Brooke Rogers 🪐
@bkerogers
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Statuses
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editor. “knows the weirdest things.” views are mine, and I keep them in a little cabinet in my house.
Queens, NY
Joined October 2012
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I won’t retweet the video of the man in Kenosha being shot 7 times by police, but I want to say: Noncompliance with police orders does not warrant a death sentence. The fact that there are people who think otherwise is proof that our concept of policing is diseased.
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we used to make things in this country
Sen. Steve Daines: “Twenty years ago in Montana, meth was homemade. It was homegrown. And you had purity levels less than 30%. Today the meth that is getting into Montana is Mexican cartel.”
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There should just be a button you can hit to buy Monica Lewinsky a drink every time her name appears in a headline.
Bill Clinton: Monica Lewinsky affair was to 'manage my anxieties'
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Me, a basic millennial hiding under the bed:
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber: Comin’ outta my cage
Me: AND I’VE BEEN DOING JUST FINE
Me, aging femme planning her commune hiding under the bed:
Armed robber:
Me:
Armed robber: Thank you for being a friend
Me: TRAVELED DOWN A ROAD AND BACK AGAIN well damn
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Adding this to cover my response to litany of bad replies here:
Police have non-lethal tools & methods available to them. We’re told police are introduced to a situation in order to deescalate. Where was the deescalation?
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This is still true and people are still mad about me for pointing it out
Grown men on Twitter whenever Greta Thunberg breathes:
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Police have non-lethal tools & methods available to them. We’re told police are introduced to a situation in order to deescalate. Where was the deescalation?
@bkerogers
You’re the cop in this situation. You know there’s a gun in that car. What do you do differently?
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The obsession with comparing Trump to Jesus and King David and saying he was "sent by God" should be called out for what it is: absolute oatmeal-brained fanaticism that deserves to be mocked.
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every guy in this video looks like he’s missing a custody hearing for this.
Owning the libs by losing all your money to fines you could easily avoid
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Ghislaine Maxwell is one of the reasons I can’t stand comments like: “if women ruled the world, we wouldn’t have wars” or “if we put a woman in charge of xyz, this bad thing wouldn’t have happened.” Men don’t have the market cornered on evil.
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Imagine earnestly typing out the words "Chick Fil A betrayed us" lmao
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Puffin isn’t allowed to watch Game of Thrones cause it’s rated R, and he’s only 7.
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How do single dudes survive with, like, one pillow, no top sheet, a graphic fleece blanket they bought at a thrift store in 2003? I need to know.
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so sorry to bring this up so early but I don’t think most people realize that the 2024 Republican primaries are going to be like: Marjorie Taylor Greene, Ted Cruz, Matt Gaetz, a Trump son, the MyPillow guy and one wet blanket centrist that they’ll all take turns yelling at.
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qualified immunity was a concept invented by the supreme court in 1982. it’s a modern idea. to argue that police can’t do their jobs without it, when they were getting along just fine before they were given special protection that exempted them from accountability, is ridiculous.
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politicians invoking the “silent majority” has big “my girlfriend, who lives in Canada” energy
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I don’t know what I’m talking about but $2,000 seems really cheap for a tiger.
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I don’t tweet about politics as much as I used to because — please don’t take this the wrong way — this is a baby website full of babies.
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the venn diagram of people who will adamantly defend your right to own a firearm to defend yourself against state tyranny and the people who think you should be shot dead for moving a limb when interacting with police isn’t quite a circle but it’s far too close for my liking
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While you dummies were stocking up on Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer, I bought all of the Annie’s Mac & Cheese on sale. You losers! See you in two weeks, you mac-and-cheeseless chumps.
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Grown men on Twitter whenever Greta Thunberg breathes:
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You could not parody this example of the press/authorities treating sex workers like the lesser dead.
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I don’t want to hear “peaceful protesting is fine but...” from you today if you called athletes kneeling to condemn police brutality “un-American” in 2018.
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I want to see a Venn diagram of people who worry that President Trump would refuse to leave office if he lost the election and people who support Mike Bloomberg, who engineered a change in New York City law so he could serve a third term.
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Everyone knew. EVERYONE KNEW.
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the state stole a third of this man’s life and now you can walk into a boutique and buy designer weed from 25-year-olds whose parents work for J.P. Morgan.
