'CHKDSK' ''MUSIC''
@activeshouter
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DANGER DEATH WARLORD & LASER DOT ICON COMIN WIT THE AUDIOVISUALLY TERRORISTIC BYTES N BITS! | @909worldwide | contact: momofunbun@ gmail | pfp: @goblin_sorcerer
Sexual Phil Collins Accident
Joined April 2012
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putting pronouns in my bio and 45 seconds later a tesla on autopilot crashes through my living room window
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when i still worked at best buy i got so depressed i bought a kh keyblade & walked around carrying it over my shoulder to see how long it'd take mgmt to tell me to stop & it wound up increasing my sales so much that i did it for a whole month & no one said a fuckin thing to me
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this is the first genuinely smart phishing scheme ive ever seen lmao. like, no promises of free games, no heartstring pulling sob story, no unprompted links, just "ayo they callin u a pedophile in here"
[𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚]
If you receive a DM resembling the below image, immediately report it and do not interact with the message in any other way.
If you have joined that server or otherwise interacted with it: RESET YOUR PASSWORD NOW!
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joining the official south park discord and searching the word "pronouns" and immediately the power in my entire neighborhood goes out
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this is like one of the funniest tweets i've seen in years look at that fucking picture
Bill Gates Arrested by US Federal Marshals; Being Held Under Armed Watch at Guantanamo Bay; Charged With War Crimes Against Humanity. Washington Post.
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Twitch streamer Atrioc issued an apology after accidentally revealing that he watched deepfake videos of streamers Pokimane and Maya
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if it all goes down never forget i was the reason he made this tweet and it lead to him having a multiple days long public meltdown
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most popular genre of anime, 90s: what if a guy sucked in a cool way
most popular genre of anime, 00s: what if a girl had a gun
most popular genre of anime, 10s: what if women existed
most popular genre of anime, 20s: what if you could cry, with your fists
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noclipping into the produce section and gmod ragdolling around until i force a hard respawn outside the building with my cart full of booze intact [02:54, PB, WR]
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losing my fucking shit at russian dubbed beavis
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yeah man i've been really workin on myself lately. wakin up early, eating right, exercising, back on meds, no more drugs. in general just trying to live better and longer. it's the most agonizing thing i have ever experienced
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you can put pretty much any song over the third impact sequence and it works, but,
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this is the worst fucking book store i've ever been in
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whats the worst movie you guys have ever seen. and like don't give me easy answers like late-career adam sandler movies, i mean something like completely and totally devoid of any redeeming qualities. i'm talking something so offensive on every sensory level it's breathtaking
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nephew, age 7: i need chocolate milk, i need a puppy,
me, age 27: i need a bad bitch . i need too see some cheaks clappeing .
the greek chorus i paid to follow me around: WOE, HOW THE YEARS SLIP AWAY FROM US. HOW TRAGIC, THE JOYS OF THIS LIFE.
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Meta thinks they're hot shit with their pre-rendered legs... HAH! We'll see who has the last laugh when I make a headset where the controllers are both loaded glocks!
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at any moment i could just post some dumbass shit like "evangelion is japan's steven universe" and fuck your whole day up, and i dont even have to believe it,
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well folks it looks like "corporate minimalism" has taken another victim.......
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im like inconsolable this is the hardest ive laughed in months
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sir i m̷̫̬͝ȗ̸̧͉̇s̶̻͑͜ţ̸̋ ̸̣͊͐b̵̳͐ė̴͕̲̇ͅc̵̩̼̃͋̍̊ȏ̵̥͙̮̙̆͠m̶̮͕̺̺̦̜̺̞̗͋̉̈́͐͌͂̈́ȅ̷̩̖̥̲̝̪̼̏̔̒͒͐͒̓̕ ̷̣̂̿̈͝ͅy̶̳̯̔̊͑́̏̅̈ŏ̴̮͈͇͚͝ǔ̸̢̡̢̳̤̬̠̭͕͚̬̤̘̟̩̍̈́̽̀͒͋͊͊̂͐̀̈́͌̀͋̍͐̿̊̓̚͘̕͘͝͝͝
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like you could lead with "bro they're saying you stalked a girl in this server" and attach a link to like, "imtryingtohackyouraccount .com" and people would still fall for it. that's how smart this is
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also when they put me through the bullshit online corporate training i kept making jokes about jamiroquai and kreayshawn in the chat and that somehow lead to me getting linked up with someone here on twitter who was in the same chat that was friends with a mutual . small world.
