varuna ⚓️
@blasphe_eme
Followers
350
Following
202
Media
631
Statuses
14,475
three cucumbers and one (1) banana
he/him, rps, ao3: blaspheme
Joined July 2024
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@loewehaos
me as an idol being forced my management to hand write an apology for live reacting to a fanfic and openly tearing it apart for its poor characterization
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🦊 guys you can't keep talking about aegyo, i'm explaining (the pokemon cards) rn, what should you do when i'm explaining? you should listen. pls listen to what i'm saying *shows pokemon card again*
matthew said stfu and pay attention to his pokemon cards collection lecture 😭
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the jebis really went from “lala zero pop with me” to “decay is an extant form of life. you cannot kill me in a way that matters”
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every jebi has a specific matthew that makes them act absolutely insane. unfortunately for gyuvin, his specific matthew is just matthew all the time
Matthew sleeping to hanbin is what matthew smile in the sunset is to taerae
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it's crazy to me that in all fandom spaces, not just rps, ppl have gotten so weird abt ships only being valid if they're canon/if there's enough "evidence" to prove that it could be real. people used to ship jack frost and elsa because they both had ice powers. it was great.
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i feel like we talk a lot abt how meeting bin changed mttw's life and saved his otherwise disastrous trainee experience, but based on the available evidence, mttw was entered bin's life with a meteoric impact that bin is still sort of reckoning with
my mattbin roman empire is actually bin having this clip of him and matt dancing together /pinned/ on his personal instagram account
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mttw, in english: that gyatt was so skibidi
tr: [dreamy sigh] he has such a way with words
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this is also funny bc when mttw speaks english he’s usually saying shit like “bananas are fun little support guys” or “yooo if i do a fit check you’re gonna see my toes….. and i can’t show those for free” or “do you even know my addy”
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it’s absolutely sickening that hanbin seeks out hao and matthew individually during Here I Am. hao, because this was the song that brought him his soulmate. matthew, because boys planet was the dream that they decided to chase after together. his two most precious people.
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@iwatthew
the whole seok family gathered to watch their prodigal youngest son get naked, do bondage, and flirt with men
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it’s actually supremely funny how mttw and bin will make kissing sounds at each other and talk about sleeping together every night and people On Rps Twitter will still brother-code that behaviour. like cmon man. you’ve already bought tickets to the circus. let it go. clown around
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i have to say i love how mttw debuted with the image of “cute guy who wants to be cool” but then he kept being persistently hot and muscular so now his image is “hot guy who has to do a stupid bit every ten minutes or he’ll die”. and this is all reflected in his styling
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keep it cool (오이가 없네)
🥒 geonmaet
🥒 one-shot, E, 3.5k
🥒 pwp, semi-public sex, oral fixation, bjs
🥒 the gmg cucumber incident of august 2nd, 2024 (there were no survivors)
📎
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thank you checkiam for uploading the whole live on youtube. here’s matthew’s doing an incredible backflip at my request (on his voice only live)
@cupidzhanghao
i spammed “DO A FLIP” (it was a voice only live) and he read it right at the end and made a sound effect and went “i just did one right now. trust me” which was exactly what i wanted him to do
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i would pay real money to watch hanbin try to navigate china on his own with no phone and only his baffling set of known chinese phrases to guide him.
