HEY! YOU LOVE BOOKS!! And it's
#selfpromosaturday
!
I wrote about a noble who is a leader, mother, lover, and imperfect human. Her husband may hold the sword, but she's the key to their legacy.
THE DRAGON AND THE BUTTERFLY is available now in ebook & paperback. You'll love it!🧵
@stkirsch
Imagine pretending you have $100,000 cash-in-hand, and using that alleged money to try to embarrass a masked woman who also likely does not exist.
Janine Beckie has been great for TSN this World Cup, but that side-eye to James Duthie, who overlooked everything
#CANWNT
has ever done to declare a single World Cup goal the greatest moment in Canada Soccer history, should replace QE2 on the $20 bill.
Victor Newman is a king among soap villains, but his performer, Eric Braeden, survived the greatest shipwreck in history while fleeing the Nazis with his family at age 9 (MV Wilhelm Gustloff), and he deals with racist soap junkies like this. 👑
@SPisacreta
I don't think you or I can reasonably relate to the emotion tied up in the annual Oscar race, especially for an actor who's been grinding for 40 years.
With that in mind, I believe she handled her moment of heartbreak with more class than you're showing now, anyway.
Lots of People: Prince William will save the British Monarchy!
Prince William: As a matter of fact, I have something privileged and idiotic to say instead.
@randysharpswife
Here's a really fun thing you should try: don't buy bandaids you don't like. Since that takes no effort on your part, you can devote a little more of that misplaced hateful energy to not acting like the universe revolves around you and the things you think are N.B.D.
@MediClit
How are women going to pay a price for not having a vulva created via surgery? What is being taken from us or denied to us? Why does the existence of someone else's post-op vulva put me at a disadvantage, when the shape of my vulva is of evidently greater concern to you than me?
I talk a lot of shit for someone who scooped handfuls of their father into the ocean this weekend, and bawled like a baby who never learned how to speak.
Remember when Dick Clark retired and we were all 'Ryan Seacrest can't fill his shoes!'
But then Anderson Cooper said 'Hold my beer, ' and we totally took a secret sip while we watched America's damn sweetheart become the real new Dick Clark?
I think about this just enough.
@DrakeGatsby
Only to, when it's all over, be like, 'Sorry your dead mother only actually took up like the last 15 minutes of this whole epic story about how I actually love your Aunt Robyn more than your mom though!'
@kenklippenstein
In other words "8% of what I do is reflected in my salary. The other 92% is me getting paid for the work that you do, but here's a low-balled counter-offer because if I have to be even two per cent more productive I'll have to use all 8 weeks of my vacation at once to recover."
A top Canadian female news anchor was fired because she let her hair go grey, and it's just weird because she was fired by a bunch of grey-haired men in grey suits and it's supposed to be 2022 not 1962. 🤷♀️
Deleting my dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (by being forced to wed my mother's cousin to enhance my family's position in the village. Also he has a large goat to trade for me.)
Pretty sure any legal challenge to the right to wave a F🍁CK TRUDEAU flag on Parliament Hill will be met with an opportunity to read rules for the use of Parliament Hill for perhaps the first time.
OF NOTE: Messages that are obscene, offensive, or promote hatred are banned.
Took time to myself yesterday. Worked on some edits. Got psyched up to go to a wedding today AND ZIPPED THE BACK OF MY DRESS BY MYSELF with great effort and physical struggle.
Let's do this thing.
Gonna get dark for a hot minute. Trigger warning!
Last night, I dreamed I committed suicide, because I hated my job but couldn't escape the realities of adulting. Too afraid to take a leap and make a change.
Today, I was laid off.
Sometimes, dreams know what's up before we do.
With Pier 1 closing brick and mortar stores across Canada and filing bankruptcy in the US, are we sure it's just Amazon they can't compete with, or the fact that Millennials and younger have been priced out of the market and can only afford hand-me-downs to furnish their rentals?
Jurassic Park was released 30 years ago today, and I've got a hot take! The hacker girl saved the whole park but never gets enough credit for it (I don't even remember her character's name!)
But she and the dilophosaurus were the only ones who could take Dennis Nedry down.
CANWNT has:
- one Olympic gold, two Olympic bronze medals.
- not missed the World Cup since 1995.
- hosted the World Cup in 2015.
- The GOAT of women's football.
- succeeded despite Canada Soccer, year after year after year.
We lost our Dad today.
We made a playlist for him with songs and set it on shuffle. He died after 3pm local time with his musical hero, Brian Wilson, playing in his ear.
Again, I love and thank all of you for reaching out. I'll catch up with more personal thanks when I can. 💔
@melanielynskey
Read this as though it was delivered with all the energy of "Of course not, Mother, I'm only here for the food," while you smirk at her impending death sentence by King Francis.
If you won $50 in a writing contest and it wasn't a commission, would you still say you've made money writing?
Because if so, I just levelled up in the writing game. 🤘
Imagine being on Twitter and not asking for a follow back, but being engaging and interesting and getting followed back because you don't creep them out demanding a follow-4-follow.
Fictional romance is unrealistic.
Fictional horror is unrealistic.
Historical fiction is unrealistic. ...Wait.
If the opinion is that fictional novels are too fictional, they have a genre for that, too! It's called non-fiction.
Dorothy Hamill and Mark Hamill aren't related but they both broke through in the mid/late '70s.
