Grandpa Al
@al_requiem
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I have an author page now with all my books in one spot!
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If you can give me a reason you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old man paused a moment, and then said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back".
"Have a good day sir.", replied the trooper 3/3
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A senior citizen drove his brand new convertible Corvette out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he sped up to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through whatever gray hair he had left.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper with his lights on 1/
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Explain it to me like I'm 5. Why are human beings calling themselves men buying fancy jeans for $200 a pair?
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Watching Rudolph with a couple grandkids. Yukon Cornelius has an underrated kit
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I don't think my wife completely gets it. I will sell my personal possessions, I'll chop wood, I'll kill your rats, I'll hawk my coloring books on the internet, I will do whatever I have to to send ALL those kids to private school. Need your cell phone fished out of honey bucket?
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He sped up to 100, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, what am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to wait for the trooper.
Pulling in behind him, and then walking up to the Corvette, the trooper looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 15 minutes. 2/
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If you've followed me for any length of time, you've seen me chopping wood or working on dryers or hawking my cookbook, although I work in Alaska. If you're curious why, it's because I'm paying for private school for my grandkids, currently 3 in school next year. Why? 1/
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I wonder if I can bring back some words that aren't used anymore. Exactamundo, for instance. Snazzy isn't used much anymore. Was mayhaps an actual word back in the day?
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I've lived an interesting life. Now it's all about these little guys. Get the pads away from them and they'll still entertain themselves with a stick (right of screen)
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I'm just gonna go full boomer and start a prepper channel on YouTube
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Put 5 hours into my splitting wood yesterday and I'm not sure I can lift my arms to drive today
@lovemylife81
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Monthly PSA to have your dryer vent cleaned. Over 14,000 dryer fires a year in the United States. If you need some help doing it yourself, hit me up. I'll also have some how-to videos up in February.
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Parents can't homeschool. Public schools are terrifying nowadays. And wifey wants a vacation once in a while. She's earned it. So I'm gonna keep grinding. Just wanted some of you to know what I was about 2/2
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Apparently I'm a Russian citizen now
Hahahah - seriously. not kidding: Putin has signed a decree making the sale of Alaska to the US illegal. territory is to be declared occupied 😂
#RussiaIsATerroristState
#Russia
#RussiaUkraineWar
#Russian
#Ukraine
#usa
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Just canceled 3 subscription services. $60 x 12 months is $720 that can go towards grandkids school.
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For those of you who suggested Lewis and Clark Expedition, I'm trying.
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Seriously, how bizarre is it to have the internet when we used to use the Dewey Decimal System?
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What the hell happened to frozen juice? Where is it? How am I supposed to explain to my grandkids that my mother used 4, not 3 cans of water?
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Bigfoot of the World Coloring Book: For Ages 4 and Up, Sasquatch his Cousins Around the Globe
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Sure Jan
Men today are soft.
You must manufacture some difficulty in your day-to-day life to halt the slide into formless blobness.
Here’s 3 practices to toughen up and resist the pussification of modern man:
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Seriously, we get 75 years if we're lucky. How many people spend it all bitching about everything?
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Grandkids have been here for 2 hours and the house looks like a raided homeless encampment
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Can anyone suggest a good bird book to buy before they change all the racist names?
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Wanted to say a sincere THANK YOU to everyone who bought some of my coloring books, or shared my posts, or even hit like.
I'd appreciate if you have a moment, to please leave an honest review on Amazon. It could continue to help me get some organic sales.
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You might think making coloring books is all glamour and red carpets, but I just spent 2 hours vectorizing 115 coloring page images. I learned to do that so the pictures are less pixely. It's a bit tedious, but it's worth it. Of those 115, I'll use 40 or 50 of the best ones
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My internet work isn't generating enough money so I have to take some work that will keep me offline until Thursday. Have a good week!
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@OfAthenry
The old " I took that firewood out there 4 years ago and left it" trick. I see you Rudy
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USCGC Morgenthau in 2016 in Dutch Harbor, Alaska, the year before it was decommissioned and acquired by Vietnam (ironically, the vessel served in the Vietnam War)
@lovemylife81
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Thank God I got upgraded to First Class. I hate having to sit with the peasantry
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Heard a good one today- "Every day stand guard at the doorway of your mind."
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If Quentin Tarantino did a weird movie about Groundhog Day, would it be called "Kill Phil"?
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Anyone on here ever stationed in Adak, or know anyone who was? I'm doing a video of what it looks like now, but I'd really like to use a couple pictures of what it looked like when it was active
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Reloading Journal finally out! Available in 2 camo patterns or black. This link takes you to one of the camo patterns, or type Grandpa Al Publishing in the search bar of Amazon-
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It was only within the past 5 years or so that I can listen without trying to fix it. I still catch myself sometimes. Men, take my advice. quit trying to fix it
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"I'm focusing on what I can affect. Grinding until there's no point or I'm in the ground", he said to himself, and also to his 1882 Twitter followers, or at least the 17 that pay attention to his old man ramblings
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Ever had a cow try to jump over a barbed wire fence? It turns into an udder catastrophe.
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When I was a kid, I couldn't come to the table in a tshirt. No one wore jeans to church. The store/airport/insert location wasn't full of people looking like they just got out of bed.
People used to want to look their best.
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First time in years I got the "Runners High" from exercising this morning. Either that or I'm having a stroke
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Dudes on here today acting like HAARP isn't real. Next thing they'll say I'm not real
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One of my proudest moments as a parent was watching my then 9 year old son choke 17 year old Tyler almost unconscious on my front lawn while my older boys and several others screamed at Tyler to tap out (he didn't know what tapping out was, but he learned that day)
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I'm getting ads for online therapy now. I thought that's what Twitter was
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Grandson wanted to throw football until I couldn't see it anymore. Then we switched to the frisbee with lights on it. My arm is about to fall off. Modelo time
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Not all heroes wear capes........
Meet Ogi Conwanda he invented the pants vest jacket for business profile pictures.
#BlackHistoryMonth
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Today is a No Screens day for grandkids. No TV. No video games. No youtube. Somehow they've kept themselves busy. Need to do a Play Dough run real quick
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For as many people get on here and whine about property taxes, you'd think a few people would have perked up over this tweet, but no, why like an actual solution to a problem? Much more fun to bitch about the problem I guess
These are both floating houses. I think they've solved the "you don't ever own your home because of property taxes" meme
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@realgreggd
@BonnieBlueTK
I would've thought that lesson would have been learned after Yellowstone burned
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Posting this for myself.
"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
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@manhattanmaker
Problem is, are enough middle of the road people tired enough of what's going on to vote for someone they've been programmed to hate for the past 7 years?
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I took twitters advice and replaced my old maul with a Fiskars. Buy once, cry once
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