Miles 🐺
@blacksmoke1033
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Full time artist with squidgy chickens / SHOP: (He/Him) Pfp by @ResidentBishie
Nottingham, England
Joined September 2014
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📌I’m M! I’m an artist, I design enamel pins and other bits, and working on my first comic ‘The Strange Case’📌
I love chickens and squids!
🦑STORE:
🐙PATREON:
🐦TIPS:
🐺RB:
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This cretin has been dropping sticks down our chimney for weeks and today he finally accidentally dropped himself, this is the face of someone who knows they’ve been HAD
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She faceplanted into a muddy puddle once so I kinda had to
if you wash your chicken you actually need to be shot. there’s no point.
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I was looking at uranium glass online and messaged a seller like ‘hey can you show a pic of it glowing under UV light so I see it’s not just green glass’ and she was like ‘it glows?’ so I said ‘yes? the uranium is what makes it fluoresce’ and she was like ‘IT’S ACTUAL URANIUM?’
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So every con I do, I put out a notice that I love cash. Any cash. And I’m happy to accept any currency. It’s funny. Well. Here’s how that went
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This buffoon’s extended family still sit on my chimney pot and stick their heads in and call me names and I stick my head in the fireplace and do the same. We’re all doing well.
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THE LETTUCE JUST WON????? THE LETTUCE JUST WON
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I hear you’re interested in giant round chickens, may I show you Lady Henitrescu
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Babs is going broody which means she’s turning into a big stupid ball noo
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This little criminal just got caught and he looks so offended?
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I think she thought uranium glass was just a fun name for it bc of the colour and she seems horrified and said ‘OH I DEF DON’T WANT IT DO YOU WANT IT’ like YES WOMAN THAT IS WHY WE’RE MESSAGING
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Here’s some disgruntled pics - don’t worry, he was well enough to scream and bite us and he flew away just fine! He’s off to tell his mates about alien abduction
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Bird info:
- it’s a jackdaw
- they’ve been trying to build nests in our chimney but we light the fire constantly so can’t let them!
- there’s a few ‘regulars’ around here and we feed them all well, they’re greedy
- we’re not mad, just disappointed
- I still love him very much
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The neighbour from two doors away shouted ‘I can hear your chickens are they okay’ and it was because I decided to eat a sandwich outside and they all started being unreasonable
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Okay I know I said no pics bc people are scared of legs but I am happy to report Slow Jim is no longer depressed
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For data people this was:
11 fake currencies (sealife coins, cushions, edible cash, cushions etc)
A staggering 23 real accepted currencies (euro, USD, Korean won, Vietnamese Dong)
8 old / out of circulation currencies (pre euro stuff, including money from the 1700s)
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Since we’re talking about it here’s the 3 pieces I have and if any experts in late 1880s slate clocks are present, my dad got that a few weeks ago, is that a uranium glaze on the dial too? If so, do you know why they bothered putting uranium in a clear glaze?
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Yeehaw
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If you set up a bird feeder for long enough you don’t just learn to expect specific birds, you also witness all the complex bird drama and get to text your friends that Great Tit No2 is back and is still being a massive twat
Being an adult is about acknowledging that bird watching is actually pretty sick and holy shit look at all these little guys
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This was the only time in her life that Anna behaved, I think the whole experience with the floor bath was too much for her tiny pea brain
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Of for what it’s worth I’m not a genuine coin collector. Like I don’t buy it, or know much besides basic info. I’m just magpie brained and it’s hilarious to dump all this on my counter and say I made 30k at the furry convention but not in what currency
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Fuck seeing all other artists as ‘competition’ I want myself and ALL my hard working artist friends to be happy and healthy and be successful in doing what they love, we’d all get further supporting each other and my business won’t suffer because I shared a few tips and tricks
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Artist culture is being constantly told not to undercharge or undervalue yourself but also constantly being afraid of charging what you want for fear of backlash from half the community and/or starvation from sudden lack of demand
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Special shout-out to whoever gave me the edible notes (I was eating them all con as I didn’t get lunch), and the handful of bugs.
THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO CAME ALONG AND DID THIS AAAAAA
(AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REAL GBP MONEY TOO)
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Look at this PEN I got!!! It's silver but it dries down to a perfect mirror finish, look at the reflection of the nib on the surface!
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I know he’s hard to see but there’s a robin sat on the greenhouse spike. Like a little cocktail sausage
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As you can see, my blueberry bushes are covered in a fine net to deter birds from eating them
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I went outside to sit in the sunlight and Amelia said ‘yes me too’ so we are loafing together
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Ok well plug post I guess:
I have a huge raven related project that isn’t publicly announced (not something I’ve ever done!) and I’m mad you can’t all see it yet. Also I’m an artist and report the local wildlife shenanigans constantly if you stick around. And I made this too 🙂
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Hey, if a friend upsets you, tell them how/why? They can't avoid doing it again or apologise if it's not obvious to them what they did in the first place. Some issues can be resolved so painlessly with 10 minutes you know
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Lots of people asked if I’ve given them a name and so far it’s crossed between Mister Meaner and Edgar Allan Foe
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Sometimes improvement doesn’t show as ‘oh the art looks better now’, sometimes it’s the same quality but in 1/5th of the time, caused way less stress, a more adventurous colour or angle, don’t feel bad monitoring progress; not all change is visual
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I come bearing gifts
when a bird is fat ….. like a FAT round little guy…… oh god, I’m over the moon about that
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@StickSponge
Tbh it’s super rare in England compared to America, I had no idea what it was until quite recently and now all I want is a cabinet full of it with mounted UV lights 😩
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I’m not anti vegan by any means but it does make me laugh if I get a weirdly negative comment about eating eggs from mmmmmmyy own chickens? They’re just rolling around? For free? What you want me to do? Put them back in??