Richard DeLisi is a free man after serving 31 years of a 90-year sentence for selling marijuana. DeLisi was believed to be the longest-serving nonviolent cannabis prisoner, according to the The Last Prisoner Project which championed his release.
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so the debt ceiling is really the “I’m only going to have two beers tonight” of laws, huh
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My theory about why everyone thinks Keanu Reeves is hot right now is that he seems like the kind of guy who would get into a fight to defend your honor but also, like, knows how to load a dishwasher well.
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Ted Kennedy drove his car off the bridge, left Mary Jo Kopechne in the water to die, &, instead of calling the police/an ambulance, went back to the party and told his friends. He didn't report it to police until the next day.
Then Ted was re-elected to the Senate 7 more times.
50 years ago today, Sen. Edward M. Kennedy left a party on Chappaquiddick Island near Martha's Vineyard with Mary Jo Kopechne, 28; some time later, Kennedy's car went off a bridge into the water. Kennedy was able to escape, but Kopechne drowned.
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@thetomzone
the little pub they’re at when they meet Aragorn is actually a Buffalo Wild Wings
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Stop giving Roman Polanski awards, you creepazoids.
Roman Polanski's “An Officer and a Spy” took home the Venice Film Festival's Grand Jury Prize
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sorry in advance for being earnest on this app but I am so tired of young people completely running themselves ragged worrying about the fate of this country and the world while older generations play chicken with our futures.
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I maintain that this is incredibly punk for a kid to do.
WATCH: Teen activist Greta Thunberg arrives in New York Harbor after sailing across the Atlantic in a zero-emissions yacht
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If Tulsi is upset about Kamala’s authoritarianism just wait until she finds out about Assad.
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The officers who shot Breonna Taylor haven’t even been fired.
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Glad there’s always one person who’s willing to suspend all disbelief in order to defend a cop who’s threatening a citizen with extrajudicial execution for no reason.
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Day 6 of quarantine: I’m going to be disciplined and use the extra time at home to get super fit.
Day 67 of quarantine, eating peanut butter out of a bowl: My body is a concept. I float between planes of existence. I am an eternal traveler and my physical shell is but a vessel.
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Last night, I told my tween niece what nobody told me:
If you fill up on unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks for dinner and then just take the entree home for lunch the next day, it's like a free meal. No one will stop you. Think of the savings.
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This much khaki in one place sets off my fight or flight response
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your boyfriend shoots one CNN hit from your apartment and suddenly your bookshelf is getting roasted by room rater
We do love our brick walls. Art. Objects. Excessive horizontal book stacking. Exceeds 25% ratio horiz to vertical. 7/10
@calebecarma
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Something we’re learning right now is how many people actually had a come-to-Jesus moment about Bill Clinton’s history of sexual misconduct and how many were just willing to acknowledge it because he wasn’t politically useful anymore.
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rich people have discovered wearing things more than once.
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she earned her spot on the team through her skill, and she should stay there. let’s leave forced performative patriotism to the totalitarians.
Sen. Tom Cotton wants Gwen Berry off US Olympic team over anthem protest
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I’ve talked about how society did
@MonicaLewinsky
wrong and how Lewinsky rose above it for a long time. I got the chance to write about it for
@dcexaminer
. Here’s the resulting piece, which you can find online & in print. I hope you’ll read:
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Babies are amazing: Don’t care about social norms. Don’t care about money. No gods, no masters. Will cry in public. Babies are the only true punks left.
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hundreds of 16-year-old TikTokers made funnier content about this situation in under an hour with no budget.
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Avoiding people I know when I’m grocery shopping in my hometown.
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I was already feeling bad about having to leave and then I look up and this kid is *lying on my shoe*.
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Just remembered I had a crush on a guy in high school who used to announce his arrival by gesturing to the group and saying, “I see the assassins have failed.”
This is another thing I would tell my therapist if I had one.
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In 2018, I tried to treat my chronic insomnia with melatonin. For 8 months, I had frequent, vivid, terrifying nightmares. This was nothing compared to CATS.
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i’m turning 25 today, and you know what that means: my wet cement brain has set. the impressionable smoothie that is my frontal cortex has finished forming. this is officially as good as it’s going to get.
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I think Americans significantly underestimate how much the ordinary British person hates Americans.
