don't call me by my full name
@all_betz_off_
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Pinned Tweet
"To the superficial observer, it will appear like madness."
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No one gets married thinking things will end in divorce. This week marks 6yrs for me and I gotta say - life on this side has been so much sweeter than I could have envisioned.
Trust your gut.❤️
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They really should put a disclaimer on my profile
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it's been a looong time since ive done a solo hike, let alone a 7+hr one. and to top it off, i didn't see another human until 3.5hrs in (two fishermen at the other side of the lake), and i didn't see anyone on the trail until 4.5hrs in on my descent.
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was reminded me of that one time an unknown woman grabbed my shoulder at a peak during the NYE'19 encore to yell into my ear, "I think I'm gonna orgasm!" as if it were a surprise to herself. this was then followed shortly after by her screaming to the sky "OH MY GOD IM CUMMING"
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nitrous mafia man, after making eye contact and doing a double take: "hey *becons me over* i just want to say you are so incredibly beautiful. what's your name? take you out on a proper date?
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the vibe ☀️
cheeseman park is such a vibe on an 80* day
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accepted a job offer today as a medical administrative assistant for a small internal family medicine practice locally here in denver
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The best thing I ever did was get divorced.
If you know in your heart that you're settling, hold yourself and your partner accountable to reality. Gtfo and live the life of your dreams.
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@zzbenz
asked for hot/confident/sexy/fun/etc and I thought of this one. Sometimes it's as simple as getting the mail after a long day out.
Happy early birthday babe 😘
#thottythursday
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got some cool pics of my boobs this morning
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alcohol really did enable me to make choices that changed me into the worst version of myself. there are plenty of good memories, sure but idk. that cost looks too damn high in today's hindsight. i lost a lot of who i was and what i believed in.
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2022 show stats are in!
80 days/nights of music
13 states
2 countries
- a PR of 26.5 umphrey's shows 🤯
thank you thank you THANK YOU to each of you & your crews this year. i cant imagine having navigated this wild ride of a year without being on your dancefloor 💚
2021 stat prelims -
54 days/nights of music
13 states
2 countries
Leaders of the Year:
Umph coming in HOTT at 15
Frasco saving New Years with 6
big shout-out to all the side projects & sit-ins
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To say we're having fun would an understatement
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As much as I miss my family right now, I am incredibly excited to spend the next 108hrs doing whatever the fuck I want A L O N E
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"this is the happiest and healthiest ive seen you in a really long time"
the first thing he said to me yesterday. bestie really knows 💚 it's a challenge for me to remember the last time i felt this good.
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If you can't remember the last time you had a shower beer, you're overdue for another
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junie and i are going to have so much fun next week
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Someday I'll be able to break some balls and yell at the boys for cheating AGAIN
#thottythursday
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baby's first pair 🥲
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and with two negatives, we are on our way to Sante Fe to meet some artsy fartsy aliens 👽
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big happy birthday to one of the best tour buddies, copilots, roomies, and diner buddies
@Gregrock
!! i hope you had the best kind of greg day!! 🎉
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If you want sobriety, your real friends will respect your wishes and encourage it when you're looking into the face of temptation.
Anyone else is an enabler trapped in their own addiction, not wanting to be the only one left using. Misery loves company, right?
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Prolly not a good idea to float this weekend..
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If you find yourself in my DMs, do us both a favor and give your balls a tug first.
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if anyone wants to know how app dating is going
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Just found these in an old purse... 2yrs feels like a lifetime 😭
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1000 words
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Listen, anyone that can take a magnum schlong to pounded straight into the ole fart box is a goddamn champion. You hear me?!? And hey - maybe someday I too will have a big beautiful gaping asshole.
I'm just not going to stretch my asshole for more underwhelming dick.
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The Elvis lip made lots of appearances this weekend
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I apologize in advance if I recognize and holler @ you this weekend. I am very excited to finally meet the um twitter fam
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she's only ever really known work from home :(
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got caught 'mirin Three Sisters on yesterday's hike
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I am finally home and survived my first successful backpacking trip!
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man sitting on the steps of the YMCA: "hey! that's a beautiful shirt!"
me: *smiles and waves*
[less than 10s later]
man driving by in a car: *makes eye contact, smiles and shouts* that's a beautiful shirt!!
the shirt:
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big shout out to
@Gregrock
- an A++ tour roomie, diner buddy, and all around genuine human being. can't thank you enough for the friendship these past few years.
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at bat for the new project of reading the unread books on my shelves before buying or borrowing
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winner winner bertday cake for dinner
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Tonight's late nite pre-yoga
#thottythursday
is dedicated to Mayday Parade for this awesome concert tee.
Thank goodness for good people 🙏
I also couldn't choose, so here's✌️
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The only logical thing to do is cook tonight's frozen pizza NOW
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new experiment: putting exactly what i want on my dating profile in words id rather use
hypothesis: vulnerability and honesty will attract the vulnerable and honest
results: pending
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Love is an infinite constant. It is always in abundance and it is always with you. Even when you don't feel it and your brain tells you otherwise, it is there, waiting for you.
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grateful for an absolutely incredible weekend of hometown shows. so much love at the lake and on these rocks \mm/
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i would like to stop buying tickets in advance to shows that my body decides the hour before we will not be attending.
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it only makes logical sense to extend my chicago business trip by an extra day to see bayliss@ city winery right?!?
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I'm well endowed with all the doubt I need
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I was kinda looking forward to hanging out on lot
@Dicks
for Labor Day weekend but this afternoon I was added to the roster for a conference in San Diego the week prior sooooo looks like I'll see y'all in Oakland, LA and SD too
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today was my monday and tomorrow is my friday. hell yeah
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we're denver girlies
Girls night was such a success!! We have started a new tradition for the lil transplants bean sprouts 🌱
@all_betz_off_
@HotThotOnLot
@alliedise
@spottedmander
@katifev
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dating history:
-boulder tech bro
-blue collar electrician
-video game addict
-alchstoner skier/little league umpire
-republican antivax drummer who packs heat literally everywhere
-5'1" twin globetrotting marketing analyst
-ginger coffee snob who ate booty without consent
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having to stop smoking weed cause you don't know who's going to test and give a fuck in a legal state is bullshit
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