🆑ᴀʀᴋ
@artisanclark
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carpenter, attention to detail payer, fitness partaker, lake life enjoyer
MINNESOTA
Joined November 2014
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Pinned Tweet
Whatever first time ever hitting 405x8 I’m proud of it
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Dude. No question
What are the best examples of boring technology that work exceptionally well and aren’t overhyped?
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Voice physiognomy. Hand physiognomy neck physiognomy shoulder to waist ratio physiognomy. It’s so real and true and important. Gait physiognomy. VO₂ max physiognomy. Nightstand physiognomy. Lumbar. Tire pressure. It’s so freakin real and true man
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I’m COMING OVER U Better Not be making sand balls‼️
My unruly ass:
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I will begin posting tradepilled chillymode winter outfits for men to wear
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Twitter users suddenly agreeing with my posts once either landshark or a pretty girl interacts with them
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Imagine being so enveloped in your late stage faux hyper-masculinity internet persona that you think knocking people who are literally inside a gym is a good look
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Yes “my guy” + you’re gay + you have a mask on in your avi
>he thought that was an own
>he doesn’t know about the spiritual and physical health benefits of frozen za
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Not eating in the morning gives you super powers. Ackshually, ancestral doctrine says humans aren’t designed to nourish themselves every 2-3 hours — wat if unsuccessful hunt hmm? It’s a psyop by Big Breakfast to keep your energy levels low. The most optimal time for e
Not eating in the morning gives you super powers.
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Women love when you smell a little bit bad or like cedar or chemicals or diesel or like you’ve been on fire recently
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I was about to complain about how my headphones just died at the gym but I know some fucker on here would be like
“you constantly overload your senses, bombarding your chakras with auditory stimulation you must cleanse your psyche to devote all your energy without being dependen
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Hey man, if you wanna throw on the hockey gloves and box it out Minnesota Nice style over your slander all you gotta do is say so. Might send you on your way with an elite hotdish recipe or a kwiktrip coupon. Pat on the back with a “take er easy, safe travels” even. Cold pop if y
Yeah, I would say I find upper-Midwesterners to be the most different of all native born citizens.
There is often something about them that just isn't "American" as I understand it.
Often seem less American than many 2nd generation immigrants.
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How is this allowed lmao these kids are gonna go into cardiac arrest
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🚨quadlet cope🚨 shorty shorts stay on until the snow flies cryptard‼️
Friday’s hot take: no grown man should ever wear shorts outside of sport or exercise.
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I’m crying bro STOP THIS AT ONCE
If you get a wet toothbrush and pet a cat it, it supposedly reminds them getting clean by their mother
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Ducks go so hard when it’s time to eat. I love watching ducks do anything
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Selling one of my well-worn-in carhartt jackets to some urbanite cultural appropriator valor stealer for $5000
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ideal day:
3-8am stare into the vacuum of nonexistence
8-8:01am deep work
8:01-3am headbutt the ground at 47bpm
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“I actually had to chill on carries because my traps were getting too big and causing issues LOL”
@Gaetano_BCE3
I actually had to chill on carries because my traps were getting too big and causing issues lol.
I’ve actually never maxed on deadlift so I’m not sure.
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“this hobby is weird”
⬇️ literal coolest thing ever
Today, I learned that a subculture spends $100,000's building giant personal speedboats and racing at 90mph+ around midwestern lakes.
(If you think your hobby is weird, someone is always doing something weirder.)
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Oh my gosh honey, look — ANOTHER walkout rambler with a huge bonus room on significant property. Disgusting! And they chose siding that only has a 50 year warranty?! Tasteless impracticality on full display. Let’s get back to the high rise, the suburbs make me sick :-/
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m-mr. … mrs. … uhh I mean mr. … mrs. slobbertits abomination c-can you help me w the tablesaw
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Driving home from gym with brain on autopilot
>eat banan, throw peel out the window
>chug shake, throw blender bottle out the window
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Everything okay? you’ve barely touched your glass of mountain dilk
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Shit is now poppin/bussin/returned to its former glory
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Yeah no i really hit it off with this girl, but her kneecap physiognomy was just all over the place. Surely we are mentally and spiritually incompatible. A ticking patellar tendinitis timebomb, it would be over for my sons before they were even born
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When she comes home from girls night off 11 Tito’s sodas lookin to get the white polish sucked off her tootsies
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Same dude who said chicken and rice is “empty calorie junkfood” if you accumulate enough despicable takes you get suspended
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Unless you’re very comfortable wrenching on your shit nearly every weekend this is absolutely terrible advice lmao
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Tried the whole ~5am workout~ gimmick today expecting to feel stellar and energized afterwards and it turns out it sucks complete ass and I’m so sleepie
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This is about as cool as you can look
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“actually I just want my whole backyard to be a patio, can you do that?”