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genuinely fascinated how bad atomic heart's writing is. they were doing interviews saying its primary inspiration was Classic Literature and every other line in it is something to the effect of "What the fuck! That robot just sucked the shit out of my dick!"
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You wanna get somewhere in life, kid? Go to the doctor, start bouncing your leg a bit. Talk too much. Say the right things here and there and they'll put you on a little thing called Adderall. That's the good shit. Go home and take 3. Get on the computer. Your life begins now.
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people are posting old clips from xplay talking about how poorly they've aged but i have yet to see anyone bring up my favorite Regrettable G4 Moment; the live action Kingdom Hearts stage play where the guy playing Ansem is COVERED HEAD TO TOE IN SKIN BRONZER
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YO !! THE SAFDIES ARE GIVIN FREE DOME BEHIND THE PRODUCTION LOT !!!!!
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when weed's fully legal i'm gonna hit the lab and invent a new kinda weed that's so fucked up they have to make it illegal. you take two hits you start channeling spirits, three hits you turn into the guy from the movie Pi. four hits? you wake up in gitmo. AS THE WARDEN
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dude saw Scanners and was like "yo........ this is how i get back in the industry........"
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care + i asked + you look nice today + i brought u flowers
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[jpegmafia voice] shut the fuck up!! [cartoon slide whistle] [mumble unmute noise] i ain't got time for your bullshit!!!! [la cucaracha car horn] [ed edd n eddy crash sfx] I'M BUSY! [gunshot] STILL MAD ABOUT GEORGE BUSH!! [wtfboom.wav] [sonic ring sound] [chicago tornado siren]
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i've never said this bc we were technically under NDA but there were plans for a Second Dashcon and a friend almost got me booked to perform at it. i was gonna bill myself as a brony dj and then show up and play Hanatarashi albums and scream in pain until they made me stop
the first day of DashCon was nine years ago today
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it has sucked repeatedly winding up in a position where i am forced to vehemently defend a man whose music makes me wish we could votekick people from Earth
Funny thing about this is the conclusion you’re meant to reach is “well obviously she’s a hypocrite or not a feminist for dating this guy who is basically like Hitler” as opposed to “maybe these accusations are ridiculously overblown”
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laughing really hard imagining a mormon guy saying "wow! i don't think this is for me." in the most normal possible voice after hitting a crack pipe
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at hot topic walking up behind a 5'6" twink who's clearly pretending to look at demon slayer shirts while darting their eyes over at the cheaply made skirts covered in rhinestones so unethically made they still technically count as blood diamonds and saying "hey bro, you trans?"
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its not fair to say americans only care about burger. i also care about french fry
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me personally i wouldn't give my dog brain, personally
Looks really good man. Probably just gonna keep giving my dog normal food though.
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why do i have this image saved in my graphics folder as "marlboros"
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what you think "DG" stands for and what it says about you:
"death grips" - gay
"drain gang" - gay
"dollar general" - poor, gay
"dolce & gabbana" - rich, gay
"deleuze & guattari" - in dire need of psychiatric care, gay
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@sosawagon
oh god i hadn't even considered what a treasure trove "rushed covid conspiracy sci-fi" would be here
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autism in movies: *stuttering every single word, drooling* i just want a girl to like me , but i can't speak good ,,,
autism in real life: got kicked out of the planetarium because they were doing a big exhibit about the challenger explosion and i kept laughing (i'm 36 btw)
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james cameron spent 13 years trying to figure out how to get away with making the na'vi version of a white boy with an n word pass
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i think the funniest possible outcome of all this would be if i wound up being able to get my old account back because of this tweet
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@paulbensonsucks
it genuinely helped me sell more shit cuz ppl would walke up to me like "yo what's up with the sword" and i'd be like "it got you to talk to me, didn't it? wassup i'm morgan"
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I Did Not Mean To Disparage Mr. Sandler Or His Films I Was Just Trying To Steer The Conversation Away From "haha grown ups sucks!!!!" And Closer To "movies that make troma look like kurosawa"
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@DXsanguine
i made a lame ass joke about moving his albums to the comedy section at a record store and he found the tweet and got into an argument with me, then me and a bunch of friends started sending him a bunch of irony tweets & he responded by saying this lol
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[seeing a teen on here post a lastfm 3x3 that mirrors my exact music taste a decade ago] Ahaaaaa My Friend !! It is Not going To go well For You.
