Benji Aflalo
@benjiaflalo
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Following
552
Media
499
Statuses
5,746
comedian. emmy winning writer. Fat Benji Podcast on YouTube Apple Spotify
California, USA
Joined November 2009
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ميلان
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النصر
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الاهلي
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نابولي
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Rogan
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Southport
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Valencia
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#DANA
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Wikipedia
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SÃO PAULO TOMORROW
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رونالدو
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Teri Garr
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ESCUTE RESPIRA RELAXA
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Adrián
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كاس الملك
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PARABENS ZE LOVE
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Colts
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Richardson
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Conte
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Brenda
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#GHLímite8
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Mac mini
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القصيم
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Young Frankenstein
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Concord
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#NationalCatDay
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Cindy
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كريستيانو
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Leao
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#KohLanta
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#MilanNapoli
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内政干渉
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Also a pic of girls paying rent in LA
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Friendship isn’t a brand you’re supposed to just hang out without filming each other I’m pretty sure
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Stevie Ryan is no longer with us. I love her very deeply and I regret every moment I didn't spend with her.
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The Astros racially taunted Dodgers pitching while using cameras to steal their signs. There’s no way the entire Astros team didn’t know and it’s a disgrace to our national pastime. If MLB does nothing I will give up on the sport all together and become a Mets fan.
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A van covered in bernie stickers just let me and three other cars merge
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Question for people who move to LA and complain: All 4 million people suck? Are you sure it’s not you? Couldn’t be. Dumb question. My bad. Tell me more about your amazing hometown and family that you abandoned
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MMA fighters who do stand up comedy and hot girls who just learned to kinda skateboard are the most respected people in america
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I just saw a range rover cut off another range rover and it was nice to know they don’t respect each other either
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Yesterday you were in love w abortions and today it’s all about moms. Pick a lane
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Comedy gives back raised around 400k last night. If you’re an out of work comedian you can apply for a grant by going to this link. $500 grants are being offered rapidly!
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I will forever be fascinated by people who developed a new group of friends in their 30s
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Brody used to warm up the audience before they even sat down. That's how much he cared.
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Pretty much I smoke weed all day and then serve up friends and family with low energy FaceTimes
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Social anxiety tip: nobody cares as much as you. Even if they think you’re stupid and you suck they’ve since moved on into a different egotistical rabbit hole. Move on also.
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Just another friendly reminder that you’re not a model and that your insta is embarrassing
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California has made the picture on the left illegal and the picture on the right business as usual. Both recent photos.
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I headlined a comedy club for the first time in my life tonight. Thank you
@CarolinesonBway
for giving me this opportunity. I’m a huge comedy dork. I love jokes. I love comedians. So appreciative to everyone who has been part of this 13 year journey ♥️
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Pretty crazy that our country had no preparation for a pandemic and the internet responds by asking 22 year olds to be more responsible
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Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce
Only one month until the Super Bowl!!!!! Which songs do you want to hear on my set list?! ✨❤️
#SuperBowlLIV
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Brody used to always bring up how I helped him move and I would get insecure cuz I wanted to be known as a comic not someone who helped comics move.
Just had a nice little podcast w/my comedy pal & Burn (Comedy Central) scribe
@benjiaflalo
. He's helped me move twice too!
#goodGuy
#FoF
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I think the key to karaoke is you wanna do a good job without it being painfully obvious that you have a fine arts degree
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I’m starting to think hollywood producers are in it for the wrong reasons
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My best advice to a young person starting out in comedy is that you’re very dumb go easy on yourself
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Some millennials are in their late 30s...adjust your hack jokes to gen z you bitter old confused dummy
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Grateful for
@AloneTogether
fans, Rick Ross’s health and that’s it. See ya in season 2 ✌🏼
#AloneTogether
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About once a week I tweet something really dark and then immediately delete it 🤗
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It's becoming clearer as time goes on that life is definitely meaningless. -my dad while eating a pb and j this afternoon
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it's insane how unpopular the music i like is. it's almost like i'm in high school with no personality so i gotta like weird stuff to feel anything at all but i'm not in high school i'm an adult
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Shout out to people who break up with someone and don’t make every tweet a subtle jab on the one who gave up on them
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If you’re gonna do something sad with $6 I recommend a Marie Callender’s pie over a little caesers pizza
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Just thought you should all know who the fuck you’re dealing
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if you're struggling with mental illness get off social media dumb dumb it's bad for you. these articles come out like once a week. everyone knows. when you tweet about your depression it's like having an aa meeting at a liquor store
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Don’t forget that mlk quote you’re sharing today when you’re fighting over nonsense with strangers on the internet tomorrow 😘
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Let’s talk about being in your 30s and dressing up for Halloween 10 days before it starts: you need to be more private about your very very sad life
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I’m starting to think the people I originally met at a laundromat open mic have some demons
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Vote for the rapist I’m voting for. Vote for the other rapist and you’re dead to me you idiot 🇺🇸
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Real love is when they start worshipping Satan and you’re like awwwww cute
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What is 20,000 million also lol
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If you want to know more about suicide there's a very informative and sad book called Night Falls Fast. I'm sure nobody wants to hear this but hotlines aren't effective, according to the book.
