alisonhaislip Profile
alisonhaislip

@alisonhaislip

Followers
129,951
Following
662
Media
1,099
Statuses
13,616

Actress. Host. Devourer of Worlds...I mean, macaroons. #sexyindifference IG - @alisonhaislip TikTok - @haisliploveswine 3D printing -

Los Angeles, CA
Joined September 2008
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
1 year
So long blue check mark You were fun while you lasted But not worth money #abluehaiku
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
Carrie Fisher. You taught me that being a princess doesn't mean you need to be saved. My heart is broken. #CarrieFisher #RIP
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
I'm now convinced that the Cubs winning the World Series flipped us into the Upside Down and the good guys haven't won since.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
14 year ago today...I did this... @PriceIsRight #BobBarker
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
Con Man Season 2: Jack, Faith, and Wray start a band. #CMS2 @NathanFillion @alan_tudyk @ConManSeries
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
Well well well... *giggles uncontrollably*
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
I've fallen in love with this French ice skating couple, James/Cipres. I can't take my eyes off of them when they skate. They might not be the best technically, but they definitely have the best taste. WHY DO I LOVE THE #OLYMPICS SO MUCH?!?!?
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
3 years
I know I'm a month late, but holy hell did I enjoy #TheSuicideSquad . Huge congrats to @JamesGunn and the entire gang for a friggin' FUN film. #itsyourmom
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
If anyone can say 'Fuck off' to 2016, it's Carrie Fisher. The force is with you, ya badass princess. Stay strong. @carrieffisher
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
2 years
Maybe it's the 2 old fashioneds, but I'm positively joy-crying after watching The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special. 🥃🥃 🥳 @JamesGunn
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
15 years ago today...
@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
14 year ago today...I did this... @PriceIsRight #BobBarker
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
My boyfriend just compared having sex in his parents' house to A Quiet Place.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
So basically I'm an Among Us addict now. Thanks a lot, @G4TV .
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
If you're not sleeping in a child's indoor tent set up over an air mattress in your aunt's hallway cause there were no other beds/bedrooms available, you clearly aren't having the best Christmas Eve ever like I am.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
(Also, there are legitimate tears in my eyes hearing those 3 notes right at the end...)
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
3 years
RIP this meme.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
9 years
Is it called #MakingAMurderer because it makes the people watching it so angry, they want to murder things?
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
Wow...we really had fun back then, didn't we?
@G4TV
G4
4 years
One more day. Subscribe →
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
I've had 2 skinny margaritas and spent 3 hours chuckling to myself over memes. This is what Saturday nights look like in your 30s, kids.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
1 year
New (and I'm guessing last, based on the state of this place) profile pic.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
My dad has just announced that, for the first time in decades, he is going to stay up til midnight this NYE because he "needs to make sure this damn year actually ends."
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
To the ego of the guy I dated 17yrs ago - The 'like' you just received on your month-old Instagram was made by my lesbian friend who thought she was on Tinder while looking at your pic. You're welcome. Sincerely, Alison
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
Dreaming of Sept 4th when I can once again get my fix of corrupt superheroes and the lunatics who try to take them down. @TheBoysTV was one of my favorite binges this past year and we are SO CLOSE to season 2! Watch The Boys on Amazon Prime Video! #TheBoysTV   #ad
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
1 year
In honor of Bob. Still amazed that this is a part of my life story... RIP Bob Barker ❤️
@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
14 year ago today...I did this... @PriceIsRight #BobBarker
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
3 years
Retweeting this just because I've never seen this gif of me. 😂
@icouldbeahacker
TJWFW
3 years
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
3 years
I've just learned that New Zealand uses the phrase "we're not here to fuck spiders" as a way of saying "get to the point" so if you need me, I'll be sitting here contemplating the meaning of my own existence.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Current mood. 📸 @kaelanbarowsky
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
I. Can't. Stop. Eating. CHEESE.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Oh...the Patriots are in the Super Bowl again? How original. *yawn*
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
9 years
Thank u @PTXofficial for making my little cousin's dream come true by putting him in your new vid. He LOVES u! #sing
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Happy birthday, @zacharylevi ! We all know this is your favorite movie so I played you a song... 🎂🍧🍤 #ForrestGump
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
In the last 3 weeks, my mother and I have watched every available episode of The Expanse. And now we just have to...like...wait...for Wednesdays...like everyone else?