🐹 give me your wallet (in chinese)
And u got hao looking like the proudest teacher ever 😭😭 It’s so obvious who taught hanbin that chinese phrase. He be teaching the most random phrase ever
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i'll get a car to watch the stars with you. come with me to meet my mother. i left the company but i'm not leaving you, take this note, my number, my heart. what do you mean you're going to give up? i won't let you. i found a way for us to debut together. we have to try,
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cool popular guy rik taking Normal Ass Dude Mttw on a date and mttw is horrified as he gradually realizes that rik has NO game
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absolutely 0 survival instinct. you could take him by the hand and lead him directly off of a cliff like a looney toons cartoon and he would just keep smiling that harmless little smile of his
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when your loser band gets an interview at the local tv station bc your choir friend became the anchor there
not xdinary heroes teasing Lily's annyeonghaseyo tone and the "LILY JIN PARK MORROW" 😭
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he’s so used to being idly patted by people that he didn’t think this was for anything in particular
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the answer is me btw
which one of HEATHENS is going to be the one to write the first gmg fic with the tags “exhibitionism” and “inappropriate use of cucumbers”
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what did mttw even Do in the months that they trained together that made bin wholeheartedly believe that mttw--who could barely even speak korean back then--was a star in the making, worth betting everything on. what did bin see that two companies couldn't. it actually haunts me
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don’t like the ongoing “fuck me eyes” theme that’s starting to emerge here. terrified of it actually
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gay prince tr being forced to marry a woman and produce an heir but the “woman” he marries is mttw, a closeted trans man who is absolutely terrified abt being forced to be a wife. but tr is kind and apologetic, saying that he just can’t bed a woman & he’ll take responsibility for
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i’m in a maettael mood right now. there’s smth absolutely insane abt the way tr teasingly feminizes mttw while also so clearly finding him hot when he’s being traditionally masc and buff. and the way that mttw preens no matter what tr’s saying as long as it’s flattering
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it’s so funny when ppl ask mttw abt high school bc every time he’s like “i mean. i was just A Guy”
matthew said his high school life in canada was very routine, like he'd go to school then go to his dad's company and go to the tutor near his dad's company
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he really is a communal fidget toy and he loves it. not even in a sexual way or as a euphemism. he is there to be Held
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hi, hello, ao3 user blaspheme here with my first attempt at a public acct ^^
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there is nothing funnier than the consistent bit where the jebis are doing something absolutely disastrously and you can hear someone in the back go “oh it’s not bad though?”
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literally mttw and any member of the jebis
OK BUT WHAT IF WE DREW OUR SHIPS LIKE THIS….
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he's a canadian gamer who likes anime born in 2002. if he didn't use discord then i'd genuinely be shocked
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wait i’m honing in on the “i heard you went there”. did. did mttw not tell his members directly abt this stuff. did gw hear this from a fan repo. or another member. why is mttw so cagey abt telling ppl abt his life 😭😭😭
🧸: i heard you went there.. medical university
🪽: oh health science
🧸: health science.. you were doing health science but now ure on a world tour
🧸: come here ur face is being cut (out of the screen)
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i don't think enough ppl are talking abt how genuinely chill mttw was when he thought that comment wanted to marry all the jbw members. if rik is the anti-poly then mttw is the poly final boss
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“mttw flirts with everyone on purpose for attention” WRONG! mttw flirts because flirting is silly. the attention is a bonus
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jyungseok accidental sugar daddy au… jw has an adult job while mttw is a college kid who can’t work more than 20 hours a week and it starts as jw covering mttw’s coffee and meals, then he’s inviting mttw out solely to pay for mttw’s food to make sure he eats, and then he’s
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getting a little Peeved at ppl’s continuous characterization of mttw as stupid (unintelligent) when he’s always been stupid (silly, clumsy, and goofy)
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when they film videos in that position and gyuvin would use matthew’s hands to clap and smack his shoulders 💔💔
can that standing position not be permanent i’m sorry call me greedy but it was my source of oxygen seeing gyuvin squeeze matthew in every single photo
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thinking about the current maettael and also abt my fav mttw characterization of “he knows that he’s fun to flirt with and to mess around with, but people seldom want him in a way that matters”, and so he’s made his peace with that, and doesn’t realize that tr’s feelings are Real
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JBW WRITERS I NEED YALL TO LOCK IN AND GET THIS GUY FUCKED. PLEASE
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TWENTY YEAR OLD yudai koga, the fastest runner of his entire prefecture, full time training alongside future olympians, telling his parents that he watched one (1) video of bts performing and he wanted to drop everything and go to korea and become an idol. i would’ve beat his ass
I think it’s so funny when idols have some background in whatever sport, a sport they’ve dedicated their whole life to, some even get to a competitive level but suddenly one day they wake up and announce they now want to become idols, as a parent I would be LIVID
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fic writers (myself included): stop convincing readers to avoid your fic. stop saying that your summaries suck, dont ramble about your lack of skill in the tags, don’t undermine your own efforts with sarcasm and self-deprecation. be brazen, that’s how you get their attention.