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Brody was a tough laugh. He LOVED impressionists! He loved baseball. He loved Andrew Dice Clay. He helped young comedians. He thought a lot of you were fake. Sorry that's negative.
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I don’t often get recognized but when I do it’s a guy who wants to shake my hand in the men’s bathroom
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If you spend six figures on a wedding ring she doesn’t love you not even a little
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Stream 4 episodes from season 2 on
@hulu
right now!
the first four episodes of
#alonetogether
are available NOW on
@hulu
! the rest of the episodes will be available on august 1st. now get to bingeing.
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A Rolex used to mean you were successful now it means you’re strapped
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Make the same mistakes. You’ll be different each time and the same mistake will have a fun new twist
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if you dont have a plan b where you move to portland and fall in love with a tattoo person and eat snacks we have nothing in common
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I just saved a joint I forgot outside from getting rained on and my first thought was wow I’d be a great dad
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Just saw people walk out of an AA meeting in Halloween costumes it was peak anonymous
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A PhD in psychology could probably diagnose with me something or a regular person can just watch me eat french fries
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I got photographed today by someone writing an article about fashion at Erewhon. I was wearing pajamas and she told me I dress like kanye 🤔
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I love creative people. I don’t like people who treat defamation like journalism or justice. It isn’t either. Taking is not a form of giving. Losers get off on tearing down a winner because if there is no winner you don’t have to be sad/anxious about why you suck at stuff
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Just cuz ur feelings are hurt doesn’t mean you gotta retaliate
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Sometimes I see people from high school around town and I pretend like I don’t know them so no I haven’t gone to a reunion
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I think the loneliest act is responding to a comedian’s joke on twitter
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All 10 episodes of season 2 of
@AloneTogether
are up on
@hulu
and
@FreeformTV
. Hugs and kisses to
@EbenR
and
@littleesther
for creating the show.
#AloneTogether
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I'm grateful that I 'got it'. I'm grateful that he was my friend. I love you Brody.
#PositivePush
#PrinceOfPeriscope
#magnets
#combinationskin
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The pride of Rockford!
@natashaleggero
YH EXCLUSIVE: So obsessed with
@natashaleggero
tbh 💫 She's set to guest star on Season 2 of
@FreeformTV
's
@AloneTogether
, and we've got all the details:
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When I was 19 I was bit by a penguin at the Hilton Hawaiian Village in Honolulu. I was drunk, snuck into their habitat and tried to pet one 🐧
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@IngrahamAngle
You can tell these babies are from Alabama cuz there aren’t any parents around😘
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You didn’t get ghosted you got dumped stop changing the words of things so you feel less pathetic
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In my pursuit of comedy I was rejected by every place but The Comedy Store. I’m so grateful that Mitzi made a place that gave me time to figure myself out. Comedy is hard I would’ve quit without the store.
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Just saw an elderly woman grabbing orange chicken with her bare hand at the hot food bar at bristol farms. I wanted to taddle but as I stared at her glazed and saucy palm I realized this was of another world and I decided to let it go
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Every guy in a fancy car is accused of having a small penis. Just let the guy enjoy something if his dick is small and if it’s not then what then
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I have undiagnosed food allergies and it’s hurting the people around me
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I got a moving violation for going 2 mph on the sidewalk w an electric scooter in LA. I’m in Austin and everyone is drunk popping wheelies and the cops are super chill
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Maybe I am guy alone at a karaoke bar full of regulars. Maybe everyone is pretty accepting. Maybe this is my life now.
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A stranger can have my address to deliver me food or drive me home but outside of that I don't trust anybody
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If you weren’t within 30 feet of gay sex last night you didn’t really support gay pride
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Season 2 of
@AloneTogether
comes out tomorrow. If you don’t watch I’ll have to take this babe to Carmax.
#AloneTogether
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If my phone still can't trust my computer what chance do I have with anyone?
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