With the same haircut.
I feel like this groundbreaking revelation is something Gen X'ers have been keeping to themselves for decades. Or I just don't read enough stuff.
@Mike_Pence
I, too, like to go on Fox News where I know they'll give me a softball interview, so I can boldly claim to care about kids when I'm really just gonna let them die to save guns. But as long as I've vilified women who want bodily autonomy, nothing else matters to my donors, either.
#DailyGratitude
Just submitted a short story. My stomach is in knots about it, but I got over myself and my hyper-critical nature and it's off. Without the
#writingcommunity
and the friends I've made here, I never would have gotten over myself enough do it. Thank you always!
My landlord just sent an email to all tenants, asking all of us not to have loud sex at night because there have been complaints.
Meanwhile, they can't fix the pipes or call an exterminator about the mice.
I'm not saying that cooking with raisins should be outlawed, but you shouldn't be allowed to attend dinner parties if you mash your potatoes with raisins and bring them to share with good, innocent people.
Guys on dating apps who match with me: You're beautiful, etc, sexy panties?
Me: The sexiest thing about me is my brain. My brain panties are extremely bright, and they have pockets! That's where I stash my wit!
Them: *unmatch*
@JeremyClarkson
It wasn't clumsy, it was calculated, and this is the most generic and insincere apology ever written by a publicist you screamed at over the nerve you've been made to say sorry.
Men, please don't write like boys.
Imagine it: "Abby was silenced as a bulging penis walked past. No, not just a penis. THE penis. Perfect. Not precipitously exposed. Perfectly shaped, it marched past her, held in an embrace of denim, rejoicing to cling to his curve."
GTFO etc.
What is it with men seeing women as just a pair of breasts? I want a Q&A sesh with some of these guys jfc
#submission
(THE WAY OF SHADOWS, Brent Weeks)
Selfie discourse again?
Some think it's shallow to like pictures of ourselves but actually it takes years of unlearning all the reasons we're substandard.
I think all I can write today is my Dad's obituary. And it's still so surreal that I can't just call him up and run it by him.
No one. No one supported my writing as fervently and excitedly as he did. No one person could ever replace his enthusiasm for everything we ever did.
Outlander fans born after the eradication of smallpox who don't have the vaccine: how does it feel knowing you would definitely not have Claire's immunity if you, too, went through the stones?
I love this, for some reason. Writers and their details. 👌👌
@PrezyPrez
@ElijahSchaffer
Everything I have laughed at in 2023 has not come even remotely close to how much I laughed at this vid. Thank you for your profound service to the discourse of this shit. 😂🔥
Tucker Carlson releases a movie encouraging the liberation of Canada. The next week, Tucker Carlson loses his job.
I'm not saying you should blame Canada for this, but do it anyway. We accept.
I'm getting a little tired of seeing Pat King videos making the rounds, where he directly threatens the lives of Canadians, makes clear his involvement in the Ottawa Occupation, and has yet to even face questioning by the
@RCMP
over his terror links.
Enough is enough.
@technologypoet
@CBCAlerts
@CBC
Welcome to Canadian political discourse, Vanessa! Since you're here all the way from TX, kindly remember to remove your shoes when you come in and leave every last one of your guns at home. But otherwise, welcome, have some poutine and come in for a clue! We're happy to help you!
@propermenshevik
Yes but you see she's a woman, and so all her accomplishments are either less valuable than her appearance or because of her appearance, and it would seem the madding crowd has chosen option A for this one. 😒
According to Hallmark Christmas movies, the only way I'll find my soulmate is if I inherit a cozy fixer-upper of an inn from a wealthy aunt, in a small town with just one sexy, conveniently single-for-no-toxic-reason handyman.
It's not raining!!!!
Also, wearing my uniform as a Canadian today
#plaid
, and testing what the algorithm does with an off-centre face on a gal with no boobs. It's research.
I wonder how selfie-haters feel about people who still wear masks on planes for their personal state of mind, while the person behind them hacks away like their lungs are hanging in by a thread?
When Rob Schneider promised he'd never come to Canada due to our fascist dictatorship, I hoped he truly believed what he was saying so he'd stick to his alleged principles.
Meanwhile our free country let him in so Canadians at a fundraiser could boo him offstage. Beauty.
An ex-boyfriend's mom bought me a cookbook once, because I said her son was the better chef. I was complimenting him, she was gender-shaming me, and I wound up accidentally starting a grease fire in her kitchen trying to make him something from that cookbook.
- me, flirting.
@piersmorgan
Even funnier is how your entire career apparently hinges on making money doing commentary on their every single move. Like if you could truly see yourself, you would also be laughing at yourself.
Serious Question: 📢
Anyone else's Mom refuse to make time to read an 8-min. story you got published even though your reminders and guilt trips are on point?
What else can I do to make her care that I still find more joy in writing than anything? Always have. She's never cared.
@tnhousegop
It's a sad day for Tennessee because you're more interested in protecting guns than the democratic right of Tennesseans to representation. It's a sad day for Tennessee because the NRA has more rights in Tennessee than voters.
@ItsSamG
@RealDeanCain
And the real Superman would've worn a mask without complaint, because his entire existence is devoted to keeping other people safe.
Who remembers the first movie they saw in theatres? I vividly remember this rite of passage.
What was your first? Mine was the animated Beauty and the Beast.