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@artisanclark

Followers
2,601
Following
660
Media
905
Statuses
6,259

carpenter, attention to detail payer, fitness partaker, lake life enjoyer

MINNESOTA
Joined November 2014
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
8 months
Whatever first time ever hitting 405x8 I’m proud of it
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
7 months
Dude. No question
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@dsiroker
Dan Siroker
7 months
What are the best examples of boring technology that work exceptionally well and aren’t overhyped?
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@artisanclark
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27 days
Re ~*~ Tweet
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@artisanclark
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2 years
“yeah, three tickets for Barbie, please”
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@artisanclark
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3 months
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@artisanclark
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4 months
@sanpellyenjoyer Killing myself unironically
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@artisanclark
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2 years
I fucking hate this website so much
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@artisanclark
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3 years
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@artisanclark
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8 months
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Voice physiognomy. Hand physiognomy neck physiognomy shoulder to waist ratio physiognomy. It’s so real and true and important. Gait physiognomy. VO₂ max physiognomy. Nightstand physiognomy. Lumbar. Tire pressure. It’s so freakin real and true man
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
I’m COMING OVER U Better Not be making sand balls‼️ My unruly ass:
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
I will begin posting tradepilled chillymode winter outfits for men to wear
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Twitter users suddenly agreeing with my posts once either landshark or a pretty girl interacts with them
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
If I had a gf this is what I would feed her once a day at 3pm
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Imagine being so enveloped in your late stage faux hyper-masculinity internet persona that you think knocking people who are literally inside a gym is a good look
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Glad fall is here now I can really start dressin
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
9 months
The Christmas decorations have fallen. I knocked them over.
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Yes “my guy” + you’re gay + you have a mask on in your avi >he thought that was an own >he doesn’t know about the spiritual and physical health benefits of frozen za
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@SibriWilliam
Sibrinho 🇪🇨🇺🇸
2 years
@artisanclark @dburner84 @MaciejZM @MikeBradleyMKE You eat frozen pizza my guy 😂😂😭😭😭
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Not eating in the morning gives you super powers. Ackshually, ancestral doctrine says humans aren’t designed to nourish themselves every 2-3 hours — wat if unsuccessful hunt hmm? It’s a psyop by Big Breakfast to keep your energy levels low. The most optimal time for e
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@MasculineTheory
Masculine Theory
2 years
Not eating in the morning gives you super powers.
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Women love when you smell a little bit bad or like cedar or chemicals or diesel or like you’ve been on fire recently
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@artisanclark
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3 years
>featherless >bipedal THIS IS A MAN
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
3 years
I was about to complain about how my headphones just died at the gym but I know some fucker on here would be like “you constantly overload your senses, bombarding your chakras with auditory stimulation you must cleanse your psyche to devote all your energy without being dependen
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 year
Hey man, if you wanna throw on the hockey gloves and box it out Minnesota Nice style over your slander all you gotta do is say so. Might send you on your way with an elite hotdish recipe or a kwiktrip coupon. Pat on the back with a “take er easy, safe travels” even. Cold pop if y
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@Empty_America
VB Knives
1 year
Yeah, I would say I find upper-Midwesterners to be the most different of all native born citizens. There is often something about them that just isn't "American" as I understand it. Often seem less American than many 2nd generation immigrants.
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@artisanclark
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7 months
@grecian_the The elusive little red guy you rarely ever need
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@artisanclark
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3 years
How is this allowed lmao these kids are gonna go into cardiac arrest
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
🚨quadlet cope🚨 shorty shorts stay on until the snow flies cryptard‼️
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@antoniogm
Antonio García Martínez (agm.eth)
2 years
Friday’s hot take: no grown man should ever wear shorts outside of sport or exercise.
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
4 months
I’m crying bro STOP THIS AT ONCE
@Catshealdeprsn
Cats That Heal Your Depression
4 months
If you get a wet toothbrush and pet a cat it, it supposedly reminds them getting clean by their mother
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@artisanclark
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2 years
If I don’t hit this incline bench im killing myself
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@artisanclark
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2 years
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@artisanclark
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2 years
Gm, dudes rock
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@artisanclark
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2 years
Ducks go so hard when it’s time to eat. I love watching ducks do anything
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
3 years
Selling one of my well-worn-in carhartt jackets to some urbanite cultural appropriator valor stealer for $5000
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
3 years
I made this because you were all too afraid to
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
3 years
Made concrete dumbbells in my apartment garage and almost got @evicted over it
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@artisanclark
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1 year
ideal day: 3-8am stare into the vacuum of nonexistence 8-8:01am deep work 8:01-3am headbutt the ground at 47bpm
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@artisanclark
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2 years
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 year
“I actually had to chill on carries because my traps were getting too big and causing issues LOL”
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@FracSlap
Collin McLelland 🏴‍☠️
1 year
@Gaetano_BCE3 I actually had to chill on carries because my traps were getting too big and causing issues lol. I’ve actually never maxed on deadlift so I’m not sure.
