Stuart Ashen
@ashens
Followers
106,465
Following
578
Media
4,112
Statuses
33,736
Comedy bloke. Acting chap. Review fella. Book gent. Script dude. YouTube vermin. New horror film coming soon!
Norwich, UK
Joined January 2009
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Pinned Tweet
I've been making YouTube videos for almost 18 years. Time to try something I've dreamt of since even before then. Announcing: Our new horror film, Turn Back.
Give it a look - all clicks appreciated!
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In case you didn’t know, there is a Screwball Scramble “Level 2” and it CONNECTS TO THE FIRST ONE
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WARNING: This image can cause crippling nostalgia in British people of a certain age
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Bad news: My oldest friend made me a chess table that glows in the dark, but he didn’t make you one
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Holy shit - for the first time ever, this may actually be the exact same type
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My YouTube channel will be 15 years old around 6pm tomorrow. I may hit half a billion views tomorrow too. Blimey.
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Fuck
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Please remember that a Baby Yoda is not a suitable Christmas gift. They require a lot of looking after and if left unattended may choke MMA fighters. And they may be cute now, but in a few hundred years they’ll grow up to speak object-subject-verb and be in horrible prequels.
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Having your work inexplicably downgraded by a mathematical algorithm is bad enough on YouTube, let alone for your fucking A-levels
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ERROR ERROR
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Please heed the words of Chef Excellence in these troubled times
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The Ashens channel is 16 years old today. It can now legally apply for its own passport, drive a moped, and buy Premium bonds!
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Apparently if I press this button someone will bring Play-Doh to my house. This is not the future I expected
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Thanks guys x
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Are you OK Funko designers? Blink twice quickly if you need help
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Bad news - this year's advent calendar videos with
@DanNerdCubed
have not been cancelled and will be uploaded each day as usual. Our apologies.
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To confirm - it's PoundWORLD that's in trouble, not PoundLAND. Poundland will live in glory for another 500 years.
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Not guilty
Apologies if you're eating right now 🤮
The
@norwichfoodbank
has received a donation of a tin of fish that was more than three decades out of date:
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Just realised the only video of mine in ages that YouTube hasn’t automatically limited ad-wise features Poundland viagra and me saying my dick fell off
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Ashens on YouTube has now hit over 1.5 million subscribers. That's more than the populations of Estonia and the Channel Islands combined!
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@thetomska
@YouTube
It’s like playing a sport where half the rules are secret and constantly changing. Another 5 years and it’ll be Calvinball
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"Although your video has now had 95% of the views it will ever get, so you will get no money for it whatsoever!"
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Please note this important update about the release of Ashens and the Polybius Heist.
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Train news: the gap between seats is now so small I physically cannot fit my legs in
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Reasons to watch the Polybius Heist teaser:
1.
@bobbyllew
(Red Dwarf's Kryten) wears a hat made out of lightbulbs.
2. Myself,
@DanNerdCubed
and
@elisnoid
model some of the worst jumpers ever seen.
3.
@MrBarryLewis
FINALLY makes his cinematic debut!
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Further proof that
@Poundland
are magic - I needed 32 pens for a thing tomorrow, and they sell EXACTLY 32 pens for £1.
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Paint colours are getting increasingly bizarre. Who has a room specifically for sulking?
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An important message from the Commodore 64's Dancing Monster
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This message got cut off at exactly the right point to give me a minor heart attack when I caught it out of the corner of my eye
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Just found out a 9-year-old video of mine is trending on Reddit. AHEAD OF THE CURVE BY NEARLY A DECADE.
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I've put together these Twitch emotes so far. Anything else you'd like to see?
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To honour the 30th anniversary of the Game Boy I shall be playing it as Satan intended
@gamesyouloved
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Ashens and the Quest for the GameChild will be back on YouTube very soon. Uploaded version will be an 18GB file used for the Blu-Ray with improved colour grade, sound mix and some extra scenes.
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It's 7 years to the day since we released Ashens and the Quest for the GameChild. And we'll be carrying out the Polybius Heist well before the year is out.
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Polybius Heist just won Best British Feature at the London Independent Film Awards, which is pretty damn splendid
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THIS IS THE NEWS
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Just hit 1.4 million subscribers on YT. That's the combined populations of Estonia and the Seychelles! (Not exclusively)
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