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
Just ate an entire container of cold, leftover pasta...without utensils. I used pita chips. I ate cold Primavera pasta w/pita chips. #single
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
3 years
Me.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
Ending of the Oscars > Ending of the Super Bowl
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
Lots of love for my #BattleBots wardrobe. Pants are Zara. Tried to steal the jacket but they sicced the bots on me.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
3 years
Woah... almost missed retweeting this....16 years and counting...
@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
14 year ago today...I did this... @PriceIsRight #BobBarker
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Damn do I miss our show.
@MattMira
Matt Mira
7 years
Time for Black Friday deals! AKA that time Attack of the Show was canceled so I just drew dicks with a telestrator. via @youtube
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Every. Single. Day.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
GAME OF THRONES GAVE ME ALL THE FEELS TONIGHT WHICH OBVIOUSLY MEANS LITERALLY EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE AND I DON'T THINK MY HEART CAN HANDLE THIS WHERE IS THE WINE???? #GOT
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
💔
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
No episode of any show has ever made me more pumped than tonight's episode of #GameofThrones WINTER HAS COME INDEED!!!!!
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
11 months
ME: *sneezing uncontrollably* Dad! What's wrong with me??? DAD: Oh, you're full. ME: ....what? DAD: Yeah, it runs in the family. We sneeze a lot when we're full. I'M JUST HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW??
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
Excelsior, you wonderful soul. The world has been forever beautifully changed because of you. #RIP
@THR
The Hollywood Reporter
6 years
Breaking: Stan Lee, Marvel Comics' real-life superhero, dies at 95
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED THE WIRE. EVERYONE WHO HAS WANTED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH ME ABOUT IT SINCE 2005... COME AT ME, BRA.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
I don't know who took this, but it's perfect. #womensmarch
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Helloooooooooooooo Nurse!
@Variety
Variety
7 years
‘Animaniacs’ Reboot Lands Two-Season Straight-to-Series Order at Hulu
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
I just whispered to myself "shhh...I go bed now" in case you were wondering if I've been drinking.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
So my nightmare just happened... Got out of the shower. Went to put on my bathrobe. SPIDER STARTS CRAWLING ALONG MY STOMACH. Whatever horror movie I am currently living, I want out. NOW.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
I'll just bring back this tweet from a year ago...
@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Oh...the Patriots are in the Super Bowl again? How original. *yawn*
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
3 years
Just tried to plug in my mimosa instead of my phone. Merry Christmas, everyone!
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
NYC: Walk 50ft out of a Starbucks & some dude slams into me, knocking my iced green tea to the ground, and just keeps moving. 😞 Also NYC: Walk 50ft back to the same Starbucks to buy a new iced green tea, and the barista happily just gives me a new one. 😊
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
Just chugged the last few ounces of rosé straight out of the bottle cause I didn't want to get a glass if you're wondering how I'm holding up.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
This is a gift from the Internet Gods. #proicecreamcake
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
I'm rewatching Ghostbusters and I'll never get over the fact that the villain in this movie (besides, you know, all the supernatural stuff) is...the EPA.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
At a wedding... Wedding photographer: Are you...on a robot fighting show? Me: Yes...yes I am. #win #Battlebots #LinTulippe
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
17 days
@JamesGunn Oh James, I'm so sorry. Addictions can be cruel, cruel masters. Sending you lots of love, friend.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
Okay, everyone...YES. Settle all your bets. Sleep better at night. That IS me in that Taco Bell commercial...
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
I've had 3 whiskey sodas. Now is definitely the right time to call my ex and tell him he's an idiot, right?
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
My flight attendant told me I looked like Brooke Shields and I immediately blushed, thanked her, then said it was "PROBABLY BECAUSE I GREW OUT MY EYEBROWS" because apparently my awkward ass needed to give some explanation for such a nice compliment and THAT was the best one.🤦‍♀️
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
There is no spell more difficult to break than that of a comfortable bed.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
Finally, my shirt - The front says: THE PRICE CAN'T BE WRONG... While the back says: WHEN IT FEELS SO RIGHT. Yes...I still own it. 😊 @PriceIsRight
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
My boyfriend, who does not watch football, just Googled "NFL cup" to look up the score of the Super Bowl. #SuperBowl
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
For all of you "Pics or it didn't happen" people...
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
It is 3pm. I am still in my pajamas. All I have eaten today is a bowl of pumpkin spice granola in milk and a Ferrero Rocher. Ah yes... ...my holidays have begun.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
I have become cheese.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
4 years ago, I watched the #Oscars with Rami on a friend's couch while we ate pizza. Tonight, I got to watch him win an Oscar. Nothing could make me more proud of this wonderful,…
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
My mother, who has a PHD in statistics & taught it at a collegiate level for decades, just said this and blew my mind: "Statistics should help you make an informed decision, not make the decision for you."