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 months
“this hobby is weird” ⬇️ literal coolest thing ever
@girdley
Michael Girdley
2 months
Today, I learned that a subculture spends $100,000's building giant personal speedboats and racing at 90mph+ around midwestern lakes. (If you think your hobby is weird, someone is always doing something weirder.)
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
8 months
Oh my gosh honey, look — ANOTHER walkout rambler with a huge bonus room on significant property. Disgusting! And they chose siding that only has a 50 year warranty?! Tasteless impracticality on full display. Let’s get back to the high rise, the suburbs make me sick :-/
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
9 months
I laugh so hard every time I look at this lmao
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 months
AMERICANA
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@artisanclark
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2 years
m-mr. … mrs. … uhh I mean mr. … mrs. slobbertits abomination c-can you help me w the tablesaw
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@RamboJohnJ22
Rambo, John J
2 years
This is a high school shop teacher. for real. @lporiginalg
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@artisanclark
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3 years
Driving home from gym with brain on autopilot >eat banan, throw peel out the window >chug shake, throw blender bottle out the window
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
3 years
Everything okay? you’ve barely touched your glass of mountain dilk
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@artisanclark
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1 year
Shit is now poppin/bussin/returned to its former glory
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@artisanclark
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1 year
Tore a sad, tired, weeping front porch off of an old shack today
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@artisanclark
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7 months
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Yeah no i really hit it off with this girl, but her kneecap physiognomy was just all over the place. Surely we are mentally and spiritually incompatible. A ticking patellar tendinitis timebomb, it would be over for my sons before they were even born
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
When she comes home from girls night off 11 Tito’s sodas lookin to get the white polish sucked off her tootsies
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
3 years
I bet guys groupchats are disgusting
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@artisanclark
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1 year
Same dude who said chicken and rice is “empty calorie junkfood” if you accumulate enough despicable takes you get suspended
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Unless you’re very comfortable wrenching on your shit nearly every weekend this is absolutely terrible advice lmao
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@artisanclark
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1 year
Tried the whole ~5am workout~ gimmick today expecting to feel stellar and energized afterwards and it turns out it sucks complete ass and I’m so sleepie
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 year
This is about as cool as you can look
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@Listen2UrMind
Ghost
1 year
This is about as cool as you can look
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 year
“actually I just want my whole backyard to be a patio, can you do that?” Idk dog here’s my quote I’ll try my best
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@artisanclark
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1 year
Cheesed to be able to do things like this on the side
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@artisanclark
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25 days
@MDMA_Enjoyer Shut up nerd
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@artisanclark
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3 years
Would you hire this mf yes or no
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@artisanclark
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3 years
Sidejob Saturday rolls on
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@artisanclark
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7 months
@ergelgru My man knows his fasteners
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@artisanclark
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3 years
Shop quoted me $2100 for some front suspension work I quoted myself a couple whiskeys and and afternoon wrenching with the old man
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
3 months
I have been using unimaginably hateful rhetoric on your platform for nearly 20 years
@Halo
Halo
3 months
🌈 Happy Pride Month 🌈 Embrace love, diversity, and inclusion by equipping the Unity ‘24 armor coating, nameplate, and emblem in Halo Infinite this June. Let's stand together in honoring our LGBTQIA+ community and forging a future of unity and acceptance for all. #Pride2024
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2 years
@GoodsCapital Because it looks good. What’s up your ass lmao
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Good morning welcome to the aviary. Let me know if yuo have any questions
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2 years
Lock me in a dark padded room for 96 hours and I couldn’t come up with something half this profoundly gay and cringe
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@artisanclark
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2 years
What’s his problem
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2 years
My tolerance for gym antics is so low lately man if you’re in a stringer and don’t look like 2018 calum von moger I’m mean mugging you and hiding your shoes
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 year
How are there so many braindead takes on the attractiveness of these women? Just like dudes love to say they “don’t lift weights to impress women” these are fucking world class athletes lmfao they aren’t competing in high level cronusfit for a beach body you retard
@CrossFitGames
The CrossFit Games
1 year
The fittest women in the East region are heading into Test 1 to kick off the 2023 NOBULL CrossFit Games Semifinal, presented by @roguefitness . Tune in to the podcast
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🆑ᴀʀᴋ
29 days
What the fuck man this is so blatantly intentional, .50 BMG firing squad
@unlimited_ls
Unlimited L's
1 month