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suddenly realized that for neul, a known bl fan who screams whenever his members do anything gay near him, he must fucking LOVEEEEE the ongoing geonmaet development
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i genuinely think that bnb Not dating is the funniest possible outcome bc like if that’s true then what the fuck is neul talking about Ever
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gmg and jyungseok fans have been fighting on my tl for weeks now meanwhile they’re doing. whatever the fuck you wanna call this
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gw getting more emotional than mttw makes me wanna punch a wall like fuckkkkkk this guy is just 19 and he can’t fathom moving so far from home the way globalz (but esp mtthw) have and whenever he’s confronted with that reality he tears up IMMEDIATELY
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the thing is that fuma is incredibly fast within the realm of human comprehension, but kei starts running and its like he activates motors in his legs. he IMMEDIATELY got like half a lap ahead of everyone
K was like the secret bomb for people there, cuz they all saw how fast Fuma was but didn't know about final boss K😭
#andTEAM
#andTEAM_K
#앤팀 #케이
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this isn’t to rain on anyone’s parade but whenever i see neul give the most out of pocket answer at a fansign i like to imagine that he’s lying for fun to prompt even wilder fic
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so yoo jitae is playing the role of a storyteller/writer and the jebis are the protagonists of his romance stories. he’s trying to bring their story to an end, the natural end that all stories meet, but the boys are in defiance of their narrative and the script
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whenever mttw uses "they" to describe fans or like his hypothetical dates or lovers i get so happy.... thank u mttw for representing us Gender Freaks
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the photographer said “break for ten!” but he heard “beg for men!” and well he sure delivered
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heyyyyyyy look what i haveeeeeeeee
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hey so if you send messages like this to literally any creative then you should be hit over the head with a baseball back 👍🏽
Your art is very good you should draw something else than maetbin I have to pretend your drawings are ocs because maetbin i… — i’m sorry u don’t see the best friends to lovers potential the same way i do!! i’ll keep drawing them just for u anon, i bel…
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happy accidents
🪽 rikgyub
🪽 chapter 1/2, 5.6k
🪽 breeding kink and bottom gyub as god intended
🪽 gyub experiences an insane 24 hours
📎
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this is really fucking with me bc it's the fundamentals of their love in the purest form. mtw just says it whenever he thinks it, it's as natural as breathing. tr can't just say it, and so it builds and grows and coalesces into something massive and explosively burning
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Fraying Strings of Fate
✰ Dungeons and Dragons AU
✰ binneul, gyubrik, geonmaet, & jyungtael
✰ ongoing multichapter
✰ action, adventure, humour, found family, and saving the world
📎 Chapter 1 (10.3k):
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all 3 of these are mttw
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it’s crazy bc mttw’s hair was only that sandy blond for a couple of months but my mental perception of him is still that. like it looked so natural on him
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you can tell that zeroses is a fandom full of newer kpop fans bc no one understands how ulting works
zerosetwt would’ve been so much better if we all stop having the mindset that our bias is hated by everyone in the fandom bc this is not boys planet anymore they’ve been a group for more than a year and ppl can be an ot9 while having a member-centric acc
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see the thing is that from my perspective, 2023 started off as a very normal year for kpop, and then the boys planet finale happened, and everything has been genuinely fucking insane ever since. i think that haobin distorted the timeline by getting married
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psychic tr who’s always been able to read ppl’s thoughts and keeps ppl at a distance bc of it (he knows how terrible people really are) and then he meets mttw, who only has the sweetest thoughts. of course, tr thinks that it’s some sort of trick and refuses to believe it’s true.