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Oh ‘doin numbers’ tweet, I have four giant Buff Orpingtons and their full names are:
Pollo Grande, or Amelia
Lady Henitrescu, or Anna
El Gighente, or Amber
Babs (Babs)
And I’m a full time artist so obviously I make chicken stuff
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I’m seeing a lot of QRTs/comments because people found their currency, and well over half of them are celebrating the Argentinian pesos, I see you and I’m super happy I finally have one too 😆
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We took it seriously at the time. I’m just happy it wasn’t hurt. The few photos I rush took for art reference just made him look like such a criminal caught in the act. I adore the local wildlife and while some comments have been uh, violent, I appreciate any genuine concern!
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The ‘furries are degenerate basement dwelling scum’ angle is always wild to me because since becoming one I’ve met more successful, mild mannered individuals holding respectable skilled jobs - surgeons, astrophysicists, historians, than any other community
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I just found this reversible werewolf plush and I’m losing it a little bit
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Shoutout to whoever gave me this sticker it looks just like her
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Just some extra notes:
- we know about chimney guards now, just never had this happen before to need one!
- it was let go almost immediately, within 2 or 3 minutes. We handled it ONLY to check it wasn’t injured after the fall, as gently as possible.
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You should buy from small businesses like me cus when you buy from Amazon Jeff Bezos’ phone doesn’t ping and he doesn’t girlishly kick his feet and gigglingly say ‘heehee heehee pizza money yayyy’
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Anna likes to hide under chairs and peck your bum and pretend she didn’t
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@BetwixtBetweenn
I think buying it here roughly falls into:
- doesn’t know, cheap
- knows, makes a big deal out of it, £60
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Don’t want to be without bird snacks when I go to London so I am carrying around this little coin purse filled with luxury racing pigeon seed
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Pls 🥺
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There she is!!!
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I just wanna clarify I don’t share a lot of pics of Slow Jim not just because people are like, generally afraid of bugs, just because every time I do I get a dozen comments about stamping on him or torching him and there’s only so much of that I can read in a week y’know
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@sapparax
That’s one of the fake souvenir coins from Sealife but the most similar real coin I’ve seen is this WWF 50p so you might find this in your change one day!
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I'm pleased to report nothing fell down the chimney this morning, but the hedgehog kept me awake for an hour last night checking by clanging the empty food dish up and down like some indignant bar patron after being denied service
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I just?? Found a gun on my floor??? Is a gnat trying to assassinate me???
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Someone buy this buff dragon table thing for me, just look at him
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@deltalirious
Sometimes people in charity shops see me quickly scan a shelf with my light and ask what I’m doing and they get so scared at the thought of anything testing positive haha
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Just opened the corn bucket and OH AM I INTERRUPTING SOMETHING?
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The funniest part of this is; this was only 5 days ago, the lettuce barely changed, this, this literally wasn’t even remotely a close call
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Did I let everyone know that they always, ALWAYS nest in my neighbour’s chimney and have done since as long as I live? And she blocked it off this year?
Well they figured out how to get in and we’re not telling her 😌 yes lads
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I’m always amazed at how similar cockatoo and squid beaks are, for two wildly different creatures in nearly other other way
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Since we’re all talking about saving the arts, reminder that basically all conventions and sales events were cancelled this year, it’s looking similar next year, they were a massive chunk of small artist’s incomes and most vocal support fizzled out like 4 weeks into lockdown
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@bivtown
Yes quite safe! Unless you’re idk, carrying a piece pressed to your skin 24/7 it’s totally fine
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A dog just interrupted our picnic and we’re all mutually delighted
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Idk biggest but these ones causing pushback were the funniest
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Nobody told me Babs had a part time job at the Natural History Museum as one of the exhibits
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My social media assistant responding to all the spam messages I’ve received this week (wishing she had real Spam)
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If Babs ever gets a big piece of food she knows if she stops moving or puts it down to eat she’ll get rugby tackled, so she panics around the garden wailing
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I’ve got a throat infection and I’m trying to rot outside and my daughter keeps demanding to know if I’m alive so I can dispense corn
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My giant millipede Slow Jim loves cucumber. So I gave him a slice of my neighbour’s home grown cucumber. I will have to tell her that he tried it, physically pushed it away, span around his tank until he found a sad piece of old shop cucumber under a leaf and ate that instead
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