NEW: Trucker who drove on the wrong side of a Nevada highway, killing three motorcyclists, has been sentenced to 4-10 years in prison LClaude Rafiki, 29, an African immigrant caused a crash on March 23 that killed Owen Hart, 22, Athena Taylor, 21, and Jeremy Gebo, 44 Hart's
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
10 months
This tiny animal makes me so happy man
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🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
@RodneyB09393423 @SnowBellesHell Why do you look like that
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 year
He say helloeur
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
7 months
@Zippy1488 That little t-top thing on those is genius. They countersink clean as hell too
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
You can eat as many pickles and fruit as you want every single day. That’s honestly so sick
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
4 months
If I smell your stupid fucking weed in public im talking shit to you instantly, I hate that they made it legal here
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
3 years
Cardio so easy when you got an inner monologue in ya ear telling you you’re a piece of shit
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 year
We don’t countersignal treats here, brown kid
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
7 months
@raresteamedhams I’d say it has other than like drywall or decorative
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
10 months
Look at this sweet gal I was blessed with today
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
They don’t know im sizing everyone up. They don’t know I’ve got hands and that I’m comfortable using them no matter who I’m up against They don’t know nobody can tell me what to do unless theyre willing to either die or kill me to make me comply That's just the way i move
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@Rock_TheDon
Rock
2 years
Walking into a room and sizing everyone up, knowing you've got hands and you are comfortable using them no matter who you're up against. Knowing nobody can tell you what to do unless they are willing to either die or kill you to make you comply That's just the way we move
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
27 days
I’m eating all of it who gives a shit
@RykerClothing
Ryker | Polyester-Free Activewear
28 days
One of the funniest contradictions in the fitness industry.
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
7 months
@VelvetPimpson I mean this isn’t 2003 ordering shit online is extremely easy, and how often are you needing to use a screwdriver on an xbox controller
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 month
Really nice stuff
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Broke: omgg I’m going on vacation in a month I must lose 15 pounds quickly and unhealthily murdering my metabolism and thyroid Woke: vacation? sweet I’m going to keep eating everything in sight and stay strong and healthy because it’s fun and good and cool
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
3 years
We’re so back
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2 years
@MaciejZM @MikeBradleyMKE You sound vaccinated bro
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
People who just jump in the whip and leave when it’s below freezing without letting it warm up, windshield all frosty, etc lead a life of chaos and disarray that I could never comprehend
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
11 months
Colors going outrageous this year
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🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
🅼🅰🆁🅸🅾 told me to hold down his place as Mexican Guy in his absence .
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🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
@Azhdaya__ He said
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🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 year
A guy at a dealership will look you in the face and tell you that a 7 year old denali HD with 120k miles is worth sixty five thousand dollars
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
4 months
I come over the stretching area at the gym and bust out the illegally modded jigsaw percussion massage gun wyd?
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 year
My blue collar friends and I are posting midwest tradescore aesthetics are you upset?
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
A woman just asked me if I was almost done with the leg extension machine and i promptly yanked my hoodie drawstrings tight around my face and scurried away without saying anything. It’s all yours, I’m not ending up on your viral gymbunny tiktok
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 year
I love this thing. We could’ve built a goofy ass LED television ball in every state in America with the money we’ve sent to yookraine that would be so much cooler
@LasVegasLocally
Las Vegas Locally 🌴
1 year
This is by far the best version of the Sphere Thingy (🎥 @ohcdee )
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🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Sorry man I can’t hear you over the sound of me having a blast on this thang + L + you can’t take your money with you + live a little
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🆑ᴀʀᴋ
3 months
Gotta say I’m one of the best at finding and befriending Little Guys
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
11 days
It’s Friday act accordingly
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🆑ᴀʀᴋ
2 years
Women be claiming to know everything … what’s this then. What is it
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🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 month
Imagine looking at this beautiful ribeye and thinking “hmm yes I’m going to eat it raw and slimy and cold and then performatively boast online about how I’m benefitting from an extra 0.0000001% of nutrient bioavailability that is lost during searing” get the fuck out of here!!!!!
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🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 year
Going to keep updating this even though nobody asked lol (7:30pm on a sunday) alright let’s start the weekend!!!!! Miniature garage door and a bench to wrap around the tree coming soon
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@artisanclark
🆑ᴀʀᴋ
1 year
“actually I just want my whole backyard to be a patio, can you do that?” Idk dog here’s my quote I’ll try my best
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🆑ᴀʀᴋ
10 months
If I learn one more piece of information about this absolute ghoul against my will I’m going to hunt him down and reverse-reverse-age him into the soil faster than you can say Merry Christmas
@MailOnline
Daily Mail Online
10 months
Millionaire biohacker Bryan Johnson, 46, claims he has reverse-aged his PENIS by 15 years
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