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Woke up...first thought: I GET TO SEE STAR WARS TONIGHT!!!! #TheLastJedi
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
Madam Vice President I'll probably cry every time I hear this phrase for the next 4+ years and I'm so unbelievably thrilled about it. Thank you, @KamalaHarris .
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
Aaaaaaand....I'm dead. 😂
@Dave_Welch
Dave Welch
5 years
Long-Forgotten G4 Correspondent Still Producing Remote Segment On 2012 E3
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
2 years
So long and thanks for all the fish.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Just pulled milk out of my fridge that expired 3 months ago. Not sure I'm doing this whole 'adulting' thing right.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
ARYA 2020!!! #GOT
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
This person clearly did not listen to enough Mitch Hedberg... #escalatortemporarilystairs #sorryfortheconvenience #MitchHedberg
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
My dear @NathanFillion - As a die hard #Uncharted fan, I must say... HUZZAH!!! This is some damn fine work.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
It took a worldwide pandemic for me to finally sit down and watch The West Wing.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Just witnessed a total solar eclipse immediately followed by a lightning storm & I've never been more in awe of our incredible planet.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
2 years
Stranger Things did NOT come to fuck around this season.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
WE HAVE A WOMAN VP!!!!!!!!!!!!
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
12 years
Sometimes I wish Timbaland would follow me around and yell things like "Take it to the chorus!" just so I knew what to do with my life.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
3 years
Wordle 243 X/6 🟨🟨🟨⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 I'm going to burn the city to the ground. 😖😖😖
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Welp, I already know my Halloween costume for next year... @bbcdoctorwho #DoctorWho
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Is it acceptable to be in bed at 8pm the day you get back from Comic Con? Asking for a friend.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
I'm pretty sure I yelled "DRAGONS!" at least 26 times and in varying degrees of emotion during tonight's #GameOfThrones ...
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
This past week, I've woken up every morning, I've read the news, & I've cried. This can't continue for 4 years. Our country won't survive.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
Let me just say...the experience of hearing your own voice coming from an NPC before you stalk up behind them and stab them in the neck with a knife will never get old. #LastOfUsPartII
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 months
😎
@TheCameronRice
Cameron Rice
7 months
Got to shoot with the amazing @alisonhaislip Styling by @stacyohoward Makeup by AsToldByMila
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
I'll take broken-hearted for $1000, Trebek. 😞💔
@Jeopardy
Jeopardy!
4 years
Jeopardy! is saddened to share that Alex Trebek passed away peacefully at home early this morning, surrounded by family and friends. Thank you, Alex.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
1 year
I haven't been wearing a ridiculous neon orange vest and an absurdly huge hat to make sure people don't get hit by cars in front of Paramount over the last 105 days to settle. Proud to have my name on this letter. Proud to be #UnionStrong . @sagaftra
@LadyKateBond
kate bond
1 year
As our Negotiating Committee continues to fight for a fair deal, SAG-AFTRA members want them and the CEOs to know that we have our leaders’ backs, and no one will break our solidarity. One day longer. One day stronger. As long as it takes. #SagAftraStrong
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
My family just unanimously decided to watch Wonder Woman as our Christmas movie and I have never loved them more.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
4 years
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
3 years
Nothing is more magical than watching my drunk mother (from 1 glass of wine) explaining to a drunk me (from 4 glasses of wine) how to turn off all the lights in the house before I go to bed.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
7 years
Accomplished today: Watching season 5 of House of Cards ... Did not accomplish today: Showering
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
5 years
My family now has a new Thanksgiving tradition where we start watching The Irishman right after dinner til someone falls asleep, wakes up, & asks to "rewind a bit" so they can catch up, creating a cycle that means we will never actually finish the movie til Thanksgiving of 2034.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
8 years
Getting weird with @ClareGrant , @NathanFillion , & LM at the #Hearstwick rehearsal bowling extravaganza. 💙💙💙
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
Any drink is a shot if you try hard enough.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
At this rate, I'm expecting the next phone call from my parents to be an update to their Privacy Policy.
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@alisonhaislip
alisonhaislip
6 years
I had the honor of working with Stan Lee many times over the last decade. But the greatest moment was this interview here...in his office to launch his new website. He found out it was my…
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