Idk dog here’s my quote I’ll try my best
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Would you hire this mf yes or no
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Shop quoted me $2100 for some front suspension work
I quoted myself a couple whiskeys and and afternoon wrenching with the old man
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I have been using unimaginably hateful rhetoric on your platform for nearly 20 years
🌈 Happy Pride Month 🌈
Embrace love, diversity, and inclusion by equipping the Unity ‘24 armor coating, nameplate, and emblem in Halo Infinite this June.
Let's stand together in honoring our LGBTQIA+ community and forging a future of unity and acceptance for all.
#Pride2024
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Good morning welcome to the aviary. Let me know if yuo have any questions
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Lock me in a dark padded room for 96 hours and I couldn’t come up with something half this profoundly gay and cringe
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My tolerance for gym antics is so low lately man if you’re in a stringer and don’t look like 2018 calum von moger I’m mean mugging you and hiding your shoes
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How are there so many braindead takes on the attractiveness of these women? Just like dudes love to say they “don’t lift weights to impress women” these are fucking world class athletes lmfao they aren’t competing in high level cronusfit for a beach body you retard
The fittest women in the East region are heading into Test 1 to kick off the 2023 NOBULL CrossFit Games Semifinal, presented by
@roguefitness
.
Tune in to the podcast
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What the fuck man this is so blatantly intentional, .50 BMG firing squad
NEW: Trucker who drove on the wrong side of a Nevada highway, killing three motorcyclists, has been sentenced to 4-10 years in prison
LClaude Rafiki, 29, an African immigrant caused a crash on March 23 that killed Owen Hart, 22, Athena Taylor, 21, and Jeremy Gebo, 44
Hart's
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You can eat as many pickles and fruit as you want every single day. That’s honestly so sick
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If I smell your stupid fucking weed in public im talking shit to you instantly, I hate that they made it legal here
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Cardio so easy when you got an inner monologue in ya ear telling you you’re a piece of shit
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They don’t know im sizing everyone up. They don’t know I’ve got hands and that I’m comfortable using them no matter who I’m up against
They don’t know nobody can tell me what to do unless theyre willing to either die or kill me to make me comply
That's just the way i move
Walking into a room and sizing everyone up, knowing you've got hands and you are comfortable using them no matter who you're up against.
Knowing nobody can tell you what to do unless they are willing to either die or kill you to make you comply
That's just the way we move
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I’m eating all of it who gives a shit
One of the funniest contradictions in the fitness industry.
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@VelvetPimpson
I mean this isn’t 2003 ordering shit online is extremely easy, and how often are you needing to use a screwdriver on an xbox controller
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Broke: omgg I’m going on vacation in a month I must lose 15 pounds quickly and unhealthily murdering my metabolism and thyroid
Woke: vacation? sweet I’m going to keep eating everything in sight and stay strong and healthy because it’s fun and good and cool
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People who just jump in the whip and leave when it’s below freezing without letting it warm up, windshield all frosty, etc lead a life of chaos and disarray that I could never comprehend
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🅼🅰🆁🅸🅾 told me to hold down his place as Mexican Guy in his absence .
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A guy at a dealership will look you in the face and tell you that a 7 year old denali HD with 120k miles is worth sixty five thousand dollars
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I come over the stretching area at the gym and bust out the illegally modded jigsaw percussion massage gun wyd?
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My blue collar friends and I are posting midwest tradescore aesthetics are you upset?
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A woman just asked me if I was almost done with the leg extension machine and i promptly yanked my hoodie drawstrings tight around my face and scurried away without saying anything. It’s all yours, I’m not ending up on your viral gymbunny tiktok
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I love this thing. We could’ve built a goofy ass LED television ball in every state in America with the money we’ve sent to yookraine that would be so much cooler
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Sorry man I can’t hear you over the sound of me having a blast on this thang + L + you can’t take your money with you + live a little
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Gotta say I’m one of the best at finding and befriending Little Guys
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Women be claiming to know everything … what’s this then. What is it
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Imagine looking at this beautiful ribeye and thinking “hmm yes I’m going to eat it raw and slimy and cold and then performatively boast online about how I’m benefitting from an extra 0.0000001% of nutrient bioavailability that is lost during searing” get the fuck out of here!!!!!
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Going to keep updating this even though nobody asked lol (7:30pm on a sunday) alright let’s start the weekend!!!!!
Miniature garage door and a bench to wrap around the tree coming soon
“actually I just want my whole backyard to be a patio, can you do that?”
Idk dog here’s my quote I’ll try my best
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If I learn one more piece of information about this absolute ghoul against my will I’m going to hunt him down and reverse-reverse-age him into the soil faster than you can say Merry Christmas
Millionaire biohacker Bryan Johnson, 46, claims he has reverse-aged his PENIS by 15 years
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