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im so fuckin jealous of 50s housewives. otc diet pills were basically meth. you could put cubed ham in jello molds and people would eat it without pause. if you went to a doctor and showed any signs of having emotions they'd just throw quaaludes at you until you died. what a life
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350mg of caffeine, valerian root, ashwagandha, horny goat weed, l-theanine, some windex, 900% Vitamin 2, limonene isolate, detroit tap water, a couple squirts of Ozempic, guaifenesin, xanthan gum, rat piss concentrate, like six watch batteries, some black paint, diesel, mulch,
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@boocanan
it's like if a genocidal dictator started dressing like a code geass character. like how was that your takeaway
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asked chatgpt to explain deleuze in "youtube poop terms" and it generated the worst series of words i have ever read in my life. awful in ways no human being could dream to be. humans have been surpassed in one art: Making Trash
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in 2014 if you were a white boy with a hair/beard situation that made you look like a half-shaven poodle who wore rick ross shades & floral button-downs you could get main stage at Bonnaroo and a 7.2 from pitchfork just by admitting to sex crimes over a Cocteau Twins sample
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"powerviolence" is probably the best genre name. we need more of that. enough -cores and -waves and -steps, i want genre names to be the coolest words you can think of slammed together. dickexplosion. speedmonolith burial. sexmurder. latvian terrordome. firefight. dark turbulance
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every weird guy wants a 7'4" amazonian goth girl to make them clean their room in a sexual way. every weird girl wants a brooding misunderstood guitar boy who doesn't point out when they contradict themselves. me? i want some fucking answers.
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i heard from people over the years that every couple years there was like an arms race of college freshmen in the area all vying to rent/stay at the american football house and that it got, quote, "pretty fucking heated" so in all this is probably the best possible decision
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maybe instead of sending " weapons " overseas and creating " isis " the american government should be airdropping turntables into active war zones to push the absolute limits of what can be called "electro house"
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just found the best old winamp skin ive ever seen
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world war 3 but only for white people is about to happen in this server
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24 year old lgbt dissociative addict smoking resin on my couch: yo dude which of the mlp horses do you think is a 9/11 truther
me, nodding out in a lay-z-boy recliner: hhhhhhoooouhhhhhhgghhhh... Hhhhhhhhhhhhooouuuuuuuuuu........hhhhhhhhh.....hhggghgggrgggh.......hhhhssshhhh......
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guy who's secretly a prude: i wanna get sucked rawstyle in the Cereal aisle, slap my balls on the self checkout, and cum on the receipt,
the most depraved person you'll ever meet, a horrific parody of man, lost in noxious pursuit of debauchery: it's cute when girls wear band-aids
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in 2016 cuba gooding jr deepthroated a guy's phone in public and a video got posted to tumblr with the caption "cuba gooding jr high off them shits eating a cellphone at a rick ross concert" and i swear to god i said that phrase out loud 3 times a day for an entire year
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someone was like "shit how do we make a festival for both trans people and chasers"
Las Vegas! We’ll see you next year for Sick New World!
Presale starts this Friday 11/11 at 10 AM PST:
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guy in front of me at the convenience store got his card declined on a $2 charge then turned around and told me i had "sick shoes," but looked "kinda gay" in them. either this is a good omen, or my life is about to get immeasurably worse
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honestly amazed at how every attempt the darkthrone guy has made at apologizing for/explaining the album they made with varg is somehow worse than the previous try
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alternate timeline where web3 technology got popular in 2011 and motherfuckers were blowing a quarter of a million dollars on fsjal edits
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the most owned i've ever been in my life was when someone told me that all my friends and i use twitter as "4chan suboxone"
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yea i gotta "critical race theory" for you. the dale earnhardt crash was planned. they wanted him dead.
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this tweet will follow me to my grave
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/!\ EMERGENCY WARNING SERVICE ALERT /!\
At 6:45pm the Emergency Warning Service issued the following alert for your area:
cool bird in wal mart (aisle 6)
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nardwuar interviewing himself in a mirror for practice but he gets stuck in an endless loop trying to hand himself albums
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@BeardedSkeptic
black friday is the devil's holiday. horrible people killing eachother to get $50 off a flatscreen. i specifically do not shop on that day to save retail workers the anguish.
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oh damn, was there a minor factual error in that joke i made? i'll make sure to keep that in mind next time i'm making shit up about something i know very little about. thanks for letting me know, man
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36 y/o coworker blasting the spotify phonk playlist in the breakroom: have u ever heard of garfieldcore
me eating panera sandwich: [mutters] $15. this shit was $15 and it's just something i coulda made at home, but with pretend ingredients from a clown nightmare. [speaks up] No.
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