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“rps makes idols uncomfortable!!” changbin on his birthday live in front of thousands of fans:
💬: leeknow has been flirting a lot with hyunjin these days
🐖🐇: but flirting won't get you anywhere. hyunjin is not easy, leeknow hyung! you can't compete with me seriously... if i really set my mind and seduce him, hyunjin wouldn't be able to handle it.
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sorry the really funny thing abt the way that gw gets jealous whenever jyungseok do something together is that gw never reacts like that for tr. he actually seems to be thrilled whenever tr and mttw start being gay together
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do you think matthew’s highschool friends see his full time job of wearing pokemon headbands and acting cute and text him telling him to go fuck himself
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here’s the thing i have no allegiance to any particular ship. im a freelancer. im a wildcard. i’m a rogue. if its gay as hell then its gay as hell. nothin else to it. takes a long drag of my cigar
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even as someone who isn’t particularly affected by the bnb pill or in tune with that sphere i have to say that these guys are acting absolutely deranged
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his round little head and the way his smile takes up 40% of his face im in shambles
MATTHEW IS SO CUTE TRYING TO GREET THE FANS BEFORE HE GO 😭
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@loewehaos
this is the part that's killing me the most like they just took a little stroll, slutted themselves out, and then came back. just a little sidequest
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MTTW WE GOT BAD BITCHES DOING YOUR STUPID CHALLENGE
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i think that we have to stop calling this "mistreatment" and start calling it an Labour Exploitation. because that's what it is. wakeone reaps the profit of zb1's physical and emotional labour without proper care or recompense. this is a worker's rights issue
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woke up from a doze feeling kind of dizzy and wrote this. i can only conceptualise hb povs that are full of dread
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trans mttw starting testosterone and he doesn’t end up growing a lot of hair but he gets a bit of a happy trail and he’s so thrilled that he starts wearing crop tops all the time, which is Very Bad for his friends’ overall health
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todays jbw rps hot take of the day is that a lot of you like the ships more than you like the members that you’re shipping lol
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the comments i get on my jbw fic are always like "omggggg the filthhhhhh this saved me <3 <3 <3" while the comments i get on my &t fic are like "excellent work comrade. your literary works integral to the War Effort. our numbers grow daily. keep fighting the good fight"
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okay sorry to op for using this as a jumping point for this conversation but the jbw rps community is literally the ONLY rps space i've ever been in where ppl have a sense of superiority bc of the subjective "realness" of their fav ship. like, anon, this is fucking pathetic.
sungseok literally had a proposal moment but sure jyungseok is still real ig🤣 — yeah? and i'm literally at sungseok's wedding reception rn and where are you? um
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@fruitsodafic
me but it’s less about top or bottom and more about “stuttering bitchless loser”
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proposed zbtv content: every member gets a brick and are told that they have a 2 hour time limit. they are given no further instructions. we then watch the resulting chaos
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like yeah. he sure is
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lesbian mttl going clubbing but tael’s heels start to really hurt her feet so mttw makes them change shoes so it’s just this femme with ribbons in her hair wearing these ugly stompers while her jacked as hell butch gf is grinning and staggering around in dagger heels
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i’m sobbing they’re slutting out my fucking fox for mv views
UM GUYS HAVE YOU SEEN WAKEONE SPONSORING ZB1 POOL PICS TO BRING PEOPLE IN SHDHDH
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i’m gonna throw up i’m OBSESSED with the position that mttw has in the trailer. impassive, cold, cruel director. an observer to the events, only there to document what occurs. no stakes in either side of this story. his only desire is to capture the way it plays out
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the thing is that even if mttw is oomf i don’t think he’d be that mad abt being government assigned bottom omega i think he’d just be like “woahhhh dang :O i never thought about that”
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seokrik fic where they’re already dating but rik tells mttw that it’s not a joke and he actually Really Would Like To See More Boys Kissing and so mttw goes on a mission to make out with as many members as he can for rik’s sake
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pause wait. het t4t neulmaet, trans fem neul & trans masc maet. can anyone hear me
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