeah I'm not entirely sure either
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they're gonna make it so that blue checks will see everyone's likes. just you wait
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I just read your mind and I have to say I am very impressed
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@bluelad89420
no comment.
I like you liking my post from two accounts, though. I'm going to expect this from now on
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LIST OF FRIENDS WITH PHYSICAL FORMS:
- my dogs
- the ceiling spider above my bed (new friend but already very close)
- the 2 crows that talk to me (the rest are allies)
- that old man with a walker who can't hear me but always wishes me strength & for good things to come my way
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