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My five-year plan:
1. Move to the woods
2. Befriend the bats and possums
3. Become their queen
4. Create an army
5. Be a beloved ruler who the local children respect and fear.
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When the group chat is having a serious discussion, and I’m just waiting for them to finish so I can send a funny tweet.
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"What if we could eat candles?" - the guy who invented Jelly Beans.
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I think something missing from the debate on student debt is that expecting people to choose what they want to do for the rest of their lives and then take out massive loans to facilitate that at 18-years-old is insane.
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No one:
Hieronymus Bosch:
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In honor of International Women’s Day, a humble proposition: stop using the word “girlboss” forever.
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Today I briefly scoffed at how delusional Harvey Weinstein must be to believe everyone should just overlook his sexual abuse bc he's a big-shot producer, & then I remembered most people he knew did exactly that. He's just expecting the same treatment Hollywood gave him for years.
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I took
just a
D
N
A
T e S t
t u r n z o u t
i'm
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never going to see a cent of Social Security benefits
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I don’t understand why we do this.
The episodes have reportedly been "re-edited in such a manner that removes any appearances by Loughlin"
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This made me sick. A pregnant mom should not be told she’s going to get a “f*cking cap in [her] head” by a civil servant because she’s terrified and not getting out of her car with her baby. This cop was looking for a reason to escalate and should have never been in uniform.
Dravon Ames, his pregnant fiancée, Iesha Harper, and their children went to a Dollar Store where their 4-year-old picked up a $5 doll on the way out. The store never reported it but a witness called the cops. Police tracked down the car, followed them and threatened to kill them.
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Oh, yeah. I’m sure creating a federal database of people with mental illness won’t be misused by the government at all.
Democrats should come together with one clear message on gun safety.
The federal gov't must:
1) Outlaw assault weapons and high-capacity magazines
2) Create a mental health database
3) Pass universal background checks
4) Pass a Red Flag Law
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hmm that’s not how that works
A teen who organized a Black Lives Matter rally in her northern New Jersey town said she has been sent a $2,500 bill from the mayor “for the police overtime caused by your protest.”
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“You can’t tell me when that man had his knee on my brother’s neck, taking his life away with his hand in his pocket, that that smirk on his face didn’t say: ‘I’m protected.’”
Stephen Jackson with just about the most powerful words I’ve ever heard
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So they ruined the final season of GOT for no reason.
‘Star Wars’ Setback: ‘Game Of Thrones’ Duo David Benioff & D.B. Weiss Exit Trilogy
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SOMEONE STOLE HIS BAG WHILE HE WAS HELPING A 5-YEAR-OLD OUT FROM UNDER A TRAIN.
Antonio Love, one of the Good Samaritans who rescued the little girl, had his bag stolen while he went on the tracks to help. He has some seriously good New York karma coming his way.
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The Bible says marriage is between a man and a woman and Marla Maples.
Mayor Buttigieg says he’s a gay Christian. As a Christian I believe the Bible which defines homosexuality as sin, something to be repentant of, not something to be flaunted, praised or politicized. The Bible says marriage is between a man & a woman—not two men, not two women. 2/3
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the piece claiming the teen daughter of a politician has “come out” because a TikTok of hers went viral, but then mentions that she specifically said she hasn’t come out to her dad yet and made the account private, feels a lot more like outing her than reporting on her coming out
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This is what happens when the local theater bans you from performing your one-man show entitled: "Is the Friendzone Terrorism?"
Oh my god. The protester has a fake
@PeteButtigieg
whipping Jesus on a cross. I have no words.
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My friends and I all dressed up as dogs to see CATS and a woman just walked by us in our costumes and said, “good luck, guys. You’re so brave.”
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the way weirdos on here bond to career politicians is so dystopian and lame go adopt a dog or something
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Even now, our coverage of Mary Jo Kopechne’s death is so sanitized. We call it “the Chappaquiddick incident” and not “the time Ted Kennedy left a woman at the bottom of a lake.” Because god forbid someone besmirch the good name of a Kennedy.
Ok, I’m done.
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“Innocent people don’t plead guilty.” have no time for people who don’t understand predatory plea bargaining.
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This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. FN is losing a real one.
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I’ve decided against joining a dating app and instead have attached three riddles to 100 very small birds. Please be advised that they bite. I don’t know how as they do not have teeth but I am aware that asking questions makes them bite harder.
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┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
╱╱╭╮╲╲house
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
defend and support
Monica Lewinsky
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
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